A/N: Hello again! So, we're making pretty large grounds in the story so far! (you can thank the long chapters because of my long absences lol) Things are about to get heated :p Although those of you who have watched the movie recognize really similar elements, the plot will eventually diverge with the original movie. I'll be taking some of my own artistic liberties!
Anyways, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story and engage with you guys more :)
Take care!
-Ella
Arthur's POV:
Since telling Captain Vargas about our drug mishap would have likely ended in us either being imprisoned or institutionalized for life, Alfred and I decided to leave that part out while we gave the pissy-looking Italian a run-down of the situation.
In other words, we were reporting everything that we had found during the first hellish week of our undercover mission.
We were standing in his office, meter sticks in our hands as we pointed at a make-shift diagram on a bulletin board. I had drawn the faces of each suspect, Alfred had cut them out, and then we had both pinned them to the board with a thumbtack.
It was quite an organized diagram, even if there were plenty of empty spaces with question marks, as we didn't know exactly how the drug hierarchy worked just yet. We knew that Matthias was the dealer, although we were still unsure about who the supplier was.
Alfred, with a proud, arrogant smile on his face, pointed his meter stick at my chibi drawing of Matthias.
"This dude right here is the dealer. His friends," Alfred paused to point at Berwald and Lukas's caricatures. "Are likely involved in the making of the drug. We suspect that this guy – Tino – is the brains of the operation. There's also this emo little douche – Emil – who runs a very popular 'relatable' blog; he's probably the one getting word out of the drug."
Not seeing anything wrong with what Alfred was saying, I let him continue to explain our findings.
What a mistake that was.
"Thing is, boss, the whole social chain at this school is out of whack. The popular kids aren't even popular. They're these weird, tyrannizing ecological justice warriors who have everyone convinced that they're cool because of their social media following. It's wrong and disturbing and just confuses me to no end!" Alfred finished with a huff, breathing deeply.
I rolled my eyes. Clearly, Alfred was still sore about not being accepted by Matthias's group. They liked me better. Why, I even had all of their phone numbers.
Meanwhile, Alfred had his nerds to get acquainted with. The git did it all to himself. First with messing up our class schedules, and then by punching Tino in the face. He was just jealous that for once I was 'cooler' than him.
"Stick to the diagram, moron," I muttered under my breath.
Too bad Lovino had already had enough of Alfred's idiocy. It was only a matter of time before he exploded; he was known for having a short-temper, especially when it came to dealing with us.
The Italian captain was sitting at his desk, arms crossed like a mafia boss. His lip was curled into a sneer. Hazel eyes glanced at the custom swiss knife he had stored in a pencil holder. I knew better than to question him.
I cleared my throat, prompting Alfred to childishly puff up his cheeks as I took over explaining the diagram. "As Alfred was saying, this here is Matthias, a Danish immigrant and one of the dealers from the FMA drug operation. He's kind, out-going, and seems like the perfect boy-next-door type. But, don't let that fool you. He's smarter than he looks. Actually, he's going to Copenhagen in the fall for university…"
I trailed off, smiling fondly at the fact that Matthias had trusted me with such personal information.
"His dream is to win the world over with pot and create world peace," I finished.
It was now Alfred's turn to mutter under his breath. "He's a criminal, Artie," he reminded me. "Not your best friend."
I ignored Alfred. I would never understand America's aversion towards marijuana. It certainly wasn't the worst drug out there.
Lovino impatiently intervened, waving a thin hand at the bulletin board. "The fuck is this?" he snapped, pointing a finger at the cluster of faces that were pinned off to the side.
"That's Ms. Mei and her army of nerds from AP English," Alfred sheepishly answered. "Why, do you not like the smiley faces? I think it brings out their personalities. Also! Arthur drew them really well."
"Why thank you, Alfred," I grinned. "That's quite possibly the nicest compliment you've ever given to me."
"Aw shucks, dude, you're making me blush. If I had known you were this secure, I would have–"
Lovino slammed a fist against his desk. Alfred and I both jumped a good three feet in the air.
"Are you two done blowing each other's non-existent cocks?!" Lovino growled. "Enough with this stalling crapola! You have the dealer, but do you have the supplier?!"
I nervously pursed my lips. "Well, as you can see, there's still a question mark over the supplier's face. The anonymous sign usually indicates that we don't know their identity…"
Lovino's expression screamed bloody murder. "Quit being a smart ass, browzilla!" he shouted. "I asked you idiots to do one thing, and you can't even do it right. The mission is simple: infiltrate the dealers, find the suppliers. If you don't have that information, then don't waste my time. Dismissed!"
With sagging shoulders, we left Lovino's office, walking down the spiralling staircase and into the chapel area.
We were immediately met with the leering faces of our colleagues.
Natalia and Elizabeta were the first ones to make a smug comment about our failures.
They were both wearing skimpy clothing, consisting of denim short shorts and thin-spaghetti strap tops that were cut off mid-waist to reveal pale, fit stomachs. Elizabeta had her long brown hair down, while Natalia was sporting two pom-pom buns.
"Nice job, boys," Elizabeta snickered, mockingly clapping her manicured hands together. "It only took you a week to find out information that took us one hour. Isn't that right, Nat?"
Alfred flinched when Natalia sent him a daggering glare. The first time he had flirted with the Belarusian, she had threatened to cut off his dick.
"Da, they were probably too busy licking each other's pussies," Natalia sneered with a grunt. Elizabeta licked her lips for whatever inexplicable reason.
"Oh yeah?!" Alfred fumed. "What have you guys done, huh? Unlike you, Artie and me are in the field working our asses off instead of lounging around like, like… you lazy good-for-nothings!"
