#51 Fifty First Try
At that moment, the world freezes. Time stops flowing, locking me in a hold I can't possibly escape. The sky falls down, crushing everything I wanted to protect alongside me.
Happy ending - I wanted to give it a happy ending, so how did it come to this?
... it's my fault. I didn't look hard enough, read deeply enough into Monika's actions.
I lift my gaze to meet hers. Why didn't I notice it earlier? Her eyes no longer possess the brightness they should. All that's left is pain - one that can't be described by words alone.
Seeing me react like that, Monika claps her hands together and says, "you fell for it!"
?!
"I had that idea for a novel - what do you think about it?"
?!
"Hey, XXXXXX, are you there?" Monika waves her hand in front of my eyes, trying to catch my attention.
"..." My mouth remains agape for a while, but I somehow muster a normal response, "it sounds dark."
"It does, doesn't it?" Monika tries to act normally, but her eyes give away the intention behind her words. She wants me to t̮ͩ͂͐́̓̈ͅh̵̹̣̞̒̒ͬi͕̓ͫ̍ͫ̎n̰̹͈̯̤ͨk̼͚̞̉ͫ̽̃̏̾̇ ̞̺̰̆́i̷̙͓ͅt̙̘̔ͦ͋̅̓'̲̠͈̫̺̏̂̌͑ͮ̎s̝̪̯̱ͣͪ̓̊́ ̤͙å̾̏͂ͣͬ̐ ̪̣̹͙̫̅͑ͯ͟j̫̞̖͈̣̦͆ͣ̂͐̔o͚̜̰͙̝̽̏͂ͧ̀k̸̝̭̣͑̃͐ͬͅe̽͛͂́̓.
Hence, I go along with it. I fake my emotions, hiding behind a façade. I play along with her, waiting for her to do it.
Waiting for her eyes to turn to the club room's clock.
"..." It was nothing but a fraction of a second, but I saw her eyes clearly shoot a glance at the clock.
