I still can't believe all of the support I'm getting, you guys are amazing! I just wanted to make one thing clear to avoid confusion with a part of this chapter... To my understanding, Ben doesn't know his mother is alive. Last he saw her, she was on the bridge when it got blown up. So to his knowledge, she's dead. Thanks again everyone and as always, comments and critiques are welcome!
Kylo Ren dreamed of her that night.
He woke up, heart thundering against his chest, her name on his lips.
Rey.
He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on breathing, on feeling the Force flowing through him, letting its calming presence wash over him.
The brush of her bare skin against his. Her soft brown eyes staring into his. His name, a whisper, a plea.
Kylo groaned out loud, running his hands through his hair. He could still smell her, like sunshine and lemons, a combination he would have never thought would drive him crazy.
What was wrong with him? He couldn't escape her during the day and now she was even invading his dreams. She was like a phantom, haunting every corner of his mind.
He forced himself to calm down, to combat the anger he could feel rising in him, the frustration. She just didn't have it in her to give him a moment of peace, did she?
Kylo wondered if the dream was because of earlier, when she emerged from the refresher, practically snarling with frustration. She had looked so wild, so… beautiful. The water droplets slipping down her neck and arms… He hadn't realized he'd never seen the soft skin of her wrist and forearms until he couldn't pull his eyes away.
The thought of another man touching her perfect skin, skin she normal kept so hidden; it shook him to his very bones, made his blood boil with fury.
Kylo shuddered in his bed, fear instinctively pulsing through him at his thoughts. He kept forgetting that Snoke was gone, that he couldn't invade his mind. That he wouldn't be punished for thinking such things. That he was finally free of the pain, of the torture.
He knew there was danger in his newfound freedom, in allowing himself to think about Rey too much. She still believed she could turn him, that Ben Solo could be saved.
And he was content to let her believe so, as long as it meant he could keep seeing her. Rey, the only person in the galaxy who saw into his soul and didn't flee.
He was selfish, letting her believe there was hope when he knew he was right where he belonged, Supreme Leader of the First Order. He had given up too much, destroyed too much to doubt himself now.
But he couldn't bring himself to smash her hopes for him into dust, to push her out of his life.
...
Star systems and light years away, Rey awoke with a gasp, Ben's phantom touch still lingering on her skin.
...
Waves of frustration and annoyance kept making their way down the bond, making paying attention in an already excruciatingly boring meeting near impossible. If Kylo had to listen to Hux give one more update on the "filthy Resistance sympathizers", he was going to burn this ship to ashes. After spending the rest of the night tossing and turning on his silk sheets, too afraid of what he might dream about to sleep, his patience frayed quickly during this meeting.
Having difficulties with something? He sent to Rey, needing a distraction, feeling her surprise and something else she quickly buried that left behind an echo of embarrassment. Interesting.
No, she said, immediately defensive.
You know there's not much point in lying to me.
He could feel her sigh through the bond. Fine. Yes, I'm having difficulties. Is that what you want to hear?
Was it bad that he liked it when she snapped at him? When he cracked her carefully maintained layer of calm? It only felt fair with how she had perfected the art of getting under his skin.
Anything I can help you with? Kylo offered.
Surprise. He could feel her reaching out, trying to feel out his intentions. Doesn't the Supreme Leader of the First Order have something better to do with his time than help out a lowly scavenger? Though her tone was teasing, he could sense her apprehension.
Not right now. He flicked his eyes up to where Hux was ranting, face red, teeth bared, and sent the image down to Rey.
Her instant repulsion nearly made him laugh. He seems… intense.
Yes. He certainly keeps the meetings from getting too boring. Really, I owe him for keeping me awake today.
There was a strange pause. Did you have trouble sleeping last night? Something about her tone, the deliberately casual yet breathy way she asked... There was no way she could know about his dream.
Just the usual, he said cautiously, all senses straining for the slightest hint of anything unusual about her reaction. I don't always sleep well.
But all she said was, It's a good thing you have your red-faced Admiral then. You should probably give him a raise.
He was looking into this too much, there was no way she knew. A mixture of relief and disappointment clashed inside him.
I don't sleep well either, she offered. Perhaps you could lend him to me sometime?
Kylo held back a snort at the thought of Hux and Rey in the same room. The real question was who would attack the other first. His money was on Rey and that fiery temper of hers.
Her soft laugh filled his head, hearing his thoughts. Why do I have a feeling that pointing out my temper was meant as a compliment?
Because it was, he responded, amused when she laughed again, a light, girlish sound.
"Supreme Leader?" Admiral Hux's voice sounded astonished.
Kylo stiffened, abruptly realizing he was staring off into space, smiling at nothing. He flicked his eyes back up to where Hux stood, confusion and surprise filling his face. Everyone else seated around the table was pretending they weren't looking at him, anxiety and uncertainty seeping off of them.
"Did you need something, Admiral?" Kylo asked, slipping back on his icy mask. Foolish.
Hux's eyes narrowed. "No," he finally said, lowering his head slightly. "Forgive me, Supreme Leader."
He could feel everyone intentionally not looking at him, pretending nothing had happened. But he'd slipped up, here, where he needed to appear strongest. He was a fool. He took his time scanning the table, letting his gaze rest heavily on each person, letting them feel the power he possessed. Their anxiety and uncertainty morphed into fear. Good.
Everything okay? Rey whispered down the bond, perhaps feeling his negative emotions. He wanted to snap at her for distracting him but he pushed it down. He had reached out to her first, after all.