"Actually," Elizabeta cut in, holding up a thin index finger. "We just busted an ecstasy operation at Twinkle High. As of now, we're waiting for our next assignment."
"Ignore them, Alfred," I scoffed, grabbing hold of the American's wrist. "They're only cocky because they got lucky. It's not our fault their drug bust made our mission even harder…" I snidely added in.
"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Elizabeta asked.
"Thanks to you," I sneered, "the students at our school are on high alert. Rumours spread of narcs being active nearby, so it's even more difficult to get accepted into social circles now."
Elizabeta's retort was cut short when Feliciano walked past us, keeping his voice down to hide his distress, albeit unsuccessfully as he spoke into his mobile. When he reached the platform where Pasta Jesus lay, he began to frantically pace back and forth.
"Si, si, I know!" Feliciano whined. "I just need to know if you're okay. Tell me you're okay! Are you eating enough? Are the kids being mean to you? Answer me!"
"Poor thing," Elizabeta simpered.
I let go of Alfred's wrist. Correction, he tugged himself free to loom over Elizabeta. Natalia had already wandered off to a faraway bench, deciding that picking her nails with a pocket knife was more entertaining. Good riddance.
"Just you wait, Eliza," Alfred patronized. "We're going to make the biggest drug bust of all time. We've already infiltrated the popular group, so it won't be long before we hit something big. Besides, it's operations that take longer that turn up with the most results."
"Hmmm, yeah yeah, sure, now do me a favor and make out Arthur," Elizabeta said in a dreamy voice.
"WHAT?!" I spluttered, feeling my face redden. "We're in a church, for Christ's sake!"
"So you're saying that if you weren't in a church, you'd kiss Alfred then?" Elizabeta perked up at the thought.
"Of course not!" I exploded, frantically waving my hands in protest.
Honestly, where was this conversation even going?
Alfred blushed. "WE'RE FRIENDS, YO! IT'S SO NOT COOL TO SHIP REAL PEOPLE TOGETHER!"
"Yeah!" I agreed.
Elizabeta sighed. "Pity. If you guys aren't being useful, you could have at least given us real cops some entertainment."
"Now just wait a minute here!" I screeched, but was quickly interrupted when an irksome bout of 'honhonhon' laughter echoed down the hallway.
Francis, the twat-frog hybrid whom I had quickly grown to hate, and his moronic partner Antonio had just entered the chapel area. They were both wearing soccer uniforms. "See, Antoine. I told you they were gay. You owe me twenty bucks, mon ami."
Francis held out his hand in expectation, only to find that his partner was no longer at his side.
The shriek, subsequent pained "AY!", and slam of the door upstairs revealed that Antonio had barged into the captain's office again without permission.
Not long afterwards, Antonio came out of Lovino's office with his collar and hair ruffled and a prominent red five-star on his cheek, figurative tail hanging between his legs. "I just wanted to give him a homecooked lunch," he pouted to himself.
Having enough of this sheer ridiculous, I grabbed Alfred's wrist again, interrupting him mid-argument with Elizabeta. He was furiously explaining how he would only be gay for Ryan Reynolds.
"Let's go!" I snapped. "We've got a drug bust to make."
"Aw, look! They're holding each other's hands!" Elizabeta squealed. Thankfully, I was too enraged to hear this.
For once, Alfred let me tug him forward. As I passed by Francis, I aimed a sharp glance at his recently shaved face. His strong, rose-scented perfume made my nose crinkle.
"Lovely shave, Francis," I remarked over my shoulder. "The prison called, they want their baby-Papa back."
"Mon dieu!" Francis exclaimed. "The caterpillar can speak!"
"Oh, sod off, you insufferable baguette tit!"
"Hahaha!" Alfred cackled. "That Frenchie sure got ya there."
"Not you too," I deadpanned, quickening my pace as we stormed down the front steps of the church.
"So, what now?" Alfred asked.
I stopped abruptly, letting go of Alfred's wrist. "We need a plan," I replied, furrowing my brows. "I want to prove those scoundrels wrong. The only problem is how…"
"Hmmm," Alfred hummed, pretending to come up with a solution when we both knew that I was the one running the brains of our operation.
"Ahah!" I exclaimed, a proud smirk on my face. "I got it. We need to get closer to those brats if we want to acquire any information. Snooping around won't do us any good. You befriend those kids in your AP classes. There's a high possibility they're helping the popular kids cook the drug."
"And what will you do?" Alfred inquired.
I chuckled. "Isn't it obvious? I'll become popular and befriend the whole of Matthias's friend group."
Alfred's grin was just a bit too wide. "Awesome, dude! Let's do it!"
I raised my hand for a high-five, only to cry out when Alfred nearly broke my wrist. "Easy, you diabetic tart! I'm fragile!"
"Sorry, man. I forgot how delicate you are."
During the drive home, I didn't notice the disappointed expression on Alfred's face.
I was too gleeful.
Why?
Because I was no longer the nerd anymore.
Ah, how the tables have turned.
…
Alfred's POV:
Following Arthur's advice, I decided to keep tabs on the elf-students from my AP English class. I found out that they were all chemistry and tech nerds too, so that definitely added to Arthur's theory of their possible involvement in the making of the FMA drug.
I became even more suspicious when I found them huddled in the chemistry classroom with the lights turned off. Apparently, the teachers let them sit in there during lunch.
I moved to open the door and found that it was locked. Weird.
"Hello?" I asked.
I heard shuffling on the other side of the classroom door.
"Password?" a high-pitched male voice spoke. The door opened by a crack, revealing an Asian boy wearing a white and navy blue hanbok.
