A/N: Definition of Stubborn - The determination not to change one's attitude or position on a particular matter.
I think that is a fair description of Bella throughout most of this story, and also in this chapter. Don't hate her, though. She's been through a lot.
Anyway, here is your next chapter, where Bella ties up loose ends in order to move back to Forks with Cameron.
A very big thank you to Sassy, who's always willing to help with the brainstorming. Her ideas are a big part of the story, and she unwaveringly helps guide me to where I want to get in the story, either with her suggestions, or simply by listening to what I have planned.
Disclaimer: Twilight and all its recognizable characters belong to the brilliant Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
Song to listen to: Machine gun Kelly ft. Hailee Steinfeld - At my best (wait for it...)
Chapter 4 – On to the next
School was still in when Bella arrived at Jacksonville High, the low hum of students bleeding through the classroom doors as her footsteps echoed in the vast, but empty corridors. Walking through these halls brought back painful memories that she'd rather have avoided. And no matter how many parent-teacher meetings she'd attended since Cameron had started high school, she still couldn't get used to it. Walking these halls in her senior year of high school had been torture. She had been looked at like she was a leper, and had been called every rotten (and sometimes even downright abhorrent) name in the book, by the popular kids - the ones whose pictures hung in the trophy cases, either for cheerleading or sports. 'Always the same pictures, just never the same faces', she thought as she walked past the shining cabinets that showcased the school's sporting achievements. But one thing she'd remember even better than the teasing, was walking out of this school on her last day. It had been the best feeling by far to know that she was leaving these small-minded people behind - people whose tiny worlds revolved around clothes, make-up and parties. She was finally done with these mean, judgmental people for good. Out in the real world, she could start over. Start fresh, with no reputation following her around like a shadow. And that was exactly what she'd done.
The school secretary, a sweet old woman named Mrs. Kelly, was still here after all these years. Practically part of the furniture - Bella would bet anything that they'd erect a statue in memory of her if she passed away one day. She had been one of the very few people who had been supportive and helpful to her when her days were pretty dark in this place, and if it weren't for this old woman, she would have lost her mind on more than one occasion. Bella had shared her story with Mrs. Kelly back then, and coming here today to tell her they were moving back to Forks, seemed to make this woman very happy. She said that Cameron deserved to get to know his father, and that Bella also deserved to be happy. But Bella had decided to omit the part where she felt unsure about going back - unsure for herself and what it would mean, but not unsure for Cameron's sake. This was the best thing that could happen for her son. He needed this.
Mrs. Kelly was really helpful, making quick work of the task itself, and after a short ten minutes, she gave Bella a letter for the head master of La Push High School. "You take care of that beautiful boy of yours," Mrs. Kelly spoke into her hair as she gave Bella a fierce hug and patted her back. She pulled away to look at Bella, her kind brown eyes crinkling at the corners. Her weathered hands squeezed Bella's shoulders, red lips turning upward. "And I wish you all of the best. I hope you find yourself a good man, and that you make a success of yourself back there. I know it's a small town, but it doesn't mean the end of the road for your career."
"Thank you." Bella smiled genuinely and pulled the woman in for another hug. "For everything." She swallowed the tears that suddenly threatened, knowing she'd miss the easy, but very personal conversations they've had over the years.
Her boss was taken by surprised when she had walked into the dark-haired force of nature's office, and announced that she was quitting. Asked Bella if there was anything she could do to persuade her to stay. Even offered to give her a raise. But she understood when Bella explained that they were moving away for personal reasons, and that it wasn't because she was unhappy at the company. They were the reason she was able to provide for Cameron, and she was going to miss her job very much. The position that she was going to fill, or hoped she was, was completely different than what she had done here. She was going to be a secretary for Jake, and already knew she wasn't going to find it challenging enough. But in a small town like Forks, she couldn't afford to be picky. She had to take what she could get, or have no job at all.
Dropping by to speak to her landlord, or rather, soon-to-be-ex landlord, was the last stop on Bella's list, before she could finally head home with Cameron and Sam. Not that the visit promised any time to sit back and relax.
