Episode 10: Young Justice Go vs. BATMAN! (No, Really)
"Mwahahahahahaha!" Brother Blood exclaimed from the top floor of his new company, Newblood Consulting, getting his classic evil villain maniacal laughter on. "This time, the Teen Titans won't know what hit them." He rubbed his hands together (again, maniacally). "Mwahahahahahaha!"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." A shadowy caped figured joined in the evil laughter. (Spoiler: the shadowy caped figure is BATMAN!)
Annoyed, Brother Blood looked over at his new evil henchman. "Stop that." He told him.
BATMAN! did, and Brother Blood looked back to his evil villain project monitoring monitors, watching as his brainwashed C.E.O.s made him more and more money.
Behind him, BATMAN! started to laugh again, and Brother Blood smacked his forehead, running his hand down over his face. "This is going to be a long evil scheme, I can just tell."
An alarm in the building went off just then. "What's this?" He asked. "Report!" He commanded one of his generic minions.
"We... have intruders, sir." The generic minion said, bringing up live security footage on the room's big screen.
"Well... That's annoying." Brother Blood muttered to himself as he watched Robin, Kid Flash, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Speedy fighting their way through his minions on the bottom floor of his headquarters. He'd just bought this headquarters a week ago, too. Really, he got no respect sometimes.
"Yes, sir." The generic minion replied. "What should we do?"
He held up a finger, telling the minion to hold that thought, then he took out his cell phone. "Hello. Yes, it's me – Right, it's the Titans again, or, the boy band version anyway. I suppose they're going by Young Justice now." He sneered. "Right – Get Mumbo and get over here."
He hung up the phone and rubbed his hands together. "Without Starfire and Raven, they don't stand a chance this time."
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." BATMAN! laughed.
Brother Blood sighed. "You'd think I'd brainwashed the Joker or something." He muttered.
"Good work so far team. Don't let up, we got this!" Nightwing called to his team, consisting of himself, his boyfriend (aka: Kid Flash), Cyborg, Cyborg's boyfriend (aka: Beast Boy), and Aqualad's boyfriend (aka: Speedy). Aqualad himself was still resting up from their battle with Mother May Eye and her many dastardly daughters. He was up on his feet and healing fast though. In a week or so, Nightwing expected to have his team all back together again.
"Hey, nice motivational speech there, bird boy." Speedy teased, the two of them fighting back to back at the moment.
That Speedy and his boyfriend had decided to join the team again, that'd been a surprise... The others had convinced him to say he was sorry and all that, and he'd swallowed his sour grapes and done it, but he honestly hadn't thought Speedy would say yes. He had though, for some reason. They still hadn't actually talked much about it though, and he suspected there was still resentment there.
"Whatever, just try and keep up." Nightwing told him, irritated and wondering if this whole having Speedy back thing was worth it, really. Still, having only four team members looked weak. Sure, it was technically enough members to compete in crime season, but the other teams made fun of you behind your back if you couldn't get at least five.
Around the room, Kid Flash could be seen for only seconds at a time as he used his speed to weave, dodge, and punch. Beast Boy was a charging green rhinoceros at the moment, and Cyborg was using his sonic cannon with wanton disregard for the medical bills the army of generic minions that were swarming them would have to pay. Nightwing wondered absently what kind of health insurance Brother Blood was offering these idiots.
It only took about a minute more for them to mop the floor with the rest of the generic minion army, and they were left—himself, Speedy, Beast Body, and Cyborg—standing back to back in a circle. Kid Flash slowed down then. "Come on, this way." He said, pointing to a set of double doors across the room.
"Right." Nightwing agreed, and he and the team rushed to follow Kid Flash. Normally, he didn't like it when someone on his team took the lead instead of him, but, well... Kid Flash was his boyfriend, and he'd been the one who'd done the scouting ahead, so...
Through the double doors, they went down a hallway... filled with death traps, of course, but busting them all up as they went was actually kind of fun (and, not to mention, good for the team building... which was humorously ironic, given that they were currently breaking into the offices of a corporate motivational speaker who only pretended to motivationally speak to people in order to get to the nefarious mind control part of his nefariously evil scheme, btw).
At the end of the hallway, there was a bank of elevators, and a side door leading to the obligatory stairwell.
"Stairs?" Speedy offered.
"Oh, hells yeah." Beast Boy said. "Anybody remember the last time we took an elevator in one of Brother Blood's hideouts?" He put out there.
