Chapter 7: Ghosts of the past

In his Cabin, Jaden had just finished filling his Detonator magazines with new crystals, when the door opened. Shepard entered.

She looked distraught.

Jaden decided to forgo his usual 'Ah, commander' -response and instead said: "Normally I would ask, if something is wrong. But this time something is clearly wrong."

"Yeah.", Shepard started. "I have a very personal matter..."

"I can already sense the direction you are going, but I'll let you speak with your own pace."

Shepard tried to find a good place to start, then asked: "How much do you know about my history?"

"Mostly what I heard from different sources. Also now that I have been a part of your crew, your actions tell about your past. Anything in particular?"

"Akuze." She tried to sound normal, but even the name alone set fire in her.

"The planet, where according to the reports, you lost your entire unit. Though anyone with a brain knows, that you didn't just 'lose' your unit. Something happened there."

"We.. we were attacked by a large group of Thresher Maws." She briefly closed her eyes; she would always remember it, like it happened yesterday. "They took everyone. I was the only survivor."

"Normally it is customary to say 'I'm sorry' or something similar, but over my time, I've come to learn that no amount of kind words can undo what has happened in the past."

"No.", Shepard regained herself and continued: "But there is more. Admiral Hackett wanted to speak to me privately. He told me that someone has been killing Alliance scientists. These scientists had been working on a secret project. On Akuze."

"An attempt of cover up, obviously."

"Yeah. He gave me the last known location of the last scientist, Dr. Wayne. He thought I might want to check it out, considering the connection to me."

She paused briefly.

"And I'm going to."

"And you came to me because you want me to come with you. To help you find out what really happened there and why."

"Yes. I thought because of your... unusual nature, you might discover something others can't. It's a personal matter, but I hope you would help me with this."

"You know I didn't come this far just to say no.", Jaden paused, then continued: "But you must understand, that whatever we might find, it may not be pleasant for you."

"No. But I need to find out."

"And if the maw attack was deliberate and we find whoever is responsible, they will be held accountable for their actions. Not just for you, but for everyone. When will we be leaving?"

"Right now.", Shepard replied and exited.

Jaden quickly grabbed his weapons from the table and made his way in to the cargo bay.

Jaden and Shepard entered the Mako and landed onto the planet Ontarom.

They began to drive towards the base, where the scientist supposedly was.

As they got close to the base, Mako's radar picked several enemies guarding the entrance. So they drove up to a plateau, where they had an excellent view of the base exterior.

A perfect sniping position.

They took their weapons into their hands, Shepard with her new Spectre -level sniper rifle and Jaden with his Thunderbolt, and moved in to position.

First they simply looked through their scopes to see what was happening.

"Mercs." Jaden said. "Two snipers, others have regular assault rifles."

"Wonder if they let us in, if we ask nicely.", Shepard said sarcastically.

"Somewhat... I highly doubt it."

With a smile, Shepard asked: "Sniper contest?"

"Ah, you can have them. Firing with the Thunderbolt would reveal our position. But I can act as a spotter for you. Take out their snipers first."

And so Shepard did. One of the mercenary snipers simply hit the ground dead. The other began searching for them, but was shot as well before he could locate them. Simultaneously the others began to frantically look around and tried to get to cover. One by one, Shepard shot them, until only one remained.

Understanding the danger, this mercenary tried to make a break for the entrance. But before he got in, he was struck by a lightning, from Jaden's Thunderbolt.

Through her own scope Shepard saw, that against an organic target, the lightning had much more gruesome effect than it did against the Geth. Almost like a small bomb had exploded inside the unfortunate mercenary.

Shepard and Jaden returned to the Mako and drove to the base.

They entered.

Moving carefully, they arrived at the first room, this one filled with lockers and other everyday items one could expect to find from such a base. They approached a second, larger room, when Jaden raised his hand and whispered: "More mercs."

They listened and heard more than a dozen voices. Some were talking about their current task, while others where bragging about various unorthodox thing they have done in the past.