That's why I have to l͂͂̓ͪ̿ͩ̊̔҉̢̛͍̬͍͍̫̻͔͕e̖̘̙̺̦̤̥̲̭̤̩̞̩̘̐̑̏̓̒͂̐̏̅͊̽͘͟a̡̡̻͎̗͈͋ͧ̑͆ͤ̂ͫͫ̇̔̽ͫ̓ͭ͛͌ͣ͞v̢̾̀̔̿̓͊ͪ̆ͤ̏ͥͩ̀̉ͨ͌͑̿́҉̸̛̙͎͙͕̘͝e͖͖͚̩͚̯̹͙̻̩̳͉̿̿ͧ̎͜.̸̈́̈̔͊͆̌̀̋ͪ̓̓̄ͧ͜͞͏̗̳̙̫̳͈̱̗̫.
"I need to go to the toilet; be right back." Before Monika can say anything, I shut the club room's door behind me and run.
R̟̊̅ͭu͒̆͡rͨ̑̋ͬͤ͌ͨṵ̰̬r͎̝͕͎̹͖͗̄ͭͧ͒̕ṷ̧͉̺̪̇r̳̲ͪ̑͐̑ͥ̈̈u̟͖̜͐ͮ̐͐ͦr̲̭͋ͣͣ̇ͤ̌ṷ̩̤̏ͣ̊̀̓͜r͉͕̥͙̒͆ͫ͞u͔̺͉̩ͤ͜r͚̜̻͉͚ͬ͗ͪ̂͟u̠̘ͯ̇̿ͤ͞r̗ͨͪ̏̉͗ͅŭͫ͐͞r̬̠̝͍̈̅ͧ̉͊u͎͍̩̱̯̯͕ͫ̓ͣͯ̋̄͜r̵̞̽u̝̙̦̱̫͊ͥ̾ͨ́n̸͇̻͖ͣ̂̉̚̚.̣͇̭̼̗̲ͪ̏̊̔̓͂͆ ̊̀͟R͉͇̫̲̻ͪŭ͙͕̘̋͆̾̏̚r̛̜ͭ̇̚u̻͈r͕̟̜̱̥̣ṵ̷͑r̬̲̫̤̹ͮͬ͆ͨͦ̓u̸̱͚͇̖͖r̠͇ͯ͆͛ͦͅu̹ͣ̒͌̃͂͘ͅr̖̗͕̟̲͕̟̐̆̓ͧ̒̎̔́u͈ͨͮͦr̖̠͛͌̈́̇̑̊u̢̪̦̝̺̘̤͓͒ͨr̟͉̘̂̑̎̉ͯ̏ŭ̲̞̲̤͂̂̄ͩ̒́̚r̝͔̳̒̃ͭ̃͒͘ü̖͔͔̭͙̈́͜n̅̏ͥ̌̌͏̮͖͚ ̠̞̾͆ru̳̤̳͙̯͛̿̈́ͫͫr͎ͤͩͪ̇ͪ̚u͖͖̹̾̓r̠̪̜͚͙̰̎̍u̻̘̤͎̬͐̾̉͢r̰̫̼̮̟̈́̾͑̎ͮ͋ͣ̕ͅu̘̯͊̎͌̍́̓r̐͌̚҉̟̹͚̠ͅú̠̺̭̭̣̗͓r͍̓̅̒ú̢͇̪͙̙̭̳̹̍̊ͪ̒n̩͛ͦ̓ͥͥ.̴̹̉̆͂
̡̹͇͇̜͌̎ͅ
̫͈͍͍͌̓ͩR͍̊̓u̷̠̙̞̒̽̊ň͇̤͉̺̣̙̙̐̈ͭ̈̈.̋͛̎ͣ̊̿҉ ͇͙͉̒̏͂̂̀R̤͕͚̭̜̝U̖͠N͐͛̃!͖͔̫̰̓͝
ŘÙ̼͖̆̈́̏͛̚N̨͇͕͔ͦ̎ͤͨͭͪ͂!̬̪̹̳̭̦͊͊ͦ̀͒̕ͅ!͙͍̲͔͑͞ͅ!̱̤̪̾̃ͣ̚
#57 Fifty Seventh Try
I reach the home economics room in no time. This is where cooking classes are held, and it's no surprise it's empty on a day such as this. With the festival taking place, I doubt anyone would come this way.
S͓̖̺̯ͬ̒̓ȟ̡̭͎̜̎͌e̺̙̗̰̲ ̸̀̐͆ͦ̓̂̆d̟̫͍̎ͮͦ̓̍͋͠o̠̬̝̞ě̵̿̐͗s͇̤̰͚̳̺̓̔͊ṅ͔͚̤̻̥̅ͮ͛ͧ͝'̡̟̭̩͕̝͚͌ͥ͋̋ͩͫt͓͈̼ͦ̓̍̔̄͂̎͠ ̘͗w̘͈̮̤̲̒ͤ̾̌͊̃ͫ͞a̸̼̜̠̺̥͎͇ͨͦ̑͗ͫ͛̚n̠̟̺ͣt͚͎̞̣̊̅ ̩̝͎̙m̵ͤͥe̤̜͌͞ ̄̉͢t̖̝̟̻̬͙ͭ̒͂̓o ͖͎͕̂g̜̰̠̤̳͗ͪ̏ͥ͒̿̚͠e̷͉̪̤̼̣͙̻t͍͙̹̬̬ͫ̉ͫͧ̓̆ͭ ̥͖͖̗̄̀h̼̗̼͆ͮ͌̔̌͟u͇̪͖̱͉ͪͧ̐ͅṙ̶͓̳͈̣͈̺̽̌ͧ͆t̴̠̠̽ͫ͊̈ͦ̐̚.̫͎̦̍͆͊̽̕
I get that. I get that.