"Oh, I'm sorry man, didn't hear ya," I lied.
I immediately grabbed the doorknob, twisting it open to force myself into the classroom.
The boy cried out from having his wrist jerked suddenly. When my vision settled, I recognized Yong Soo, who had quickly retreated to sit at the table where his other two friends were.
I also recognized Kiku, but we haven't really spoken all that much this week. He was still very salty about me calling him a ninja. My bad.
Next to Kiku was a blond, bespectacled boy I haven't met before. He had a pile of phones and empty computer parts in front of him on his desk. Kiku was flipping through a pile of Pokémon cards.
"What are you guys doing in here?" I bellowed.
Kiku looked up from his printed nerd stack. "Eating lunch, you?"
"Studying!" I blurted out.
Kiku nodded his head in approval. "You could use some extra study time," he remarked.
"Oh?" I huffed, plopping myself down onto a desk next to him. It would have looked much cooler if I hadn't gotten my knees stuck. Seriously, who sat in these things?! Hobbits?!
"What are you getting at there, bud?" I leered.
Kiku shyly averted his gaze. "I was just saying that you aren't exactly using the correct terminology in class."
"Yes I am!" I protested.
"Okay," Kiku shrugged. "Explain what an alliteration is."
"Obviously it's talking about global warming," I deadpanned. "It's not right to litter, you know."
Kiku and his friends snickered before letting an awkward silence envelop the room. I sat there, trying to come up with my next plan of action.
If I wanted to bust a drug ring, I had to be relatable. Maybe if I just stayed, they would eventually start talking about something sketchy. Then I could leap in to save the day and arrest their sorry asses.
"Eduard," Kiku asked, glancing at the blond-haired boy with a bowl cut. "Would you like a mochi ball?"
"Mochi!" I exploded. "Is that some kind of drug? Are y'all doing drugs?!"
I stood up from my seat and glanced down at their table for any traces of drugs. I didn't find any.
Kiku held up a thermos filled with food. "This is a mochi. It's a rice cake," he explained. "I would never do drugs. It would dishonour my family."
Eduard smirked. "We don't look like the types to do drugs, do we?" he asked.
"Well, no. I guess not," I grumbled, embarrassedly seating myself again.
Yong Soo cackled. "I'm more of a hugger and K-Pop lover. Oni-Chan," he paused to point at Kiku. "Is an anime and manga type of person. And Eduard, Eduard's um…he has nice boobs. Oh! He's also a really good singer! An excellent addition to karaoke nights, if you ask me!"
"I'm a boy, I don't have boobs!" Eduard fumed.
Yong Soo raised a hand in surrender. "Hey friend, I'm just telling the truth."
"Yong Soo," Kiku chided. "What did I say about grabbing, commenting, or ogling at people's boobs?"
"Not to do all that," Yong Soo's expression fell.
Stunned, I had nothing to say or add to the conversation. What kind of bizarre anti-social world had I just entered?
Take me back, pls.
Still, I needed a lead, something to latch onto and pry information from. It was clear now that these kids weren't the type to either do or make drugs. They were too pure. But that didn't mean they didn't know anything about the drug situation in the school…
Turns out, they were just as clueless as I was.
Yong Soo and Kiku had every reason not to be involved in the ongoing drug operation. The kid who had overdosed recently was unfortunately their cousin. Poor little guys. Their sad expressions nearly broke my heart in two.
Perhaps it was my kindness over the sensitive subject that made them open up to me more.
Either way, I didn't want to be a downer, so I looked around the room, intending to switch gears from our previous conversation.
I spotted Eduard fiddle with an opened computer part and opted to ask him about that. "You're good with computers?" I asked him, stating the obvious.
Eduard smiled proudly. "Yes, sir!" he commented, forgetting that I was technically supposed to be their age. My cover was becoming less and less believable by the minute. "Ah, um, Alfred," he quickly corrected.
"Eddy's good with spyware too!" Yong Soo added.
With the reflexes of well, a ninja, Kiku slammed a hand over Yong Soo's mouth, who immediately let out a string of muffled protests. "You didn't hear that," Kiku stated, cold black eyes staring into my soul.
"Nah, dude, it's cool," I shrugged. "As long as you're not breaking the law or anything."
Kiku visibly relaxed, letting go of Yong Soo before he could lick his 'oknee-changs' hand.
Then I thought of something.
"Hey, Eduard?" I said, leaning over the table. "You wouldn't know how to listen in or track phone calls, would you? Or like, say: install hidden cameras…right?"
Eduard winked. "Well, they don't call me a technical genius for nothing."
"So… is that a yes or a no?" I asked.
Eduard winked twice.
"Dude, work with me here," I groaned.
Eduard winked three times, gritting his teeth. "Take the bait, imbecile," he whispered under his breath. "I can't say it out loud with teachers walking by…"
I furrowed my brows. "So that's a no?"
I don't know why, but Eduard banged his head onto the desk.
When he sat up again, Eduard winked four times.
Was this foreign sign language for something? "A yes, then?"
"Oh, for the love of God!" Eduard shouted.
It took some time for Kiku to calm down the Estonian.
Now, I knew 100% that these kids weren't bad apples. It's the main reason why I showed them my badge, revealing that I was an undercover cop. I then asked for their help.
It was perfectly legal to do this. The only problem was that these kids weren't legally bound to help me. If they revealed my identity, however, then they faced the possible charge of interfering with a criminal investigation.
Yeah, that's right twerps! I read up on these rules! Even if it was only last night! HA! SUCK IT!
"What's in it for us?" Yong Soo asked. "You know, if we do decide to help you."