Shepard raised her assault rifle and prepared to enter, but Jaden again raised his hand and whispered: "No. You did beautiful work with the ones outside. I'll deal with them."

Jaden took his energy swords into his hands, but didn't activate them yet. He entered the room.

Moments later, all the lights in the room went out. The darkness also covered the corridor where Shepard was and the first room.

She raised her assault rifle but didn't move and instead listened.

The first reaction from the mercenaries was confusion, who put the lights out. Get the goddamn lights back on, said someone.

This confusion quickly changed, when the first dying screams were heard.

It quickly erupted into frantic chaos of yelling, shooting, more yelling and more shooting.

Outside the room, Shepard could see some very brief red flashes followed by dying screams. She shivered, when she thought about what Jaden, completely clad in black, could do in complete darkness.

Finally, only silence remained.

After a moment, Shepard could hear faint footsteps. Approaching her.

"Jaden... ?", She asked quietly, her weapon ready. She stood completely still.

No answer.

Then about five meters in front of her, one of Jaden's swords suddenly appeared, stabbed through one of the mercenaries. The eerie red glow of the blade perfectly illuminated the look of horror on the mercenary's face. Behind the mercenary, stood Jaden.

"God damnit, Jaden", Shepard said, lowered her weapon and exhaled. "You're scary at times."

"Fear is a powerful tool, especially when used correctly", came the reply.

In the light of the red blade, Shepard could see Jaden point something in the room with his other hand. All the lights came back on. He deactivated the sword and put the hilt on his belt. The mercenary simply slumped onto the floor.

They continued through the room. Seeing the damage Jaden had done reminded Shepard of Chora's Den, where she first encountered him.

After exiting the room, they arrived at a T-junction. On their left, the door panel showed red, implying the door was locked and they heard no commotion inside. The other side, however, the panel was green and they could hear something inside.

They opened the door.

First thing they saw, was a man in combat gear, pointing a pistol at another man, who wore typical doctor's garments. The man in the combat gear turned to face Shepard and Jaden, then yelled: "Stay back! I got no grief with you! All I want is this bastard!"

"Please, he's a madman!", the doctor looked at Shepard and Jaden, then turned back to the mercenary in front of him "Mr. Toombs, you're insane! You need help!"

"Shut up! You don't get to lie today! You d...", he yelled again before suddenly stopping. He turned to face Shepard again and twitched slightly. He recognized her. "Shepard? My God is that you?"

At this point, Jaden had calmly walked slightly to the side, his hands behind his back. He was observing.

"Toombs...", Shepard said quietly. "But.. you were on Akuze.. I saw the Thresher maw pull you under."

"They took me, Shepard.", Toombs told her. "The scientists."

"You can't prove any of this!", Doctor Wayne exclaimed. "This man is delusional!"

Toombs continued: "See. They were running tests on the Thresher maws. They let those things to hit us, just to watch and study. I woke up in a holding cell. The scientists were delighted I survived. Now they had someone to run tests on."

At this point Toombs proceeded to explain all the horrifying things the scientists did to him.

"Toombs, I.. I.. didn't... know", Shepard's voice was trembling with fury and sadness.

She then looked at Jaden and with saddened voice asked "Jaden?"

Jaden slightly lowered his head. His eyes had a red tint to them. Then he spoke with a voice Shepard had never heard before. His voice too had sadness in it:

"He is not lying, Shepard", Jaden said and looked at Toombs. "I can sense it. I can sense all of it."

Shepard was almost frozen in shock.

"You can't believe Toombs! He doesn't have any proof! I demand a fair trial!", Wayne exclaimed.

"You... bastard!", Toombs yelled. "She was on Akuze, she knows the truth!"

"And he..." Jaden turned to face Dr. Wayne. "led the experiments."

That statement alone, froze everyone to the bone.

"I'd believe Toombs over you any day!", Shepard hissed at Wayne, unable to contain her fury. "And I sure as hell believe him.", She looked at Jaden briefly before turning to face Wayne.

