In the morning everything felt empty again. And the only thing that could fill the emptiness the ice mage felt was a small sharp blade. it may sound cliche but it's better to feel pain than nothing at all right? wrong it's not better, it's just less scary than nothing. At least you know that you're alive and not a total illusion. At least you know that you can still feel something. And when you reached the point where you think that you deserve pain. You actually think harming yourself is better. And that's the point where Gray was.

He watched while the blood dripped from his arms. Completely Satisfied Gray pulled his sleeve up again his arms were full of scars and fresh wounds. His stomach and abdomen were painted with dark red stripes pretty well too. with every movement he made he felt pain. After the cutting was done Gray took his diary and wrote every single feeling he had on a paper. letting everything go out of him was the only way for him to feel good enough to survive a day with everyone around him. "Well I guess now I'm ready to go the guild" With those words the mage ran off to his family. And for the first time his life he actually didn't want to be there.

Gray's notebook

"Maybe I can hide. Maybe I can disappear and no one would notice. I don't deserve it. Fairy Tail is a home better than any other. But I don't deserve to be there anymore. Because even after all the things we went through. One night was enough. one night was enough to change the place into a house instead of a home from me. There is no longer a home for me cause the word home lost its meaning. And I don't know why. People no longer feel safe. In my head, everyone is a thread. The only way I'm staying here is so no one can feel sad about me leaving"

Gray arrived at the guild and was Immediately greeted by everyone.

Most of them had no idea about how he felt. They were all fooled by an obviously fake smile. But some saw through him. Of course, Erza and Natsu they knew what happened. But it wasn't just them. Lucy and Mira and even Cana had noticed Gray's odd behavior. Gray put on his fake smile and ordered a drink. when he paid for his drink it was Mira who saw something she shouldn't have. Red and fresh scars were hidden right under his sleeve. "Gray, can I talk with you in private for a minute?" "euum, sure"

"Mira whats wrong you sound serious?" "Well, it's serious. Gray whats wrong with you? Why are so different lately" Gray looked surprised he didn't expect her to see through his acting. " Ow, I'm sorry to worry you I'm just a little down. but I'm gonna fix it." " "You're not just a little down Gray. From what I've seen it looks you're seriously depressed." "I'm fine Mira. I'm just having some issues but I'm handling it" Mira lost her patience. She took his wrist and pulled his sleeve down. "Is this handling your problems, Gray? If something happened to make you do this to yourself then you need help. We love you Gray and the last thing we want to see is you hurting yourself like this."

Natsu Looked with horror in his eyes at the scene. Mira and Gray standing at the bar with Gray's sleeve pulled down, revealing the self-inflicted wounds on the ice mages wrist. Gray noticed that their private conversation wasn't private anymore. he saw the eyes of the guild on him. Mira's words were louder than she thought and Gray knew that cause the look on her face made it clear that she didn't want to expose Gray like this. Ezra ran to Gray. "come with me for a little bit Gray let's talk about this." She looked calm and supportive but Gray knew better. She was scared she knew how to handle a fight but not this and she really wanted to handle this. She wanted to help Gray cause she was like his brother and she loved him a lot. Natsu was standing there and watching with the rest of the guild he didn't know what to do. Hug him? Yell at him? Hit him for being so stupid?

But before he could figure it out Gray had run away. The eyes of his shocked family hurt him too much and the whispers about him scared him too much he needed to get out of there so he could breathe again. So he ran. He ran as hard as he can to the river. He could Cry there, he could think there. Running wasn't a solution he was gonna have to face everyone. But for now, he needed to run.

The river was peaceful. Mira was telling the truth. He need help he couldn't do this alone. he was so sure he was strong enough to handle his feelings. But he wasn't he couldn't do it in. He thought he could shake it off and move one. But he couldn't. He needed help

Natsu, Erza, Mira, Lucy, and Cana were discussing what to do with Gray. They agreed that they needed to do something.

"I just don't get how this started if we knew why our how it got this far it could be easier to help him," Cana said "Well Natsu and I know why... but I don't know if it's okay to tell everyone," "Erza our friend is hurting himself why would you still keep it a secret ?" Cana shouted at the scarlet haired woman. "It's not as simple as you think! What happened it fucked up. And if Gray finds out anyone except us knew he would feel even worse. I'm sorry but right knows I don't want to risk that yet " Everyone was shocked no one would have expected that Natsu would say something like that. After that, there was a silence. A silence of million words.

Sadness can feel like a wall surrounding you. It locks you up and takes away your freedom. It's like a house you can't get out of but do you know whats worse? Depression instead of a wall you have a small cage. You can see everything outside of it while you know it's impossible to reach whats outside for you. When you're depressed your like a bird who sees the sky every day while it knows that it will never fly in there again. That's what Gray felt like. He saw a part of the world that he never wanted to see again a part that took his wings and stop him from flying. Now all he was was a boy who was blocked by fear.

The river a place full of good memories. But they weren't strong enough to help him with this. Nothing was. It was useless. He gave up after seeing the terror in his friend's eyes after they saw his cuts. He decided he was done the fighting. He didn't wanna hurt anyone so he made a plan to leave. If he left and ended things then maybe no one would find out he was gone. They would be sad but they be okay without him and after a while, they would forget him. He would be erased from there life's. would be just a memory.

"Gray !" Natsu yelled. "Maybe he's not home?" Or maybe he doesn't wanna talk. But he won't get away with hiding." Natsu said while he forced the door open."Gray where the hell are you?" Natsu went upstairs but found nothing. "Natsu ! I found something !" "What is it happy?" "A letter" Happy said with tears in his eyes. He's leaving us.

I'm sorry. I cant be here anymore I gotta go so can breathe again. you'll al better of without me. - Gray

Happy I'm packing my stuff. I'm going after him