I grinned widely. This was the one thing I was good at doing. "I'll help you get girls."
"Girls with big boobs, or girls with hella great bodies?" Yong Soo chirped, putting on his poker face. He was unable to contain his excitement.
I nodded my head. "Yes."
…
Arthur's POV:
Alfred actually did something right for once by getting some of his tech friends to help us out with the investigation. He seemed like he had everything in control, so I didn't get too mad when he revealed that they knew we were cops now.
If anything, we had just acquired more eyes and ears in the school.
Now all we needed to figure out was how to get all the popular kids in one place at once.
It was a Friday afternoon, concluding the second week of our mission. Despite our extremely rough start, no other mishaps have occurred thus far.
I was lying on my back, staring at the bottom of Alfred's bunk bed. The drone of Alistair using the lawnmower outside was making it hard to think. Even with the windows shut, the sound still grated my nerves.
While I lazily lounged about, Alfred was sitting at my desk. He was playing world of Warcraft with his newfound pals.
It was only when my phone beeped with a text that Alfred looked up from the computer screen. "Who are you texting?" he asked, a slight hint of jealousy in his tone.
I stifled a laugh. These 'memes' were pretty clever, simple as they may be. "Matthias," I replied. "Can you believe it, Alfred? I just might be popular this time, me!"
My chest swelled with both pride and relief. And here I thought I would be bullied on the spot the minute I walked into that dreaded hormonal institution.
Alfred huffed and jealously pouted his lips.
"You know," I continued, "we still need to gain their full trust. If we could just find something to do that's…oh I don't know, ludicrous, responsible, reckless; something that will make us seem just like them. We need to act like proper teenagers."
"Why don't we throw a party?" Alfred suggested.
I sat up from the bed. "That's actually a brilliant idea!" I commended. "Really! I think it would work! I'll invite Bella, who will invite Matthias, and so on and so forth. We could have them all right under our noses; that's when we'll do the real investigating!"
"Yeah!" Alfred agreed, excitedly raising a fist to the air. "This will also be my chance to make up with them and become popular too!"
I faltered. "Maybe you should just stick to one social group. I mean, it's good to have our ties spread all over the school..."
"Nah, dude. I can become friends with both," Alfred argued. "Those kids will warm up to me eventually."
I sighed. There was no point talking to him about this. I didn't have the heart to tell him that the popular kids already thought that he was weird. There would be no salvaging his reputation among them.
Alfred had a big ego but was easily hurt, and I didn't want to break this news to him.
I'd let him find out for himself, seeing as how stubborn he was.
I could only hope he didn't take it too roughly when he did.
…
Two hours later and I was holding down my part of the plan.
I already had Bella's number, but rather than texting her, I decided to take the old-fashioned route by calling her.
Alfred had just run-off to the bathroom, so this was my only opportunity to call her without any loud or annoying hindrances.
Nervous, I paced back and forth in the bedroom. I held the mobile to my ear, clutching onto it for dear life. "It's all right, Arthur. You've got this. It doesn't matter if there's a significant generational gap, you're still a gentleman, and ladies love that. All it takes is a bit of charm."
"All it takes is a bit of what-now?" Bella laughed as she answered the phone.
I paled.
"Hello? Oliver? This is you, right?" Bella asked.
"Ah! Um! Yes, it's me," I stammered.
"Why are you calling me?" she snickered. "I didn't know we were back in the 2000s?"
"Oh," I smiled weakly. "I, uh, prefer it this way. It's more polite."
I was so nervous that I didn't hear the flush of the toilet down the hallway.
"Okay…I suppose I can understand that," Bella mused. "So, what's up?"
Before I could answer, Alfred stopped outside the bedroom and gave me a wicked look. He smirked, ready to embarrass me since he knows how flustered I get when I speak to girls.
I sat down on the bed, attempting to ignore Alfred, but failed miserably as he grabbed a pillow and began to whack me in the head with it.
"Ah! Ah! Ouch!" I grunted, holding up one hand to counter Alfred's attacks. "I wanted to-! Bloody hell, ah!" I cried out.
"Um…" Bella paused. "Are you alright?"
"Fine!" I panted, aiming a sharp kick to Alfred's shin. "I just wanted to ask you something."
"Go on," Bella replied in an amused tone.
Again, Alfred interrupted me by cupping two hands over his mouth, shrieking at the top of his lungs. "GaaAAAAAAAAyyyyy! PORN! FAP! FAP! FAP! HI, MY NAME IS OLIVER AND I'M ADDICTED TO TENTACLE PORN! GORDON RAMSAY IS MY DADDY!"
By the grace of God, Bella was quick to read into the situation. "Is that your brother in the background?"
"Yes, unfortunately," I sighed. "Would you give me a moment?"
"Sure?"
I cupped a hand over the phone. "WOULD YOU STOP?!" I screeched. "She's going to think I'm a pervert!"
"That's because ye are!" Alistair shouted from downstairs.
"NOT HELPING!" I bellowed before aiming a swift kick to Alfred's groin. While he doubled over in pain, I was somehow able to shove him out of the room.
I had to move the entire wardrobe in front of the door to prevent Alfred from entering the room again.
When I finally got back to the phone, I was a panting and dripping mess. "Sorry about that," I apologized. "My brother, he's uh, special. He never stops bugging me. It's a lot to deal with."
"It's okay! Trust me, I know how annoying siblings can be," Bella agreed. "I have two of them, both guys. They never stop eating, and are always butting into my business!"
I chuckled. "I'm glad that at least someone shares my pain. So, I was wondering. Al and I are throwing a party tomorrow. Would you be interested in going?"
