Hello, here is another chapter, as i said before this is a multiple update taken after my exams and that is why the chapters are uploaded as one.

I recently re-watched the series and a lot of the flashbacks especially with Alice and Cyrus are a bit mixed up so i wanted to put it a bit in order my own way so if somethings are a bit confusing then assume it's just artistic licence on behalf of me.

Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just this little plot bunny.

Please Read and Review.

If You Really Love Someone

Chapter 5-Cyrus-In the Eye Abides the Heart

Events-As Alice and Cyrus continue their adventures in Wonderland a comment passed between the two of them shows each other their past and what their future could have been and how they differentiate from each other.

They had carried on walking for a long time, it had been days since the clearing and while they tried if they could to sleep with a roof over their head, nine times out of ten they were sleeping out in the open or on more than one occasion in the bottle that was hidden under a bush or a hedge and sharing tiny mouthfuls of the rapidly running out mushroom pieces that Alice over time had managed to snag.

Sleeping in the bottle however was becoming problematic or at least for Cyrus. There wasn't really much room in his bottle and his bed was a small area with a load of pillows and blankets and while he allowed Alice to sleep there while he took the nearest space to the cork door it was doing nothing for him because he found himself awake on more than one occasion shooting furtive glances at the woman who was sleeping who he had a feeling he was completely head over heels falling in love with.

It wasn't going to be hard when she eventually cast her wishes and she moved on and he was forced to serve another master or mistress. It was going to be excruciating. He knew that know. Alice was everywhere. She was in his very essence, she consumed his very soul and no this poetic speech wasn't the thoughts of a late night rambler. He had bitten his lip nearly to shreds. He knew the reasons why he shouldn't progress his relationship with Alice forwards. He knew that despite her taking her time someday she would use her wishes. And even before that she might decide to go back to her own world. And even if he could go with her (and it wasn't like he could because he had travelled realms before-that was nothing new) but either way she would use her wishes or she would be enslaved to a life with him at her side. Even Cyrus whose parents (while traditional on some values) had been slightly more liberal than some of the more conservative members of his village wouldn't have approved of him being at Alice's side while she eventually got married and had children with someone else.

And that was if his heart could take it.

Even if that didn't happen, the thoughts swirling inside his head still came back to the knowledge that eventually Alice would use her wishes.

And that gave him another conundrum to think about that if he was being really honest with himself he only ever thought about when he was alone and feeling really desperate with himself. What if she did want a relationship later on. Could he allow such a thing?

Cyrus was not blind nor was he not a human being. On more than one occasion he had indulged in being nothing but amusement for the occasion mistress. Actually if he was being honest he had indulged from time to time with a master-though it had never been physical. Perhaps Alice wanted that kind of relationship, where he was just a warm body for her bed at night, something she could use until she got board and wanted a man where she could have a future with. She had no guarantees with a genie who was constantly in danger of being hurt or killed simply because of what he was.

And then there was the same circle of distrust and despair that constantly ran around his head until he felt like he was going quite mad. He needed to sleep most times but when he did it was an uneasy sleep lulled only by the sounds of Alice breathing.

Gods he was truly pathetic. If either of his brothers could see him know they would never stop taking the piss out of him until the day he died. And even then the both of them would follow him to the afterlife in order to continue to amuse themselves.

Alice had told him she wanted to see some of the sights of Wonderland and Cyrus for all of his knowledge of other worlds knew very little about this one and strove to try and keep up with the strong and dependant woman that was currently marching ahead of him. They would stop at whatever shelter they could to find food but they still had quite a good haul of bread and cheese and ham from their previous find as well as some rather good wine that Cyrus decided they were saving for a special occasion…or when Alice left him and he needed to get blind drunk.

They were heading this time to the Mellow-Marsh. It was something Cyrus had heard about once but had never actually seen and Alice was enchanted by the idea of melting sugar in a big pond with the fireflies surrounding them. They had chatted briefly about the last time she had been in Wonderland as a little girl but they had yet to discuss anything really personal when Cyrus decided to broach the subject as they worked their way through the undergrowth. The rabbit had long since gone and while Alice had been hesitant to trust that he would not tell any enemies…more specifically the Caterpillar and the Red Queen that he had heard so much about in so little time. They chatted amicably as they walked and on more than one occasion Cyrus got the distinct impression that Alice might have more tricks up her sleeve in terms of both proof and the ability to fight if cornered-than she was letting on.

"So what do you think your father will do once he sees whatever proof you will manage to sneak back?"

Alice paused and for one second Cyrus thought that he might have offended her but she shook her head and smiled. Damn, there went his heart again.