Toombs then explained that the scientists were part of a larger group, Cerberus and how he managed to escape. He then confessed that he was the one who had been killing the scientists, to get revenge.

Finally, Toombs said: "This man deserves to die. For you. For me. For all of us. Are you with me?"

As much as Shepard hated Dr. Wayne, she couldn't think of a punishment that would fit his actions.

Shooting him felt too easy.

"No.", said Jaden. "If you truly want to have revenge, don't just shoot him. It's the easy way out for them."

"What?!", Toombs yelled "You weren't there! You don't know what they did to me!"

Toombs raised his pistol. He was going to shoot.

Quickly Jaden shot Toombs with one yellow crystal from his Detonator; the concussive force knocked him unconscious.

Wayne, believing the worst was over for him, said: "I.. I'll stand trial, once we get out."

"No.", Shepard said with her voice still trembling "You won't talk your way out."

"No, he won't.", Jaden agreed. He took his other Detonator, already filled with green crystals, pointing it straight at Wayne.

Shepard's eyes widened; she remembered Jaden's warnings about using the green crystals.

At this point, Wayne tried to run. Jaden quickly waved his hand and Wayne was flung backwards against the wall. He continued push Wayne against the wall, as if he was going to crush Wayne between the wall and the force he exerted. The force, indirectly, pushed some of the loose stuff towards the wall as well. Jaden finally stopped and Wayne slumped onto the floor, coughing. He got up slowly.

"How many were in your unit, Shepard?", Jaden asked quietly, but audibly.

"I.. fifty-one.", Shepard managed to say.

"Fifty-one. Two survivors."

A pause.

"Forty-nine.. Dead.. Souls.. Screaming.. For.. Justice.. Vengeance.. That.. They.. Shall.. Have.." With every word, Jaden fired several green crystals at Wayne.

The crystals were embedded in him but didn't activate. He was going to activate them later.

"Crystals?", Wayne almost laughed "You shot me with crystals?!"

"You shouldn't worry about the fact that I shot you with crystals. What you need to worry about is when they activate.", Jaden spoke with his burning voice: "You're a scientist. Tell me, do you know that if radiation has enough intensity, it can partially disintegrate matter?"

Wayne looked confused at first, until he realized the implication. The smug look on his face quickly faded.

"If you're brave enough, however, you can always dig them out of your body. In which case, upon activation, the crystals will simply induce a terminal radiation illness in you."

A pause.

"Either way, this place will forever be your tomb."

With his powers, Jaden lifted Toombs of the floor and turned to leave with him and Shepard.

Before the door closed, he added:

"When the crystals start to glow, make peace with yourself."

When they exited each room and the base, as an extra, Jaden welded the doors shut with his energy swords.

As they got to the Mako, Shepard finally managed to ask: "Is he going to be allright?", briefly looking at the unconscious Toombs.

"Yes. He will be out cold for couple of hours. Nothing more serious than that. I'd imagine you want to see he gets the help he needs."

"Yeah."

They began to drive away from the base. Neither of them spoke anything.

After they had driven for some time, Jaden took the Detonator, that he used to shoot Wayne, into his hands. The activator switch glowed white. He looked at the switch for a good long while. He then flipped the weapon around and offered it to Shepard, saying: "It's yours, if you want."

Shepard stopped the Mako and carefully took the Detonator into her hands. The weapon was lighter than she had thought. She too looked at the activator for a long time, then held her thumb above it for another long while. Finally, she closed her eyes and pressed the activator.

The white glow quickly faded.

Shepard opened her eyes, exhaled and then asked:

"Is it...?"

"It is done.", Jaden confirmed.

Shepard returned the weapon to Jaden.

In a moment frustration, Shepard punched the dashboard multiple times. Then she took many deep breath to calm herself and said: "I.. just.. can't believe."

"When you came to talk to me the first time on Normandy, do you remember what I told I had been doing before joining your team?"

"Yeah."

"To me this was just another instance of that kind of people. I have seen things like that before. You might have not, at least to this extent.
That it was your own unit made it much more personal to you."

