Chapter Eleven
"We are here today to not only honor the Hokage but all of those who gave their lives in the defense of our village; they fought valiantly and their sacrifice will never be forgotten."
I listened with a numb feeling inside; the same feeling I have had since they took Rafu and Akari's bodies away. I couldn't face Akari's parents yet, I only hoped they understood; as much guilt as I felt for not being there for them, I couldn't bring myself to look into their eyes. I wasn't sure if I feared them blaming me for their deaths like I did or if I feared them telling me it wasn't my fault at all. All of the shinobi had gathered to honor the Sandaime; there was a picture of all of the shinobi who had died in the battle on a long table covered by a white cloth. I looked at Akari's photo, the one she had hated so much she had threatened Rafu and I with bodily harm if we ever brought it up. Her hair was out of it's usual low ponytail, wild and curly, and her bunny teeth were on display, as she said.
I was sitting alone in a park, watching as the children played and trying not to bring attention to myself; all of the other kids said I was weird. They got scared when my eyes flashed or when I told them something was going to happen, like when a kid almost got hit by a ball while riding his bike until I saved him, but they called me loopy Ren and pulled my hair. I jumped with I felt someone tap my shoulder, and I turned to see another kid with the curliest hair I had ever seen and big front teeth smiling shyly at me.
"Uh-h-hi." I said timidly, lowering my eyes so she couldn't see them.
"Hi." The girl said quietly, shifting her feet on the ground uncomfortably. "Do you want to play ninja with me?
"Ninja?" I asked, curiosity outweighing caution
"Yeah! It will be fun; my Otosan is a ninja, you know. One day I will be too!" The little girl said proudly, puffing up her chest in pride.
"Me too!" I exclaimed, happy to find someone else who shared my goal. "I want to go to be a ninja and be strong!"
"Maybe we can go to the academy together!" The girl said excitedly, clapping her hands together. "My name is Akari - what's yours?"
I walked up to the picture, putting down the two flowers I had brought - one for Rafu and one for Akari. I wasn't crying, I had no more tears left to give - so I silently stepped away to allow the next person to approach the table. It began to rain, the dark clouds above mourning the unnecessary tragedy that had befallen our village and taken so many of those precious to us. The ceremony was concluding as the council finished up their words of how the village needed to come together in these trying times and how everyone would need to pitch in so we can preserve the village. The sun broke out of the clouds then, shining down on the table for a moment and I smiled sadly. It finally seemed real to me; the last two days had gone by in such a blur and had felt like a nightmare. Akari and Rafu were really gone. I would never wake up to them on the floor of my apartment, I would never yell at Rafu for eating all of my leftovers. I couldn't tease Akari about when she was finally going to tell Rafu how she felt. It was all.. Gone, just memories that I would try to hold on to.
I sighed, going to my apartment and collecting my lute before heading to the memorial stone where I could play in silence. I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me; my team was gone, so would I get another? Would I go into the Genin corps? Why was it so hard to care? I sat down on the edge of the stones platform, plucking the strings of my lute reverently, tuning the instrument until it sounded perfect and began playing my mockingbird song.
Warusa bakari no uddopekka
Kyou mo ana ake
Moriboro darake
okotta uddo godo
Kuchibashi wo doku ni kaeta
Komatta uddopekka
Su ana ga doku ni
gohan mo doku ni
Tomodachi ni furereba shinubakari
Kanashinda uddopekka
Doku no namida ga kira kira hikaru…
Shikamaru hadn't seen Ren since that day outside of the arena, when he had come to help him with those sand nin. When Ren found out that his teammates were killed, Shikamaru supposed that he had been avoiding company; that's what he would do, as well, if Ino and Choji ever.. It wasn't a thought he wanted to finish. Shikamaru had just left the memorial service and he had seen Ren there, but before he could approach him, the other boy had already left. Standing on the edge of the the crowd that was leaving the service, Shikamaru recognized Ren's sensei, Takeshi, and wondered if he knew where to find the elusive shinobi.
"Takeshi-sensei." Shikamaru said quietly, bowing to the other man. "I'm sorry for you loss."
"Thank you, Nara-kun." Takeshi responded almost robotically. "How can I help you?"
"I was wondering if you knew where Ren was heading after the service." Shikamaru asked, a hint of worry showing on his face. "I wanted to offer him company.. I wasn't sure if he.. I mean, I know he doesn't have any family and I don't think he should be alone."
"That is kind of you, Nara-kun." Takeshi responded, a little bit of the light coming back to his eyes briefly before fading to a more dull state. "I believe he has been spending a lot of time at the memorial stone; if you cannot find him there, I would search his apartment and then there is a spot with a big tree on the outskirts of the village Akari and Rafu" Shikamaru pretended not to notice, for the other shinobi's sake, the way his voice quaver almost imperceptibly on their names "and Ren used to go to a lot. Do you know where I mean?"
"Yes, Takeshi-san. Thank you for your advice." Shikamaru replied respectfully, bowing once more to the man before standing to walk away. The memorial stone was his first destination, so he quickly jumped across buildings to get to the grove where the stone that bore the name of all those who had given their life for the village was. As he came into the clearing, he heard a voice singing a melancholy tune and his heart clenched at the sight and sound before him. Ren's voice was sombre, filled with sadness, and he was plucking the strings on an instrument easily as he sang along to the tune spilling out from the wooden lute in his hands.