"I hope he will believe me. At the very least he can stop going on and on over dinner about how I need a husband to keep my wilfulness in check"

There was a pause as Cyrus tried to contemplate what she had just said. He had always grown up believing that regardless of what your parents wished you married for love really. Or you married and then love came later. He had never really seen a relationship much less a marriage that had not been based on love. Even in Wonderland where the rules were more different there was always a common thread of some kind of love in most families. His own had been filled with love regardless of the differences between his mother and his father.

"You don't want to marry for love?"

Stupid he chastised himself. Why the hell would he ask a question like that?

"Where I come from love is sometimes considered a strong anomaly." Alice replied. "Sometimes all you can get out of a marriage, is a nice house with some comforts, a cemented place in society and the love of your children. If you search in my world for love in a husband you might find yourself disappointed"

She said this in a monotone voice as if she was repeating something from a script that she had learnt by heart as a child. Cyrus blinked. He had travelled many lands that much was true but he had not travelled to the land without magic that Alice had described as her home. And now listening to some of the strange teachings it seemed to practice he found himself wondering why anyone would want to go back to a place that sounded so devoid of love or hope or…well…anything of importance really. He thought about what to reply to that and found that he couldn't. He didn't know how. How do you tell someone that is slowly becoming your everything that the one person she wants to return to doesn't deserve her if he thinks that she doesn't need love to be happy in life?

"I think that's wrong" he said finally. "I think if your lucky enough in this world to find love then you take it with both hands regardless of station or money"

Alice laughed. Again the sound was glorious and again the sound went straight to a certain part of his anatomy that most certainly did not need encouragement right now.

"I suppose your right Cyrus but…where I come, the Queen and Prince Consort that rule us…they are…very closed off. They like things a certain way and therefore so do English society. There are severe consequences in your community if you break these rules that were put in place for you and that's why my father is so keen to pretend that I am insane rather than opening his mind to the possibility that a place like Wonderland could exist"

Cyrus paused but in all honestly he didn't know what to say. What did you say to someone when their outlook on life was so bleak that in reality a place like Wonderland a paradox if ever their was one-looked like a safe haven.

Alice nodded at his silence as if it was confusing for her to understand just like it was for him.

"So what about you?" she asked. "Are your family still around?"

What was left of his heart-that he long thought was gone-gave a painful twitch. The ache that the disintegration of his family at his own hand had become over time nothing more than that. An ache. His mother was long dead by now, his two brothers into bottles and slaves to other people just like he was and his father had been dead and buried long before he could watch his youngest fuck up the rest of the family. The agony had dulled down over the years but the guilt…well…sometimes that hit him like a punch in the stomach over and over again whenever he least expected it.

"There's nobody left" he said finally trying not to remember the way his mother smiled or the crinkle in his father's eye and the way he and his two brothers would curl up when they were still young enough to share a bed on the floor of their little hut and their mother's magic was something to be celebrated from behind the safety of closed doors and not to be feared like when their father had died and she had been unable to break the laws of magic. Life it seemed had been so simple then and it was hard to believe that in eight years of his father dying his whole family had fallen apart.

Alice nodded her eyes dulled somewhat with sympathy. There was a long pause where the two of them stared at each other in the middle of the yellow spotted road that they were travelling on and then Cyrus had to pull himself away least he get lost in those damn eyes again and ruin the carefully constructed barriers that were in place for a damn good reason, no matter what his heart was telling him.

"Come on then" he said with a smile "Enough of the bad memories, let's make it to the Mellow-Marsh and you can have your first taste of marshmallow"

Watching Alice licking sticky marshmallow off her fingers would surely be a wonderful (and torturous) experience but when she did eventually leave him then these memories, the smile, the laugh, the way her body had once fit so perfectly against his own…well…they would be all that would keep him going. Cyrus honestly wasn't sure what the hell he wanted more-for her to use her wishes and end this torment or for her to never use them so they could stay in this limbo forever.

Alice smiled once a slow glorious smile and linked her hand through his arm.

"Come on" she said almost radiating happiness. "Let's go and have a look at this marshmallow thing you keep talking about" she dragged her eyes up from where they were looking at their hands linked together over his arms and then slowly looked at him. Cyrus felt his knees buckle. His father had always said in the eye abides the heart…well…if that was what he meant when it came to looking into Alice's eyes then it went without saying that he was now eternally sure that Alice over the course of a weak had completely ruined him for any other woman.

Ever.

And let me know what you think please, the next chapter should follow from this one and will be in Alice's point of view.

Also i am taking the view that Alice was alive during the time of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert due to dress and the way the characters acted in her past therefore i incorporated the values of the Victorians into this story as well as a little bit of historical context.

This story will include a couple of scenes from 1x02 but please be aware that the dialogue will not be exactly the same so please keep that in mind. And again i had taken liberties with some of Cyrus's backstory but again that is on me, please enjoy.