"What happened?" Speedy asked.
"It was bad." Cyborg informed the newbie.
Nightwing shivered. "You don't want to know." He said, remembering the bad times.
"Right." Speedy said. "Stairwell it is then." He agreed, going to open the door.
"Don't!" Cyborg said, firing his sonic cannon and smashing down the door.
Speedy looked from Cyborg to Nightwing "Probably electrified." Nightwing said, walking over the door debris to go be the leader.
A few more stories of death traps later, and they were on the second floor. The stairs didn't go any higher, which meant they'd probably have to fight their way through more generic minions in order to get to the entrance to the top floor villain's layer, where Brother Blood would have to be.
They emerged out into a big room, filled with (he'd been right) yet more generic minions, and also Mumbo Jumbo. "You think the Brain clones these guys and sells them wholesale or something?" Kid Flash asked.
"Wouldn't surprise me." Nightwing replied, turning his attention to Mumbo Jumbo. "Hiring yourself out as a rent-a-thug now, Mumbo? What's the matter: no one wants to hire you for kids' birthday parties anymore?" He taunted the stage magician turned criminal. It was obligatory by now, the taunting.
"Oh, I don't know, Robin." A deep and ominous voice spoke, as a path cleared in the crowd of minions for a man to walk through. "Maybe he's just moving up in the world?" Slade said, drawing his sword.
Nightwing gulped. "Slade..." He said it in a low voice as he narrowed his eyes on his old arch-nemesis.
"That's right, Robin. You'll never get rid of me. Every corner you pass, every shadow seen out of the corner of your eye, every time you close your eyes at night... You'll never know when I'll be there... but one day, you've always known, I would be. Well, Robin... Today is that day." He said, all creepy and scary menacing.
"...Damn, that's one scary dude." Cyborg said.
"No doubt. No doubt." Beast Boy agreed, nodding his head.
"Come on then. Let's end this." Nightwing said, eyes still narrowed, voice all gravely and shiver down your spine sexy.
"Rrrraahhhh!" Slade bellowed a charge, signaling the attack.
"Rrrraahhhh!" Nightwing bellowed a charge too, and the two sides fell into one heck of a righteous clashing fight scene (seriously, you should be weeping over the fact that this isn't an actual cartoon, so you can't actually watch this beautiful masterpiece of a bruhaha... the author hereby genuinely apologizes [without admitting to any legal liability] for any damage to your emotional wellbeing this may cause you).
Nightwing's staff struck Slade's sword. They stared hard into the whites of one another's eyes, neither giving an inch.
"Admit it: you're flirting with me right now, aren't you?" Slade asked in a foreign, yet decidedly feminine accent.
Nightwing started, surprised, and that was all the opening his adversary needed. She slid around him like water, Slade's body transforming into the diabolical shapeshifting villainess from Russia: Madame Rouge.
"Such a naive little fool you are." Madame Rouge taunted him, throwing him up and over the crowd of clashing forces, nailing that perfect three-point shot, dunking Nightwing right into a birdcage so he landed next to Commissioner Gordon, who was dressed in a white ballgown.
"Commissioner Gordon?" Nightwing asked, blinking in shock. "What in the frilly heck are you doing here?" He asked, only belatedly noticing that Gordon was bound and gagged.
The commissioner inclined his head towards something though, and Nightwing looked up to see a sign. Obligatory Damsel In Distress Here, Nightwing read the sign, an arrow pointing down at the two of them. "...That is so messed up." He said, making to get to his feet, and, feeling a breeze in a place he normally didn't, he looked down at himself and realized he was dressed in a white ball down too somehow. "Mumbo's magic, gotta be." He muttered to himself, absently wondering if Kid Flash would think he looked hot in this getup, or if he'd just laugh. It made him feel horribly self-conscious, so he tried to stop thinking about it.
He went to the bars of the cage, gripping them with both hands, and watched, helpless damsel-like, as the fight played out before his eyes.
"Did anyone see where Robin went?" Cyborg asked as he punched one generic minion in the face, booted a second one in the behind, and shot a sonic cannon blast at Mumbo Jumbo, who made it disappear into his hat (magicians could be frustrating like that).
"Madame Rouge was Slade, I think Nightwing's out of the fight." Speedy said.
