Monster

Chapter 6

And I started to think...

Original Publish Date: 4/27/2018

"You got… one right."

Rin was sitting on the outdoor patio not far from the school library with Sango's younger brother, Kohaku, who was a year below theirs. He had a serious problem with English, but was awesome at Math, to the point of already taking a college course. Luckily, she was the opposite, and they were able to help each other out... And she totally bombed the practice quiz he gave her.

"You don't look well. Have you been sleeping alright?" NO. Rin wanted to reply, having spent the entire weekend staring at Sango's closet doors during the night but she didn't want to worry her male friend.

"I'm fine, Kohaku, thank you for asking." Rin turned grabbed the paper he held, "So what did I do wrong?" Kohaku spent the rest of the hour trying to help her, but it was like throwing a wet rag on the wall and having it slid off. She was just too exhausted to remember equations or anything with numbers.

"Maybe we should try again tomorrow…" Kohaku offered, closing his textbook. "You should get some rest."

Rin sighed, "I guess I could use a nap." She faced him and smiled, "Thank you for trying, Kohaku."

The young man smiled back with a blush tinging his cheeks, "Y-yeah. No problem! See you tomorrow."

Rin gathered her things and headed towards the train station, lost in her thoughts. Shiori wasn't here today… She planned to ask the half-monster about what she saw. Hopefully, Sesshomaru does stop by so I can ask him… She entered the fast train once its doors opened, opting to stand next to a pole instead of looking for a seat in the full cart. Rin fought to stay awake as the light swaying of the train car threatened to lull her to sleep.

She shook her head. If she fell asleep standing, she was going to end up on her face! The young woman looked around the cart, her eyes landing on a man whose back was toward her on the other side. She was in awe of his thick, inky black hair. It was very long, much longer than her's, and looked to have a deep green sheen to it when the sun hit it. That can't be his natural color. While she pondered what products he must use to handle that mass of hair, the man looked over his shoulder and at her.

Ah, busted! Rin's gaze dropped to the train floor, counting the metallic specks that decorated the linoleum. It wasn't long before two black loafers made their way to her view, and the young woman meekly looked up and widened her eyes. Oh no. He's hot. The man had to be around mid or early 20's, dressed in a black blazer and pants, and his soft brown eyes seemed to be laughing at her. Her eyes fell again. "Is the floor that interesting?"

Rin flushed at his teasing tone, "I-uhm… No." She gathered the courage to look up again and gasped. His eyes were no longer brown, but a crimson red with white pupils and his lids lined in a pale blue.

"Are you a… uhm, I think my friend called it, hanyou?"

The man's brows raised, "How perceptive. I knew there was something special about you."

"I didn't sense it or anything." Rin blurted out, "I just wanted to touch your hair." Oh, why did I just say that?

The man chuckled, "You would not be the first. Go ahead."

Rin gasped, "Really?!" He nodded. She reached for the lock of hair that was over his shoulder. It was soft, almost velvety, like petting a fuzzy caterpillar - definitely not what normal hair felt like to her. How does Sesshomaru's hair feel like? She imagined it was like silk threads, gliding smoothly through her fingers. She frowned, I'll never know.

"Disappointed?"

"Oh no, no! I just zoned out a bit there. Your hair is so soft!" Rin answered, taking a moment to examine the man. There was something about him that made her a bit uneasy, but she wasn't sure if it was just her mind conjuring up something irrational. She would try so hard not to let the past judge her present, especially when meeting new people.

Her brows furrowed, figuring out what unsettled her, "Your eyes… are kind of scary. Sorry..."

He smiled, "Humans carry an instinctual fear of spiders. It would be natural that you find something unsettling about my appearance."

"Half-spider? Do you swing around like Spiderman or…?"

This time the man outright laughed, "No, I do not."

Rin giggled at him, "I thought so."

"Do you speak to other monsters?"

