Note: chapter title from "make it without you" by andrew belle.

happy new year y'all!

13. the starting of my greatest fear

… … …

By the time Monday morning rolls around, Elena is frantic. She hasn't heard from Stefan or Damon all weekend, not since the football game on Friday, and that makes her incredibly nervous. She knows how their father can get when they don't perform well, and considering the outcome of the game, she knows his reaction can't have been good. She's texted them, left them both messages all weekend, and nothing. She almost went over there to check on them, but she was afraid that would do more harm than good. She hardly slept at all last night worrying about them, and when she sees them walk through the school doors together, she's never been more relieved to see them in her life.

Until they come closer, and she feels the blood drain from her face.

They look awful. Both of them. There are streaks of black and blue covering Damon's neck in the distinct shape and pattern of a handprint, and Stefan's left eye is practically swollen shut. She gasps audibly, her worry from the past three days bubbling over.

"Oh my God," she breathes out when they approach her.

Stefan manages a half grin. "It's not as bad as it looks," he jokes.

She wants to be angry with him for joking about this, but she's so relieved to see him that she just throws her arms around him. She catches Damon's eye from where he stands slightly behind Stefan, and her eyes fill with tears. "I was so worried about you," she says into Stefan's ear, but she holds Damon's gaze. His eyes soften and he cracks a little half grin, looks away from her.

"I'm fine," Stefan assures her. "Really."

"You are not fine," she scolds, wiping away a stray tear angrily. "You are not fine, Stefan."

"Yes I am," he insists. "We both are."

She hugs him again, and when she catches Damon's gaze this time, she's more tempted than ever to throw her arms around him, right here in the middle of the hallway, secrets and lies be damned. But before she can act on that impulse, he breaks her gaze, takes a deep breath, starts down the hallway.

"See you at practice, brother," he mumbles as he walks away.

She feels a stab of pain in her chest, but she turns to Stefan and sighs. "What the hell happened?"

He sighs, closes his eyes. He looks as though he's in pain. "It's not important," he says. "It's over. I'm fine, I promise."

"Listen to me." She takes his face gently in her hands so he has no choice but to meet her gaze. "You promised me you would come to me if it ever got bad again."

"I know," he says apologetically. "I'm sorry. But Damon and I…" he sighs. "We just didn't want you to worry. Everything's fine now."

"Do you really believe that?" she asks him, her voice quiet but stern.

"Yes," he says. "I promise you, Elena. If this happens again… I promise, I'll come to you."

Elena studies his eyes for a moment, lets out a long breath and steps away from him. "Okay," she relents. She sighs. "Let's just… go to history." She rarely feels thankful that her history teacher is also her guardian, but this is one of those moments. She knows Ric will know what to do.

… … …

For most of high school, Damon has relished the attention he gets at school. Girls staring at him longingly, guys glaring at him in jealousy - it doesn't really matter, but it's never bugged him before. Until today, when he wishes he could crawl into a hole and never come out. His neck looks gruesome. He knows it does. Saturday morning was a bitch, but now it looks worse than it feels. He contemplated stealing some of his mother's makeup to cover it up, but he wouldn't even know where to start with that, so he just sucked it up.

He's regretting that decision now, as he makes his way out to the football field for practice, where most of his teammates are staring at him. He knows people have been whispering about him all day - he and Stefan, actually - and that news of his injuries have no doubt made the rounds by now. He just sighs and ignores the stares as he heads toward the locker room to change.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he takes it out, sees a text from Elena. Meet me behind the fieldhouse. He smirks, walks into the fieldhouse and puts his stuff down next to his locker before he heads out the back door.

She's waiting there, her eyes worried and sad, and he melts just a little bit. "Hi."

"Hi," she breathes out, throwing her arms around him. She lets out a shaky breath, and he knows she's on the verge of tears. He runs his hand down her back soothingly. "I was so worried."

"I'm okay," he reminds her.

She pulls back, her eyes locked on the bruises on his neck. She runs her fingertips over them gently, and he stills under her touch. "Does it hurt?" she whispers.

"Not anymore," he assures her. "I promise. I'm fine."

She wraps her arms around his neck gingerly, and he pulls her close. "Is it really bad?" she asks, searching his eyes for his honest answer. "Do you need a place to stay?"

"We can handle it, Elena. It won't happen again."

"How can you be sure?"