Just then, Beast Boy went sailing by, knocked into a wall. Cyborg looked and saw a giant rouge colored gorilla who'd just done gone and punched his boyfriend! "Oh no she didn't!" Cyborg exclaimed, outraged. "Mess with my boyfriend, you gonna pay!" He said, clenching his fists, pulling his arms back to flex his cyborg muscles, puffing his chest out, and deploying the rocket launches he kept behind his shoulders for just such occasions. He launched all twenty-four missiles into the crowd of villain goons, laughing in glee at the explosions as he did (just because he knew it would freak everybody out and downright demoralize the enemy). "Shock and awe, baby—shock and awe!" He declared for all to hear. "Ahahahahahaha!" He laughed, firing yet more missiles.
When the smoke cleared, sure enough, Madame Rouge was dazedly getting to her feet, most of the generic minions were out for the count, and so was Mumbo Jumbo by the looks of things.
"Damn, brah. That was some righteous missile work you had goin' on there." Beast Boy said, having gotten back to his feet and walked over to stand beside his boyfriend. "I like you're so protective like that. Makes a boy feel lurved, ya know?"
"Aw, Beasty, you're okay." Cyborg said, the two making lurvy eyes at each other.
"Uh, guys?" Speedy said though, breaking the mood.
"What, buzzkill? What?" Beast Boy asked, annoyedly looking to where Speedy was aiming his bow and arrow. "Oh... that..." He said, watching as a shadowy bat-like figure emerged from the dissipating smoke from Cyborg's missile barrage.
Coming up behind the shadowy figure was Brother Blood, who smirked. "Hello... Young Justice. Say hello to my new friend. You may have met him, his name is BATMAN!"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." BATMAN! laughed.
"Dude, that's really him, i'n it?" Beast Boy said.
"Dude, no way. Laughing like that? It's totally gotta be the Joker in disguise." Kid Flash put forward.
"Right?" Speedy agreed.
"Uh, no, he always laughs like that. It's his thing. You know, because it's funny, and this is a comedy show." Beast Boy countered.
"If you say so." Speedy replied, skeptical.
"Uh, guys? I think we've got bigger problems right now." Kid Flash said, even as Madame Rouge got to her feet to stand next to BATMAN! and yet more generic minions poured into the room to surround them.
"Get them!" Brother Blood commanded, and BATMAN! darted forward on the attack, laughing all the while.
Speedy shot his arrow, but BATMAN! knocked it out of the air with the back of his hand.
Beast Boy went gorilla again and made to gorilla fist punch the dude, but BATMAN! dodged and karate chopped him on the back of the neck. Beast Boy dropped like a sack of potatoes.
"Oh my cheese whiz, how'd he do that!?" Cyborg exclaimed, panicking and letting loose with all the firepower he had. As the smoke was clearing, he asked "Did I get him?"
But, alas: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." The disembodied laugh could be heard, and it seemed to come from all around him.
"Where's he at? Where!?" Cyborg demanded, spinning in a circle and firing one sonic cannon blast after another, hoping he'd get lucky and one of them would hit pay dirt.
No luck though. BATMAN! appeared like the specter of death himself behind Cyborg, and, with another karate chop, Cyborg was down too.
Kid Flash blazed in then, intent on speed punching their caped crusader foe into submission! He was just a regular guy in a bat suit, right? No match for Kid Flash. That's what he told himself anyway, but, just as he was about to strike the first speed-punch blow, BATMAN! just... wasn't there anymore. He felt a thud at the back of his neck, and the world went black.
Kid Flash was down too...
Speedy watched this from an air vent in the ceiling above. He'd seen how this was going, and he'd known they were out classed. He'd guessed BATMAN! would go after him last though, because people always thought he was less of a threat. Now though... everything was up to him.
So, no pressure, right?
An hour later, the Young Justice boys (minus Speedy) woke up in your classic evil villain secret layer sciency lab.
Kid Flash was the first, besides Nightwing (who'd missed out on the Bat-karate chopping action), to wake up. Woozily, he looked around and saw... his boyfriend in a white dress, tied up and locked into place next to him. "Dude, what's with the ball gown?" Kid Flash asked.
"Do... You think I look pretty?" Nightwing asked, nervous about what the answer would be.
Kid Flash opened his mouth to speak, but then considered the question seriously. "It's not really my thing, but, uh, yeah, I guess so." He admitted, blushing a little. He hadn't wanted to say it, but, well, Nightwing was his boyfriend now, and he didn't want to be a jerk about it with him. That just wasn't what having a boyfriend was supposed to be about. Even he knew that.
