Hello everybody! Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I apologise for not updating. To answer some questions, yes, I am aware that Ryo will be slightly out of character. Nowhere near as extreme as in Hating You, however. Speaking of Hating You, no, I'm not discontinuing it. I just don't really want to be bothered with it much anymore, so I'm trying to concentrate on new fanfics.

Stubborn Love
Squit Ayumin

Chapter 2

Ryo sighed and leaned back in his rather dingy seat, ready for the fashion show that awaited his review. He didn't even know why he was writing this review. He was supposed to review the person who was supposed to write this review. However, as it turned out, that person had been fired several days ago, and being the person that he was, he had offered to take the role for the night. Everybody believed it was his kindness or dedication that drove him to do this, but in reality, it was nowhere as noble.

Today was the day of Mayuko's and his planned wedding. The thought of going to the home he had once shared with her was too depressing for him to even think about.

Yet, he had been surprisingly stable most of the day. As this day slowly approached, he had expected himself to be an emotional wreck, but he had only cried twice and they were both in private. His mind had drifted off only half a dozen times during the two meetings he had that day, and he actually had the will power not to knock out the people who felt fit to discuss relationship stories as if he were perfectly comfortable talking about his emotional pains with other people.

Ryo took out the papers and files he had taken from the person who was supposed to originally write this review and examined it. She hadn't left any instructions, so he was left to decipher the format of his first fashion review by himself. He'd be the first to admit that he was extremely underqualified for the job. Mayuko had done all his shopping in the six years they lived with each other, and besides the occasional flip through one of her magazines out of sheer boredom, he wasn't very interested in fashion.

"Blimey, these blasted seats could be a bit smaller!" cried a rather obese man as he settled in the chair to the right of Ryo's. The man turned his head to Ryo, ready to strike a conversation. "Lucky you! You're nothing but bones, mate!"

Ryo was slightly offended, as he did not consider himself to have an obscenely small figure. In fact, he could have sworn he gained weight since the break-up. His visits to the gym were nonexistent, and he couldn't remember the last time he voluntarily exercised.

"Thanks," Ryo responded anyway.

"Are you one of those male models?"

Ryo's humiliation level increased a good twenty percent. He had seen the male models before, and he was at least twice their size. "No, actually, I'm not."

"Coulda fooled me." The man took two glasses of complimentary champagne and handed one to Ryo. "There ya go, mate. Got to get the wife good and mad for a few days by coming home drunk, yer know?"

Ryo gave his seating ticket another close examination to make sure he was in the correct seat.

He was.

"Can't be arsed with that excuse for a wife." The man drank the entire glass of champagne in a single gulp. "You look pretty young, but have you got yourself a wife?"

Oh, the irony.

"No, I'm single."

"Good! Don't ever get married!"

"I'll keep it in mind," Ryo replied, looking awkwardly to his left at the blank seats. He took a sip of the champagne, hoping that perhaps his tolerance with give out and he would get instantly drunk.

"Wives are nothing but a frumpy lot who do nothing but fuss and nag!" The man waved his hand in the air, motioning for the waiter to bring him another glass of champagne. He looked at Ryo and pointed at his glass. "You going to drink that, mate?"

"Oh, no, go ahead." Ryo handed his glass to the man.

"Thanks, mate." The man quickly drank it, took two more glasses from the waiter, gave one to Ryo, and drank the last one quickly. "Damn, this is some good champagne. Name's Humphrey, by the way. Humphrey Matsumoto."

"Ryo Akiyama."

Humphrey's beady eyes expanded. "Hey, you aren't the bloke the Aoki girl was going to marry, are you?"

Ryo's disinterest in the conversation immediately disappeared. Humphrey didn't even wait for Ryo's response, which was quite fine with him.

"Goddamn! You're the guy?" Humphrey slapped his forehead. "The girl came over to my place yesterday, crying about you. She was supposed to be in this show, yer know."

"She was?" Ryo subconsciously drained half his glass and turned his full attention to Humphrey, waiting for any sort of details as to where she was. After the break-up, Mayuko and Ryo had lost contact with each other. Although they both had each others' mobile numbers, he dared not to ring her up. Ryo had no idea where she lived now, and while she knew where he lived, she never came by. He took this as a sign that she did not want anything to do with him anymore. "Where is she now?"

"Went back to Kyushu last night, I think. She wanted to 'be with her family to ease her heartache' or some rubbish like that." Humphrey rolled his eyes. "Good thing you two didn't get married. Seemed like a whingy girl."