"Uhm… I do." She lowered her voice further, "I'm not supposed to though."

"It is dangerous… especially full-blooded ones. Without a human heart, they are capable of the unthinkable."

She froze, "What do you mean? No human heart?"

"They don't feel emotion like humans. They run on instinct alone. Some of the more powerful ones adopt some code of honor, but it doesn't change what they are."

"But -" Rin bit her bottom lip. No, I shouldn't mention Sesshomaru.

"Poor girl. Are you friends with one? Is that why you can see through my guise effortlessly?"

"I… maybe."

"... Careful. You are too innocent to fall into the clutches of a monster…" He leaned forward, "Especially a daiyoukai. They play the long game for their prey."

"He wouldn't eat me." Rin protested. The man might have good intentions with his warning, but he didn't know anything about Sesshomaru.

"Not in the way you think."

Deja vu made her freeze, "What do you mean…?"

When the train announced the next stop approaching, the man glanced up. "This is my stop. It was nice meeting you, Ms…?"

"Rin. It was nice meeting you too, Mr…?"

"You may call me Naraku."

"Naraku…" Rin tested the name, "Maybe we'll meet again…"

"Hm, I'm sure we will, Rin." The man said before he departed the train. She decided to take a seat as the cart emptied, Naraku's words taking over her thoughts. No human heart. I guess that makes sense. They're not human but… Shiori's father loved her and her mom. And Sesshomaru's father brought a human to live with him… and Sesshomaru definitely felt things. Rin blinked, Mostly anger. She tapped a finger against her lips, Er, only anger.

He was either pissed, mildly annoyed, or just… calm, still, like a statue. It did look like he almost smiled in Sango's closet on Friday or that was her teenage imagination running wild. Rin blushed as her fingers idly played with the edge of the hardback cover. I wonder what his smile looks like. She then huffed, sliding back into the chair, I shouldn't be thinking it like that. She gasped, suddenly sitting up straight with a determined look, He's my friend. So his happiness should matter to me, that's not weird! I'll get him to smile!

Rin rushed out of the train the moment it reached her station, thinking of ways to get Sesshomaru to smile - even just a tiny one - as she walked home and found that… She had no idea how. I don't know what he likes. Her shoulders slumped while she opened her home's door, her greeting to her adoptive parents wasn't as enthused as it usually was, but they hardly noticed. Murder. He likes that I think, She thought with a shake of her head while she made her way upstairs and to her room. That wasn't something she could work with exactly.

Throwing her bag and book on the bed, she got another idea. Sesshomaru likes history! Then she sighed, But he doesn't get excited about it, he knows everything from the past 200 years. She fumbled with getting her homework out on the desk, before she sat and tried to work on it, only for her mind to continue thinking about Sesshomaru. Maybe he can't smile. If he didn't feel things the same way, perhaps he can't express them the same way either…. She wondered if she asked about, would he answer her?

Rin stared at the empty sheet in front of her that should have been filled out by now. She groaned in defeat, dropping head against the wooden desk. In a last-ditch effort, she grabbed her phone and opened the group chat that had Sango, Kagome, Shiori, and Shima.

"Let's say there's this older guy…" Rin decided as an opener. She should have known it was a terrible idea, but tiredness clouded her judgment.

"Kagome, you owe me a bento tomorrow," Was the first response from Sango. What's that supposed to mean?!

"No Rin! How could you?!" Kagome's answer made her blush. She didn't do anything!

"Ooh. An older gentleman? Do tell!" Shima responded. She could just imagine her giggling and getting settled in a seat all giddy.

"He's a friend!"

"How old is he?" Kagome asked.

Rin had no idea about his exact age, so she went by his appearance. "20." -ish? Maybe? It's better than saying over 200 or whatever his age is.

"A pervert." Came Sango's immediate reply.

"Oh, he's not old," Shima replied. It didn't help her that the one who was dating an older guy was defending her.

