Episode 8: New Teen Titans Go vs. Mother Mae Eye vs. The Return of the Ghost of Grandma Cyborg!
- Welcome, my readers, to a special hour long episode event! -
Kid Flash raced through the fleeing crowds, through Happy Times Amusement Park, Nightwing in his arms, headed towards the epicenter of the alien attack... that is, until spotting a few familiar boys brought him up short.
He came to a halt in front of Cyborg and Beast Boy. "Hey guys, what's happening?" He asked, setting his boyfriend down.
"Oh, hey Kid Flash." Beast Boy said. "Hey Robin."
"It's Nightwing now!" Nightwing shot back automatically.
"Dude, sorry. It's kind of a stressful sit'iation, if you hadn't noticed?" Beast Boy pointed out in the face of Robin's usual runaway insensitivity.
"What are you even talking about? It's an alien invasion, we've had like, what? Twelve of those or something already? Not to mention that time we thought it would be a GOOD idea to vacation on Starfire's home planet." Nightwing shivered a little internally, thinking about the bad times. "This should be old hat by now." He pointed out reasonably.
"Yeah, um, actually, I think this one might be a bit worse than your usual." Kid Flash pointed out.
"You think so? Why?" Nightwing asked, looking over to his boyfriend, then his gaze followed where Kid Flash was looking and he saw Aqualad laying there, totally thrashed, a buck naked and badly bruised Speedy holding him in his lap protectively.
"Yeah, that's why." Beast Boy said.
"Oh..." Nightwing said, looking to Cyborg. "How'd this happen?" He asked.
"Basically, this bunch of three-eyed alien girls riding these funky-wrong looking dragon things ganged up on us, talkin' all about like they was going to eat us and everything. I think they've got something to do with the pie lady that tried to eat you that one time? Anyway, we fought, they wailed on us, we managed to win in the end, but Aqualad took the worst of it, obviously. Oh, and there's probably a whole lot more of them heading our way from one of those space ships of theirs, could be here any second, I expect." Cyborg explained, being the undisputed master of alacrity in exposition that he was.
"Oh, ha ha, is that all. You had me worried there for a minute." Nightwing said back, feeling like he might be on the verge of panicking a little, but trying to hide it. Call him selfish, but he really didn't want to get eaten by teenage girls from outer space. Would it really be such a bad thing to let Raven's team handle this one?
Kid Flash smacked him on the back of the head.
"Ow! What'd you do that for?" He asked plaintively, even though it hadn't actually hurt.
"Head in the game, boy wonder." His boyfriend told him.
"Yeah, okay. Jeeze, domestic abuse much?" Nightwing complained.
"Yeah, whatever." Kid Flash smirked.
Then Nightwing got hit with a sleep gun ray and promptly fainted. Cyborg went down next, and Kid Flash only barely managed to snatch Beast Boy out of the way before he got zapped too.
In a second, Kid Flash glanced around and saw three of the girls that had been previously laying in a heap (where Beast Boy had left them unconscious after he'd whaled on them) had them in their cross-hairs. Two others were closing in on those dragon things of theirs, brandishing nets.
Leaving Salad Boy to fend for himself behind a cart selling stuffed animals, he ran at the three girls on the ground, easily dodging their ray blasts (even if the beams themselves were moving at the speed of light, the girls shooting them weren't). He had them disarmed before they knew what was going on. "Yeah, hi. We haven't me. I'm Kid Flash. Guess what I can do?" He asked, using one of the sleep guns to shoot all three of them in quick succession, then taking aim at the two dragon riding ones in the air and hitting them too, smirking in satisfaction as they fell from the sky.
"Am I good, or am I good?" Kid Flash asked Beast Boy a second later, having moved at super speed so he was standing beside his appropriately awestruck teammate.
"Um, yeah. You've got the moves, alright." Beast Boy was forced to admit. "What are we going to do now though?" He asked.
"Well, first." Kid Flash flipped the switch he'd noticed on the ray gun he was holding, then he shot Nightwing and Cyborg with them. "I was thinking we'd wake our boyfriends up."
And sure enough the two boys blinked their eyes open and sat up right on cue.
"Ooh, what happened?" Nightwing asked.
"Oh, nothing much. I just saved the day, as usual. No thanks necessary, it's just what I do." Kid Flash said, watching as his boyfriend got to his feet. "On second thought..." He sped in and bent Nightwing over in his arms, giving him a deep and lingering kiss. "Maybe you can thank me, just a little." He said, setting him back on his feet.
Nightwing blushed at that. "Um, yeah. Thanks, boyfriend."
Speedy scoffed at that. "Get a room."
Nightwing looked at him, tempted to say I'll get a room when you get some pants, but Speedy was injured, so he decided now wasn't the time.
"Think you're so clever, don't you?" A loud, familiar voice came from above and seemingly all around them.
All heads turned and looked up, to see a giant holographic Mother Mae Eye head projected in the sky, looking right at them.
"Not so clever after all, as it turns out." She tutted.
"Shows what you know!" Cyborg countered. "We just whopped your ass, ain't that right, boys?"
There was just silence though, and, dreading what he'd see, Cyborg looked, seeing his teammates (minus Aqualad, who was passed out from shock) arrayed around him, turned into Mother Mae Eye's hypnotized minions from having made the mistake of looking up into her big old holographic eye.
"Well, dang. That sure turned around on me fast, now didn't it?" Cyborg mused aloud.
"Afraid so, dearie. Get him!" Mother Mae Eye cackled.
So Nightwing, Kid Flash, Beast Boy, and naked Speedy all growled menacingly and tackled him. He fought back, gave a good showing of himself, but it was no use. Soon, he was trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey and being carried off in a net up to Mother Mae Eye's space ship.
His only source of hope was that, while this had been happening, he saw one of the two smaller ships turn to attack the others.
It was probably Raven and Starfire's team, he considered, again ruing the day he'd let Robin talk him and Beast Boy into being all chivalrous and everything.