Ryo ignored his insult. Mayuko missed him! For the past two months, he had painfully accepted that Mayuko had moved on without him, happily seeing other men and even dating them. Ryo couldn't even bear to talk to other women without feeling like he was cheating on her. The only women he had talked to were his early-thirty-something-year-old assistant and his mid-thirty-something-year-old vice president. Even he couldn't bring himself to believe that talking about the increasing number of accounting majors in universities could be classified as flirting.

"What exactly did she say about me?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It wasn't like I was pressing my ear against my daughter's door or anything. Oh, my daughter! Want to see pictures of her? She's a lovely girl." Without waiting for Ryo's response, he took out a wallet and thrust the leather at Ryo, pointing to a pretty blonde girl who was hard to imagine as the daughter of Humphrey, smiling widely. "Turnin' twenty-five in a fortnight. They grow up so fast, yer know?"

Ryo, being twenty-six, felt more obliged to share his daughter's feelings of turning twenty-five than sharing Humphrey's feelings of having a daughter turning twenty-five.

"Yes, they do," Ryo agreed.

"Anyway," Humphrey closed his wallet and put it back into his pocket, "she didn't say anything bad about you, if that's what you're thinking. She was blubbering on, but I don't think she was crying about anything you did."

"Oh," Ryo acknowledged happily, pleased that Mayuko missed him still. His joy faded slightly to imagine Mayuko crying over him. He was allowed to do that, not her. "Is she okay? Do you know?"

"How the bloody hell would I know?" Humphrey bellowed. "I was having a goddamn row with my wife!"

Ryo was thankful that at the exact time everybody turned to see where the commotion was coming from, the lights dimmed to announce the beginning of the show. He relaxed in his chair as the music began to play, somewhat content. On one hand, he knew Mayuko still had feelings for him. On the other hand, she was miserable. The question was whether she was miserable that she had let him go or that she still had feelings for him. He hoped desperately it was the first. Then again, she never really believed in refgrets.

He wanted to sit and argue with himself for the rest of the show but suddenly remembered the review and looked up at the catwalk, waiting for the models to come out, wondering if it would be obvious if the clothes were fashionable or not. He had been to several shows to watch Mayuko, but that was all that he did. Watch Mayuko.

The introduction was interesting, with models doing complicated walking routines that made Ryo wonder how they were living; they were so thin.

Ryo began to number a sheet of paper to signify the order in which the models came out and decided to make notes from there. He still had no idea what he was doing. What he would do for his assistant at that moment. God knew she was the only reason he hadn't been relieved of his career by now.

"Do you want me to escort you?" His assistant, never the one to trust him with anything, began to organise his papers in the order they would need to be completed.

Ryo took the papers from his desk and shoved them all in a briefcase. "Arisa, I'm not going to make you work after hours just because you think I can't handle a bit of extra work."

"It's an awful lot, Mr Akiyama." Arisa looked at his briefcase, appalled. "I honestly wouldn't mind at all. Perhaps I could organise or—"

"Don't worry about it." Ryo took his briefcase and jacket and began for the door. "A little extra work is just what I need today to get my mind off things."

"Are you positive? I noticed you were—pardon me saying so—preoccupied today."

"Of course I'm positive. Why would I force work upon myself when I know I wouldn't be able to handle it?"

How he wished now that he would have asked her to come.

"Blimey, that bird's hot!"

Ryo looked at Humphrey, who was gawking at the models. Rolling his eyes, Ryo continued to number his paper before realising that he was missing the first ensemble. He instantly looked at the catwalk, seeing that the model had already turned around, leaving Ryo to guess the front of her outfit. From the back, she looked an awful lot like Mayuko. Then again, everybody looked like Mayuko these days. He looked at his paper, wondering what sort of review he would put for it.

"Was that Aoki?"

Ryo's head instantly did a double take at the model, who was now disappearing into the curtains. "No, Mayuko's brunette. That girl had red hair."

"Looked a whole lot like her though. Thought I saw Aoki with some highlights yesterday too. Maybe I'm wrong." Humphrey shrugged.

Ryo's heart began to beat faster. Maybe it was her. He hadn't seen her in nearly two months, and who knew what sort of transformation she had gone through. She was constantly changing the colour of her hair with dye jobs.

From that point on, he paid careful attention to the show, hoping she would come out once more.