"What I wanna know is: why." Cyborg said. "I mean, or is it just Brother Blood has one of those fetish things, because if that's it, I do not even wanna know."
"It's Mumbo Jumbo's cage, actually." Brother Blood said, walking into the room with Madame Rouge at his side.
"He has the mustache thing on his face place, so he feels he must play up to the classic American film trope, wherein the villain ties the damsel up while twirling his mustache." Madame Rouge explained. "Is sad, but we all have our problems, yes?"
"Yeah, I don't know, I guess so." Cyborg said, not really buying it, but at the same time not really wanting to provoke these fine folks into makin' a damsel outta him too. He did NOT want that footage out on the internet where anyone could see. Because it would get out. It always did. If not in this decade, then in the future where everyone realized that being heterosexual was as passe as it so obviously was already by this point, and the fanfic they were currently in got turned into a cartoon like it so obviously deserved to be (write the studio people, tell your friends, make it happen) ...Of course, by that point, guys wearing ball gowns might end up being the height of popular fashion, you just never knew, so maybe it would be okay. Just, he wasn't in the mood to be taking the chance. Staying in style was important to him. Shallow? Vain? Pretentious? Could be, but, oh well. Like the woman said: we all have our problems, yes? ...So, okay, maybe she had a point about that after all.
"Where is Mumbo Jumbo, anyway?" Nightwing asked.
Brother Blood sighed. "Coffee run." He explained.
"We are corporate honchos now. It is expected." Madame Rouge added yet more exposition.
"And, I suppose this the part where you explain your evil plan with a villainous monologue to both placate the readers and make our lives just that little bit more miserable?" Nightwing asked, actually kind of hoping it wasn't.
"Well, I was going to skip all that, just this once, because the author did actually explain it all in a few sentences in the next episode teaser last episode, but since you brought it up... I think I'll just go ahead and do the monologue anyway. It is rather expected after all, don't you think?" Brother Blood said.
Everybody, including Beast Boy who'd just woken up, groaned.
"Way to go, Robin." Beast Boy said.
"My name's Nightwing now." Nightwing snapped. Why couldn't people remember that?
"I will be going to check in on my social media accounts now, by the way." Madame Rouge said. "Be sure to enjoy yourselves while I am gone, now." She waved over her shoulder as she left, just to rub it in.
Brother Blood took in a breath and let it out. "Now: my latest ingenious plan to gain power, wealth, and privilege. It all started when I was feeling down on my luck one day last month, just after that new team of (much more effective) Teen Titans took me down a peg when I tried to hypnotize the mayor into doing my evil bidding. By the way, can I just say how much I appreciate how considerate you boys were to come here without asking them along? It really was quite helpful."
"Yeah, yeah. Move it along already." Nightwing muttered.
"Tut tut, patience now. You wouldn't want to play into the stereotypes about how your vapid and self-absorbed generation has such a painfully short attention span, now would you?" Brother Blood asked in admonishment.
"Um, hell yeah we would." Cyborg put in.
Brother Blood narrowed his eyes on him and pressed a button on the control panel he hand on his wrist. "Yes, well, no one asked you, now did they?" He sneered, the button making a metal restraint fold out to cover Cyborg's mouth so he couldn't speak.
"Hey! I mean, jeeze, dude, you just asked him that exact thing, you know—what did you expect?" Beast Boy complained, resentful.
"Jee, I don't know, what did you expect?" He challenged, pressing another button to silence Beast Boy too. "Anyone else? Anyone?" Brother Blood asked peevishly.
"No, by all means, go right ahead and tell us the rest of your fascinating story." Nightwing said, monotone.
"Uh, yeah, what he said." Kid Flash added, privately calling Brother Blood a major jerk inside his head and really wishing the restraints he was in didn't shock him whenever he tried to use his speed to vibrate free. This guy was really asking for a couple hundred speed punches in the face right now.
"Good." Brother Blood said, steepling his hands and doing that evil villain thing where he touched each set of his fingers together and brought them apart in sequence. "Now... As I was saying..."
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." A disembodied BATMAN! laugh suddenly could be heard in the room.
Brother Blood shivered, obviously both annoyed and creeped out. He slowly turned around and, nope, no BATMAN! there. He turned back to his audience, only to find BATMAN! standing there, gazing longingly at the Commissioner Gordon damsel. Then, everybody in the room watched as he presented a single rose to the captured police commissioner.