It really had not been a good life decision, in retrospect.
Now, switching back to Blackfire's troublesome predicament...
She was just about ready to try the zap Raven and damn the consequences option, when the sleep rays that had been trying to put her to sleep stopped, and she heard a small explosion up in the sky.
Warily, she poked her head out and saw that the eye from the space ship that had been shooting at her had been put out. In the sky, one of those lopa things Zemrals liked to ride was heading her way too. She closed her hands into fists and made them glow, her eyes too, ready for a fight, except she caught sight of Rose riding on the lopa's back behind a Zemral girl, waving to her with one of her swords, the blade's edge catching the sunlight and making it shine.
Blackfire blinked, confused. "Okay, unexpected." She commented to herself as the lopa brushed by her, the wake of its passing ruffling her hair, and Rose jumped down next to her.
"Miss me?" Rose asked playfully, moving in to give her a kiss hello.
Blackfire gratefully let herself be kissed. "You rescued me." She told her a little shyly, once the kiss was over.
"Aw, that's so sweet. You're in love." Shimmer said, finding Rose and Blackfire's kiss completely adorable, and yet more proof that humans should not be eaten.
Blackfire turned to her, suspicious. "And who are you supposed to be, Zemral girl?" She asked.
"Oh, right. She's Shimmer." Rose explained. "She's on our side, as it turns out."
"That's me alright. Hi Rose's girlfriend." Shimmer added. "How'd you know what my species is called, by the way?" She asked, curious.
"...Hi." Blackfire said. "And I know because I've met some of you before, when I was traveling through other dimensions on a... trading expedition." That was putting it generously (really, she'd mostly been stealing things for fun and profit, but that was neither here nor there at the moment). She turned to Rose. "Just checking: You... do know they all eat people, right?"
"I don't, at least not once I found out what my mom was putting in the pies she gave us to eat." Shimmer offered. "Promise."
"She eats cats now, apparently." Rose explained.
Blackfire stared at Shimmer a long moment, then started giggling uncontrollably. It was too priceless.
"Um, what's so funny, exactly? That I eat cats? They taste good, really!" She pleaded. "It's not weird." She defended herself, now officially annoyed with this girl for laughing at her for what she ate. (It was a sensitive subject with her, because her sisters all thought she was a freak because of it.)
"No, no, I'm sorry, really." Blackfire said, trying to stop herself from giggling, but not succeeding all that much. "Just, please, can I be the one to tell my sister?"
Rose had to giggle at that too.
"What?" Shimmer asked, feeling like she was just not getting something. "What?" She asked again.
Rose giggled. "Her sister really... really likes cats. It's a whole thing. There was a convention... and costumes..."
"Don't tell her that." Blackfire said. "It's embarrassing." She complained, still unable to stop giggling. This was the best thing ever... well, maybe not the best thing (that was obviously the lots of sex and romance she'd been having with Rose lately), but she was sure nonetheless that she'd treasure this moment in her heart for the entire rest of her life.
"Okay..." Shimmer said. "And... this is a problem for me?" She asked Rose.
Rose shrugged. "I'll protect you." She offered.
Blackfire giggled all the more, tears falling now. "Stop, stop, I can't take any more." She pleaded, her sides actually starting to hurt, she was laughing so much.
Shimmer sighed. "I don't get it." She lamented.
Rose shrugged. "It's a sisters thing. You probably get that, at least, right?"
"Unfortunately." Shimmer admitted, scrunching up her face in distaste.
"Right... Well, I'll just go wake up our teammates before we're attacked by those sisters of yours again then." Rose offered, turning Pan's sleep ray gun (which she'd kept, of course) to its wake you up setting and shooting Raven and Starfire with it.
Blackfire looked up at the sky to check on their foes, all the while still trying to stop giggling. What she saw there did the trick. There was a giant holographic projection of an old Zemral lady there, coming from the biggest of the three ships. "Whoa, what's that about?" She asked, even as the old lady started to talk.
"Think you're so clever, don't you?" The old lady said.
"She's not talking to us. Wonder who's got her attention?" Blackfire mused.
"Momma." Shimmer said, identifying the woman and being apprehensive, and a little regretful, about it.
"Not so clever after all, as it turns out." Shimmer's momma continued.
"That's your mom?" Rose asked, even as Raven and Starfire woke up.
"What is happening?" Starfire asked.
Raven groaned. "Mother Mae Eye's leading an alien invasion, I'm guessing." She said, getting up from the ground to hover, offering Starfire a hand up. "Always wondered what was going on with that third eye of hers."
"She's a Zemral hive queen." Blackfire explained.
"Afraid so, dearie. Get him!" Mother Mae Eye cackled.
"That cannot be of the good." Starfire observed.
"At least she's not after us." Blackfire looked on the bright side.
"Um, I know I've been out of it for a while." Raven put in. "But what's her story?" She asked about Shimmer.
"Her name's Shimmer, she switched sides when she decided she didn't want to eat people and decided to help us instead. She's got a human girlfriend named Wendy." Rose explained.
"Go ahead, ask me what she eats instead of humans." Blackfire teased her sister.
"What does she eat?" Starfire asked innocently.
"I eat cats." Shimmer admitted apprehensively, having decided she was better off saying it herself, rather than letting Blackfire do it. "Please don't hurt me?"
Starfire gasped and Blackfire broke down into giggles again.
"You... eat the kittens?" Starfire asked. "The cute, snugly, precious little kittens?" She asked in a squeak, as though the idea of it physically pained her.
"Um, yes? Only, well, not the small ones, the big ones." Shimmer illustrated sizes with her hands, hoping this would help. "Preferably, I like the plump ones." She explained.
Starfire fainted, and Raven caught her. "Now see what you've done?" Raven narrowed her ayes accusingly at Blackfire, blaming her for this because it was clearly her fault.