The landlord was very understanding, waving away Bella's offer to pay for the next month's rent because of her short notice, and said that she had to follow her heart. That a change would be good for them. Bella had been renting this place from the the old man since she had finished college, and Mr. Berry had started to feel like family to her. He said that he was going to sell the place now that she was moving out. He lost his wife a long time ago and his children lived far away from him. "It's very lonely here," He explained. "And I'm getting too old. I'm thinking of moving to Massachusetts to stay with my son and his family. I'll be able to spend more time with my grandchildren."
"I wish you all of the best, Mr. Berry." She gave his hand a small squeeze. "Enjoy the grandchildren. And be sure to spoil them rotten."
"Good luck, Kid." He walked her to the front door and pulled her in for a sideways hug. "Hope you find everything you're looking for."
What was it that she was looking for? She didn't even know. All she wanted now, was to get settled in and start her life in Forks. She hated being so unsure of herself, and maybe once Cameron and she moved into Alison's house, things would start to settle down, and she could get her shit together.
Despite the gnawing anxiety inside of her at facing the unknown, a sense of relief washed over her as she realized she had gotten around to doing everything she had needed to. She'd tied up all the loose ends, and could finally move on.
Sam and Cameron were waiting patiently in the car for her as she walked over to them, engine running to keep the aircon going. The sweltering heat of Florida was something she was going to miss a lot. She hated the almost constant rain and overcast days that Forks offered, yet another reason why she didn't want to go and live in Forks. But, once again, she reminded herself that this was what Cameron wanted. It wasn't about her. And she'd do anything for her son.
The men had been easy on her today, not complaining even once about all the waiting around they had to do. Sam and Cameron were so much alike in that sense, never impatient. Never quick to get angry or irritated, unless you messed with their family and friends.
"Done," She said and shut the car door, buckling up. She looked over at Sam, and to the back, where Cameron was busy typing away on his phone. "Now we can finally go to Grandma's."
"What did your landlord say about the extra month's rent, to make up for the short notice?" Sam wanted to know as he pulled away from the curb, heading into the early afternoon traffic.
"He was having none of it." She said, still surprised by his generosity. "He's going to sell the place and move to Massachusetts, to be with his family."
"So all in all, everything went well today. No hiccups." He pointed out.
"Yeah," She smiled up at Sam as it dawned on her that he was right. Luck had well and truly been in her corner. "Guess you're right." What did bother her, was the fact that everything fell into place so easily, that it almost made her think she had definitely made the right choice to move back to Forks. Like it was fate. And she didn't like it. She still wanted to kick against the idea as much as she could, though she knew it would benefit Cameron to have a father in his life. And he was the only reason she was doing this.
"Is there anything else I should know before we get to your mother's house?" Sam asked, eyes trained on the road as he weaved effortlessly through traffic.
Cameron leaned forward, placing his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Just the cooking." He said gravely. "Be weary of anything she didn't buy ready-made. And even then, there is still the risk of her adding her own touch to it."
"Nothing else?" He briefly glanced at Bella.
"She's very forward." Bella added. "Says exactly what's on her mind. She has no brain-to-mouth filter, and sometimes she can be really inappropriate." Sam nodded, like he was absorbing and processing this information. "So, if you can handle that, there should be no other surprises. Unless my mom has taken up some weird new hobby in the last couple of days. Something I don't know about yet."
"Take a left at the next stop." Cameron gave his father instruction to their house as they headed into their neighborhood, where they'd be meeting Renée and Phil, who had started packing for them already. "And then a right at the second street, just after you pass that tree." He pointed to the Mimosa tree on the corner, just before the turn-off.
"Please help me remember to leave the spare key for the house with Renée. She's going to drop it off at Mr. Berry's for me, on Monday."
"Then take it out now, and give it to Grandma as soon as we get there. Because there's no way we're flying back just for a spare key." Cameron said, leaning forward in his seat excitedly. He was so completely sold on the idea of Forks, that it boggled her mind. He wasn't apprehensive to start at a new school on Monday, or weary of a new town and new people, and she envied his easygoing personality. She wished she could be so calm about everything.
When Sam parked the car in the driveway to her house, next to Phil's brand new sedan - a small, two story wooden house with a sloping roof on one side, light brown lower half and dark brown wood at the top story - a sense of sadness gripped her and made her swallow at the lump that had lodged firmly in the back of her throat. They'd been through so much in this house. So many Christmases, birthdays and Halloweens. This had been their home for so long, that it felt incredibly sad to leave it behind. For a place like Forks.