Sͯ̂̇͐̔͏̗̩̠̳h͙͔͙̟̝ͮͤ͂͋̓̓͜e̋ͣ̌̃̎͛ͨ ͉̯̠̺̭̳͗̉̆ͥͫ͋w͈̻á̷͔̂͛̓ͨ̎nͩ͒̆̂ͭͫͤ҉̖̥̱̹͖ţ̖s̉ ̮͋̇m̦̔͠e̷̹̣̪͒ ͓̪͉̥͍̎ͤ̇̀ẗ̫͉͎̤́̈́̋o̲͕͎̞̔́͌͟ ̛͗̑͆̎̔̊̀l̨̳͉̗ḯ͙̰̲̫́͋v͚ͪ̒e̽͊̅̔͆҉̮̙ ̺̙̒͌̓w̴͉̬͖͚̼͌͒i̩̙̳̩̺͎͓͗̾ͭ̐̂̌t͓͔̩͊͒͐̓͗̈ͣ͡h͋̒̎̆͞o̷͚̯̦͔͚̳̻͋̌u̔͊̓͂t̲͋́ͦ͘ ͍̞̫ͯ̒͞ḃ̐̈̚͏̭͎͍u͙r̰̖͎̳̝̹̭̊͂̃̔ͣ̀d̺͕̬̦̱̊͗̄ͣ̏̾͠e̦͔̦̥̠ͣ̃̍̚n̹͇̹͙ͯͩͮ͞s̗̭ͨ̏.̳͉̩̼̟̞̃̊̋̾̎͘ͅ
I get that. I get that.
But I need to create a happy ending
The way things are, I won't be able to remember. I need to make sure I do. I need to save them. I cannot fail. I cannot do something wrong. I need to use the right method. There is a clear plan. Follow the plan, reach the conclusion. Throw away morals. Throw away self-preservation. Dedicate to the plan. Make them fall in love. Change their mind. Kill sense of morals. Kill Natsuki's father. Kill self.
Oops.
Oops.
O̸̫͚̥͔̞̰̞̫͎̘͉͙̺̒͆́̅̓̕͡O̧̭̯̺̳̩̮̜̭̐̈ͣ͑ͭ̈́̿͗̍ͧ̑̀͘O̴̧͛̂ͯ̓̋͒͗̿ͣ͋͌̆ͤ̅̓́҉̼̩̳͇̠̲͔̞̳̘̩̱̼̯̲ͅO̶̖̩̩͖̠̬͍̻̳ͧ̏ͩͤ̾̀̇́̈́ͯͮ̎͛ͣ̕O͔̪̟̥͎̹̜̠̗̩̙͈̺̹̼̽̏̾͐̑̿̚͘̕͡O̶̼̜̞̳͎̤͈̭̫̥̞̲ͣ͋̆ͮ̅͝͞O̵̓̎ͣ͑̓̚͏̢̠̳͇̳͠O̡͆̊ͪͨͯͫ͋̈́͛̃̏̉̽ͯͦ͛̎̒̚͜҉̡͙͍̱̠̞͎̺͎̘O̡̧̟̙̥͚̜̖̳̭̹̱̣̣͙̼̞̰̺̠ͭͣ̄̓͞͠O̷͌̈̏̍̂̎͑̈́͂͏͔͇̰͖͇̟̜̙̮̖̬͚͍̝̜̩̠́̕͝ͅỎ͖̤̼̗ͨͮ͛̄̂̒͛̌̏͐ͫͤͩͬ͟͝ͅO̡̭̘̦̝̯̖̱̠̠͍̼ͤ̽ͯ̃̂͒̉̓̀̒͋̅ͥ̆̀͘͟͜O̟͇̪͙̱̤̗̖̥ͮ͗̐͋͆͆̐̆̓͢͜͞͞P͆ͧ̈́ͥ̈̔̌̇͏҉̪͇̜̘̙̜͔̲͕̥̱̤̦̬̦̪̣ͅS̷̼͈̠̖̟̙͙̝̆͊̊ͨ̍̉̅̍̀̆͟.̸ͩ̈̐̓͐̈ͫͯ́́͏̯̻͖̝͖̱̩̕
#35 Thirty Fifth Try
Having taken care of Monika, I head to Yuri's class.
"Mhm..." I think about Monika's behavior. She hasn't acted exactly as I thought she would, and that scares me a bit. Maybe I smiled too much, observed my surroundings with too much care. She's perceptive, so she's bound to respond to these minimal changes. Thankfully, while there were some inconsistencies, it's nothing beyond error. Everything is proceeding as it should, and I've already settled matters with Sayori and Natsuki.
About that... Just as I remember Natsuki, my phone vibrates. Without delay, I take it from my pocket.
"Yes?" I lift the phone to my ear as I make my way to my classroom.