"He's a friend," Rin repeated. It fell on deaf ears or, rather, blind eyes. As the three continued bickering in the chat, she went to turn off her notifications when Shiori sent her a private message.

"What's going on?" She asked her hanyou friend if monsters could smile, laugh, and feel like they do and her response was a yes and no. "Father could fool anyone into thinking he was just human, especially after he fed from my Mom. He would always be smiling." The message read, "But she said he was MUCH more serious when she first met him." Rin could just hear Shiori's teasing voice as she read, "I don't think icicles can smile tho."

"Don't be mean! :("

After exchanging a couple of more messages, Rin put her phone on silence when she agreed to meet Shiori at her house after school tomorrow. Her gaze traveled to the window, the sky colored in shades of orange, pink, and purple. She smiled, with Shiori's words in mind, a plan to try something with Sesshomaru, and sundown's approach gave her a bit more energy. She didn't want just to fall asleep the second he got here! She rolled her sleeves up and began writing.

"Rin." She fell out of her seat, and Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at her clumsiness.

"What? When…?" The clock read 10:05 PM. She fell asleep and didn't do more than a third of her homework. "I'm so screwed." She groaned, her face in her hands as she accepted her fate.

"Neglecting your studies, I see." And she was going to get scolded by him? Rin peeked at him through her fingers and her breath caught in her throat. Did she mention her love-hate relationship when he wore modern clothing? While it generally made his missing limb more obvious - not that she cared - it also made other things more obvious, like his broad shoulders, trim waist - "Rin."

Oh no. And now she was busted for staring at hot guys the second time today. She quickly got up from the floor and adjusted her clothing. "Sorry. I just zoned out a bit there… again."

He frowned, "You have not been sleeping."

Rin sighed, before covering her face once more, "I look that bad, huh?"

"Hn."

Her hands dropped, and she half-heartedly scowled at him, "You weren't supposed to agree." Rin pouted when he simply raised an eyebrow, "I'll be back." She grumbled, slipping into her closet to change. She sighed in relief when she was in her simple tank and lounge pants, out of the constricting uniform-like clothing she wore to school.

When Rin stepped out of her closet, Sesshomaru had his back toward her as he flipped through the open textbook, his long silver hair in full view. Her fingertips itched to touch it, just a little bit! Knowing it wouldn't work, she snuck closer to him - he can totally hear me - and reached out to grab a small lock -

And it slipped through her fingers like silk, exactly as she imagined.

WHAT!? Rin was frozen in place and saw Sesshomaru's back tense. His head turned to look at her, his lips parted and eyes wide. She brought her out-stretched hand to her chest, covering it with the other. "S-sorry. I didn't think…"

"You touched me." He fully turned to face her.

Oh god, was that wrong? "I didn't mean to-"

"Again."

"Huh?" He knew that she heard him and Rin knew he wasn't going to repeat himself. She swallowed, eyes darting everywhere on him, "Where do I…?"

"It doesn't matter."

She chewed on her bottom lip as she brought her hand back up. Rin didn't know when, if ever, she would get this opportunity again, so she went after the second-most want to touch - his stripes! Her hand trembled a bit in spite of her but when it rested against his cheek, her nervousness was forgotten, and her thumb caressed the bright marking with care.

He isn't warm… She thought. He wasn't super cold either but the discovery still surprised her. Regardless, the texture of his alabaster skin felt soft and perfect, just as it looked. The moment was short-lived as soon his edge fizzled and her hand phased through him as usual. Rin frowned, her hand dropping back to her side. She met his eyes, but couldn't decipher the look he was giving her.

Rin shrugged, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. "I guess it was just 'a glitch in the matrix' or something…"

Sesshomaru said nothing to her. Rin tried to read his face but aside from a slight furrow in his brow, he gave nothing more away. He must be thinking hard about something. She remembered her mission to make him smile and wondered if she should just abort it now. It was best to stay silent until he spoke again. She moved around him to sit at her desk, bit back a yawn, and tried to start working on her homework again.