"Sure, why not? Can I bring people?"
"Yes! Yes!" I blurted out. "Bring as many people as you possibly can. That would, ah, be 'awesome'," I muttered, the slang feeling foreign on my tongue.
"Mon dieu, Ollie. You crack me up," Bella giggled. "You're just so formal! It's cute!~!"
I blushed from the praise. "Thank you?"
"It's a compliment, cher. Anyways, I have to go now. Just a quick word of advice, if you make a FB page, news of the party will spread quicker. Oh, and if it's any consolation. No, I don't think you're a pervert, a goofball maybe, but it's oddly endearing. I like you a lot, Oliver Walker. We should definitely get to know each other better."
I couldn't remember the rest of the phone call: I stammered. Bella laughed. I blushed. Bella teased.
By the time the phone call was over, I had completely dissociated. My brain was fried.
Alfred waved a hand in front of my face. Huh? When did I remove the wardrobe from the door? "Uh-oh. Don't tell me you find her attractive?"
Silence.
"DUDE!"
…
Saturday morning…
Before we could even think of preparing for the party tonight, Lovino called us into his office.
I knew there was something wrong the moment I spotted the swiss army knife he held in his dominant hand. In front of him there was a ripe, untouched tomato sitting on a plate.
"Tell me, assholes," Lovino started with a snarl, "why is it that I've heard rumours about you two throwing a party tonight?"
Alfred and I remained silent and stiff, our spines as straight as humanely possible.
"Let me cut to the chase…" Lovino glared, stabbing his knife right into the tomato.
Alfred moved to wipe the juice that had splattered onto his glasses, but I held down his wrist, silently shaking my head.
"If I even so much as hear that my officers were giving alcohol to minors, you can both expect to rot away in prison for the rest of your miserable lives. A stretched asshole will be the least of yours worries by the time I'm done with you," Lovino warned, speaking slowly as he waggled the knife back and forth. "Don't make me bring out, Romano. Crazy shit happens when you piss him off."
Alfred whimpered.
"Thank you, sir, understood. That was very crudely put," I said, awkwardly clearing my throat.
"Get the fuck out of here before I stab you two cunts!" Lovino roared.
I had never run so fast in my life.
…
Saturday afternoon…
Now all Alfred and I had to do was get my brothers out of the house until at least tomorrow afternoon. After pooling our money together, we bought three tickets for a casino a few hours away. Alistair and Isaac leapt at the chance to go, too happy and oblivious to realize the true reason we were shooing them out of the house.
We had excused this outing as our thanks for them hosting us.
William was more reluctant to go, but Alistair just about forced him to pack up, insisting that he get out of the house for once instead of reading all the time.
The tickets were expensive, but it was already agreed that what we were doing was for the best. A kid had died of an overdose; we couldn't let something like that happen again. It was our job to save and protect lives. Although, it looks like we would have to break a few rules in the process…
Isaac and Alistair were already in the car, eager to enjoy their night out.
Meanwhile, William lurked on the front steps, giving me a soft glare of warning. He narrowed his pale eyebrows at me. "I don't know what you're up to, and frankly I don't care, just don't too anything too reckless and be safe."
I robotically nodded my head up and down. "Yes, yes, of course," I sheepishly admitted.
Satisfied, William turned his back, lazily waving over his shoulders. "You're a horrible liar, Arthur. You're lucky I'm such a good older brother."
I smiled. "That, I am."
When my brothers drove off and were out of sight, I burst into the kitchen and reached up to give Alfred a high-five. Previously, he had been dancing around the kitchen's island top, chugging several beers in celebration.
The party was on.
…
Saturday night, 9PM:
Alfred and I were just about ready for the party. Since we couldn't technically buy any alcohol, and thus 'serve' it to minors, we had made the event BYOB. Obviously, we would still get arrested should our captain find out that we had willingly let minors consume alcohol in our presence, but there were a lot more important things to worry about.
All the laws and rules we were breaking was for a good cause –we were saving the lives of mere children.
Perhaps that's why I didn't feel so bad when Alfred found Isaac's stash of marijuana under the living room couch. Or why I didn't say anything when Alfred put the drugs on display along with the rest of the chip bowls and appetizers.
It's not like Isaac could call me out, a cop, for possessing an illegal substance.
There was still half an hour before the party started, so we were both pretty jittery, adding in final touches here and there to make the house as 'hipster' as possible. There were several lava lamps, party streamers, and puka shell necklaces on display, found in every room and crevice, as well as garbage bins just to be safe.
The walls were decorated with additional photos of baby, toddler, and awkward pre-teen Alfred to make our cover story as brothers more believable. My favourite embarrassing photo of him was the one where he was dressed up as Superman when he was three. He hadn't responded very well to me calling him a "baby douche."
Anyways, for the plan to work, we also had to lock up the second floor of the house, as that was where Alfred would be running his intelligence operation with his newfound friends. Once Matthias and his friend group arrived, it was my job to get information about the FMA drug from them.
For now, all we could do was wait.
Alfred, wearing an old bomber jacket of his that apparently made him look cool, paced back and forth in front of the kitchen, anxiously glancing at the food and drugs table.
"I don't know, man," Alfred rambled. "I still think we should have borrowed some more drugs from evidence lock-up. Most of those cases never make it to court anyway. What if what we have isn't enough and they want to leave right away?"
I rolled my eyes. "We're not trying to ruin their lives, Alfred. All you'd find in there is heroine or marijuana laced with something too strong to be taken at a high school party. Remember, we're here to prevent a kid from overdosing again," I trailed off solemnly.
Alfred sadly nodded his head. "True, very true," he agreed.