Gordon was tied up of course, so he couldn't take the offering, and BATMAN! let it drop, looking deflated.
"Seriously, are those two dating?" Kid Flash asked his boyfriend.
"Well, yeah. Wasn't it obvious?" Nightwing replied.
"I don't know, I guess I was just trying not to think about it." Kid Flash admitted.
Nightwing shivered. "I get that." He said, kind of gravely.
Brother Blood did the slapping his face in exasperation thing again. He sighed. "Right... Well, where was I? Oh yes. I was feeling down on my luck last month, so I went out to get some coffee at the local Justice Java and I got to talking to this guy named Booster Gold. Real head for business on that one. You don't usually see that in the do-gooder set. It was a refreshing change. Anyway, so he says to me: Your name's Brother Blood right? Let me guess: cult guy? And I admitted, with some chagrin, that yes, once upon a time, in my misspent youth, I did try my hand at such things (it was a different time). So he says to me: You know, there's money in that now a days. All you need is a little rebranding. Go into motivation speaking—or, be a life coach or something. Write a self-help book. Those corporate types eat that kind of thing up like candy. You wouldn't even have to break the law, not really. It's totally legit. And, sure enough, by the time he was done talking, I was hooked. So, I called up Madame Rouge and Mumbo Jumbo, because we'd been Snap Chatting with each other lately, and we gave it a shot. Roped in a few rubes, got an LLC going. Grew my brand. Pretty soon, I was getting asked to do motivational talks all over the place. Including, I might add: at Wayne Enterprises... Spoiler: Bruce Wayne is apparently BATMAN! Who knew, right?"
"Shush-shh-shh-shh! We don't speak of it!" Nightwing hissed, starting to sweat a little.
"Riiiight... Well, moving on, one brainwash job later, and we had ourselves a BATMAN! Now, I have to admit, I maybe did go a little overboard hiring all those generic minions like we did (honestly, about half of them are just standing around playing Pokemon Go because I don't have anything better for them to do most days), but what can I say? I like having minions. What self-respecting evil mastermind doesn't, am I right?"
"It is kind of a staple of the job." Kid Flash admitted, not quite wanting to admit to himself that there were days he'd considered getting a few minions of his own, too. It just didn't match the dashing super hero image he wanted to maintain though.
"Exactly." He said, just as Mumbo came back in with the coffee. "Ah. Many thanks." He gratefully accepted the mocha latte with cinnamon from his business partner.
"Eh, it was my turn." Mumbo said. "How's it been going while I was gone?" He asked, twirling his mustache while looking at Nightwing in a decidedly dastardly fashion.
"Stop looking at me like that! I'm a delicate flower, and I deserve respect! Respect, I say!" Nightwing demanded.
"Yeah, yeah. Tell it to H.R." Mumbo said, yawning. "You're about to be employees of ours, after all, don't you know." He explained, adding in a classical villain laugh to drive home the point.
"Employees?" Nightwing asked, getting a sinking feeling.
"Ah, yes. I was getting to that part. You see, after the requisite monologuing, I was planning on hypnotizing you into becoming my minions too, just like that... mentor of yours." Brother Blood said, eying BATMAN! dubiously, as he was currently plucking petals from the flower he'd been trying to give to Commissioner Gordon in a he loves me, he loves me not sort of fashion. "I figure, with your team on my side, added to our own forces, we'll be sure to stand a decent chance when the Teen Titans inevitably try to stop us."
"Yeah... That's not going to happen." Kid Flash said, voice newly confident, having caught sight of Speedy up in the air duct, who'd just given him a be ready to make your move hand signal.
At Kid Flash's words, Speedy dropped down into the room, firing off an arrow into the shock machine that was preventing Kid Flash from using his super speed to escape. He rolled as he came down, firing a second arrow that knocked Mumbo Jumbo's wand out of his hand, and, by the time he'd gotten to his feet, Kid Flash had himself, Nightwing, Cyborg, and Beast Boy all free and ready for a fight.
Nightwing growled. "Young Justice, it's time for some payback!"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." BATMAN! started to laugh, but Kid Flash picked up Mumbo's wand.
"Mumbo Whatever-oh!" Kid Flash flourished the wand at BATMAN!, and the caped crusader instantly fell through a hole in the floor underneath him and ended up in a dress, bound and gaged next to Commissioner Gordon.