Ryo looked at his notes, wondering what a fashion review had anything to do with hotels. Nevertheless, he was rather pleased with his work. He had remained alert to see if she would come back out again, but she never did. It was almost inevitable that Arisa would take one look and "revise" it, which meant she would rewrite the entire thing.

That was fine with him, as it would save him the embarrassment of being ridiculed for poor work.

"Hey! Akiyama!"

Humphrey, who had been following him since the fashion show ended, slapped his large hand on Ryo's shoulder and handed him another glass of champagne. Ryo held it, pointing it towards Humphrey, who was going to take it in a frew minutes anyway. He was on the lookout for Mayuko, who he had yet to see at the afterparty.

"Some afterparty, huh?"

"Yeah," Ryo agreed, looking at every girl with red or brown hair. Perhaps it was just his excessive hope and Humphrey's drunkenness that got him to believe he had seen Mayuko. Why would Mayuko work if she were truly sad? Unlike Ryo, who liked piling work stress to force himself to forget about personal stress, Mayuko was the type of person who would sulk at home, accepting console from friends, family and, when a part of her life, him.

Deciding to keep the champagne for himself, Ryo drank it down, not really caring if everybody thought he was as naff as Humphrey.

"Want?"

Ryo turned slightly to see Humphrey sticking a cigar at him. "Oh, no, I don't smo—"

And behind the cigar, he saw her. Mayuko. Right there. Laughing and holding champagne as if she hadn't a care in the world.

Indeed, her hair was dyed a glorious shade of auburn. It looked striking on her, despite his secret, childish hatred for redheads. His best mate had deep red hair and had always been more popular in school than he had been. He even once considered dying his own hair the same shade as his best friend's before his mother found out and threatened his life.

"Ey, it's Aoki!" Humphrey announced, who had followed Ryo's stare. "Go say hi to her!"

Ryo's excitement was quickly engulfed in sadness. She was laughing. What sort of sad person laughed?

"Go say hi to her, Akiyama!"

Ryo felt a hard blow on the shoulder as Humphrey pushed him towards Mayuko. Staggering, he tried to gather his courage to greet her.

They had spent nearly seven years together, so there was no excuse for them not to be friends after a failed engagement. He shouldn't even be nervous! It was Mayuko!

Finally, he cleared his throat and tapped Mayuko on the shoulder.

Mayuko turned around, and Ryo saw immediately that… she wasn't Mayuko. Not only was the hair colour different, but so were her eyes, an icy amethyst colour not even contact lenses could duplicate.

"Yes?"

Yet, she looked so much like her.

The girl blinked, looking at Ryo as if he were the weirdest being on the planet. "May I help you?"

Despite her choice of words, she spoke in a tone that was anything but polite.

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were somebody else." Ryo bowed apologetically, turning to walk away to sulk in his own humiliation.

"No luck, eh?" Humphrey asked as Ryo approached him once more. "Here, have some champagne. It's free."

Thirty minutes later, Ryo was feeling quite reenergised and a lot merrier, completely due to the alcohol now present in his system. His will power was gone, and although he had sworn himself no alcohol that day, he couldn't stop taking the glasses the waiters pushed at him. With each glass, he would tell himself it would be his last one, but no sooner had he drunk it did a waiter offer him another. It's just champagne, he would tell himself as he slowly but surely got more and more drunk.

This was the first time he had ever gotten drunk in the eye of the posh public. Luckily, he had gained a lot of tolerance over the years and his state wasn't too horrible. He could still talk without slurring and walk in a straight line. But what he would do to see the faces of his father and Arisa watching him at a drunken state in the middle of this party, all alone as Humphrey had left for a pub not too long ago. Even slightly tipsiness drove his father and Arisa to the point of insanity, as neither trusted him. His father would claim him as a public embarrassment, and Arisa would try to drag him out of the party immediately and scold him like a mother about how he was better than that. The thought was laughable, so he laughed to himself before picking up a quiche and popping it in his mouth. He washed it down with a drink of champagne, a fantastic combination.

He looked up to see the Mayuko look-alike emerge from the washroom. God, she was beautiful.

Or perhaps she was not. He couldn't remember how she differed from Mayuko, nor could he see her face from the buffet line, but he knew for a fact that Mayuko was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, and this girl looked like her; therefore, she must be beautiful.

He let out a loud wolf whistle, something he had not done since he was an immature teenager.