"Oh dear god, you are even more attractive in real life." Her mom said by way of greeting and fanned herself as soon as she opened the door and laid eyes on Sam. "I'm Renée, Bella's mother." She stuck out her hand to him.
Bella wanted to roll her eyes at her mom, but all in all, she hadn't expected anything less. And yes, Sam was a very attractive man. About that, Renée was one hundred percent correct.
"Nice to meet you," Sam chuckled at her mother's blatant disregard for social propriety (to be fair, Bella had warned him beforehand), and grabbed the hand she offered. "Sam Uley." He shook her hand and moved on to Phil. They seemed to click relatively well, already striking up a conversation.
"Hey, Cammie," Renée pulled Cameron into her side and stretched up on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. "You excited to move to Forks?" She asked and pulled him inside with her.
"Very excited," He grinned and wiped the lipstick from his cheek, looking a little embarrassed at being kissed and cuddled in front of his dad.
"So, we've started in the living room and kitchen." Her mother she said as Bella stepped inside, followed closely by Sam. "I think that's where most of the work is. But as you can see, we've made quite some progress so far."
Except for the couches, covered in sheets now, and a few photos and portraits on the wall, there really wasn't much else left in the living room. She couldn't believe that it was so easy to clear up a place that had been Cameron's and her safe place for so long. But it seemed that he wasn't as sentimental, because he walked from room to room with a massive grin on his face, checking out the progress his grandmother and Phil had made. She knew he was excited at the prospect of moving onto newer things. Starting a life with Sam in it. And more than anything, she also knew he had always craved a father, a family even. This would do him good. He'd be able to make friends that were like him – born from wolves – larger than the normal kids. Cameron had been an outcast of sorts in school, because they could tell he was different somehow, even if they couldn't exactly figure out why, and she was happy that he'd fit in at La Push much easier.
"Oh," Bella fished the key out of her pocket as she watched the three men disappear upstairs. "Before I forget," She handed the keys over to Renée. "The spare." She had taken the spare key along to Forks, leaving her mother the original set of keys, just for in case they needed to get into her garage for some reason.
"I'll drop it off first thing Monday morning, before my yoga class." Her mother said and stowed it in the pocket of her jeans. "Want to come up and see the rest of the progress?"
Dinner with Renée and Phil was nothing out of the ordinary for Cameron and Bella. Phil tended to spoil them with his cooking, a lot, and today was no different. In the middle of the table sat a large chicken, and around it were a few side dishes that included Cameron's favorite - roast potatoes and snap peas.
Sam looked very impressed by the spread before him, and since they hadn't really gotten around to eating today - spending most of their time on the road, or packing up her place - she knew he'd be super hungry. Thank god Phil had made more than enough food, despite not knowing about Sam's ridiculous appetite.
Phil did the honors of cutting up the chicken with enviable skill, while Sam and Cameron looked like they were ready to start drooling at any second. Her stepfather seemed to notice this, and with an amused chuckle, he encouraged them to start dishing up.
Bella and Renée sat back, waiting for the men finish, and though she knew she was hungry and should eat, her appetite was surprisingly absent. There was too much whirling around in her head, and the apprehension that had lodged itself securely in the pit of her stomach, left no space for food.
She dished up a small helping for herself once the others were done, trying to be polite, even though she knew she wouldn't be able to eat, and sat back watching Sam as he dug into his food with gusto. He wasn't hesitant as he shoveled fork after forkful of food into his mouth - Cameron and she had assured him before hand that it was safe to consume Phil's food.
Conversation flowed easily around the table, Phil telling Sam about his minor league baseball career, and the places they've traveled to for his sport. Cameron and Renee joined in from time to time, and no one seemed to notice that she was simply pushing her food around on her plate. Until Sam looked at her from across the table, raising a questioning brow.
She simply shrugged, trying on a pathetic smile in an attempt to appease Sam, and that seemed to be enough for him. She knew he'd understand. She'd always been a poor eater when she had something on her mind. And right now, there was much more on her mind than she cared to admit.