"Do you need assistance?"

Rin smiled at him, "That would be wonderful."

An hour in and she was losing the fight against her heavy eyelids. She would have face planted on the desk if Sesshomaru hadn't raised his voice just a bit to ask: "Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"This scary thing…" She yawned, "Tried coming out Sango's closet. I haven't been able to sleep well since." Rin finished with the hardest part of her homework, the last of it could wait until morning. She closed her book and looked up at the man next to her, leaning against her desk, "It had tentacles and something like poison gas, but then it just disappeared in a pink light like it was never there."

"Have you seen it again?"

"No, but I was worried because…" Her hand went to her throat as she stood up, remembering the burning sensation that persisted until Sunday morning, "It hurt, the gas, and burned for hours. It shouldn't have… right?"

"No, unless you believed it would." Rin let his words simmer while she turned off the desk light and walked to her bed. She tried to believe it couldn't touch her but she was terrified. Fear gripped her and she couldn't will it away. What was it going to do? Eat me? When she slipped her legs under her covers and relaxed her back against the headboard, she remembered her conversation on the train earlier.

"Not in the way you think."

"Can I ask you something?" He inclined his head as an invitation for her to continue. "Could you do what that incubus did?" When his eyes widened to the largest she'd ever seen them, she realized she had done a disastrous job at phrasing her question. Red-faced, she immediately started correcting herself, "I don't mean if you could do it now! I just meant are you able to do it?" That didn't change anything. "I mean, is that how you eat people? Their desires?"

Rin watched him relax, and let go of an exhale that almost sounded like a chuckle before replying, "When I was around the equivalent to your age, I did. Not often."

"Then what do you prefer?"

"Fear."

"Oh." Duh, Rin. What else? "How does that work?"

"Scare the human and absorb the emotion."

"How do you do that? Does it kill the person?"

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, "No. Why the sudden curiosity?"

"I was just wondering," Rin replied, rubbing a lock of her hair between her fingertips. It's not literally eating even if it is fear. That doesn't seem too dangerous then… but there has to be something else to it if he doesn't want me to talk to other monsters, right?

"What is your real question?"

She sighed, dropping her hands to her lap. "Would you ever eat me? I don't think you would."

"A monster would gain a good amount of power from you."

"I heard you're already pretty powerful."

"I always strive for more."

Rin pouted, "I probably don't taste good anyway."

"Hn."

Her eyebrow twitched, but she ignored his teasing, "Why fear? Why not something nice? Like happiness?"

"It is far more difficult and time-consuming to keep a fickle human happy than it is to frighten them."

"Well, you keep me happy. Have you ever tried?"

"... No…" It was the first time she heard him speak with anything less than complete confidence.

She wondered why "Then try!"

He broke eye contact, "No."

Rin frowned, "Why?"

"Happiness cannot be fed from."

"You just said you never tried."

"Why are you offering yourself to me?"

If Rin weren't so adamant about this, she would have blushed at his wording, "If you can, then you don't have to keep going around scaring people, right?" She began biting her lip when he just stared at her.

"No." He rose from the chair, and Rin knew she pushed too hard, but she had to do this!

"Wait -" When she grabbed his hand, he was solid again, and she held it tightly. "Why not?"

His lips pulled back, in a still voice, he asked, "What happened to your previous guardians?"

"They went crazy." She replied quietly, she squeezed the cold hand harder, ignoring when a claw nicked her skin, "I'm not them."

"Precisely. Release me."

"No, this isn't the same!"

Sesshomaru growled - he never growled at her, "I will not repeat myself."

"Neither will I." Her voice wasn't as steady as she wished.

"Why are you persistent?"

"Because Shiori told me that her father would feed off her mom and it made him happy. I just thought…" She trailed off, embarrassment finally catching up with her as her face heated up. "You've done so much for me. I thought I could do this for you."