On the other end of the line, I hear a small voice say, "come... now..."
The phone hangs up. Without needing to be told twice, I walk into the class halfway through the lesson, take my stuff and get out again.
If this were my actual high school, I may very well die of embarrassment... With that last thought, I step out of school grounds.
I reach the police station in no time. The quantity of people around has increased a lot, but it's just as I remember it.
"..." I walk into the building, make my way past Mr. Cottonears and into the hallway. This time, he doesn't stop me, and shoots a curious glance instead.
I reach the room where I first found Natsuki. She's currently surrounded by three people, all of which are in formal attire.
"Might you be Memini?" The first, with black-rimmed glasses and cold eyes, questions my identity.
"... Yes." I hesitate, trying to convey emotions suitable to the occasion.
The second, who has a mole under his left eye, says, "I'm not going to beat around the bush; could you coerce your parents into adopting Natsuki?"
By normal standards, if I were to be asked that question normally, I would feel surprised. That said, I already know what type of story this is.
This time, I don't hesitate; "yes."
The three men squint their eyes at me. Without waiting for them to say anything else, I take my phone from my pocket and dial my 'mother's number. It rings once, twice, thrice, and finally someone picks up.
"Hello?" Hearing that voice, I feel a pang of guilt. The person at the other end of the line must be someone who thinks of me as her son, someone who shared memories and times with her, but I'm not. I'm just a self-insert, a thief.
"Hi mom. Are you available?" I put the phone on loudspeaker mode and talk as naturally as possible.
"What are you saying? For you, I have all the time of the world!" The feeling of guilt mixes with embarrassment. My face slightly flushed, I get to the point.
"Can we adopt someone into our family?"
Silence. If there wasn't any, it would be unnatural. It permeates the air, and causes a couple of the men to sigh.
Knowing it wouldn't make sense to leave it at that, I continue, "after a recent event, a friend of mine lost her last part of her family. She's incredibly sweet, and truly deserves to have someone look after her."
"..." More silence.
Desperately trying to salvage the situation, I say, "if I have to, I'll get a job! I'll support her! Just please let me-"
"Memini, what's her name?" My 'mother' abruptly cuts me off.
"... Natsuki," I say gingerly.
"Is she there with you?" she asks.
"Yes..." My voice drifts off into the distance.
"Hand her the phone."
I make my way past the men, and set the phone on Natsuki's hand. She turns loudspeaker mode off, and shyly says, "yes?"
And though I can't hear it, I know.
"Welcome to the family, Natsuki."
Her eyes grow hazier - then tears accumulate. She falls to the floor. Cries escape through the gaps in her defense. And there, in the middle of nothing yet everything, she cries her heart out.
I pull Natsuki into an embrace, knowing the meaning behind her tears.
"From now on, every step of the way, we'll be here for you."
In the end, the three men spoke with mom. I don't have any idea what they may have spoken of, but it seemed quite serious. They exchanged all contact info, got me to sign several modules and even took pictures of me.
"..." I started feeling as if I were being labelled a criminal.
"Don't worry about it. We also really care about Natsuki, and we don't want anything bad to happen to her. We're doing this because we can't let her come with you otherwise."
I guess the fact my parents aren't here to give their own documents means that I'll have to put up with it.
By the time everything ends, it's dark outside. A day has passed without any truly productive outcome, but this is how it's meant to be. Right now, Yuri is in the process of falling for me, and Sayori wants some alone time to figure herself out. I texted her earlier, telling her I was queuing for a game's release and that I wouldn't be there to head back home. I expect her to find me out soon enough, but the conditions for carrying on with life will be met by then.
As we walk towards my house, Natsuki and I remain silent. There isn't much to talk about, and she's probably too bothered with thinking about where to collapse when we reach
At last, my house comes into sight. I point at it and say, "it's over here."
Natsuki nods. Her eyes have stayed hazy this whole time, so I can't read anything into them. What is she feeling? Sadness? Curiosity? Guilt? I can't tell.
I unlock the door and let her in. She leaves her stuff in the hallway, immediately heading up the stairs. Considering what she's been through, it's obvious she'd want some rest.
Instead of following her up to the first floor, I head to the kitchen. I've bought some noodles on my way back, so even someone as culinary inept as me should be able to cook up something... I hope.