"Yeah..." Blackfire managed to get out, still giggling inconsolably. "I feel so horrible about it. Really." She offered, secretly wishing she'd thought to buy one of those Earth cellphone things so she could've taken a video of this. She'd have paid a lot of money to have that faint to watch over and over and over again.
Raven growled. "Knock it off." She said, punching Blackfire with one of those black magic fists of hers. She didn't do it as hard as she would have if she were a villain or something, but she made sure it would hurt. She couldn't help herself. There were just some lines you didn't cross with her and not expect there to be consequences. "Jerk." She muttered.
"Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." Shimmer put in.
Raven cringed a little. "Not your fault." She said.
Shimmer let out a relieved breath. "Thank goodness."
"Just... don't talk about it when my girlfriend's around from now on, okay?" She asked. "Not unless she asks you or something, I mean."
"Right. Promise." Shimmer agreed earnestly, and not just a little fearfully. Actually finding Raven more intimidating than she'd found Rose at first, and she hadn't thought that was a thing that was even possible.
Starfire came too. "Oh, I had the most awful of dreams." She said, getting to her feet and looking around. Blackfire was coming back over, looking daggers and Raven. Starfire's gaze fell on Shimmer then. "You!" She accused, pointing accusingly at her.
"Um, yeah, it's me." Shimmer admitted.
Starfire's eyes sparked and her hands made the fists, she shot eyebeams at Shimmer, who yiped and jumped out of the way, hiding behind Rose. "Save me?" She pleaded with her.
"She is a monster! A monster!" Starfire shouted at her, even as Raven and Blackfire held her back from attacking again.
"Woah, hey, I'm sorry—knock it off already, Jeeze!" Blackfire told her.
"Calm down—please honey, for me? We've kind of got other problems right now." Raven pleaded.
Starfire attempted to calm herself, narrowing her eyes on Shimmer in continued accusation. "She has to do the promise, not to do the kitten eating ever again."
"But I..." Shimmer started to say.
"Promise!" Starfire demanded.
"I promise." Shimmer cringed away meekly, even though she had no idea what else besides people she could even eat on this planet... This could be a real problem for her, she was realizing. Rose and Blackfire had clearly undersold the danger.
Starfire took a deep, cleansing breath. "...Fine." She agreed at last. "But I will be the watching you." She said to Shimmer. "Closely..." She added menacingly.
Shimmer shivered. "Um, yeah... okay." She agreed.
Raven let out a breath, relieved.
"Sheesh, overreact much?" Blackfire groused.
Raven growled at her, going all six glowing red eyes and sharp, sharp teeth in the process. "Apologize." She gritted out to Blackfire.
Blackfire's eyes widened and she gulped. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry." She said, backing up, hands up in front of her placatingly.
"Not to me, to your sister. Tell her how sorry you are for being an insensitive jerk to her... again." Raven insisted.
Blackfire let out a breath and looked over to her sister, who was looking back at her, looking all hurt and vulnerable, lower lip trembling. Guilt cut through her heart like a knife at that look, and she felt about three inches tall. She went over to her sister. "I'm sorry, sis." She told her, sincerely, moving in to give her a hug, which she knew her sister would like.
Starfire hugged her back, holding her tight and sniffling. "You can be so mean to me sometimes." She said.
"I know, I promise I... I promise I'll try to do better, okay?" She asked, actually finding that she meant it. She really had been kind of a jerk, she realized belatedly. She should have known better, but it had just been... so funny. She'd let her old way of thinking about her sister take over without even realizing...
"Okay..." Starfire said, voice soft, burying her head in her sister's hair and finding comfort in having her close.
"There, um, now... feel better?" Blackfire asked.
"Mm-hmm." Starfire said, smiling hopefully to her.
"Um, well, good then..." Blackfire said, tentatively returning the smile.
Starfire kissed Blackfire on the cheek then. "Sister." She said, before going to go back to Raven, who'd been watching on, bemused. "Girlfriend..." She said softly, moving in to give her a kiss that was very much not on the cheek.
Raven melted gratefully into the kiss, feeling better instantly. She'd been feeling edgy from having gotten so mad at Blackfire for being so stupidly insensitive to her sister, and she was glad she could trust Starfire to recognize that and help her calm down again. She especially and wholeheartedly approved of her calming methods.
"They kind of make a good couple, you know?" Shimmer said, of Starfire and Raven.
"Why's that?" Rose asked, curious.
"They're both, you know, really scary." Shimmer explained.
Rose giggled. "Yeah, you're probably right about that, actually." She admitted, knowing she sure wouldn't want to be on either Raven or Starfire's bad sides. "What are you going to eat now, though?" Rose asked as Blackfire came over to stand with them.
Shimmer shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. I'll have to think about it."
"We could just feed her the villains we catch or something, you know?" Raven put in, her kissing session with Starfire over. Even the few kisses they'd shared had her feeling much more centered though. Kissing Starfire was even better than watching Pretty Pretty Pegasus for centering her... Not that she was about to give up watching her favorite show, because she wasn't.
Rose looked at her. "I thought you said I wasn't allowed to cut off people's heads anymore?" She pointed out.
Raven shrugged. "Eh, maybe if it's for a good cause..." She considered. Making Starfire happy was always a good cause, in her book, maybe the best cause, and well worth the cost of a few extra villains. Besides, if they thinned the villain heard a little maybe there would be more time for, you know, other things? ...No, then there'd just be more anthropomorphized couches and sandwiches to contend with probably. Still, could be worth it...
The conversation was cut short by the sounds of one of the two smaller alien ships moving to attack the other. They all looked up at the sky and saw it happening.
"Time to get back to work?" Rose asked.
"Yeah..." Raven had to agree. "Looks like it."
Up in the sky, Gizmo laughed his evil genius laugh as he piloted the ship he'd just hacked into obeying his every command, pointed it at the ship next to them, and fired lasers at it (there didn't used to be lasers, but he'd reprogrammed the ship's sleep rays into lasers, so there were lasers now). "Take this, creepy alien invader girls! And this and this and this!" He crowed, firing the lasers again and again and again, until the other ship started to fall from the sky and crash into the amusement park below. "That's what you get when you go up against the H.I.V.E., suckers!" He gloated, making to turn the lasers on the big ship. He didn't get the chance though, because a growling Nightwing landed on the console in front of him.