When the time for desert came around, Renée huffed with displeasure as everyone refused a helping of the sticky toffee pudding that she had prepared. Phil was taken aback by the fact that she had been sneaky enough to make a dessert without his knowledge, because Bella knew if he had known, he would have chased her out of the kitchen without a second though. Her mother even tried her best to convince them that she had followed the recipe to the tee this time, in honor of their guest, instead of experimenting like she usually did.
Bella had to admit that the pudding looked really good (and smelled even better), but like she had learned on way too many occasions to count, looks could be deceiving where Renée Dwyer was concerned. She remembered the saying, 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' After too many failed desserts, she had learned her lesson, and watched as Sam shuffled uncomfortably in his seat . Despite spending seventeen years apart, she still knew the look he had on his face right now. He felt guilty for saying no to Renée. And she had a feeling that he would have some of the dessert just to be polite.
And she was right.
Sam gave in eventually, simply because he was too well mannered, and probably felt a little bad for her mother, but when he took the first careful bite, swallowing with difficulty, Bella had to stop herself from laughing. She looked over at Cameron, and saw him hiding his smile behind his hand. It was comical to see Sam struggle. The expression on his face was blank - he knew how to hide his feelings - but his body language told her everything she needed to know. Body stiff and upright, avoiding everyone's eyes, Sam finished his desert, despite being warned thoroughly by Cameron and her. He had started out by chewing slowly, but he'd probably realized the faster he ate, the faster he'd be rid of whatever concoction her mother had managed to produce.
Bella was impressed that he had managed to choke down every single piece of the sticky toffee disaster on his plate. It took a really strong stomach to handle her mother's food. And even though he'd been warned, she felt deeply sorry for him. Allison had obviously taught him manners, and had it not been for that, he wouldn't have had to ingest the dessert in the first place.
"Want some more, Sam?" Renée asked, ready to ladle another helping onto his plate. "Oh, no thank you, Mrs. Dwyer." He declined as politely but as vehemently as he could, looking a little panic-stricken. "I'm stuffed."
"See," Renée narrowed her eyes at the rest of the occupants seated around the table. "I do know how to make a dessert. Sam enjoyed it very much, didn't you?" She smiled sweetly at him.
"Delicious," Sam lied through his teeth as he rinsed his mouth with the water standing next to his plate.
"Yeah, I could tell." Cameron grinned at his father, and Bella couldn't help but chuckle at her son's sarcasm.
While doing the dishes with Renée, Bella made a mental note to ask Sam about the dessert later, when they were alone. She was extremely curious to find out what had gone wrong with her mother's concoction this time. There was always something, she just wasn't sure what it was this time, since her mom had been adamant that she hadn't strayed from the recipe.
Later that evening, when everyone was asleep already, Bella and Sam sat on the porch outside, enjoying the cool air that drifted in from the sea, providing much needed relief from the day's heat, waves crashing gently against the shore.
The salty air made her relax. It was just one more thing she was going to miss about Jacksonville. Sure, La Push had First Beach, but it was different. The water was much colder and tempestuous on First Beach, than here. And what was the point of going to the beach when it was raining or overcast? The few days here and there in the summer that it didn't actually rain, were the only times that you could even attempt to spend the day swimming and making a proper bonfire.
Phil and her mother had surprised her today with their easy-going nature. It would have been easy to hold a grudge against Sam for not being a part of Cameron's and her life for the last seventeen years, despite knowing that he wasn't to blame for it. Despite knowing that he had no idea that he'd gotten Bella pregnant. They hadn't judged Sam once, or even confronted him about it, and for that she was mighty grateful. The things that had gone wrong in the past were between Sam and her, and Cameron for that matter, and it was their own battle to fight. Their own hurdles to overcome. Not that Cameron resented Sam in any way, shape or form. He understood better than she did. Forgave so easily. But she wondered what would happen if he came face to face with Emily. She didn't raise Cameron to be rude or mean, but she had a feeling that he wasn't going to tolerate Emily and her missteps so easily.
"How was the pudding?" Bella remembered that she still hadn't asked Sam about it.
Sam chuckled, and looked a bit embarrassed. "It was pretty bad." He shook his head. "It looked and smelled really good. And even with my enhanced sense of smell, I couldn't pick up on anything suspicious. Until I tasted it." He winked casually at her. "But to be fair, you and Cameron did warn me."
"Why'd you try it then?" She challenged, although she already knew the answer.
