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After spending the afternoon in the club, it's finally time to go back home. As expected, I was given the task to write a poem and take it back to class.
Mmh... I was initially hoping I wouldn't have to write a poem, as I'm quite terrible at it, but if I declined the offer, things could go a different way than what's expected. In order to make sure everything goes the right way, I need to mimic the actions of the MC perfectly.
"What are you thinking about?" Sayori severs my line of thought with a simple question that has no simple answer.
I don't even need to think about it; "I'm thinking about what I should write in the poem."
Sayori looks surprised. "Woah - so you're actually taking this seriously?"
I grin. "How else should I take it?"
She looks at me with doubting eyes. "Like everything else - half-assedly."
"That's horrible, Sayori! I'm not that useless!" I play my role perfectly. Sayori sticks her tongue out, then smiles.
We're about to reach my house when I stop in my tracks.
Sayori is slightly ahead of me, so she turns around to see what I'm doing.
"...?" She stares at me, trying to spot any hints of emotion through my outer appearance.
After a delay I find suitable, I say, "you know - I'm just starting to realize how much happiness you brought me by being by my side."
"Em - " Sayori casts her eyes to the side, not knowing how to react otherwise. Her reaction is only natural; having someone say that out of the blue isn't the epitome of normal.
I whisper quietly, quiet enough for only the two of us to hear, "after all, if it wasn't for you, I would've probably ended it already."
.
.
.
Silence invades the air between us. Sayori, standing just a little further ahead, remains at a complete standstill.
"..." I can see her repeating my words inside her head, trying to understand the true meaning behind it.
And before long, "...!" it hits her.
That's when her expression turns extremely serious. Her gaze turns into a glare, her smile into a scowl. I haven't seen her angry before, but I think that's how she would look if I did.
"Ahahah! Never mind that!" I laugh it off, wiping off all previous emotion from my face. The action requires some effort, but I achieve the result I was hoping for.
Sayori intensifies her glare.
"Memini - what did you just say?" Her words are loaded with emotion I can't fully understand, but I don't have to care. I simply set my feet in motion, and start heading back to 'home' again.
That's when Sayori violently grabs my wrist.
"I asked. Answer." Sayori's personality has flipped on its head.
I look away from her eyes and say, "I said I don't know what I should write in the poe-" Not letting me finish, Sayori violently jerks my hand. She looks as if she's about to say something, but no sound comes out of her mouth.
I know what she's thinking. She's just figuring out she won't be able to make me repeat myself.
Five minutes pass. She keeps trying to say something, but she doesn't convey it.
When I think the time is just right, I say, "can you pretend you never heard that?"
Before I can finish my sentence, "no," comes out of Sayori's mouth. She tightens her grip on my hand, to the point it starts hurting.
After five more minutes, she breaks the deadlock.
"... Come." Without waiting for me to understand what she said, she breaks into a run, pulling me with her. She runs at such a speed, keeping up is difficult.
She only stops once she's reached her destination - her house.
"You are coming inside." Sayori pulls me with all her strength. I try to resist her, but she somehow manages to completely negate my resistance. She shoves me through the front door, then locks it behind her.
I turn my eyes to Sayori, experiencing genuine anger for the first time in a while. That said, her look is just as defiant as mine.
"You are not leaving until I say so." The way she says those words almost makes it seem like she's spitting them out of her mouth.
I knew it. Sayori acts weak when it comes to things that regard herself, but there's something more to her. It was easily seen by her wanting to not bother any of the people she was close to.
Sayori is dead-set on ensuring everyone she cares about is happy. No one can suffer; no exceptions.
And by saying the words I said, I've triggered this founding principle of hers. Now, she won't be capable of doing anything until she solves the problem before her.
Still grasping my hand in hers, she drags me up to her room with furor.
Once we reach her room, she makes me sit next to her... on her bed.
I look down at her hand, still holding my wrist.
"I'm not going to let you run away." Almost as if reading my thoughts, she says this.
Trying to get out of this situation, I say, "what if I have to go to the toilet?"
"I'll go with you." Wait, she doesn't even consider the option of waiting outside? Does she think I'll escape through the window?
I remain silent. Once again, silence settles between the two of us.
After some time, her hold loosens a bit.
"... Why? Why? What made you feel that way?" Sayori fixes her gaze to me, her crystal eyes clouded by a sea of sorrow.
I can't screw this up. If I seem like I'm acting for a single second, this is going to become a horrible situation. I need to ensure I display the exact emotions I should be feeling right now to make this work out.
Sadness.
Loneliness.
Grief.
Hate.
All of these come back to me. I extract every last bit of sorrow from my memories and rechannel it within me. I see pictures I never wanted to see again, memories that left indelible marks on the human being known as XXXXXX. In all these pictures, there isn't a single thing that I want to remember. In all these pictures, I can't see anything but pitch black darkness.
"... I don't know... I don't know..." I cover my face with my hands, feeling tears accumulate inside my eyes.
Sayori, seeing me reduced to this state, pulls me into an embrace.
"... It's okay," she whispers, "I'm here for you now."
"Sayori... Sayori..." I weakly return her embrace.
"It must've been tough, holding all of that inside..." She speaks to me tenderly, as if she was handling a delicate sculpture.
"Sayoriiii..." I tighten my hold on her, pulling myself closer. She doesn't put up any resistance, instead, she readily wraps her arms around me.
Two hours later, I exit Sayori's house.
"See you tomorrow!" I wave at her, and she waves back. Right now, she looks incredibly frail, but I know tomorrow she'll feel much better than she did up until today.
Sayori starts shutting her house's door.
3...
2...
1...
Once the door closes, a pang of guilt strikes my gut with force akin to that of a sledgehammer.
Why... Why? I don't fully know whether I was lying or not when it came to depression, but I do know one thing: I just used something no one was ever meant to use for my own advantage.
I bite down on my lip. If I didn't feel pain so vividly, I would've probably bitten right into my flesh.
I hate this. I don't want to lie to any of them; I don't want to manipulate any of their feelings! I would much rather say everything, reveal where I come from, but...
Nothing would go the right way if I did. Their problems wouldn't be solved, and it would become even harder to solve them using this method. DDLC's script didn't allow good outcomes up until the very end, and it definitely wouldn't rearrange itself to suit me. Hence, I need to get rid of these feelings.
I force my mind to get rid of unnecessary thoughts. Getting caught up in emotion can only lead to tragedy. I need to divert tragedy, hence, I can't do so. I shake myself up, and focus once again.
As of now, I must steel my resolve. I d3JvdGUgaXQgaW4gdGhlIGJvb2ss so SSBjYW4ndCBiYWNrIG91dCBub3cu
I'm about to ZG8gc29tZXRoaW5nIEkgY2FuJ3QgdGFrZSBiYWNrIC0gc29tZXRoaW5nIHRoYXQgbWF5IHZlcnkgd2VsbCBoYXVudCBtZSBmb3IgdGhlIHJlc3Qgb2YgbXkgbGlmZS4=
That said, aWYgSSBkb24ndCwgSSBoYXZlIG5vIGlkZWEgd2hldGhlciB0aGUgc3Rvcnkgd2lsbCBmbG93IHRoZSB3YXkgSSB3YW50IGl0IHRvLg==
By now, SSdtIGVzc2VudGlhbGx5IGEgc2xhdmUgdG8gdGhlIHN0b3J5Lg==
RWxpbWluYXRpbmcgYWxsIGVtb3Rpb24s I run back into my house.
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Ending annoucement: because it was too hard to decode, I returned the code to a much, much easier format. Enjoy ;)