Dreamer: New Chapter! I'm sorry I have no excuse for this taking so long other than I'm being lazy and have spent way too much time reading Naruto and Transformers stories lately. That being said I'll keep this short and get right down to answering reviews.
Guest- Oh trust me, there are going to be some butterfly effects, not just Harley saving lives. I've got a lot of idea's for this story (like all of my other ones post and just taking up space on my laptop) but its actually putting them down and filling in the spots in my head that is the hard part. I'm glad you've enjoyed my story thus far and I hope you enjoy this new chapter just as much!
wolfimus prime- I managed to get part of you prank into this chapter. What does the fox say indeed? ;3
meep15- I'm always in it for the smiles! I blame my love of comedies and my dad for never making any of my stories really all that serious. Though my out look on Mary Sues (and my poor lungs) will never be the same after a run in with a Lord of the Rings fanfic dedicated to some of the Mary Sues. Hope mine never turn out that bad. Whacha think of this chapter?
Guest- Your prank will probably be in the next chapter for sure. I'm thinking Harley's going to need proper flying lessons soon. Any advice on who this prank should target?
Iron-ninja- I know, I know. Here, new chapter. Please don't kill me! *Hides behind new chapter and a plate of cookies*
Key-
"Singing, or AI speaking."
"Radio."
"Spanish." (Translation.)
"Normal."
Message.
Thoughts.
Sound effects.
I frowned as I looked at the Vid Screen in front of me. Texas was lining up to take on Maine, Wyoming and York on the Training Room floor. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, and I think Delta knew that too.
"What are you going to do?" Sigma suddenly appeared beside me and I squealed, falling off the edge of the cliff and near Red Base. Gravity in Blood Gulch ceased for a moment, letting the momentum of my fall propel me in the same direction but not making me speed up as I fell. When I was within a less harmful distance of the dirt, I restarted the gravity.
I still landed on my head though.
"Ow, god dammit Sigma. I thought you said you'd stop popping up out of nowhere!" I growled as the AI reappeared at the bottom of the cliff. He looked amused at my current state. I flipped him the finger before standing up and dusting imaginary dirt off my armor.
"My apologies Alpha, I hadn't meant to startle you." I glared at the AI of Creativity for a second longer before huffing. Grabbing Sigma's arm, I teleported us to the basement of Blue Base.
"I'm starting to think you and Omega just like doing it so I look like a fool." I said before moving over to the work bench and stools that I conjured up. Taking a seat I motioned for Sigma to take one as well as I once more brought up the Vid Screen I'd had on moments before.
"I believe that would be more Omega then myself." Sigma said as we watched the match start.
"Ow…" I winced as Tex just knocked Wyoming, York and Maine backwards. "Glad I'm not them."
Maine must have been able to get Wyoming's Temporal Distortion Unit before going after Tex. There is no other way he could have been able to take Tex by himself. I thought watching as much the same ass kicking happened to the poor men on the training floor.
"Do you have a plan?" I looked over at Sigma before a new Vid Screen popped up. This one had Agent Florida nearing the Training Room. Hopefully my plan could work.
"Something like that." I shrugged with a hidden grin, focusing on the Agent. "Can I ask you to keep a look out?"
"Alpha, what are you doing?" Sigma demanded, and I think I heard worry in his voice.
"Just keep a look out. Warn me if anyone tries to go through this path," I said before appearing in the empty hall, locking the blast doors on either end.
"Agent Florida," I grinned behind my helmet. Said Agent was looking back and forth between the two blast doors, then his helmet turned in my direction. "I was hoping I could speak with you for a moment."
"And who would be asking?" He asked easily, not a defensive tone in his voice. I momentarily wondered what ripple effect this would cause. I didn't know Flowers well enough from the series, so I couldn't gauge how well this would turn out for either of us, but I supposed, having my future body guard helping me was a step up.
I couldn't really just expect to go talk to Tex and say 'Hi Tex! My names Harley! I've replaced you're boyfriend recently and I need your help changing things so everyone lives!'. Yeah, I don't doubt she'll find some way to kick my aft half way across the galaxy.
I took an AI second to contemplate my answer before giving it. I hadn't actually gotten that far ahead when I first planned this meeting which was about... Nine minutes before Tex entered the training room and I found that Flowers wasn't doing anything. I felt it was a perfect time to try my hand at meddling.
"Alpha," I said, straightening my back, bringing my sniper back so the barrel was pointed up as it rested against my shoulder. "My designation is Alpha. I'm the AI that runs the Mother of Invention."
"Its a pleasure to meet you, Miss Alpha." Flowers said genuinely and I blinked behind my visor.
"What did you say?" I sputtered, making sure that the unchangeable voice filter was still reading out Church's voice. It was, which made this situation all that more suspicious.
"Well that didn't take long for someone to figure out." Sigma huffed from within the systems and I wanted to smack him at that moment.
"Miss," Flowers was laughing at me, I'm sure of it.
"I. Am. Not. A w-woman." I lied, stuttering in shock. Perhaps the fact my shock of someone figuring me out would help cover it up?
"Yes, you are, ma'am." Flowers had the audacity to give a mock salute after his words.