"Nightwing? What the heck, dude-" He started to say, but Nightwing was swinging at him with that stupid staff of his and he had to jump to the side, out of his command chair, to get out of the way.
"Mother says you have to pay!" Hypnotized Nightwing hissed, swinging again and hitting him out of the air as Gizmo tried unsuccessfully to use his flying harness to run away. He hit the ship's deck and rolled.
"Damn, that boy can hit..." Gizmo muttered, looking up to see his boyfriend, Mammoth. "Little help here?" He asked, hopeful, only to have his hope dashed as she saw Beast Boy fighting his boyfriend.
He looked up in time to see Nightwing take another swing at him and connect. "Oh, look at all the pretty little birdies..." Gizmo said, non-sensate, falling unconscious.
"Heh, heh..." The hypnotized Nightwing said, sounding creepy.
"Get off him, jerk!" Jinx could be heard to say then, coming into the room and zapping a hex at Beast Boy, who'd been in the shape of a huge gorilla who'd gotten on her brother's back and had been hitting him while Mammoth hadn't been able to reach him to get him off. The hex made Beast Boy turn into a clumsy ostrich who squawked and ran around until he hit his head against a wall.
"Thanks..." Mammoth said, having slumped forward onto one knee to catch his breath, grateful to his sister for the help.
"Hey, what are sisters for?" Jinx asked, smiling.
"Heh, heh, heh... More meat for Mother's larder..." Nightwing said, raising his staff and charging at them.
Terra flung a rock at his head and he went down. She shivered. "Was it me, or was that just... really creepy?" She asked.
"Not you." Billy-Numerous said.
"Yeah, that was all kinds of messed up was what that was." See-More agreed, him and his boyfriend having just gotten back from being rescued from being turned into burgers by three-eyed teenage girls. The rescue would've come too late, but there'd been a burgers versus burritos debate that ate up time and gave Jinx and Terra the time to save them.
A net fell over Mammoth's head then and he fell over, asleep. Around them were twelve Zemral girls on dragon mounts. "Naughty food. Stop being bad." One of the girls taunted, firing a sleep ray at Jinx.
"Oh no you don't!" Billy cried, jumping in front of her to take the hit. It was only one of the Billys though, because he was in the process of duplicating himself a bunch of times to give them more Billy power.
"Ooh, unlimited food supply." One of the girls said, her and her sisters starting to look at Billy with obvious food avarice.
Jinx clenched her teeth. "No one gets to mess with my brother, or my friends!" She shouted at them, stepping forward and calling up her magic as she spun in a circle, sending out hex curses at all of the dragon riding girls at once in waves.
Around them, the twelve girls all started to develop very, very bad luck all at once! Their dragons became uncoordinated, they became clumsy, their sleep guns and nets short-circuited. Most of them fell, two flew off in odd directions, their mounts spooked.
"Damn..." See-More said. "Guess all that time playing super heroes didn't put you off your game at all, then." He complemented.
Just then, the big ship spun around and it's giant eye fell upon them. It fired. Terra gathered the fragments of her drill and made a shield. It held, but barely, only hitting some of the extra Billys. "Nasty human children!" Mother Mae Eye accused. "You aren't going to beat me, not this time! My daughters are hungry!"
"Yeah... I've got this." Terra said, gathering up her power, her eyes starting to grow bright.
There was a rumbling from down below and then a giant spike made of rock burst up from under the Mother ship and speared it through the center like a shish kabob, carrying it up and away from them from the momentum of the blow.
Terra collapsed to her knees. "Phew..." She said, letting out a breath and whipping the sweat from her forehead. "So, that wasn't easy..." She said, just as Jinx came over to her, concerned.
"You okay?" Jinx asked softly, touching her cheek.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm alright. That one just took it out of me, you know?" She admitted.
Jinx smiled to her. "You were really brave." She told her.
"Yeah, well, you kind of set a good example, you know?" Terra replied, quirking a smile.
Jinx kissed her then, because she couldn't stand not to. Terra's lips were just far, far too kissable. She was sure she was hopelessly addicted to them by this point, actually.
Right then, the sound of someone landing on the bridge deck next to them startled them into breaking their kiss. "Hey guys." Rose greeted them. "Sorry for interrupting." She offered them an embarrassed smile.
"Rose?" Jinx asked.
"Hey." Raven said.
Terra looked around and was relieved to see the rest of their team—Raven, Starfire, and Blackfire—were there too... She started to her feet then though, spotting the alien with them. "What the...?" She moved to shield Jinx from her.
"Relax, that's just Shimmer. She's on our side." Rose explained.
"Hi." Shimmer greeted shyly.
"Um, hi?" Terra offered.
"Hi, I'm Jinx." Jinx greeted her, stepping out from behind her girlfriend and offering her a smile.
Shimmer felt immediately better. "Hi." She said again, returning the warm smile, already feeling like this was a girl she could really be friends with.
The introductions were cut short though, when the sky above them started to crackle like lightning. They all looked up and saw the sky darkening as a beam from the Mother ship was opening a giant dimensional portal in the sky above them. They could hear Mother Mae Eye's cackling then. "You think you've won, don't you?" Her holographic head taunted. "You haven't won! This is just the beginning! Once my sisters get here, the banquet will begin in earnest, and you're all on the menu!" She cackled.
"I recognize that place..." Blackfire said. "I think that's their home planet."
"Come on girls." Raven said. "Our job's not over yet."
Raven, Starfire, and Blackfire started to fly up. Rose got on back of Shimmer's lopa (her name was Batty, btw) and headed off too. Terra called a boulder to her, formed out of the big rock spike she'd made, and Jinx got on with her.