She looks so distraught, and he notices the bags under her eyes, feels a pang of guilt for not returning her calls all weekend. Did she sleep at all? He thought he'd spare her the gory details, the drama. He didn't really consider what it might do to her. He pulls her closer, his arms around her waist, his forehead resting on hers. "I just am," he says quietly, confidently. "Don't worry, okay?"

She bites her lip, searches his eyes for another moment, and finally nods. He lets out a breath, kisses her gently. "I've gotta go to practice."

She nods again, pulling away from him. "Be careful," she insists.

He kisses her cheek. "I will."

He heads back into the locker room, reveling in how good it feels to have someone who cares about him, who worries about him like Elena does. He catches Enzo's eye as he approaches his locker, and he smirks at his friend. "It's looks worse than it feels."

"Jesus, bro." Enzo's face is pale and shocked. "Your dad…"

"Shh," Damon hisses. "It's fine. I'm fine. I can handle it."

Enzo watches him warily. "Look man, you know, if you ever…" he swallows.

"I know," Damon finishes for him, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "Thanks."

The last thing he wants is anyone's pity. He's not a charity case. He's been dealt a shitty hand, but he's got things to be grateful for. Like the fact that there are only six more months until he graduates and he can get the hell out of his house. He smirks. Yes, that's definitely something to be grateful for. Now he's just gotta play his ass off the rest of the season to make sure he's got somewhere to go when he leaves.

… … …

He's not sure when it happened, not sure when everything changed, but Stefan thinks that somehow over the last couple of months, he and Damon have called a truce. He doesn't know if he'd go so far as to say they're friends, but they're definitely not enemies anymore. He's grateful for that, especially now, when everything seems to be crumbling around them. At least, through all of this, they can stand united as brothers, support one another. If there's one thing he's learned from Elena, it's that when it's all said and done, there's nothing more important than the bond of family. He's never quite understood that the way he does now.

"You okay?" Elena asks, and he looks up from his history textbook, wondering how long she's been studying him.

He grins. "I'm fine," he insists. "How many times are you gonna ask me that before you believe me?"

It's Tuesday evening, and since they have a big history test the next morning, they figured they should probably study at least a little bit. They even tried to get Ric to help them study, and Stefan may or may not have played the sympathy card, but to no avail. The man is nothing if not stubborn.

She narrows her eyes at him. "You don't have to pretend with me, Stefan," she says quietly. "What's on your mind?"

He swallows, looks away from her for a moment. He doesn't even know where to start, really. "Things between Damon and I have been strange lately."

"Strange?" Her brow furrows in confusion. "I thought things have been going well."

"Yeah, that's the thing," he says. "We've hated each other for so long, and now it's like the world has flipped on its axis."

She rolls her eyes at him. "First of all, if you're getting along well with your brother, that means the world is right where it belongs. And second of all," she ducks down to catch his eye. "You never hated each other."

"I came pretty close to it," he argues.

"No you didn't," she scoffs. "You just didn't understand, and you were frustrated and hurt and angry. But I know you never hated him."

"It's like…" he sucks in a breath. "It's like, all this time, I thought it was Damon driving us apart, when it was really Dad." He furrows his brow in thought. "He wanted us to be at odds, wanted us to drift apart, so that he could have his influence on both of us without us teaming up against him."

It's something he realized after the big blow up in the living room last week. Giuseppe was stronger when Stefan and Damon weren't speaking, when he could control Damon's football career and bully Stefan without having to worry about interference from the other. But when he had Damon in a chokehold, and Stefan stepped up to fight back… he saw it. The flash of surprise in his father's eyes; surprise that came from a place of fear. Because if they're united against him, he can't use one of them to tear down the other anymore.

"I could see that," Elena acknowledges, nodding her head.

"I don't know what to do with that," Stefan admits quietly. "I don't know… I spent so long being angry…"

Elena sighs. "Stefan, if you want to make up with him, you're already most of the way there. You just need to flesh out all the bad stuff between the two of you and move on."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," he tells her.

"Okay, that's fine," she says. "It doesn't have to be this difficult, Stefan. Just… be his brother. That's what you both need right now."

And she's right. She's always right. Damon is his brother, and regardless of what's happened in the past, regardless of whether or not they'll ever be friends like they were before, they need each other right now. Maybe, he thinks ironically, whatever's tearing his family apart will eventually bring he and his brother back together.