"Well, this is quite unfortunate, now isn't it?" Brother Blood said.
Just then, there was the sound of helicopters, and police stormed the room, pointing assault rifles at Brother Blood and Mumbo Jumbo.
"I surrender." Mumbo Jumbo said, putting up his hands.
Officers came into the room, leading a captured Madame Rouge in, followed by... "Commissioner Gordon?" Cyborg asked, looking between the newly arrived police commissioner and his counterpart in the damsel getup in the cage across the room next to BATMAN! "Whaaaaat?"
"Yeah, brah, I so don'ts get this." Beast Boy said, scratching his noggin in confusion.
"Allow me, son." Commissioner Gordon said, striding across the room, taking the wand from Kid Flash (who was just standing there not knowing what to do next either by that point) as he went. When he got to the cage, he tapped the wand against it, and the two captive damsels tumbled out onto the floor at his feet, blinking up at him in guilty bewilderment.
Commissioner Gordon then pulled a mask off of the damsel Gordon, revealing... the Riddler! "And..." Gordon said, pulling BATMAN!'s mask off next.
Nightwing gasped. "Noooo!" He pleaded, fearful that his mentor's secret was about to be exposed for all the world to see (and by none other than his very own S.O. no less!). He stopped in his tracks though, dumbstruck, when it turned out the guy under the mask wasn't Bruce Wayne at all, but instead...
"Huh, what d'you know. It really was the Joker after all." Cyborg said. "Did not see that coming at all!" He said.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." The Joker laughed.
"Wait, what?" Nightwing said, looking around, utterly bewildered. "Then... Where's BATMAN!?"
"He-hem." Mumbo Jumbo spoke up, slipping effortlessly out of the handcuffs the police had put him in and removing his own face, which, as it turned out, was also a mask, only to reveal...
Everyone gasped. "BATMAN!" Speedy said.
(As it turns out folks, it was really all just a clever scheme by the real BATMAN! You see, when he went out on that coffee run before, he, in actuality, was also calling in the cops. Don't be too disgruntled though, dear readers, for you see, Young Justice did actually do battle with the real BATMAN!, only, he was masquerading as none other than Mumbo Jumbo at the time! Such a startling plot twist! Aren't you impressed?)
(Oh, and, if you're wondering about the damsel dresses, and where he got Mumbo's wand, wonder no more: He appropriated the wand previously, when he and his S.O. took down the real Mumbo, and he decided to go with the whole damsel bit as payback on the Joker and Riddler for messing with his image all those years on Teen Titans Go! He hadn't planned on Nightwing getting caught in the cage too, but those kinds of experiences are character building, right? So it all turned out great in the end, didn't it? n_n)
Cyborg shook his head. "Did not see that one coming either! Man, what a day for surprises, am I right?"
Nightwing fainted in a swoon then, unable to take it anymore.
Kid Flash speeded over and caught him though, like any truly gallant boyfriend would.
"Kid Flash, is that you?" Nightwing asked, woozily blinking his eyes open to gaze up at his lurv interest.
"Yeah, it's me." Kid Flash said, voice deep and romantic sounding.
"Oh, thank goodness. You wouldn't believe the dream I was having." Nightwing said.
"Shush, my dear. It's all over now. You're safe." Kid Flash soothed.
"Kiss me?" Nightwing asked.
"As if I'd ever say no." Kid Flash murmured dreamily, even as Cyborg busted out his boom box and played The Night Begins To Shine. Everyone took a partner and began to waltz.
Then Kid Flash and Nightwing kissed in classic romance novel fashion.
End scene!
All that drama done, it was the next day now and, at lunch time, Nightwing (now dressed as Nightwing again) disgruntledly barged into a certain branch of Justice Java.
He paused just inside the entrance, looked around, found the guy he was looking for and walked over to his table.
"Hey. You. Booster guy." He said, tapping Booster Gold on the shoulder.
Booster Gold, who'd been sipping espresso and talking into his cell phone in an obnoxiously loud manner (causing the people around him to give him dirty looks and say disparaging things about him amongst themselves), turned and looked at him. "Look, little guy, I'm on the phone here. Can whatever this is wait?" Booster asked.
"No. It can't. We've got a staff meeting scheduled..." Nightwing said in a snidely annoyed sort of voice. He then proceeded to haul off and staff meeting Booster just as hard as he possibly could in the knee with his Nightwing staff (formerly known as his Robin staff).