"Because your mom looked so disappointed." He explained, looking abashed. "She'd gone to all the trouble of making dessert, and nobody was having some. So I decided to be nice. It was the first time meeting your mom and Phil, and I didn't want to come across as being rude."
"Was it worth it in the end?" She grinned. "Because you seemed like you could barely manage to choke it down."
"You know, despite the fact that she had most likely mistaken the salt for sugar, it was worth it to see her so happy that at least one person had been willing to try her dessert."
"Salt?" Bella laughed out loud and shook her head. "Oh my god. I should have seen that coming."
Sam joined in, laughing now too. Laughing at himself for being such a pushover. "Yes, salt." He nodded in confirmation. "It was the hardest thing I ever had to get down."
"Well, I guess you had to learn the hard way, didn't you?" She winked at him. "At least you'll say no next time, right?"
"I really hope so." He grimaced. "It's hard to say no when she looks so crestfallen. I don't have the heart to disappoint her."
"Don't worry," She assured him. "Cameron and I went through the same thing way too many times to be considered wise. It'll get easier to say no as time goes by."
For a long while, Sam and Bella just sat together, enjoying the peace and quite. There was no awkwardness, and no need to fill the silence with small talk. This was how it had always been between them. They could share the silence with ease, and it was nice to know that it hadn't changed after all these years.
She sipped slowly on her wine as she kicked off her shoes and stretched her legs out in front of her where they sat on the deck in the back yard that overlooked the beach. She was a light weight where alcohol was concerned, and even more so when her stomach was empty. She hadn't eaten much today, and didn't want to end up drunk enough that Sam had to carry her to bed tonight. What a way to make an impression after all these years.
Sam tipped his beer up to his mouth, and smacked his lips as he swallowed the last of the bitter liquid, before he broke the silence. "Tell me about your life here for the last seventeen years. You've heard my story, but I've only heard a little bit from you."
Bella turned toward him and shrugged. "There really isn't much to tell. It's been work and Cameron and not much else." She explained. "We spent a lot of time with my mom and Phil. I've never made any great friends. Ones with whom you could share your life story. A best friend. It's just been a few casual coffee dates with women from work who were interested in the same kind of things I was. Nothing like the friendships I had back home with you and the guys. With Jake.
"What about love interests?" He fished for information.
In all honesty, she had been waiting for him to ask this, knowing that the topic would be brought up at some point. She wanted to ask him the same thing too, since he and Emily didn't get together after she left. Did he have casual flings or dates? Maybe a few one night stands?
"None of that." She shook her head vehemently, answering his question.
"Not even a date? Or a kiss?" He asked, looking very surprised. "Come on," He encouraged her to spill the beans. "You can tell me."
"Not even one date. I swear." She insisted. Her love life had been dry as a bone since things ended between Sam and her. And she told him exactly that.
"That sucks." He murmured, but his face told a whole different story. Like he was actually happy to hear that there had been no one who had captured her heart, or even her attention.
"And you?" It was Sam's turn to confess. Though she didn't really know if she'd be able to handle the truth, she was curious none the less.
"Nah," He denied, keeping his eyes trained on the empty bottle of beer he was absently playing with. "I told you the imprint binds you to one person for life. And that's exactly what it did."
"You're telling me you didn't have sex even once since I left?" She asked, not quite believing him.
Sam looked up at her and shrugged easily. "Nope."
"But," She thought about how she could word her question. "You're a guy right?"
His eyebrows shot up as the words left her mouth and cocked his head as he appraised her for a moment, before answering with a smirk. "I'm pretty sure the answer to your question is back inside the house, sleeping." He chuckled.
"You know what I mean." She rolled her eyes at him and grinned, feeling stupid for the way her question came out. "As a guy, how the hell did you manage to go without sex for so long?"
"You make it sound like such an achievement." He chuckled again, seemingly amused by her surprise. "But it really isn't. I think it's thanks to the imprint that I didn't feel the need. You were gone – the only woman I could ever love for the rest of my life - and those desires just numbed out, I guess. There was nothing, until now."
Bella frowned, not quite understanding. "Until now? What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm sure I don't have to spell it out for you, Bella Swan." He deadpanned.