"Hey." Billy called. The two girls looked back at Billy and See-More. "Be careful up there, okay?" He offered.
Terra smiled. "We will." She said.
"See you soon." Jinx added, and they were off, following up into the sky for the final battle with Mother Mae Eye, trusting that Billy and See-More would look after the rest of the unconscious boys they were leaving behind.
"This ain't right—this ain't right at all-ll-ll!" Cyborg wailed piteously as two of Mother Mae Eye's daughters, Whimsy and Mimsy, finished reprogramming him. They'd taken him apart and done invasive and embarrassing things with his robot parts while he'd watched, and he just wanted this all to be over with. He wanted to be sharing pizza with Beasty and making out in front of sock puppets on the TV again. Was that really so much to ask in life?
"Prepare to launch!" Mother Mae Eye told her daughters.
"Yes momma." Whimsy and Mimsy both answered in unison.
"Soon, my boy. Soon, my sisters will be here, and it'll be all your fault, grandma." She told him snidely.
Grandma... grandma... grandma... The word echoed in Cyborg's head, down his robotic spine, down into the ship, through the rock of Terra's big, big spike, down into the Earth and across the bay, out to the lawn around Titans Tower where a certain gravestone marked the passage of a once-beloved grandma...
"Aw no she didn't!" The ghost of Grandma Voice said, rising from the grave, a rolling pin in her hand that she shook in rebuke at the heavens above.
Ghost Grandma Voice activated her rocket boots then, and she flew off, right towards her arch enemy's space ship, intent on knocking some SENSE into all kinds of heads today.
"Lunching... I mean launching the bacon beacon in five..." Whimsy started the countdown to Cyborg's liftoff. "Four..." They'd called him bacon beacon, because he was going to be their beacon to call Mother Mae Eye's people here to Earth. "Three..." Where they would proceed to make lots and lots of people bacons out of the Earth people they found here. "Two..." Because the two girls who'd made him a bacon beacon, they both really liked eating people bacon. "One..." Much to their momma's consternation, because she'd assumed when she decided to have daughters that they'd all like pie as much as she did. No such luck though.
"And we have lift off." Mimsy said in satisfaction at their job well done.
Cyborg's rocket boots activated on cue (he couldn't stop them), and he rose into the air, emerging into the open sky. Once he was up a little ways, he saw Raven's team battling a swarm of Mother Mae Eye's daughters in an attempt to stop her.
Just then, the ghost of Grandma Voice hit him, and he got the bacon beacon slapped right outta him!
The now freed Grandma Cyborg, hair curlers and all, looked down at Mother Mae Eye, and their eyes met, animosity sparking like a live wire between them. "Ohhh honey child, you dun done it now!" Grandma Cyborg said, raising her rolling pin and turning her rocket boots in midair to go in a'charging.
"Come and get some!" Mother Mae Eye taunted back eagerly, brandishing a mixing spoon, pointing it at Grandma Cyborg, and shooting her with a laser shot from the end of it.
The shot hit home and Grandma Cyborg crashed into some of the panels on the ship's bridge. "Oh, no she did not! Gramma's gonna teach you better, best you believe!" Grandma Cyborg said, emerging from the smoke and the shower of sparks from her crash.
"Bring it, you fashion challenged fake, you." Mother Mae Eye challenged, narrowing her eyes on her enemy.
And so, it was brought.
Whimsy and looked at Mimsy then. "So... we should probably be sending up the backup beacon right about now, right?" Whimsy asked her sister.
"I'm thinking that's a yes." Mimsy agreed, pressing the button to launch the backup bacon beacon.
On cue, a sleeping (and still naked) Speedy was shot into the sky in a rocket pod, broadcasting There's more where this came from—come and get it! from its transmitter.
The giant portal to another dimension crackling menacingly above them, our heroines battled fiercely to win through, even as Speedy's bacon beacon pod was launched into the portal in the sky above.
"Is that Speedy in that thing?" Terra asked.
"Yeah, looks like." Raven agreed, bashing another of the swarm of Zemrals out of the sky with her shadow magic. "Who's free to go get him?" She called to her teammates.
"I will go!" Starfire offered, zooming off after the quickly speeding up Speedy.
"Go get'm sis!" Blackfire called after her, dodging a sleep ray and firing back.
"Rose, Shimmer! Take Jinx and go find a way to turn that portal off once Starfire gets back with Speedy!" Raven gave her orders. "The rest of us will cover you!"
"On it!" Rose answered. "Come on Shimmer, let's go."
"Right." Shimmer agreed nervously, dodging one of her sisters who called her a bad name and going to swoop past Terra and Jinx.
Rose held out a hand to Jinx, who caught it and the three of them headed down for Mother Mae Eye's Mother ship, Raven, Blackfire, and Terra clearing the way for them as they went.
"You ain't gonna win, you stanky people-eating old bitty. You just ain't. Best you reconcile yourself to that, right now!" Grandma Cyborg said as she grappled with Mother Mae Eye, who wasn't giving an inch.
"Just you wait, you uptight, trumped up, oil can so and so! You're going down!" Mother Mae Eye shot back, doing a judo move and falling back, rolling Grandma Cyborg over her and tossing her head first into the wall.
Just then, Jinx stepped in between Cyborg and Mother Mae Eye. "How about you try that on me?" Jinx said, just daring her to try.
Elsewhere on the ship's bridge, Rose was sword fighting with Mother's daughters, making her way towards the control center, Shimmer backing her up with her sleep ray gun.
Whimsy and Mimsy looked at one another, worried. "Is it bad that I want to run away right now?" Mimsy asked her sister.
Whimsy shook her head. "Nuh-uh. I was thinking the same thing, but... Momma would be mad at us if we did that, wouldn't she?" She asked Mimsy, as though hoping her sister would tell her that she was wrong about that. They'd been raised to be the scientists after all, not to be hunters like most of the rest of their sisters.
Mother Mae Eye fired a spoon laser at Jinx, who dodged and shot one of her hexes back at her, which hit it's mark. "Ha!" Jinx gloated.
