All for you
It was still warm out even though the sun had set a while ago being late august it was par for the course. Shit, Simon would be able to smell me too, only he could read me better. He would know I was lying if I used Jace daydreams as an excuse. He knew things were strained on my end, that I wasn't in love like I should be. Simon was my best friend he knew every thing.
Idly I wondered if I should just tell him all about Luke and my daydreams of a torrid affair. He would let me cry that my little crush could never flourish, that I would be stuck in the downward spiral of unrequited love. " CLARY" Simon screamed in a mix of amusement and frustration cause me to jump near a foot in the air. "uhh sorry Simon what were you saying?". " Clary we are almost at the institute and you haven't even noticed that I exist,You smell like arousal and sorrow, it's not a healthy mix. You know you can tell me whats on your mind right?" Simon questioned with sincerity.
Pulling him to a stop as I try to line up my thoughts, he obeys easily waiting to hear me out. "It's, uh, that I uhh, hmm... Simon I think I might be finally losing it." I manage to speak at least sort of. " I think I am falling in love with Luke, of maybe just lust. Its bad I can't even stomach the thought of touching Jace, or anyone else for that matter. I feel like a love sick puppy, and I doubt he could even look at me if he knew what was going I feel stupid. I am not and I will never be that damsel in fucking distress that needs someones approval."
Simon started laughing at me, actually laughing. Scowling at him until he noticed my angry gaze, thinking hard about lightning striking him where he stood. " Clary, this might be the only normal problem anyone we know has had in months. Luke is not your dad, he has admitted to us he saw your mom as a only sister, just tell him. At worse he can only say no, trust me when I say it is much worse not to tell someone how you feel to try to spare embarrassment.".
"Simon, I." I cut in hoping to be able to help him with his obvious sadness. " No Clare bear, we are helping you right now. Just like tomorrow at your party get under his skin, dress to kill. Get Izzy's help, she will support this, as you have supported her love with faeboy. Then once everyone leaves you can talk to him and just come clean." Simon said in a commanding tone, not really covering the clear emotions, Rolling of him in near tangible waves was a deep longing and despair.
Continuing the walk to training I was left to my thoughts in a comfortable silence. Luke would never be cruel to me, maybe he had different intentions but he loved me in some form or another. things might go a bit funny with my living there if he knew my thoughts. He would never kick me out or leave me alone. " Simon, I could just kiss you, you always know just what to say. Thanks for getting me to training. Love you." I had plans for tomorrow, plans that involved a little help from my only female influence.