"Guess not." She said, cheeks flushing beet red in less than two seconds, and she cursed herself for being unable to hide her embarrassment from him. She could feel the heat in her face as she tried to process what it meant. Was he basically suggesting that he had sexual feelings toward her, whenever she was around? That she turned him on? If so, she had no idea how to deal with it. She felt a little bad for him, because he was stuck wanting her, even though there was no future for them.
"How did you manage to deal with your 'frustrations'?" He asked without batting an eye, clearly comfortable enough in his own skin to ask a question like this.
"That's personal, don't you think?" Bella blushed even harder. She didn't think it necessary to tell him about her trusty ole vibrator she kept around for times when she felt so frustrated that she could barely think straight. She kept it hidden in a shoe box, wrapped in tissue paper, between the pair of ridiculously high heels (ones she never wore for fear of breaking her neck) Renée had given Bella on her twenty-fourth birthday. No one knew about it, not even her mother, and she wanted to keep it that way.
"Hey, you started this conversation." Sam pointed out, smirking evilly.
"I know," She sighed. "I guess you could call it good old manual labor." She blushed again, the topic way too embarrassing. "If I can put it like that."
Sam threw his head back, laughing heartily at her explanation, and she huffed in annoyance that he found it so hilarious. "That's a good way to describe it, I suppose." He said when his laughter finally died down.
"It's not funny." She pouted. "At least I didn't sleep with every guy that walked by."
"No, I know." He nodded, still grinning. "But I just feel a little bad for being so relieved that there was never anyone else." He cleared his throat. "I was so sure you'd have moved on. Thought you'd started a family with some blonde, tanned prick from Florida. And then I saw you at the Funeral. I was so shocked when Cameron showed up. Thought my worst fears had come true. Until I saw that he looked exactly like me."
They locked eyes, tension thick as they stared at each other. He looked happy and relaxed, eyes bright. It was such a stark contrast to the man who walked up to her on the day of his mother's funeral with a deep scowl and cold eyes. This man sitting before her now, with his soft eyes and easy smile, was the Sam she remembered from way back when.
She swallowed thickly, unable to look away as Sam's eyes zeroed in on her lips. It looked a hell of a lot like he was going to kiss her, and she didn't know if she wanted him to or not. But just as he started to lean into her, her stomach growled loudly, breaking the spell that they were caught up in, and they burst out laughing at the awkwardness of it all.
"Let's go get you something to eat. You barely touched your food this evening." He said and pulled her up by her arm, dragging her behind him through the sliding doors.
Bella and Sam were busy sorting out her bedroom, with Cameron next door in his own room, and Phil and Renée tackling the bathroom and finishing up the kitchen.
"Hey, look at this." Sam brought a photo album over to her as she packed the last of her clothes into a large suitcase, and zipped it up. Her closet was finally empty, and it was only now that she realized how much clothes and shoes she actually had. Speaking of shoes, she had made sure to pack the shoe box with her vibrator herself, stowing it at the bottom of the suitcase where only she would find it once they were back in Forks. "Didn't think you kept these." He opened the album, revealing a whole bunch of photos of the two of them.
There were so many of them, despite the short time they were together. Most of the photos were of Sam and her, always smiling and looking ridiculously in love. She swallowed thickly as she realized how much she had lost. What she had lost. They had made a really beautiful couple, and she supposed she understood why Emily had been jealous. It had to have been tough for Emily to see them so happy together when she was so in love with Sam, back then.
Sam paged slowly through the few photos she had kept of Allison, smiling sadly at the dark-haired beauty that stared back at them. It was strange to think that she wasn't with them anymore. She had always looked so vibrant and full of life, that Bella supposed no one had seen her death coming. She still had to ask Sam what happened. All she knew - or gathered from listening to the others talk about her at the funeral - was that it had been sudden and unexpected, and she hadn't had the heart to ask about it. But that was better left for another time.
Bella paged over, finding more photos. Photos of them and their friends, where they had spent weekends camping (despite the poor weather), and days on the beach when the weather actually allowed it, all sitting around the bonfire together, or splashing in the perpetually icy waters. "Those were good times." She said and looked up at him. "I kept these to show Cameron what his father looked like. What life had been like in Forks." She sighed. "I guess that's part of the reason he's so excited about moving there."
"God, I miss those days." He murmured, gaze locking with hers. "I wouldn't trade it for anything."