"How can you tell?" I challenged right back, my rifle disappearing into digital dust for a while.
"Very few men stand with their hands on there hips like that," Flowers laughed, pointing at my avatar and I looked down. Oh boy, he was right, I stood in the 'I'm-Your-Mother-And-I'm-Always-Right' pose my mother always took when dealing with Noel and I.
Sigma's laughter could be heard from my little version of Blood Gulch, and I vowed to get him back for this. My hidden Vid Screen happily informed me that Tex and the boys were on Round 4.
"Okay, so I'm not exactly male in mind. Is there a problem with that?" I challenged, put out that I'd been found out in less time then I'd ever have imagined. The avatar and the voice filter didn't really scream 'I'm-A-Woman!'.
"Not at all Miss Alpha, its a pleasure to meet you actually. I take it you've been the one behind the rather odd occurrences recently?" Flowers inquired, sounding rather amused.
"A virus." I stated simply. Its true in a sense. Delta started calling me an little virus after he found out what happened to the Chairman's ship. Whoops.
"I take it you aren't here for just pleasantries are you?" Flowers asked, his back straightening a little.
What to say? This was getting a little more complicated now. Damned my brash thoughts and irrational need to do something to beat away boredom.
Sigma was quiet, though he was still watching. This was making me metaphorically sweat.
Yeah, no pressure at all. I thought bitterly before straightening my own back once more. "Its unfortunate that this is the case. I have a rather illogical worry, one that I have deemed troublesome and needs dealing with. Something I believe you can help me with, Agent Florida."
Big words but for some reason I felt like I was quoting someone.
"A worry?" Flowers asked in confusion. I turned to look out the lone window between the shut blast doors.
"AI are created from a template. Smart AI like myself have a better understanding of human emotion compared to dumb AI. Worry is one of several things that are written in my coding, Mr. Flowers." I looked out the window, at the stars that seemed magnificent from this view. I'd always wanted to go into space, but one thing held me back. The fear of never being seen or heard.
Why does that matter? Why it matters because in space, no one hears your screams. If something happens, I could be alone in an endless universe. The very idea of even being cut from human contact like that should I go to space was a nightmare. Shaking the thought of how that could be worse in my current state, I turned my attention back to Flowers who was waiting patiently for me to continue.
"I've calculated several things over, but one thing always frags with my outcome. I see several outcomes for Project Freelancer, but my main concern is the Agents. Human emotion is a hard thing to add to a calculation, it isn't a number we can add and say that is it. I have to make my calculations on facts, and put forth hypothesis on what will occur based on my idea's of human reaction. Curiosity, pain, greed, love, everything is illogical to an equation and I worry that some of my predictions my just end up reality." I created a screen showing the fight going on between the three male Agents and the kick ass woman named Tex beating the shit out of them. This one, Flowers could see.
"And what outcomes do you predict?" Flowers was curious, good. They always said I could be Slytherin.
"Best case? Someone dies while another gets locked behind bars. Most likely case? Mostly everyone dies and there's only really a few people left hiding among the stars." I shrugged. I hoped for the former, my goal was to kill a few annoying birds. Felix probably among the list in my head.
"That's not a very bright out look." Flowers cheerfully told me.
"No, its why I'm trying something else. This competitive thing the Director has going isn't healthy for anyone involved. Greed, hate, and other negative feelings play into that prediction and it ain't pretty. Its literally the metaphorical 'bomb' waiting to go off." I watched as yet another round was finished in the training room with a flinch. "Yikes, she's laying it on them thick."
"Why come to me?" Flowers brought my attention back to himself and I looked over at him with a hidden smirk.
"Because I had a simple question to ask," NOT.
"And what question would that be, Miss Alpha?" Alright, how to word this so I don't get myself revealed.
Alright, think like Prow- Nope, never mind that's a bad idea. Think like Jazz, Harley, think like Jazz. Again, I love AI time. Minutes of thinking for me were mere seconds for Flowers. Its awesome when you can turn it on and off when you liked.
"If it came down to the grind, would you pick your comrades and friends here at Freelancer, or would you choose the side of a corrupted Government? Your team mates or your own gain? It is an odd question for a group such as the Freelancers who have spent so much time competing for their own gain, but of everyone, I think you'd be the one on this ship to answer." I smirked, not worded as well or cool as I would want, but worded none the less. Before I could pat myself on the back further, Sigma interrupted me.
"Alpha, several crew members are trying to get through the hall you are currently blocking off. What did you do to the blast doors?" I rolled my eyes before responding.
"I locked them, give me a second Sig," I turned back to the Freelancer who was watching me as the blast door on the other end opened up and the Vid Screen of Tex kicking ass in round six disappeared. "Looks like someone's trying to get through this section. I will speak with you again soon, Agent Florida. Under better circumstances I hope, my apologies for trapping you here. If you've made your decision, I believe someone's going to start giving Maine and Wyoming live ammunition and grenades on the training floor, I wouldn't want anyone hurt because some fragging idiot did so."
"Of course Miss Alpha," Flowers sounded amused.