"Why are you so nervous?" I asked, furrowing my brows. "Didn't you used to party a lot back in high school and college?"
"Yeah! But that was a long time ago! And, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've got a lot of grounds to make if I want to have a good second impression on these kids. Shit! I'm taking a shot. I need to calm down."
"I'll have one too," I said, only for Alfred to shake his head at me as he poured himself a shot of tequila.
"No alcohol for you just yet, Artie," Alfred teased. "You're a lightweight. Wait until after we get the information before you drink anything. We need you to have a clear head. Once we get enough evidence, then you can put on the reckless teenager act. Lord knows how much you need to unwind."
Reluctantly, I resorted to drinking ginger ale instead, grumbling curses into the pop can. Whether I liked it or not, Alfred was right. I couldn't get drunk right away if I wanted to follow through with our plan. I could be 'relatable' and 'fun' with these kids once my job was done.
Fifteen minutes before the party officially started, the doorbell rang.
"COME IN!" Alfred bellowed from the kitchen.
Soon afterwards, a group of three lanky teenagers, presumably nerds judging by how two of them had bowl cuts, walked into the kitchen.
"Welcome to the operation, kiddos," Alfred greeted before pointing at me. "This here is Arthur, my buddy and partner in crime solving. He'll be the one doing the sneaking around for ya."
I said my hellos, feeling like I was looking in a mirror at my past self. The nostalgia caused an unsettling feeling to curdle in the pit of my stomach.
Alfred then began with the introductions. The silent, stoic kid was Kiku, a senior. The loud, excited and touchy one was Yong Soo, who was only a freshman – there would be absolutely no drinking for him. Lastly, the blond with glasses was Eduard, a senior who technically should be a junior.
They all seemed like pleasant, polite kids, and not wanting to hurt their feelings, as they seemed excited to be invited to something for once, I pulled Alfred out of the kitchen.
"You lot should probably head upstairs now," I whispered to Alfred. "If the other kids see...them, they might feel inclined to leave."
I didn't want to state the obvious. I communicated it with my facial expression instead. These kids were at the bottom of the social food chain and weren't exactly thought of as cool. If the populars spotted nerds in the vicinity, they wouldn't be sticking around for long.
It was a cruel world; still, I was just being realistic.
Alfred got my message loud and clear, albeit not liking it. "Roger that, Arthur," he said bitterly. "You don't have to worry about us ruining your reputation."
Alfred turned to leave.
"Wait! Alfred!" I called out, but Alfred had already left.
The fact that he hadn't called me Artie never even crossed my mind.
…
So far, so good. People arrived at around ten, and the party was full-blown. The food was being eaten, alcohol and drugs were being consumed (good lord), and the music was great. Laughter, shouting, and the grunts of grinding filled the air. Girls were dressed in skimpy outfits while boys circled around them like piranhas sniffing blood in a bed of water.
People truly did seem to be having a great time.
The only problem was that Matthias's friend group hadn't shown up yet.
Alfred mirrored my nervousness as he wove in and out of the crowd to find me standing by the front door, agitated in anticipation.
"Dude!" Alfred bellowed.
I turned around. "Where the hell is Matthias?" I deadpanned. "He said he would be here. If he doesn't come, then this whole party would have been for nothing."
"Relax, he'll be here," Alfred reassured me. "Cool people always come late."
I shrugged.
"So…" Alfred drawled. "How does my mascara look? Do you think it's too much?"
"Wait, what?!" I spluttered. "Mascara?!"
Alfred sighed in annoyance. "Like, duh. Girls are into that freaky senpai shit these days."
I looked up at Alfred to find that he was indeed wearing mascara. It made his eyes appear to be unnaturally large. Unlike him, I wore eyeliner, which made your eyes look considerably smaller.
"Whatever," I scoffed. "Do your job and go check up on those boys. I caught that younger one trying to sneak alcohol upstairs. He was going on about building a 'hoe army'. I have no idea what he meant by that, nor do I want to."
Alfred chuckled. "That seems like something Yong Soo would say."
Before I could respond, I spotted a familiar head of spiky blond hair in the crowd, along with his signature Hawaiian print shirt.
On cue, Alfred yelped, sprinting upstairs to warn his friends to prepare their technical equipment.
Matthias, Bella, Tino, Berwald, Lukas and Emil walked into the living room, taking in the vibrant party atmosphere with eager eyes.
Bella was the first one to find me. She ran over to pull me into a hug, her pixie blonde hair bouncing adorably. She was wearing a lovely red t-shirt dress that modestly fell to her knees and a denim jean jacket. In comparison, I felt inferior and emo with my dark black clothing, ripped jeans, and several fake piercings dotting my lips and upper brows.
"Ollie, this party is amazing!" she exclaimed, reaching up to kiss me on both cheeks. She was just so pure and sweet.
Stunned, as I would never understand the European tradition of kissing one's cheeks, I numbly reached up to touch my face. "T-thanks," I stammered, smiling weakly. "I tried."
"Well, you did good, son," Matthias commended, reaching over to drape an arm over Bella's waist. I awkwardly looked away.
A blur behind Matthias prompted me to turn towards the staircase. Alfred stood there, frantically waving for me to keep the Dane busy while he and his nerds pocketed his phone.
Slowly, as I conversed with the Scandinavian group + 1, Alfred and his friends poured into the living room, sneaky expressions on their faces.
"So," I cleared my throat. "How about them tweets?"
Emil scoffed; Berwald glared; Tino smiled to humour me; Matthias cackled; and Lukas never even bothered to look up from his phone, already bored with the illegal activities presented before him.
