Chapter 2: Goodbye, all you people

How did this happen? It couldn't be real. He couldn't lose him, not after everything they just went through. And most of all, not like this.
Dean realized that Sam was still holding the gun in his limp hand. He reached for it and held it in his own hand. His eyes moved between Sam's still face and the weapon. A thought began to take form in his mind. What was the point in carrying on? In the part of a second he had lost everything worth living for so why should he keep figting now. What exactly was he fighting for?
He was startled by the ringing of his phone.
Bobby. He had completely forgotten about the older hunter and fumbled in his pocket to pull his phone out. The number on the screen confirmed his guess.
When he answered the phone he was glad to hear Bobby's voice.
„Dean. I need your help here. Get your brother and move your ass to the hospital, would ya?"
Dean couldn't talk. There was a lump in his throat and he knew that he would only start sobbing again if he tried to say something.
„Dean, come on. This is important ya idjit!" Bobby grumbled.
„Bobby-" Dean swallowed before he continued talking „Bobby, it's Sam- He-" he broke off.
„What is it, son? What happened to Sam?"
„Could you come here, please? I can't- I don't know what to do."
Bobby knew that something must be horribly wrong but he tried his best not to show his fear in his voice.
„Sure, just tell me were you two are and I'll get to you as fast as I can."
„I'm in one of the empty warehouses just outside town... The one closest to your place. Just- hurry. Please, Bobby."
„Of course, son. Just hold on a little longer."
Dean slowly lowered his phone and looked at Sam again. He noticed that he still held the gun in his hand. He looked at it for a moment thinking about his options. Then he threw it as far away from him an Sam as he could. He grabbed Sam's limp body and pulled him up to his chest, holding him as tight as he could. Dean remained in that position for the next minutes, ignoring the blood he felt trickling down his back.
After 15 minutes Bobby's car was audible outside and in the next moment the older hunter bursted through the door.
„Dean! Sam! What happened, boys?" he stopped abruptly when he saw the two of them sitting on the floor in an embrace.
„What's going on here?" Bobby asked, as he moved towards them. Dean looked up, tears on his face. Now Bobby was able to get a better look at Sam and what he saw made him gasp.
The boy had a goddamn hole in his head.
„Dean?" He asked cautiosly „What- Who did this?"
Instead of answering Dean just shook his head. After a few moments he seemed to be able to pull himself together and answered.
„I don't know- I- I mean I just just came in here and Sam had a fucking gun pointed to his head. I think he saw Lucifer and he- he just- I couldn't stop him. I tried to talk to him but I couldn't stop him and he-"
Bobby felt tears in his eyes but he ignored them for the moment. Later he would have time for that but not right now.
„It's okay, son. You couldn't have done anything."
„I should have! I am his brother- I should have been able to stop him."
Bobby put a hand on Dean's shoulder and tried to get him to calm down a little. He knew that Dean was right. They both should have done something. Damn, the boy was practically his son and he didn't even notice that those hallucinations were that bad.
„Come on. We should get him out of here don't ya think?"
Dean took a deep breath to calm himself and nodded. Slowly he stood up and tried to pull Sam's limp body up with him. When he couldn't lift him he just sank back to the floor and buried his face in Sam's blood-stained hair.
„Come on, Dean. Go to the car, I'll take him."
„No. No, he's my brother! I can do it. I have to-" Dean choked out.
„And he's practically my son. You don't have to do this, kid."
As a response Dean tried to lift Sam again, but he sank back to the floor like he did before. He was just too exhausted with emotion.
Bobby crouched down and took Sam from Dean's arms into his, like he was a kid who just fell asleep on the couch. They made their way towards the truck, Dean walking close beside him as if he wanted to make sure that his brother didn't knock his head at the door frame. Bobby lay Sam down on the backseat of the car and moved to get behind the wheel himself when he realized that Dean made no attempt of getting in the truck. Bobby grabbed his arm.
„Get in, son. You better don't drive on your own right now."
Dean felt numb as if he forgot how to move but he nodded slowly. To be honest he didn't care about his car or anything besides his dead little brother. First Cas, okay. He was his best friend but Dean tried to tell himself that the angel had betrayed them after all. He tried to tell himself that over and over again to make it a little easier. But Sam? He couldn't imagine to be without his little brother. Not again. He already lost him too many times. Cold oak. Hell. He kind of lost him again when he found out that Sam's soul was still in the cage. But it had never been like this. Sam just fucking shot himself! And Dean had no idea how he was supposed to handle this.
The ride back to Bobby's was entirely quiet. Dean turned to look at the backseat every few seconds, clinging to the childish hope that Sam would stir and open his hazel eyes. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe the next time Dean would turn around Sam would be smiling at him and bitching about him being ridiculously overprotective.
When they arrived at the salvage yard Dean got out of the car, pulled Sam into his arms and carried him to the house without saying a word. He put Sam's body onto the couch, where his blood stained the blankets. He dragged a chair across the room next to the couch as if he was preparing for a wake. The whole situation reminded Bobby of Cold Oak and he didn't like that at all. He was afraid that Dean might be repeating his actions and make a deal or come up with another stupid idea to bing his little brother back to life.
„Dean, I know what ya thinkin' about but-"
Dean didn't react at all. He just continued to stare at Sam, his face blank.
Bobby tried again, now he was getting angry.
„Damnit, son. If you consider doing anything stupid just stop, alright? This is what got us into this messed up situation in the first place!"
„So it's my fault."
„What? No ya idjit that's not what I meant!"
„But you're right. This would not be happening if I had been able to let him go back then. No hell, no Ruby, no Cas, no Lucifer, no cage for Sam, no wall, no cracks,-. I know. I know it. It's just-"
Without saying a word Bobby pulled Dean up from the chair and into his arms.
„It's okay, son."
Dean wasn't even able to answer. It was not okay and they both knew it but Dean didn't have the energy to argue. He just started to sob quietly into Bobby's shoulder and was glad that he was there. They remained in that embrace for a long time hoping that it would make anything better.
And maybe it would. Maybe they would get better.

Notes:

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