One mischievous little woodpecker
Another day, pecking your holes
Ruining the woods, tree wrecker
The angry old forest god turned your poor beak into a poison knife
Poor little woodpecker
Your nesting holes are all tainted, your food with toxins rife
Touch your friends, and they all will die falling at your feet
Oh, sad little woodpecker
Poisonous tears, shining brightly, as they stream down your cheeks
Shikamaru approached him slowly, not trying to hide his presence at all, and sat next to the boy as he continued to sing. Ren had changed his clothes from the normal darker green to a black shirt that hung down to his knees with a slit on each side to allow free movement for his legs. The pants were black and even the boys facepaint was black; anyone could look and see that he was mourning. Shikamaru stayed quiet, even when Ren finished playing the song, and tried not to read too much into the lyrics; was he the woodpecker, poisoning everything he touched? Were his eyes the 'beak'? Shikamaru wasn't sure, but he knew that his new friend was definitely not alright.
"Why do you think people die?" Ren asked suddenly, his voice quiet and withdrawn.
"I'm not sure." Shikamaru answered honestly, never having thought on the subject.
"Akari used to say we all borrowed energy from the earth and that one day, we had to give it back. She says we live on borrowed time." Ren told him, setting the lute to the side and pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.
"That is as good of a reason as any I've heard before." Shikamaru said, his eyes roaming Ren's face, who was staring out at something only he could see; the past.
"I'm afraid." Ren said quietly
"Afraid of what?" Shikamaru asked, brows furrowing
"I'm afraid of losing myself. If a boat does not have an anchor, it will float away; what do you do when your anchor is cut loose?" Ren asked sadly
"You find another anchor to keep from drifting." Shikamaru said firmly "If you lose yourself, I'll come and find you. I haven't known you long, but leaf shinobi stick together. I can't replace them for you, I can't make you hurt any less, but I can at least be here."
Ren looked at him with wide eyes, shocked and pain filled grey, and then he tentatively put his arm out to give the Nara a side hug. Ren was warm on Shikamaru's side, and Shikamaru paid no mind to the weird feeling in his stomach at the contact, because right now his friend needed comforting.
"Thank you." Ren murmured quietly, knowing anything louder than a whisper would break the calm spell that had fallen over the two. They stayed that way until the sun set, casting its orange and red light on the pair of Konoha shinobi
"Earth release: Seismic arrow!" I said, doing the hand signs and unstrapping my bow for the twelfth time in a half hour. I needed to be able to do it seamlessly and as fast as possible to not be vulnerable while using it in combat. I had thought the idea up a couple of days before the tournament, but it hadn't been good enough to use then. I had to get better now, I had to become stronger; I had a sound ninja that I needed to kill.
It had all started yesterday; I activated my dojutsu while I was handling Akari's headband, and I saw who had killed them both. I wasn't sure if my dojutsu was becoming stronger or if it was a fluke, I had never seen the past before, but it felt different and it obviously wasn't the future. I memorised his face, trying not to also memorise the bodies of my two dear friends and the terror that I felt inside of the vision, and now I was training as hard as I could. I promised myself I would kill the shinobi who had cut down my friends in our own village, I wouldn't rest until the bastard was dead.
I was still wearing black clothes, the war paint was still black, and the only color that remained was the green of my feather interwoven with my braid and the white and green of the feathers on my arrows. I felt as though it made my appearance sharper, deadlier; It reflected how I felt on the inside.
The point of the seismic arrow technique was for a offensive power that packed a huge punch in a concentrated area. It would leave a big ass crater in the earth when I shot it down and I wasn't allowed to use it on the test dummies anymore; Takeshi-sensei had caught me doing so earlier and yelled at me for awhile because he was the one who would have to replace them. It felt good to hear him yell; it almost felt like old times, but that far off look was still in his eyes and we still didn't know what would happen to us. Would we get two more team members? Would our team be disbanded? Would I get transferred and he get a whole new team? It was all up in the air until the next Hokage was appointed.
I helped with rebuilding the village where I could and then trained for the rest of the time. I hardly ever saw anyone and I was still avoiding Akari's parents; they had only come looking for me once. I had ran away and the guilt was eating me alive, but I couldn't face them yet. Maybe once I had killed the man responsible, but it was not something I could do right now; so I threw myself into work. I couldn't wait for my next real mission; everyone had to step in to help, so I rarely saw Takeshi anymore. I saw Shikamaru for a while the other day, but we hadn't talked very much. His dad was teaching him some new jutsu that he was talking about, but he didn't go into detail about it.
Finally, I got a summons to come to the Hokage's old office inside of the Academy, and I immediately stopped practicing to go see what they needed me to do. I knew it was about a mission and I needed to go on one if I was going to pay rent next month. What I saw when I got to the office and walked through the door surprised me, and suddenly I wasn't so sure this mission was going to be a great idea after all. Surely there were some D ranks around the village I could do?
A/N: Short, I know, but I'm trying to think about where I'm going with the story right now; I have a vague idea, but I need to solidify, so I'll do my best to make the next one longer and have it up pretty soon.
I'd love to see more reviews! (hint hint)
Thank you all!
~Rache