"Wha happened?" Cyborg said, coming around, the Grandma Voice having gotten smacked right out of him again.
"Aw, what's the matter, having performance anxiety again, whippersnapper?" Mother Mae Eye taunted.
"Honey Child, may I please have this dance?" The Ghost of Grandma Voice asked Jinx.
"Um, yeah, sure, why not?" She agreed.
"Thank you, dear." Ghost Grandma Voice patted Jinx on the head and then slid into her body, doing the ghost possession thing.
A bust of light flashed out of Jinx as she got the added ghost power addon, knocking Mother Mae Eye to the ground. "Oh, you are in for it now, yes you are!" Grandma Jinx taunted, winding up a hex into the shape of a giant rolling pin and smashing some SENSE into Mother Mae Eye with it.
Whimsy and Mimsy exchanged looks again then, and Whimsy nodded. "Um, so yeah..."
"We are so out of here." Mimsy agreed, the two of them making as unobtrusive a getaway as they could manage.
And, back across the room, when whomping Mother Mae Eye once with her SENSE inducing rolling pin didn't seem to do the job, Grandma Jinx was forced to hit her again and again (until the SENSE stuck properly, you understand), before vanishing the rolling pin and brushing her hands of imaginary cooking flower. "There now, doesn't that feel better?" She asked her defeated foe.
"I give up..." A dazed and world-weary Mother Mae Eye finally said, before promptly passing out.
"And that, dear ones, is how we deal with stubborn cockroaches back home where I come from, best not be doubting it." Grandma Jinx gloated, even as the ghost of Grandma Voice departed her.
"Wait, grandma, don't go?" Cyborg pleaded.
Grandma Voice went over and patted him on the head. "Now don't you go fretting, darling child. I'll always be here when you need me, don't you fear. Children got to do their own growing up though, and that's just the way of things. Be good now." She told them as she floated up and faded away.
"Well... that was fun." Jinx said, doing a pirouette and feeling happy about how things turned out. "How'd things go with you two?" She asked Rose and Shimmer.
"Um, all set on our end, I guess?" Rose answered.
Shimmer went over and hugged Jinx. "You were so cool." Shimmer told her.
"Yeah, I kind of was, wasn't I?" Jinx admitted, smiling and hugging Shimmer back, already feeling like Shimmer was destined to be her friend forever.
Meanwhile, up above, Starfire flew through the churning storm of other-dimensional space, racing up, up towards the alien planet beyond, in pursuit of Speedy, who needed her help!
She had almost reached him, when she saw what was coming her way: alien space ships, ones that looked just like the ones the Mother of the Mae Eyes had been using to terrorize the people of the Happy Times Amusement Park. She had also used them to ruin her double date, depriving her of her and Raven's visit to the zoo of the petting—an offense against her that Starfire had not forgotten, or forgiven.
She put on even more speed, catching up just as Speedy's bacon beacon pod came close to falling into the alien people-eater's clutches. Starfire did manage to get in front of it in the nick of the times though, halting its progress and putting herself in between the Speedy and the alien space ships menacing him.
Before her, the lead Mother ship opened it's big eye and looked right at her. "You are not welcome at the Happy Times Amusement Park anymore!" Starfire shouted at the eye in defiance, gathering up her star energy and giving the eye her most powerful eye blasts.
The eye blew up and the ship started smoking, listing to the side and falling back, the other ships moving to help their injured leader ship.
"Now is my chance." Starfire said to herself, hugging the Speedy's bacon beacon pod to her and pushing, building up speed and racing back for the dimensional portal, even as some of the alien ships decided to chase after her to get revenge on her for what she had done to their leader's ship.
Meanwhile, inside the corridors of Mother Mae Eye's ship, Whimsy and Mimsy ran for a shuttle pod they knew about. They passed two of their sisters, Spicy and Cinnamon (who were twins) as they went. "Where are you two going?" Spicy asked, confused.
"Running away." Mimsy told her.
"Momma's so gonna lose this for us." Whimsy added.
"You should come with us." Mimsy added, thinking they really could do with a couple hunters to protect them... and maybe make out with?
"Should we?" Cinnamon asked her twin.
Spicy shrugged. "If she's losing, why should we go hungry?" She answered reasonably. "I say we go with them."
"Yeah, okay. Where to?" Cinnamon asked, feeling only a little guilty for what they were doing. Still, it didn't make sense to get caught by their enemies too, if they could avoid it.
"We know where there's a shuttle." Whimsy told them.
And they all made a run for it.
"What should we do once we get away?" Spicy asked as she and Cinnamon piled into the shuttle behind the other two.
"I'm thinking we could go into growing human clones for livestock purposes." Mimsy said, having been putting some thought into this as she and her sister had been making their break for it.
"But momma said that wasn't sporting enough." Whimsy complained. "And that it was against tradition."
"Yeah, I know. It's prefect." Mimsy said.
Whimsy thought about it, and realized her sister was completely right (as usual). "Yeah, you're right. Let's do it." She agreed, hitting the launch button.
Cinnamon giggled. "Clones. That's so bad."
"I think it's sensible." Spicy said, considering that Mimsy was looking very kissable to her right about now.
Back on Mother Mae Eye's bridge, Raven had tied up all the Zemrals (at least the ones that hadn't gotten away), Mother Mae Eye included, with her shadow demon magic, and the whole team, plus Cyborg, was waiting with baited breath for Starfire to return to them. "I should go up there." Raven said for the second time.
"Chill already." Blackfire said. "She's got this. Don't ruin the moment."
"Yeah, have faith in her." Jinx added.
Raven let out a breath. "I do have faith in her. I guess I just worry sometimes, that's all. I mean, I swear, if anything ever happened to her, I think I'd go crazy like my dad does sometimes and, you know, that really wouldn't be good... for anybody." She admitted gravely in a small voice.