Meanwhile, Bella cocked her head to the side. "Was that supposed to be a joke?" she smirked.
"Yes! Yes! Of course!" I lied sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck.
Sensing that I was in trouble, Alfred dove in to ruin the day. "Matthias, my man! How are ya?"
Matthias gave Alfred an uneasy look. "Just chilling… you?"
At the other end of the room, Alfred's friends stood impatiently.
"Wait for the signal," Kiku muttered with narrowed eyes, instructing Eduard and Yong Soo. The moment Alfred winked at them, they were quick on their feet.
"Hey!" Alfred shouted over the music. "Would ya'll like a beer?"
As planned, Alfred bumped into Matthias, spilling beer over the front of the Dane's shirt.
"For the love of God, Allen!" I feigned inconvenience. "Could you be anymore annoying?!"
"Sorry! It was an accident, I swear!"
While I helped Matthias and Bella pat down Matthias's shirt, Yong Soo dove in behind the Dane, snatching his cellphone from his back jean pocket.
To create a further distraction, Yong Soo threw the phone over to Kiku, grabbed Matthias's chest, screamed "NICE PECS!" and then sprinted away upstairs.
Matthias was too bewildered to have even noticed this.
When Alfred excused himself to grab another towel, in other words, copy information from Matthias's sim card, I did damage control.
"I'm so sorry, mate," I sighed. "My brother, he's not exactly the sharpest person out there."
"He sucks, that's what," Matthias deadpanned, trying to stay optimistic despite the unfortunate chain of events. "Eh, I won't let that get me down, there's no point! The night is still young. Why don't you show us around, Walker? Give us a quick house tour?"
"Of course," I smiled. "I'd love to."
I would have been a lot more charming had I not blushed uncontrollably when Bella folded her arm into mine, even if she was just being friendly.
…
Alfred's POV:
Upstairs in the bedroom…
I hollered my nerdy army on as they extracted Matthias's sim card and began to copy data from it. We had a small window of opportunity while Arthur kept them busy downstairs. Then, we would have to create another distraction to return the soon-would-be bugged phone to its rightful delinquent owner.
Since I was so amped up, I began tossing sock balls into a laundry bin, acting as if it were a game of basketball. Swish goes the victory of this mission!
"All right, men! Let's make this mission a success! Extract that data ASAP!"
Eduard and Kiku were sitting on the bed, pressing their faces close to the laptop that was downloading the extracted data. The loading bar indicated there was still 66% of information left.
Unbeknownst to me, Yong Soo was in the closet, getting drunk.
"Let's go! Let's go!" I bellowed.
Eduard turned to roll his eyes at me. "We're going as fast as we can!" he huffed.
"Well, go faster!" I urged, anxiety beginning to settle in. "This can't take too long. It's now or never!"
The two nerds went back to ignoring me.
Still, I wanted to cheer them on.
"Nanananananananananana BATMAN, BATMAAAAAAAN!"
Eduard gave me a disturbed look. "What are you doing?"
"Being supportive, duh. Don't you nerds thrive off well-placed references?" I asked.
Kiku smiled at me for the first time. "Alfred-san, I was wrong. You're not so bad, after all."
My cheeks flushed slightly. I was really beginning to warm up to these kids. "Thanks, man."
While Kiku and Eduard finished downloading the rest of the data, I poked my head over the upstairs railing in the hallway. Matthias and his group were lurking by the front door while a flustered Arthur tried to convince them not to leave.
"CRAP!"
…
Arthur's POV:
After about an hour of making terrible jokes and leading Matthias and his friends around the house, stalling for Alfred, the group quickly became bored.
Tino sighed. "This is getting really lame. There's like, no hot guys here."
Tino didn't notice the disappointed look on Berwald's face.
"Yeah," Emil agreed. "Let's just go home already. I could be hacking into government websites, but no, of course not, you idiots just had to drag me here."
Matthias faltered, scratching his head. "Ah, maybe we should call it a night. We can head over to my house, smoke some weed, and put on a movie or something?" he suggested.
Everyone except for Bella agreed.
I had to think of something quick. They couldn't leave before Matthias's phone was returned to him.
"Wait!" I called out frantically as the group began to saunter over to the door. "You just got here! We have plenty of free pot too!"
Matthias raised a brow in interest. "Oh?"
Before I could answer him, Lukas elbowed Matthias in the ribcage, hissing lowly under his breath. "Look who just arrived," he growled, aiming a pointed stare at the two strangers who had just walked into the house. They clearly weren't from Hetalia High, since no one greeted them.
There were two boys, one with strawberry-blond hair and weirdly pointed canines, and a boy with black hair and green eyes. They both had wide smirks on their faces as they strode over to us.
"Lukas, my favourite environmentally-friendless snob, how are you?" the strawberry blond leered.
I tensed in reciprocation to how Matthias and his friends were acting.
"Fine," Lukas ground out. "What are you doing here, Vlad?" he spat.
Vlad shrugged, waving about a thin hand that had its finger nails painted black. He too was a goth. "I heard rumours that there's a new drug going around. Thought I would grab some for myself."
"You still haven't paid us back from last time," Bella glared, looking the meanest I had ever seen her be. Whoever these kids were, they weren't very well liked, and probably for a very good reason if the normally cheerful Belgian was treating them with disdain.
"Details, details," Vlad dismissed, a wry smile on his face. "So, Dane, how about you fork over the good stuff, yeah? I'm always looking for new stuff to deal, you deal?"
"In your dreams," Matthias gave Vlad a stony look. "I don't deal with unreliables. You've fucked with my client list enough. Learn how to stick to your own territory."