Booster howled in pain, crumpled to the floor, spilling his coffee, rolling from side to side and trying to shake it off.
"Staff meeting!" He struck again. "Staff meeting! Staff meeting!" He wailed on the guy.
"You deserved that." Nightwing hissed to him before turning to walk out the door again.
Back at Booster Gold's table, Booster, wiping tears from his cheeks, managed to get himself back up and into his chair, looking much the worse for wear. "Jeeze, what's that's guy's problem, anyway?" He asked, voice cracking as he turned to look behind him. He gasped, seeing BATMAN! standing there.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." BATMAN! laughed, pointing at him derisively.
"...Okay, seriously. Level with me: You're secretly the Joker in disguise, aren't you?" Booster asked the guy.
And, one motorcycle ride later, back at Young Justice HQ, Nightwing walked in from the elevator and saw Beast Boy and Cyborg playing video games. Over in the kitchen, Speedy was making sandwiches and talking with Aqualad, who was sitting at the counter, nursing a soda.
Speedy waved to him, Aqualad turned and waved too. Nightwing waved back, then headed through the room to go find Kid Flash in the bedroom they shared.
He walked in the room and stopped to stare.
"Money... Money... Money..." Kid Flash was repeating happily to himself while rolling on the bed on a pile of, you guessed it: lots and lots of stolen money.
"Um, yeah, hey boyfriend. How's it going." Nightwing greeted him, setting his staff to leaning by the door and walking into the room over towards the bed.
Kid Flash sat up cross-legged. "It's going great. You know, you wouldn't think so, but it is actually strangely satisfying just to spread the money you stole from a crook out on your bed and start rolling in it for a while. You wouldn't think it would work like that, but it does. Wanna roll with me?" He asked, trying to be tempting.
Nightwing considered that a second, index finger to chin. "Sure, why not." He agreed, figuring he could at least give it a shot. Even if it was boring or something, it was boyfriend bonding time anyway, and you needed that sort of thing to maintain a healthy relationship. That was important for his long term plans. Plans which included the white ball gown he was keeping in his closet to wear on his wedding day... sometime soon, he hoped... (wistful internal sigh).
So he took off his shoes, got up on the bed, and got to the money rolling. "Money... Money... Money..." They both said as they rolled.
"You know, you're right." Nightwing said a few minutes later, him and Kid Flash having sat back up to talk. "That was... actually surprisingly fun."
"See, told you." Kid Flash said. "But, hey, where'd you go off to anyway?" He asked.
"Just a little payback. The video's already on YouTube. Wanna see?" Nightwing asked.
"Heck yeah." Kid Flash replied.
So, Nightwing got out his phone and found the video he'd watched and laughed at on the elevator ride up a few minutes ago. Turned out one of the people at a nearby table at Justice Java had recorded the whole thing on her smart phone and posted it.
Kid Flash watched avidly, then, predictably, burst out laughing. "You are such a cool boyfriend to have right now, you know that right?" He told Nightwing, giving him a playful shove on the shoulder.
"Heh. I know, right?" Nightwing said, smiling a little shyly, and feeling his cheeks heat.
"Weird about the whole BATMAN! thing though, right?" Kid Flash asked.
Nightwing moaned and laid back on his back on the bed full of money (which Kid Flash had stolen at super speed while the rest of the team had distracted the cops with their usual antics). "I don't want to talk about it."
"Yeah, I guess I can get that... I'm, you know, here for you though, if that ever changes, okay?" Kid Flash offered.
Nightwing turned his head to the side to meet Kid Flash's eyes, offering him a smile. "Thanks for that."
"Hey, what are boyfriends for, right?" Kid Flash asked.
Next Episode: How Shimmer Left Home And Set Off On Her Own!
Aw, wasn't this episode just super romantic, everyone? And such a surprise about that whole Joker is BATMAN! in disguise thing, am I right? (total shocker!) Anyway, in our next episode, the secret history of Shimmer and Mother Mae Eye's daughters is revealed at last! I know, I know, we've waited so long... you're probably a little teary that you're finally going to have an answer to the big mystery. It's okay, I'll give you a moment to compose yourself :P Seriously though, you probably WEREN'T wondering about that all that much, but I wrote it anyway, because it was fun for me n_n
Prepare for one of the most entertaining emotional rollercoaster rides you ever been on folks—don't you dare miss it!
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..."
(jeeze, BATMAN!, enough already... episode's over now)