He continued

"Believe me, you wouldn't have reacted the way you did if it was just some other Alliance unit."

"I know."

"Still, I believe that Wayne deserved more than a trial where he would talk his way out or just him being shot. You don't have to agree with me but I'd hope you understand."

"I do.", She said quickly "I.. I wanted him to pay. For every life he took. But I couldn't do even half of what you did to him. So.. thanks."

They sat for a while, then Jaden continued:

"Listen, you can't change the past. None of us can. Your experiences have forged you into who you are now, the first human Spectre. Going after possibly the greatest threat you or anyone has ever faced. You are who you are, not just because of your good experiences, but also because of the bad ones."

"Thanks." Shepard said with a faint smile.

"We all have our past", Jaden continued "Ghosts of our past. You. Me. Everyone."

"How do you deal with that?" Shepard asked.

"Mostly I chose to detach myself from everyone, not the best solution, but it has worked for me. Less 'ghosts' that way. But even then, I do have a fair share of them."

"Like what?"

"For example, my past is partially shrouded."

"What do you mean by that?"

Jaden's voice got much more serious as he continued: "What I'm going to tell you... You must not tell anyone else. I mean anyone. It's not a threat or a demand, but you would endanger everyone you tell."

"I understand.", now Shepard was curious.

Jaden began:

"Just over three hundred years ago, 308 to be precise, I woke up in a deep-space research station. Owned by an unknown organization."

"How did you get there?"

"That's the part. I don't know. I simply woke up there, with no memory of who or what I was, how I came to be there, what was done to me, nothing."

"How did you get out?"

"By the time I woke up, something had already gone wrong. Alarms were ringing everywhere and the self-destruct sequence was initiated. Not a living soul was there, except me."

"What happened?"

"The station was overrun by monstrous things, straight from old horror vids. But this time, it was real. Most likely result from another experiment."

He continued:

"I made, or fought, my way to the escape shuttles. In the process, I came to notice, I possessed some unusual abilities."

"Biotics?"

"More than just biotics. You aren't a biotic yourself, but you understand the basic principle behind them, yes?"

"Yes, by using their implants and element zero laced in their bodies, they can generate mass-effect fields to manipulate objects and such."

"Quite so. There are few other abilities, but you could say biotics can primarily manipulate mass."

She nodded. She was following him so far.

"My abilities include similar abilities, but they also go far beyond that. Because I can manipulate energy itself.
And in the end, everything is energy. Even we are just solidified energy."

"My God.. at least that does explain some of the things you have done."

"Indeed."

Something terrifying came to Shepard's mind and she asked:

"You're not.. Are you.. omnipotent?"

"Hah, no. Though in a way yes." He continued: "There is a limit of how much energy I can manipulate at any given time. An extremely strict limit, considering the magnitude of powers that can exist within our universe. Though anything below that limit, in theory, I could do."

He paused.

"For example, breaking matter into energy, or reforming energy into matter is one of the hardest things to do in a larger scale, so don't expect to see me go and wipe out anything in our way by just waving my hands."

She laughed little, that would indeed look funny and terrifying.

"Mostly I have only used my powers in ways that could be mistaken for biotics, or my invisibility and such. Those few times you have seen red energy around me,
that is a sign of something different."

"Yeah, seeing you punch a fully grown Krogan into two, that was something. But why red? Could it be blue or green?"

"Red is often seen as a color of danger, and that is exactly what I am if it comes to that."

Another pause, then she asked:

"Can I ask... your weapons?"

"There were some advanced schematics in the station, I copied parts of them, but primarily my weapons work because of me. Also a good way to prevent them from falling into wrong hands."

Something else came in her mind and she asked:

"It probably sounds stupid, but Doctor Chakwas once informed me that she or anyone else hasn't ever seen you eat or drink anything. Is that related to your energy manipulation?"

"So, you worry about me not eating or drinking anything", Jaden sounded amused. "But yes. I do not have to eat or drink anything. Ever.
While I still require energy to sustain myself, I do not have to produce it through any complex chemical reactions, I can simply take it from around me."