"He wasn't asking," the green-eyed boy beside Vlad threatened. The bright smile on his face was unnerving. "Give us the drugs, Kohler."
"You should listen to Boris," Vlad sneered. "Wouldn't want to cause a scene, now would we?"
Matthias reeled back, fuming. It seemed like a fight was about to break out.
It was time to put my knowledge of de-escalating conflicts into good use.
Or should I say, horrible, destructive use?
"Woah, woah, woah," I held out an arm between Matthias and Vlad.
Matthias gave me a confused look.
"Don't worry, I got this," I reassured the Dane, confidently looking over my shoulder.
"You sure, Walker?" Matthias asked.
"Yeah, 'dude'" I smirked. "I can handle these twats any day of the week."
I then walked up to Vlad so that we were face-to-face. "Now, listen here you," I growled, feeling adrenaline leak into my veins as I knew that everyone in the room was staring at us.
"Just who the hell do you think you are, walking into my house, demanding things like mannerless scoundrels? I suggest that you take your shitty behaviour and leave," I growled.
"Nah," Vlad chuckled. "I think I'll stay. Besides, what are you going to do about it?"
I puffed up my chest like an oaf. "Very well. I'll make you leave then."
Vlad's expression darkened. "You wanna see mannerless oaf?"
"Surprise me," I smirked.
Vlad threw a punch to my right cheek. "Well, there you freaking go!" he snarled.
(Everything after that I was unable to recall once sobered.)
Vlad surged forward, tackling me into a wall.
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" the crowd jeered.
The sound of the large commotion made Alfred come sprinting downstairs. "Art-! I mean, Ollie! What the hell's happening!?"
"Look around, moron!" I shrieked, ducking to avoid being punched in the face, again. "I'm in the middle of a fudging fight! What do I do?!"
"FIGHT BACK!" Alfred shouted, quickly leaping into the chaos to send a round-house kick to Boris's stomach.
I continued to duck, avoiding the punches and claws (?) Vlad threw at me. I couldn't hurt him without fearing any legal repercussions.
"I'm sorry!" I yelped, jumping to the side. "I didn't mean it. I'm just hurting so much, you know? This was my one chance to be cool, and I didn't want to blow it! I wanted to be relevant, okay?! I'm relatable… r-right?"
Vlad replied by throwing a bowl of chips at my head.
"CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A CIVILIZED DISCUSSION ABOUT THIS?" I deadpanned, sprinting out of the kitchen.
Vlad was still on my tail.
"For Christ's sake!" I huffed. "I'm trying to explain my sad back story! Let me be relatable and quirky, damn you!"
The last straw for me was when Vlad had me pinned against the fireplace's mantel. Cornered and with nowhere to go, I looked up, gratefully noticing Isaac's bong that we had masked as a decorative vase.
"Fuck it all, I'm done!" I screamed, slamming the bong on the back of the Romanian's head.
CRASH!
Vlad crumpled to the ground, knocked out cold.
"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" I gasped.
The whole room fell silent.
"Shit," Matthias remarked.
"Fuck," Alfred added before sneaking Matthias's phone back into his pocket.
"Damn," Bella whistled.
"Olay~!" Antonio cheered. When the hell did he and the frog even get here – in their covers no less?
Wild with euphoria, I raised the half-broken bong to the air. "LET'S TAKE SOME SHOTS, YEAH?"
"YEAH!
The party resumed, crazier than ever before.
I didn't have to worry about the populars wanting to leave anymore.
…
Turns out, the party got way out of hand, and yours truly may have had one too many shots upon finishing his task for the night.
Since Antonio and Francis were already here with their 'friends', Alfred and I had asked them to do us a solid. We would owe them a favor in return if they ever needed help with their mission. Since they had also let minors consume alcohol, it was an unspoken promise that we would never tell Lovino about this.
Putting on sunglasses to hide their faces, as well as their actual police uniforms, Antonio and Francis pretended to raid the party, finally bringing it to an end.
Antonio kicked open the front door, raising his stun gun. "PARTY'S OVER!" he screamed. "EVERYONE PUT YOUR HANDS UP!"
"HONHONHON! BUSTED!"
Chaos erupted as everyone scrambled out of the house, using the back door and any nearby windows.
I found myself sprinting alongside Matthias on the street outside.
Once we were a safe distance from the house, we stopped to catch our breaths, doubling over. I clutched at my knees, wheezing. I should have eaten more. My stomach was burning from all the alcohol in my system.
When we both had sufficient oxygen in us, we straightened up and threw each other a maniacal grin.
"Man, that party was awesome!" Matthias cackled into the night.
Matthias held out his right fist, and I immediately bumped my own fist with it.
"Hey, Walker?"
"Yeah?" I smirked.
"I like you. How do you feel about making some extra cash?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Go on?"
Matthias patted me on the back. "I'mma let you in on a drug operation we've got going on. If you're good, that is. I can't sell all these drugs on my own. I need a right-hand bro at my side. What do you say? Would you be interested?"
"Whatever you're talking about, I'm in!" I eagerly agreed.
Matthias's grin only became wider. "AWESOME!"
Just then, Alfred came sprinting over to us. "WOW! What a rush. I'm glad you guys didn't caught. Wild, right?" he asked Matthias.
Matthias's grin faded. "Right… anyways, I'll text you later, Ollie."
Matthias turned to leave, ignoring Alfred completely.
Alfred chuckled nervously. "He likes me, right?"
"Uh, yeah, sure he does," I replied.
Alfred had a disappointed look on his face again.
Before cleaning up the mess the party had left behind, I took Alfred to McDonald's, hoping to cheer him up.
He was still sad by the time we got home.
To be continued…