"Um, yeah, on second thought, maybe you should go up there after all." Terra put in, taking a step away from Raven, all the sudden remembering why she'd been so scared of her before.
"You think I should?" Raven asked Terra.
"Wait, here she comes." Rose spoke up.
Raven looked up and a relieved smile came to her lips as she floated up off into the sky to go meet her girlfriend when she got back.
"Um, yeah, okay Shimmer, you ready to close that thing when I give the word?" Rose asked. "It looks like she's got some of your aunties chasing her home."
Shimmer shivered a little, thinking about what could happen if those aunties she'd never met before did manage to make their way through. Her momma was bad enough! "Oh yeah, just tell me when. I'm so on it."
And, up in the sky above, Starfire flew as fast as she could, dodging sleep rays being fired at her from the ships behind her and pouring on all the speed she had in her for a last-ditch race to the portal that was just now coming within reach.
Reaching her goal, she burst through back to Earth in a hail of sleep ray fire.
"Close it, Shimmer!" Rose called from down below.
Starfire turned then to face the portal. One of the ship's was ahead of the others and had already partly followed her through. Starfire darted to the side to avoid another sleep ray it fired at her, seeing with relief that the portal had closed around the ship, trapping it there. "Wait here for me please, sleeping Speedy." Starfire patted Speedy's pod affectionately, then threw it far up in the sky. "I think it is time that I do the kicking of the butts!" She said, narrowing her eyes on the ship and then charging right at it, fists glowing. She had to dodge around two more sleep ray beams, but she got past them and smashed into the ship, hitting it right it the eye and knocking it back into the portal where it came from!
"Wooo! The victory!" Starfire cried for joy, catching the Speedy's sleep pod on her shoulder as it fell back down to Earth just then.
Off to the side, Raven watched all this, her mouth hanging open and her heart beating fast from the rush and the thrill of what she'd just seen.
Starfire saw her and came over to her. "Hello, girlfriend. I am the back now." Starfire told, voice soft and intimate.
"Um, yeah..." Raven said dumbly, reaching forwards roughly pulling Starfire in for a very, very heated kiss. They kissed and kissed and kissed some more. At last though, Raven let her go and felt herself relax a little, the tension leaving her. "I really needed that." She told her.
"Um, yes... I really need that too, certainly." Starfire said, pulling Raven back to her for even more kissing (both of them imagining getting the other back home for more of the sex time).
Blackfire was giggling. "They're so cute." She said.
Starfire slowly let a now very pleasantly dazed Raven go and looked around her. Her whole team was there, Rose being carried in Blackfire's arms, Jinx and Terra on one of Terra's flying boulders, and Shimmer flying on Batty's back. (Cyborg had gone back down to the other ship to check on his boyfriend.) Starfire smiled, happily. "My friends." She said.
"Wow, Starfire, I just want to say, that was... so awesome." Raven gushed, sounding more like a fangirl than she was sure she ever had before.
"Yeah sis, that was pretty amazing alright." Blackfire had to agree.
Starfire smiled, joyful, and then she flew down to the peak of Terra's rock spike and held Speedy's bacon beacon pod raised above her head. "It has been said the before, and it shall be said again: I am the cool... Shamma Lamma Mu-Mu!" She declared, celebrating her epic victory.
Just then, Gizmo piloted the ship he'd hacked up to meet them. "Hey guys. Good win." Gizmo said. "Very epic."
"I know, right?" Jinx said, jumping down to check on her brother and her friends, who were all now awake again. Terra joined her.
"I'll just take that, thank you." Cyborg said, taking Speedy's pod. "I've got to get this boy back to his boyfriend." And he flew off down to go find Aqualad down below (hopefully, he wasn't too bad off down there).
Starfire blinked and watched them go, then Raven went and hugged her and Starfire hugged her back.
"Wait..." Nightwing said. "Speaking of boyfriends, has anyone seen mine anywhere?" He asked, looking around hoping Kid Flash would appear next to him from super speed like he usually did.
He didn't though.
"You... don't suppose they ate him... do you?" Nightwing asked, sounding very vulnerable about then.
There was silence.
"It's okay, I found him." Shimmer spoke up, pressing a button. Another of those bacon beacons rose out of the floor, with a naked Kid Flash in it.
Nightwing sank to his knees in front of the pod, grasping at it. "Thank... go-oo-ood-ness." He sobbed, tears of relief falling.
"Aw, he's in love too. So cute." Shimmer gushed.
The End... but wait, no, there's also an ominous epilogue for you to read! =)
Down on the ground, a groggy Pan woke up when Umpy started nudging her face with her snout and licking her head.
"Ah, Umpy, quit it, I'm up already..." She fussed at Umpy, pushing her away and sitting up, blinking the sleep from her eyes. "That girl..." She said, looking around, kind of apprehensively, worried Rose might still be lurking around somewhere, ready to sneak up behind her again. She swallowed. "She was kind of hot though..." She had to admit to herself of the glimpse she'd gotten of the girl who'd taken her hostage before the sleep ray had hit her and she'd gone to sleep. And that voice of hers, it thrilled her remembering it, and it sent a chill down her spine too. "I bet she'd taste sooo good." She hummed to herself wistfully, knowing she'd never have the courage to try to catch her though.
Umpy nudged her head again, looking for attention, and Pan giggled, petting her friend affectionately. "Silly girl." She cooed to her. "I love you too."
She took in a breath and let it out then, getting to her feet. "I wonder what I missed..." She asked herself, at last looking up at the sky. She froze in place, dumbstruck. "Momma's ship..." It was... impaled, on a giant rock spike... and, besides that, there was only one other of their ships still in the air. "Maybe they need reinforcements?" She asked Umpy, hoping whatever battle must be going on up there was going their way. She really was hungry right now; she'd gone to sleep without having a meal first, after all. Her stomach grumbled, unhappy with her.
"No, you're way too late, I'm afraid." Kitten Van Cleer said, walking up next to her, Gaea and two other Zemral girls by her side.