Bella closed her eyes as his warm breath washed over her face, and his hand came down to stroke her cheek with a feather light touch. This time, she had no doubt that he was going to kiss her. And she was going to let him, despite knowing what a bad idea it was. But she needed him to kiss her right now. She needed a taste of what it had been like in the past. Needed to feel the way she did back then, if only for a moment. And against her better judgement, she tilted her face up toward his, and waited for him to make the next move.
His warm lips grazed over hers with the gentlest whisper of a touch, and it made her sigh softly despite herself. She could hear nothing but her pounding heart in her ears, and she wondered if he could hear it too? If he could feel her heart slamming against her chest as she stood so close to him? He seemed to take that as her consent, because he pressed his lips against her a little more firmly, and captured her bottom lip between his.
A fire exploded in her belly, begging for more. It was such a foreign feeling - something she handn't felt in years. But she reciprocated before she realized what she was doing, hands sliding over his broad shoulders to encircle his neck.
Sam's hand trailed from her hip to the small of her back, and pushed her closer into him - so close that she swore she could feel everyone of his hard muscles pressed up against her front - while his other hand grabbed a fistful of hair at the side of her head, deepening the kiss as he did so.
He tasted so good – even better than she remembered – and despite the warning bells going off in her head, she couldn't seem to stop herself. With every slide of his tongue against hers, and every soft moan shared between them, the heat inside of her increased tenfold, until her lungs were aching for a breath and she couldn't remember why exactly she had thought kissing him was such a bad idea.
"Hey, Mom, do you think I can-" Cameron walked into the room, making them jump apart in surprise.
"Oh god, sorry." He apologized, looking a little embarrassed for his poor timing. "Don't let me interrupt." He grinned and turned away to leave.
"No, wait." Bella stopped him, sounding just as breathless as she felt. "Sorry about that." She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and tried to gather her thoughts as Sam cleared his throat next to her, looking just as embarrassed at being caught in a compromising situation by their son.
"It's fine." Cameron waved away her apology with a breezy chuckle and an amused twinkle in his eye. "I can see you two are busy," He assured her. "I can ask you later."
This was the last thing Bella had wanted to happen - Cameron walking in on them and getting the wrong idea. She didn't want him to hope that Sam and she would get back together, only to have him be disappointed. Sam was in Cameron's life now - he had a father for once - but that was where things were going to end. She didn't want to give him the impression that there was the possibility of them becoming a real family. And this meant they couldn't just go around kissing each other on a stupid whim.
"Don't worry about it." She assured Cameron. "It was just a lapse in judgement." She briefly looked at Sam, and he didn't seem happy about what she'd just said, but Cameron had to be made aware that this wasn't the beginning of something between Sam and her. In fact, she wanted Sam to understand that as well. "You came here to ask something?" She pressed on.
"I just wanted to know if you'd mind me taking my Xbox along?" He held up the black box in his hand. "Or did you want to sell it?"
"Of course not." She shook her head, dismissing the idea of him selling his games. "It was a gift from Grandma. You're more than welcome to keep it."
"Thanks." He said, and turned away, leaving them alone in the room to deal with the consequences of the kiss, but she got the idea that he was more excited about witnessing the kiss Sam and she had just shared, than she wanted him to be, even though she'd made it clear that it meant nothing. But did it really mean nothing to her? And what about Sam? What were his intentions?
"Lapse in judgement, huh?" Sam asked cautiously, answering the question she had just asked herself. "Please tell me you only said that for Cameron's benefit?"
"I didn't." She shook her head, hating to disappoint him, but intent on making the boundaries clear, even though she had participated just as eagerly despite her better judgement. "It was a stupid mistake."
Sam's expression hardened, eyes turning to cold slate, and he laughed darkly. "Right," He shook his head at her easy dismissal of what had taken place mere moment ago. "Guess I seriously misread the situation." Without looking at her again, he walked out of the room, pausing just outside the door. With his back to her, he sighed and said one more thing. "Just let me know when you're about to have another lapse in judgement, so I know where that leaves me. So I don't misread your intentions next time." And then he disappeared around the corner, leaving her standing there feeling like shit. She shouldn't have allowed him to kiss her in the first place. Knew nothing good could come of it, but she had to go and be selfish.
A/N: Curious to hear your thoughts...