… … …

After Stefan leaves that evening, Elena finds herself sitting on the swing on her front porch as the sun sets. She has so many memories on this swing; she and her mother used to sit out here on summer nights and look up at the stars. She wonders if, now, one of those stars might be her mother, shining down on her, watching over her. She's so very thankful to have had parents who loved her.

She can't stop thinking about Stefan, and Damon, and the way their parents have been treating them. Between last weekend when she couldn't reach them and this week after she found out what happened, she's basically worried herself sick. She can't keep this to herself anymore. She knows Stefan is trusting her, but this is not something she can handle on her own. This is a matter of Stefan's safety, and Damon's safety, for that matter. She needs someone to know.

"Hey, kiddo," Alaric greets quietly as he closes the front door behind him. He takes a seat beside her on the swing, studies her profile. "You okay?"

She sighs, feels her eyes well up with tears. "No."

"Oh, honey." Alaric sighs, puts his arm around her. She leans her head on his shoulder, lets the tears fall. "I know you're worried about them."

"I just can't…" she inhales a shaky breath. "I can't imagine what it must be like. To have to live with someone like that."

"You've been lucky," he murmurs. "You'll never have to find out. But they'll be okay."

"How do you know?"

Alaric lifts his head, turns to her, and she lifts her head to face him. "If I tell you something, it stays between us, okay?" Elena eyes him warily, nods her understanding, and Alaric sighs. "I filed a report with the school social worker on Monday."

She freezes. "What?"

"I had to," he reminds her. "I'm required by law to report any suspicions of child abuse. When I saw Stefan's black eye, and then Damon's bruises…" he looks at her. "I'm just looking out for them. I had to follow protocol."

Elena nods. "What's going to happen now?"

"I don't know," he admits. "I'm not sure. I've never had this happen before. But we're gonna keep them safe, okay?" He runs his hand along the back of her head soothingly. "The next time I see something like that… I can promise you, Elena, they won't be staying in that house anymore."

"The next time?" Elena pales.

"There won't be a next time," Alaric assures her. "Don't worry, okay? This will all be sorted out."

She trusts Ric. She really does. She just hopes he can keep his promises.

… … …

By Thursday morning, Stefan notices that the stares have died down quite a bit as the week has progressed. He still gets the odd sympathetic look, since his black eye is still healing, but he doubts any of those people who are apologizing with their eyes know the extent of the fucked-up Salvatore family saga. Family, he scoffs to himself. He doesn't even know what that word means anymore.

He's taking his time getting his things from his locker, attempting to wait as long as possible before he has to walk to class and face the student body, when she approaches him. He knows it's her. He doesn't know how he knows, but he just does, even before she speaks.

"Hi," she greets.

He doesn't look over at her. "How's Klaus?" he asks, disdain dripping from his voice. He's being transparent, and he doesn't even care.

She pauses a beat, scoffs. "How's Rebekah?"

Touché, he thinks bitterly. "What do you want, Caroline? I'm really not in the mood for your games today."

He finally looks up at her, just in time to see the hurt flash across her face, before it's replaced with a scowl. "Well, I was coming to check on you, make sure you're okay after… everything. But you're obviously fine."

Oh, so she knows. For some reason that strikes a nerve with him. "I'm not fine," he snaps. My family is being torn to shreds, he wants to say, but he bites his tongue. No need to let the whole school now how screwed up his life really is. "And why do you suddenly care? Do you and Klaus even come up for air long enough to pay attention to the world outside?"

She huffs out a breath, her mouth parted in disbelief. On any other day, he'd feel bad, but after the weekend he's had, after the semester he's had, he just doesn't care anymore. She closes her mouth, looks away from him for a second. When she turns back, her face has hardened again. "Listen, I practically threw myself at you and you barely blinked," she hisses. "Forgive me for moving on."

"Yeah, well, I practically told you I wanted to be with you and you ran in the other direction," he counters. "So forgive me for doing the same."

"Whatever, Stefan." She rolls her eyes, and then she's stomping down the hall away from him.

Barely blinked? Fuck, is that what she really thinks, that she had no effect on him whatsoever? She turned his world on its head, for God's sake. She made him question everything he thought was true, challenged him, intrigued him. She had him so twisted up he didn't know which way was up; hell, he could even argue that she still does. He gets that she's used to guys falling at her feet, but he never thought she was so oblivious she couldn't tell that he'd fallen head over heels for her. He tried to give her the respect of time to grieve, time to heal from her previous relationship, and she decided he wasn't worth waiting for.