"Even now?"

"Yes. You might not notice it inside your suit, but look at the internal temperature."

She did, and it told her everything.

"This energy draining effect... It's not dangerous, is it?"

"Normally like this, no. But it is noticeable. Sometimes I choose to disable it, in order to mask it. And yes, if I wanted, I could alter it to the point where everything around me gets almost instantly frozen."

"And you wear completely black clothing for some reason."

"My true form would be terrifying to look at and it would draw unwanted attention. A lot of it."
"Sometimes, I would show it to those I am going to destroy. So in their final moments, they would understand how futile it was to go up against me."

So many thoughts were racing in Shepard's mind, she finally asked: "How did you get back in civilization then?"

"I made my way to the escape shuttles and plotted a course for the Citadel, moments before the station self-destructed.
Even though I said I had no memory of myself, I still possessed memories, such as language, about element zero, about anything that would be 'common knowledge'."

"Why are you calling yourself 'Jaden' if you don't remember your past"

"It read on the pod, where I woke up from."

A pause.

"On Citadel, I tried to think what I would do next. Then I found it. Some thugs, few Turians were robbing an Asari. Due to her youth, she was completely defenseless. And no-one.. Did nothing."
"So I did. And ever since, I have been going after those kinds of people."

"Surprised no-one has come after you. Shadow Broker, any merc groups."

"I am sure many have tried. And are still trying. It is one of the reasons I have had very little contact with anyone. Joining your team against Saren was something new to me. I wanted and still want to help you against him, but this is also risky to me. It is also why you must tell no one what I have told you now."

"I won't. On that, you can trust me." She took few deep breaths. "So much information, but I'm glad you told me. Thank you."

"I didn't trust you at first; you were still a stranger at the time, no matter what I knew about you. But on the other hand, you deserve to know. You took a risk taking me with you, without knowing practically nothing about me. Both in here today and generally on your hunt for Saren."

"Seems like that risk was worth it."

"Yes. Yes it was."

Shepard got back onto the wheel and drove the Mako to a open area, where she activated the locator beacon, so the Normandy could pick them up.

On Normandy, they both exited the Mako and said nothing to each other or anyone else, despite some of them no doubt had questions. Shepard was still visibly upset about Akuze, but also content. And as usual, no one could see Jaden's expressions.

Shepard went right into her cabin, she really needed a good rest after all that, Akuze and Jaden revealing so much about himself.

Jaden too returned to his cabin, put his weapons on the table and then stood still.
He felt slight guilt. He had bent the truth to some degree. About what he had told to Shepard.

Notes

So, Shepard has atleast partially dealt with Akuze. And she got some one-on-one time with Jaden. Plus Jaden opened up a bit.
Yes, the mission to Ontarom was a duo mission; no one but Shepard and Jaden were there.
And Toombs was still unconscious when Jaden and Shepard talked to each other, so he didn't hear anything sensitive.

Im not completely sure if Shepard's unit was 51 soldiers, but it was said that 50 died (at the time Toombs wasn't known to be alive) and Shepard was the only known survivor.
So 51.

Originally i had planned that in some dire situation (at first with Haliat, who would have trapped him and everyone else. And then later changed to Balak, who wanted to kill millions of people), Jaden would have suddenly emerged in a basically god-mode and would have destroyed everyone.
Afterwards Shepard would have demanded answers from him. But it sounded too cheesy and.. yeah.
This felt like a better way to reveal about Jaden. After Shepard told him about something personal, Jaden told her something personal.

The whole 'disintegrating matter' with radiation; years ago i remember reading that very, very intense gamma radiation can break down wood, well its structure.
Maybe the green crystals generate that much radiation, or they use some other form of radiation.

============== Possible spoiler below:===========================

As stated in the end, Jaden had bent the truth. What he told about his powers and abilities, is all well and true.
But the only part about 'waking up in a research station 308 years ago', that is true, is that he really woke up 308 years ago somewhere.
Somewhere that wasn't a research station.