"Mixy? Glimmer?" Pan asked, recognizing the two of her sisters that were with these two Earth girls. "What's going on?" She wanted to ask if the two Earth girls with them were food, but she just wasn't getting that impression, much to her stomach's annoyance. Though, really, in her head, it was kind of weird for her to eat Earth girls, because they looked so much like she and her sisters did and when she looked at them and caught their scent, she wanted to kiss them and eat them at the same time. She liked eating the boy ones more, most of her sisters did (it was much less confusing). It didn't matter though, because something else was happening. But what?
Mixy hung her head. "Momma lost, that's what happened. Most of our sisters were captured by the Teen Titans."
"You will be too, if you aren't careful." Kitten said. "Lucky you though, I just so happen to have a better offer for you, if you want to take it?"
"Oh yeah? Um... what's that? And... does it include food?" Pan asked, hopeful, but also feeling sad about momma and her sisters. Still, a girl had to eat, right?
"It does, actually." Gaea said.
"What do I have to do?" Pan asked, flirting, because she couldn't really help flirting. They were both really cute, and, in her head, if she wasn't going to get to eat these girls... maybe she could have sex with one of them? She'd never done that with an Earth girl before, obviously, but, you know, if they wanted to, why not? Especially if they were also going to help find her some Earth boys to eat... At least, she assumed it would be Earth boys, because she assumed an Earth girl wouldn't want her eating others of her species. That didn't make sense. It was a good thing there were two species of humans to choose from, she considered. Did Earth girls eat Earth boys sometimes? She'd asked one of her sisters once, and Whimsy had said no, but maybe Whimsy had been wrong?
"Just agree my girlfriend's your new mother now, that's all." Kitten said.
Pan looked from Kitten to Gaea and her eyes widened as she really saw her for the first time. She fell to her knees. "Anything." She said, worshipful. "Goddess." She knew who this was now. Momma had a shrine to her. The life mother, the one who made everyone. It had to be her.
"Well, this one was easy." Gaea said, going over to cup Pan's cheek. "Come on, let's go home." She knew Pan was mistaking her for one of her sisters (she had lots of sisters out there among the stars, and in other dimensions), but that was okay, it didn't really matter.
"Okay." Pan agreed fawningly, getting up and obediently following along, thinking that she must have done something really right in her life to be lucky like this. The life mother was strong, a goddess, and wouldn't lose to anyone like her momma had, so, as long as she was a good daughter, she'd always have enough food. The thought of that, of never having to be hungry again, made her feel almost lightheaded with happiness.
"What are we going to do with a bunch of girls that eat people though?" Gaea asked Kitten as they went off to see if they could find any more stragglers around that they could recruit.
Kitten shrugged. "I don't know. I was just thinking they'd make cute minions, you know?" She admitted.
"Oh, um, okay, but I'm still your only girlfriend, right?" Gaea asked, feeling it important to clarify that admiring other pretty girls was okay, but that there was a line she wouldn't be okay with her crossing.
Kitten looked at her then. "I'm going to choose not to be insulted right now, okay?" She said softly, moving forward to kiss her girlfriend.
Gaea felt immediately better as she let herself be thoroughly and deeply kissed.
"Aren't they cute together?" Glimmer asked Pan then.
"Yeah, they really are..." Pan agreed, only a little jealous that she didn't have someone to do kissing with right now also.
"Apparently, we're going to live in a mansion with a big swimming pool." Mixy explained.
"And we can have all the humans to eat we want." Glimmer said, eager.
Pan giggled. "Our sisters would be so jealous."
They all fell silent at that, feeling guilty.
"Sorry." Pan said. "I shouldn't have said that." She realized she'd been being insensitive.
Mixy shrugged. "Mm, it's okay. We've gotta eat though, what else can we do?" She asked sensibly. "Our sisters would understand."
When the kiss broke, Kitten stared Gaea in the eyes. "You're my girlfriend, okay?" She told her softly. "That's not going to change. I promise. Believe me?" She asked, only now realizing just how important it was to her that Gaea said yes. She was all for giving these alien girls a place to call home and feeding them extra poor people or something to be her minions, but she wasn't going to do it if Gaea wasn't okay with that. Besides the fact that Gaea was the only reason she wasn't poor herself anymore, she'd... well, she'd also, kind of... fallen in love with her at some point.
Gaea nodded, feeling all the more devoted to her girlfriend now that she could see so clearly that Kitten really was hers. She felt guilty for being insecure about it, but... she'd never had a girlfriend before, so she wasn't used to feeling this way all the time. It was good, only... also a little overwhelming sometimes, how much her own happiness depended on someone else, and... how scared it could make her feel when she thought of how much it would hurt if Kitten ever stopped, you know, wanting her around... "I believe you." She told her softly, stroking her girlfriend's hair and gazing into her eyes, feeling lovesick and really liking how it felt, despite the scary vulnerability side of it.
Kitten smiled. "Okay, good... so, um, let's go find, um, find us more minions then, okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, okay." Gaea agreed, secretly having gotten to like playing the villain.
It came with great perks.
Next Episode: Batgirl and Bumblebee vs The Cheshire Cat Gang!
So, are you adequately ominoused yet? And, honestly! Those of you who have not yet joined the Starfire fan club? Go do the joining already, we are waiting for you! There are cookies! (The cookies are shaped like cat faces btw, if you hadn't already guessed that, meow.) Now, onto the next episode preview: Batgirl and Bumblebee—finally! Cheshire, the notorious international assassin/thief is up to no good in New York City, and it's up to our two East Coast heroines to put a stop to it! And, meanwhile, across the country, in Jump City, Aqualad is in recovery at the hospital, what will Speedy and he do next, go East, or stay Young Justice? What about Brother Blood, and Kid Flash and Nightwing's plans to rob him blind while beating him up and throwing him in jail? And what, oh what, is Shimmer going to do about Starfire's prohibition against eating the kittens? All very good questions!
Be here next time, my fabulous readers, to find out What Happened Next...