Thankfully, her friend didn't push away again. He glanced at his captured hand, "You're bleeding." She slowly let go of, and he turned to face her. "Get up." Rin jumped up from the bed and stood in front of him, listening carefully. "I will not force myself in."

"Okay." She replied, despite not understanding what he meant. Then she felt the prickling sensation around her neck and scalp, "You've done this before."

"Whatever you feel is the equivalent of knocking the door. You have to open it."

Open the door? Okay… After a few minutes of nothing happening and her fumbling around in her head for an answer, Rin blurted out, "I have no idea what to do."

"Then I cannot."

Rin rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes, "I got this! … But a hint would nice." She sulked when he stayed silent, but her lips soon pulled into a smile, "You have no idea either."

"I've never asked, only taken." His tone was odd, lower than usual.

"Hmm…" She tapped her index finger against her lips, How do I…? Rin shut her eyes, thinking that should help but it didn't, and she almost fell asleep while standing.

"Enough."

"B-but!"

"You are exhausted."

Rin sighed because he wasn't wrong and it was already midnight, "Promise me we will try again?"

"Hn."

"That's not a yes." She sulked.

A tiny huff escaped him, "You have my word."

:-:-:

Sesshomaru returned to his realm a few minutes before sunrise. He was making his way to his study, far too lost in thoughts - to the point that he had literally bumped into his father outside his room. Sesshomaru stepped back, "Is something wrong, father?" It was unlike him to be waiting for him.

"I should be asking you." Touga crossed his arms into his sleeves, "You are never so distracted."

"It won't happen again."

His sire sighed, "That's not what I want to hear. What is weighing on you so heavily, my son?"

Sesshomaru often found the many questions sprouted from his visits to Rin on the tip of his tongue - but he would remember the countless of times his Lord Father put the first over the latter and abort the question, as he did now. "I will deal with it."

"I don't doubt you will, but you don't have to alone. I am here if you need me, you know that?"

"...Perhaps another time."

Twin golden eyes darkened in understanding, "Very well. Don't think I've forgotten to meet that girlfriend of yours."

Sesshomaru was tired of his father's baseless teasing, "We are not romantically entangled."

"Hmm." Touga's gaze drifted from his eyes to the side of his face - the side she touched - as if with purpose. ...Did I carry her scent here? He hadn't thought it would be possible. As the real sun caused everything youkai to disappear, the fake star in their realm eliminates any trace of what shouldn't be here. When he saw the corners of his father's eyes crinkle with a hint of mischief, he mentally cursed. "I won't bother asking how… I'm far too curious as to why you allowed it."

"This Sesshomaru does not need to explain himself to you." He finished with a glare, his speech pattern slipping into old habits. He stepped around his father and opted to leave the castle grounds instead. He didn't need his father baiting him while he was trying to understand himself. He shouldn't have allowed it. He should have told her no.

Her intentions were pure, just innocent curiosity. She didn't mean to offend or overstep, he reasoned. He was one who told her it didn't matter. Despite that, he still felt the warmth of her hand, fingers tracing his stripes with such care as if she knew the significance of her actions. Flying alone and now far from the castle, Sesshomaru brought his hand to his face and noted even the scent of her blood still lingered despite having cleaned it off earlier.

"Well, you keep me happy."

Ridiculous.

"I thought I could do this for you."

Absurd.

"Promise me we will try again?"

Reckless...

He felt the corner of his lips twitch, the makings of a small smile hidden behind his hand, Foolish woman.

End of Chapter 6

Author's Note: If ya'll don't remember, Shima is the 12-year-old girl that Miroku proposed to at one point before he joined the group. And I totally thought she needed to be in their little friend group for now lol.

There's probably going to be comments/questions about Naraku... And I can't comment on any of it. lol.

Hope everyone liked this chapter~! Thank you all for the favs, follows and reviews! :D