Unsurprisingly, the girl did not take it as a compliment. She gave him a dirty look before walking away, obviously not impressed with his childish approach.

Shrugging it off, he took another quiche and ate it. He was getting slightly nauseous from all the food and alcohol entering his body, but the taste overpowered the after-effect.

His eyes followed the Mayuko look-alike, still intrigued at the similarities. When she had turned to give him a dirty look, he saw she could pass for Mayuko's twin. Hair, eye and skin colour aside, the biggest difference Ryo noticed was the vibe Mayuko possessed this girl lacked. Mayuko was energetic and bubbly, giving her an approachable aura Ryo had always admired. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't replicate the same presence. Everybody always told him he seemed uptight even when he wasn't.

The Mayuko look-alike joined her friends and began to talk to them again. Ryo wished he had friends with him so he wouldn't feel like such a loser eating his weight in quiches. Plus, this was the first time Ryo had been interested in another girl since he was eighteen. Of course, it was only because she reminded him so much of Mayuko, but he was interested nevertheless.

Today was supposed to be the happiest of his life, but it had been destroyed two months ago. Now that it came, he wasn't at home feeling sorry for himself but at a party, checking out a girl. He was checking out a girl without feeling like he was cheating on his ex-fiancée, who probably had moved on. He didn't care what Humphrey said. He knew Mayuko for nearly seven years and if there was one thing he knew about her, it was her ability to drown out the bad and emphasise the good. While he was sulking and depressed, she was probably making this new chapter of her life as exciting as humanly possible. If she saw that he was miserable, she would be crushed he was in pain because of her. If she were in his presence, she would surely urge him to move on and be happy once again.

It was fate, and he was going to take it. He took another quiche and drank the rest of champagne before gathering the courage to approach her. He highly doubted he still possessed the charisma he once had, but if he was lucky enough to have Mayuko for seven years, he must have something.

Four minutes later, Ryo was sitting in his car, adjusting the time to match the exact time of his mobile phone. He found the car timing to be off slightly by several seconds, and not really feeling like taking the forty-minute drive home, he was doing everything he could to hold that off.

He had chickened out with the girl. He had walked over and stared for a bit before her friend noticed and informed her. He then looked away and proceeded to walk straight out the door and to his car.

And that was that.

Wondering if he was the biggest loser in the world, he started his car and drove out of the car park.

When he reached his home, he finally felt the wave of depression he had been waiting for all day. It started merely by him looking at the walls. They were white. Mayuko had planned to paint them, and they had gotten into an argument over it. He wanted to keep them as they were; she wanted them blue. If he could go back, he would've just let her paint them.

He slumped further into his apartment and saw the dining table to his left. Mayuko had picked it out. Behind the dining table was the kitchen, which didn't have any food in it. He didn't ever feel like going grocery shopping anymore. He knew he had water though, since that was his breakfast every morning. On the other side of the dining room was his large lounge. It was definitely his favourite room in the flat. The black leather couches were of Mayuko's picking. So was the table in the centre. The huge plasma television—he was proud to say—was chosen by him, even though he rarely turned it on other than to watch the news. To the right were his walk-in wardrobes, and past that was the bathroom. In front was the bedroom. Mayuko had picked the ¥155,000 Egyptian cotton sheets, claiming his old spread was not "comfortable" enough.

He threw everything in the direction of the dining room before regretting the mess. He was obsessively clean, so he went back and picked up his belongings and set them on some drawers in his bedroom. As he took of his suit jacket, he scanned his flat. He could use more doors. Mayuko felt as if doors were unnecessary, so she had taken them all down except the ones for the wardrobes, bathroom and the front door. He had no preference back then, but he wondered how it would be to have an actual door to hide his bedroom.

He left his door-less bedroom and went towards the wardrobes. Mayuko's closet—the right one—now housed his casual clothing, which was essentially nothing. The left contained his work clothes.

He examined the flat once again as he slowly began to unbutton his shirt. The flat didn't feel like home, even though he had lived there for nearly six years. Mayuko had renovated their flat to fit her carefree personality and his sophistication. It wasn't his flat; it was theirs.

First thing Sunday, he would try and redecorate the flat. He would change the sheets back to his old ones. He would hire people to install doors.

He opened a small container on his bed stand and took out two tablets—his sleeping pills. He just wanted the day to be over.

Random fact about Chapter 2: In the Japanese version, Humphrey has a Hakata dialect.