"Also, please keep my gender a secret if you can, I'm not technically supposed to be talking with you. Like at all." I said, letting a bit of embarrassment leak into my voice before I disappeared from the corridor. Florida disappeared and the next minute, I was releasing the other blast door, watching as three soldiers walked into the passage I'd been occupying.
"What the hell was that?"
"I hope its not that joker again, I'm still on light duty since Agents Wyoming and Washington landed on me."
"You think that's bad? The toilets on my level were completely backed up yesterday!"
I whistled innocently when Sigma sent me a flat look as we watched the three soldiers.
"I don't even want to know."
I'm sure you don't Sigma. Just wait 'til ya see my next prank. I cackled, turning away from the other AI and disappearing once more into hiding. I'm getting good at it too. By the time Sigma found me, Florida had somehow managed to keep York from loosing his eye (though he'd still have a scar on his face from the blast) and I'd completed the plans for my next pranks and already set them in motion once York had made it to the Med Bay.
"ALPHA!"
"What?!"
"Fix this!"
"I must say Miss Alpha, that maze you made of the ship was splendid!" Flowers said enthusiastically as I met him in his quarters later that day.
"Your only saying that because I gave you the map and the schedule for what doors changed when." I snorted.
Insanity had run rampant on the ship as everyone was forced through the maze that was the Mother of Invention. I'd managed to rig every blast door and elevator (thank the stupid soldiers from earlier for that idea) to a maze. Some doors would open at random times, elevators would only go one or two floors, and the directionally challenged aboard were left lost within the ship. Add on top of that the rigged prank calls to the Freelancers before I set up the maze and you have an even bigger disaster. They were left trying to get to a person, who wasn't where they should be an with no way to communicate with anyone beside the person in shouting distance.
All in all, Project Freelancer was starting to look like a zoo, and I hadn't even gotten 'What does the Fox Say?' by the time people were hitting anything that resembled a computer. Annoying music videos? By gods, and I thought that story with Jazz and the Decepticons had been amazing, this was even better!
York, Flowers, Tex and the Med Bay in general were the only ones that didn't get fully targeted. York and Flowers because I liked them. Tex for obvious reasons. The Med Bay because I caught a glimpse of the CMO and promptly stopped targeting them.
"By the way, beware the Hatchet."
"What does that mean?" Flowers was starting to learn to get used to my cryptic words.
"It means, you guys have your own Ratchet."
"Impressive twerp." Sigma and Delta had spend a good while reprimanding me for my prank. They'd taken it upon themselves to drag me back to the canyon and ground me to Blue Base.
Yes, I'm breaking the Fourth Wall to tell you that two AI have grounded me.
Now, since I'm not allowed to leave the Base unless the Director needs me, I'm stuck having Omega as a babysitter right now on top of him continuously poking at me. Literally too.
"Alright! That's it! Enough!" I growled, turning around and swatting the hand that had been poking me in the back of the head repeatedly for the last... Four hours...
My eye started twitching as I looked at Omega. "Do you have nothing better to do then bug me?"
"Not really."
"I can't believe I'm saying this but... Go posses someone. I'm trying to plan." I huffed, turning back to my workbench.
"Plan what?" Omega scoffed and I was reminded very much of a more angry sounding Church. Oh wait, Omega is basically and angry copy of Church! "You've been sitting there forever just trying to fix things you can't fix from here. Let some of it run its course."
I paused to stare at the AI in shock. "Y-Y-You know?!"
"Of course I do, Sigma decided that you needed a babysitter so he told me a bit about you. Twerp, their soldiers, you can't take every scar from them." Omega was shifting awkwardly beside me as I continued to stare at him. He was shifting even more so when I made the helmet of his disappear.
"Are you seriously trying to comfort me?"
"A word about this and I'll kill you."
"You can't kill me."
"Then I'll make you disappear and tell Delta you destroyed yourself some how."
"Nuh uh."
"Lets just plan the next prank."
"You're gonna help me pull a prank?"
"Sure, I hate most of the bastards on this fucking ship."
"...Sweet. So this was my next idea was..."
Dreamer: Yet another chapter done, again, I'm sorry it took so long. I'm going to keep saying this at every chapter so...
If you have awesome idea's for pranks I'd love to hear them! PM or leave your suggestions in the reviews, slag, you got targets I'd be more than happy to even hear who your prank should get!
Suggestions for anything hilarious to happen anywhere in the story is also welcome. I've got a list of crazy shit for Harley to do and I'd love to see more trouble she can get into.
Let me know how well I'm writing their characters too. I had a bit of trouble trying to figure out Flowers so any suggestions you got or even tips are very welcome.
This chapters pranks are dedicated to:
-Guest (The one who reviewed Chapter 1)
-wolfimus prime
-Iron-ninja
I think that's all, if not you'll hear more next chapter.
Delta: For more chapters on Substituting a Life, Review, Fav, and Follow. *Turns to Dreamer* By the way, where was I this chapter?
Dreamer: Helping Flowers save York. *Delta sighs before disappearing*
Until next time mon ami!
HOWLIN' MA-
PRIMUS DON'T TOUCH THAT YOU FRAGGER!