What do people normally do around 3 Am? Well, the answer is simple most people are sound asleep around that time. But Gray wasn't. The ice-mage was forcing himself to stay awake and why did he do that? because he was scared of his dreams, well more specifically he was scared of the reality that his dreams showed him over and over again the reality that he wanted to forget forever.

Gray was completely exhausted of course he knew that this was a stupid idea but why would he admit that to himself if he was already denying the fact that he was raped to himself? Or at least he was desperately trying to do that. he wasn't just in pain he was broken and empty. the only feelings he had where sorrow, rage, and Disgust against himself.

But even when he was awake flashbacks haunted him. The image of those dirty hands around him and his nails pushing into his skin. The smell of his breath was everywhere and it made him wanna puke. He could even still feel the blood that was dripping between his legs. he knew it wasn't there anymore but it felt like it was. Sins the moment it happened he no longer felt like a human being, no he felt like a toy instead. And that was exactly how he was treated by him, playing with his body like he was a doll. He remembered every moan that he made while he screamed and every single movement that he made against his body and inside his body... depends on how you see it. "shit, Gray you're thinking too much stop it" But the pictures that were inside his head didn't go away. It made him go crazy.

The morning came and Gray knew that it was time that he showed his face at the guild. The ice mage entered the bathroom and he looked in the mirror and saw his empty eyes staring at himself. he hadn't left the house for over a week with the excuse that he had a cold and it showed he really needed to shave. He took a razor and some shaving creme and went carefully over his skin with the blade. and then he saw it again the images of what happened that night. Those dirty hands touching his hips and him begging for it to end he dropped the razor and fell on his knees and after al those sleepless nights he lost it. he screamed and started crying. "Dam it! fuck this just fuckk all of this" The ice mage looked at the floor and saw the razor that he dropped earlier. "Pain that's what I need. That's exactly what I want now"

He took the razor and pushed it against his skin. But it wasn't enough. "Ice-make blade" He made ma sharp blade of ice and pierced it against his skin and it felt so right the pain made him forget it he was so focused on hurting himself that he forgot everything for just a couple of minutes. he watched the blood fall from his arms and focused on the pain and for a short time, he felt at peace again. It was just long enough for him to get himself together. He took a bandage and wrapped it over his wounds not to heal them of course but to hide them. Now he could do it he could face the guild without falling apart he could pretend he was happy for another day.

Natsu was sitting at the bar in the guild waiting for some fun. With the ice-princes sick at home, it was boring here. he wanted to fight gray and tease hem our go on a mission with him. "Erza have you heard from Gray? He's been home for a whole week now" Erza turned around and gave Natsu a teasing look "Do you miss him that much?" Natsu hissed "Of course not I was just curious" The red haired mage gave him a soft smile "Don't worry everyone knows you two are secretly best friends" Natsu laughed when he heard that if only she new. He was secretly in love with the popsicle.

"If you really one know how gray is maybe you should pay him a visit," Ezra said. "Nah, he'll be fine" the doors opened and Natsu turned around and looked to see who It was. The moment he saw it was gray he couldn't help but smile a little to see him again. "Well look who is. Gray, it's been a while are you better?" Mira asked. "Yes, it was just a cold I'm fine now" Gray replied with a signature fake smile. "Hey princess fight me!" Natsu said while he interrupted the conversation. "Nice to see you too flame-brain" Natsu had a huge smile on his face he was all fired up now. "Come on fight me it's been a while" " Sorry, I'm a little tired I'm not completely healed yet.." "Scared to lose?" Natsu said before gray could even finish his sentence.

"Of course no Ice-make sword !" "Fire Dragon's Roar !" "Stop fighting you two idiots our I'll beat you both" The moment they saw Erza they both got close to each other and said "aii sir" in union it was a pretty funny sight. The only woman who was able to control those two would be Erza with her strong character and her power. Natsu started sniffing there was a weird smell in the air and he knew what it was but not from who it came from. " Did anyone come from a mission?" Natsu asked to Erza "No, why at leats not anyone who's here. why? "I smell blood. And it's pretty fresh" Gray's face turned white. Natsu sniffed around "The scent is close like really close." Natsu looked at Gray's arm and saw the bandage. "Gray it's you why didn't you say so" "Ow I forgot this happened I was bitten by a dog this morning" " Why did the dog bite you," Ezra asked "No idea some animal can't be controlled I guess"

The fairies talked and took a day of they all stayed at the guild and had some fun together. Lucy arrived a little later at the guild and started talking about her new novel. While Erza was giving Gray and Natsu lecture about not fighting every second. It was a pretty fun day and it started pretty well even for Gray but near the end of the day, he really needed to leave he felt it coming again that empty feeling and the pain in his chest. He couldn't fake any longer he needed to get out of the guild and hide in his bed" Lucy started to notice Gray's good behavior "Gray are you alright?" She asked. "Ow yea I'm just tired"

it wasn't a lie he hadn't slept in a while. "Hmm, you like kind of pale' lucy looked at him with her big chocolate brown eyes and gave him a worried look. she clearly didn't believe him. She remembered how weird everyone acted a couple of months ago. Everyone seemed to know something that she clearly wasn't allowed to know" It made her a little sad that Gray didn't seem to trust her at all. She made a sad face and looked the other way in the hope that no one saw. Gray realized that she was sad. "I'm sorry. It's just something complicated and I don't want to bother others with it. It's not like I don't trust you." "It's okay" lucy answered

Okay, i realized that I completely forget Lucy in this story... But I gave her a small role now. thanks for reading I hope the grammar wasn't too awful sorry for the short chapter next will be longer I promise! and sorry for the depressing beginning. But it will have a happy ending :). I know that there wasn't too much Graystu in this chapter but i don't want to force it too much. But they are the end game in this fic!