Well, I guess I won't know until I try.
After three failed attempts, I finally manage cooking the noodles in an acceptable manner.
All that's left is the sauce... I open the fridge and grab the same sauce I put in there an hour ago. Yes, an hour ago. Please don't ask me what I was doing in that hour; I'm quite exhausted from having to extinguish three fires.
I finally complete the 'dinner', noodles with tomato sauce. Lacking in creativity, but edible. Definitely better than anything I've had since my arrival.
Having completed my work on the food, I head upstairs.
"..." I find Natsuki sleeping on my bed. I'm about to leave her be, but I decide to give her at least one good- I mean, decent meal today.
"Hey Natsuki... Natsuki." I poke her cheek as I call her name.
"Nnn... nnn?" She emits a low noise, signaling her awakening.
"Dinner's ready," I whisper in her ear.
Her back instantly straightens, her head nearly hitting mine in the process. Her eyes aren't shut for long; they're soon directed at me.
"... Dinner?" Natsuki sounds unsure of what's happening, but isn't it obvious?
I smile at her half-asleep face. "Of course, a family has to eat together, right?"
Natsuki is now fully awake. Without the need for me to say anything else, she gets out of bed and heads to the starts, nearly rushing in the process.
Well, I guess it's not so bad to have someone around.
#76 Seventy Sixth Try
After eating the last noodle off her plate, Natsuki takes a deep breath and then releases it.
"Ahhh... That was good!" Her mouth, curved into a smile, shows she can't be lying.
I guess she didn't have many moments like these. That thought circles my head, but I dismiss it. I'm not going to ask her anything remotely related to her old family's daily life. Her mother must be dead for her to be under custody after her father dies.
"Glad you liked it." Without another word, I snatch her plate from the table and start doing the dishes. Natsuki watches curiously, only to quickly rush to my side.
"Let me help," she says gingerly.
That's a very nice thought, but, "no thank you. Let me handle this just for today, alright?"
Natsuki makes a small smile. I can't tell if it's forced or not, but all I need is for my intention to come across to her.
"...Thanks." With those words, she heads upstairs, leaving me with the rhythmical sound of sponge rubbing against ceramic.
After I finish the dishes, I clean up the kitchen. It's a mess, and considering Natsuki will be living here henceforth, I'd rather not show off my sloppy side.
"Well then, that's about it." When I'm done, I finally turn the lights off and head upstairs.
When I reach my room, I'm faced with a problem.
There is only one bed.
Ok, I know what you're thinking, 'but Memini, you knew this from the beginning, couldn't you have set up a countermeasure?', to which I would reply yes, but there's no need to. Well, more like... I'm going to do the worst thing I've done so far tonight.
I take a quick shower and head back to my room. This time, instead of sleeping on the covers, Natsuki is sleeping under them. It makes things easier, and I simply raise them to get into a bed far too narrow for two people.
Two minutes later, Natsuki is half-awake.
"Wha - we - " Her face turns red, but she doesn't let me see it.
"What are you doing here?" Out of consideration for me (or our neighbors), she controls her tone of voice.
"I forgot to tell you there are no other beds nor blankets in the house. It's inconvenient, but we'll have to sleep like this for today. Sorry!" I apologize, showing genuine embarrassment and concern for the situation at hand.
"... I guess." Natsuki still has her back turned to me, but she doesn't protest to the arrangement.
Much later into the night, she turns to me.
"Hey, Memini, are you still awake?" she whispers.
"... are you having trouble sleeping?" I directly ask her.
I can't see her, but she must be blushing; our noses just touched. "... yes."
I sigh. "Well then, there are three options. 1 - I can count the sheep. 2 - I can go buy some milk at a 24/7 store."
After that, I shut up. For obvious reasons, Natsuki asks, "what's the third option?"
"This."
Without hesitating, I lean forward. Our lips touch. Natsuki tries to reject me at first, but then willingly accepts it.
... what a piece of shit I am, preying on her moment of weakness.
I wrap my arms around her, trying melt her warmth into mine.
One day, I will pay for all of this.
I reach deeper. She wants to protest, but she lets go instead.
Hopefully, that day is not tomorrow.