Then he remembers what happened with Damon. How Stefan made assumptions about his brother, what he thought, how he felt, why he acted the way he did. How he wasted five years being angry and hurt, simply because he refused to see the other side of the coin. Is that what's happening here? Did he completely misread the situation? When he thinks about it that way, he can see her point. She told him she wanted him, and he turned her away. How must that have made her feel? He thought he was doing her a favor, thought he was giving her a courtesy that not many other guys would give her, but he pushed her away in the process. Pushed her right into Klaus' arms, if he's being truthful.

He's starting to realize that there's more to every situation that meets the eye; that there are two sides to every story, and he's too quick to trust his own interpretation without considering the other perspective.

Shit. His head is throbbing. How the hell is he supposed to focus on school with all these self-reflective thoughts bouncing around in his head? Introspection is exhausting.

… … …

Caroline feels like she's so mixed up these days, she hardly knows which way is up. She doesn't regret her decision - her arrangement with Klaus has been very, um, mutually satisfying - but some days she wonders if she's going about this all wrong, because Elena was right. She's mad at Stefan for moving on, and she's jealous that he chose someone else, which would be valid except she did the exact same thing. One could even argue that her decision to hook up with Klaus is the only reason Stefan moved on in the first place. She made her choice, and now she has to live with the consequences.

"How's Klaus?" Bonnie asks coyly at lunch on Thursday.

"Satisfied," Caroline smirks, laughing when her friends make faces at her in disgust. "What? You asked."

"Come on, Care," Bonnie insists. "When are you gonna stop hiding out with a guy you don't even like and admit that you have real feelings for Stefan?"

Caroline scowls. "Why are we still talking about this?" she snaps. "I made my choice. Whatever was going on between Stefan and I is over."

Elena rolls her eyes. "Yeah, okay."

Caroline glares at her. "You were the one who told me to live with my decision."

"I know," Elena nods. "But living with your decision and being in denial are two different things."

"I'm not in denial," she mutters. "Stefan's moved on. What I feel for him doesn't matter anymore."

"I swear to God, between the two of you…" Elena sighs in exasperation. "If you two would just admit that you like each other, all of this angst and uncertainty would go away."

"Look, I'm sorry that you're caught in the middle, okay?" Caroline says. "I know it's not easy for you. But you asked me to move on, and that's what I'm trying to do, so can you just let me do it?"

Her friends just stare at her for a moment before Bonnie shrugs and Elena sighs. Okay, one mission accomplished. Now to shift the attention to another very valid topic of discussion.

"So, Elena," she smirks. "How was your makeout session with Damon behind the fieldhouse yesterday?"

Elena sputters in surprise, and Caroline and Bonnie laugh. Mission accomplished.

… … …

For the first time all week, Damon doesn't dread coming home from practice, because he knows since it's Thursday, Giuseppe will be working late. Finally. He feels like he's been walking on eggshells all week, just trying not to set off another explosion. So far, he's been successful, but he knows it's just a matter of time.

What is strange, though, is that the house is eerily quiet when he walks in, and his mother's car isn't in the driveway. His brow furrows. He doesn't remember her saying anything about doing anything this afternoon, and she's almost always home after practice to make them dinner. "Mom?" he calls out, for some strange reason. He doesn't know why he thinks he'll get a response.

He climbs the stairs to his bedroom and sets his stuff down on the floor by the door. He almost walks right by without even noticing it, but as he's stripping his shirt off to head to the shower, he catches a glimpse of a piece of paper lying on his bed. He's almost certain it wasn't there this morning, and as he moves closer, he sees his name written in his mother's perfect cursive.

My darling Damon…

He honestly can't believe what he's reading. He doesn't know how he didn't see this coming, how he never thought that it would be a possibility. He's so in shock right now that he can hardly even process.

He hears his door open and looks up and into the eyes of his brother. "Did you…" he swallows. "Is she really…"

Damon nods, folds up his note, sets it on the bed beside him. "She's gone."

He locks eyes with Stefan again, and he knows that they're both thinking the exact same thing: things are about to get a whole lot worse.

… … …