It's nothing. Just something that required my attention.
Rey kept silent, obviously not sure of what to say, her uncertainty and discomfort making the back of his neck prickle.
I should probably get back to what I was working on… He caught the brief flicker of an image, the broken pieces of her lightsaber on the floor. Suddenly he understood her earlier annoyance.
Wait. He could feel her withdrawing from his mind, taking her warmth with her. Are you trying to repair it?
She huffed, irritated with herself by revealing too much. Trying, she admitted. I found some information on how to build a lightsaber but nothing about repairing one already broken.
Information? Where?
A book. He could tell from her response and the shields that closed around her mind that she wouldn't be revealing anything more. Kylo stored that information away for another time, intrigued as to where she could have found books with instructions on crafting a lightsaber.
You'd probably be better off just making your own rather than trying to fix that one, he said, remembering the way it split under their combined power and the resulting explosion. The crystal was probably cracked, and while that didn't ruin it, trying to repair a lightsaber with a damaged crystal that didn't belong to you in the first place would be difficult.
I don't really have the pieces to make my own, she admitted and he could feel her disappointment. Her wanting to craft something that belonged to her, something she could call her own. I wouldn't even know where to find a kyber crystal.
Kylo smirked internally, making sure his face remained impassive. Well if you ever change your mind about joining me, I could help you with that. He sent her an image of Snoke's personal collection of kyber crystals, shelves and shelves of glittering gems. They were just sitting on the ship, waiting to be used. Snoke had hoarded them greedily, collecting dozens over the years.
He hadn't meant it seriously, part of him showing her because he'd hoped she might ask for his help. But instead, ice spread down their bond.
Resorting to bribery now? Rey thought coldly, her thoughts closing off from him. I'm glad you're in a position where everything gets handed to you. But some of us don't have the luxury, some of us would rather keep our integrity.
Rey, I didn't- he started, but she had already vanished, locking herself behind her walls.
He ground his teeth, infuriated with her.
Kylo sat there, seething for the rest of the meeting, feeling the occasional gaze flicker over him. Hux especially kept a close eye on him, searching for any sign of weakness. They watched each other like two wolves circling.
"Supreme Leader, perhaps you would like to weigh in on this last matter," Hux finally said, a spark in his eye. A test of some sort then. "Our spies have discovered that there is going to be a meeting on Coruscant. An opportunity for the Resistance to meet with sympathizers and try to gather support under the guise of a party. It's set to happen in three days time and our spies are confident they will have the exact location by then."
Hux watched Kylo unblinkingly.
"I'm assuming you will be sending troops to capture the Resistance who attend?" Kylo asked cooly.
"Kill or capture, whichever opportunity presents itself."
"Again, you act without thinking, Admiral," Kylo said dismissively. Hux's face turned red, eyes bulging with indignation. "If we kill them all, how will we be able to find out where their new base of operations is? I want as many taken alive as possible. Kill the sympathizers if you must but I want any members of the Resistance brought here to me."
"Of course, Supreme Leader. And what if the girl is there?" There it was, the thing Hux had been waiting for, the trap he thought he'd sprung.
Kylo just met his gaze evenly. "We discussed this already. I want her alive and brought here to suffer for murdering Supreme Leader Snoke. If any of your men injure or kill her, you'll be the one to answer for it." He used the force to apply just the slightest of pressure around Hux's throat, a reminder of who held the power. He paled, lowering his eyes submissively.
If Hux hoped to get a reaction out of Kylo, he would be sorely disappointed. Rey was the first person he thought of and he knew the Resistance wouldn't be stupid enough to send her out in the field with the bounty on her head. She was too valuable.
And now, with his mother dead, there was no one else he cared for in the Resistance. The rest could burn for all he cared.
They wanted her to go to a party on Coruscant. Rey could hardly believe her ears when Leia asked her.
"I wouldn't ask this of you if it wasn't important," she said, reaching to grip Rey's hand. Leia's casual touches were always kind but so hard for Rey to accept. She hadn't been touched in such a long time, other than being hit and shoved as a slave on Jakku, so her immediate reaction always to flinch away. Over the course of her life, touch equaled pain.
"We've received reports of the bounty on your head," Leia continued. "But I fear that if you don't come with us, we may leave empty-handed. People want to see hope with their own two eyes, see what they're fighting for. You're the new symbol of the Resistance."
Leia looked up at her, the weight of what she was saying shown in her eyes.
Rey swallowed heavily, once again feeling the walls closing around her.
"Don't worry." Poe Dameron stepped closer from where he'd been waiting off to the side, misinterpreting her look as nervousness. "We'll be careful and I'll be there to keep an eye on you."
Rey appreciated his reassurances but she wasn't afraid to go. Getting out of this base and doing something helpful was exactly what she needed. No, what she was afraid of was disappointing the people who were expecting something great. She was nothing but an abandoned scavenger, a girl who had no idea why the Force chose her.
"Besides, doesn't every girl want to get dressed up and go to a party with a handsome man?" Poe joked, ignoring the exasperated look Leia threw him.
And a party. Just another way to stand out, to show her inexperience. She had never been to a party, didn't know what to wear, how to dance. She would look like a child.
But the Resistance was counting on her and she owed them. She could master her fear and hold her head high at this party because the Force chose her. She didn't have to understand why, it was a part of her now. If suffering the embarrassment of a party was what it took to gain allies in this war, then so be it.
"I'll go," Rey said.