A/N This story will contain triggers for suicide/depression and abuse (non physical). If you or someone you know is in crisis you can call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline or 1-800-799-7233 for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Holding things in is not being strong, or brave but getting help and facing those problems and fears straight on is.

Trees had started to blur miles back, blending into each other and the rain that had been down pouring for hours now. A green sign labeled La Push, next exit, came into view and the orange rusted truck moved right. By the time the truck came to a stop in front of the familiar red house the rain had thankfully cleared up, although it had not taken the dark clouds with it. God forbid Forks experience some sun. Seated on a decent plot of land directly next to the woods, the Black's house hadn't changed in years. The red-painted wood paneling was a little worse for wear and the tin roof cover had rusted slightly but the ranch-style home still gave off a welcoming aura. She hadn't been to their house in years, and honestly she was just as worse for wear. Turns out that those extra years hadn't been kind to anyone. Well no one, except for Jacob Black. Formerly, he had been a sweet, awkward teen. Not scrawny by any means, but clearly still coming into his own. The Jacob Black that now came bounding out of the garage towards Bella could only be described as someone who puberty had hit like a train. Jake hadn't grown up, but he clearly grew out, with all his new weight being made up entirely of muscle. The puppy dog eyes that were a staple of Jake now held a slight smolder and his smile was perfectly lopsided. Fortunately, his long black hair still remained. As did the warmth that was always projected from behind that smile. Bella felt this warmth physically as Jake proceeded to wrap her in a hug, and sweep her off her feet (literally). Was he running an obscene temperature or had Bella finally gone insane?

"Bella!" Her feet now touched the ground but Jake hadn't let go yet. Bella was starting to sweat. "Hey Jake!" She continued to hug him back. Jake pulled away enough to look at her and take her in. Poor Jake, Bella lamented, there's really nothing to admire. It only took a few more seconds and then Jake was pulling her into another bear hug, asking where she had been these past few years. Bella tried to answer, but this was made exponentially more difficult by the fact her face was currently squashed against a well-toned pectoral. Finally realizing that his old friend was suffocating, Jake released her and stood back a few feet. Bella felt cold immediately.

"So, you were in Phoenix right? The one in Arizona?" Bella had to laugh at that one; "Yea the famous one. Mom thankfully didn't move from one bubmlefuck town to another". Now was Jake's turn to laugh "So why return to bumblefuck?"

Because I'm already a piece of shit, I don't need to be the piece of shit that also ruins the honeymoon phase of my mother's new marriage.

"You know, house was just getting a little too crowded, so I made the executive decision to vacate a room". "Your mom must miss you"

Yea I doubt she misses having to deal with the problem child of the family

"Yea I guess. Apparently my sister missed me more. She moved in with us last night"

"Oh, no way! That's awesome! You should invite her to one of the bonfires or something some time. Always got lots of friends who would like to meet new people."

Yea sure. I'll let the most nosy, intuitive person in my life spend even more time around me than she already does at home. No problems there. While we're at it, how about Lia invites Charlie to one of her weekly party excursions?

"Uh yea maybe one of these days". Thankfully, Jake seemed to feel the awkwardness in Bella's last answer, because he quickly changed the subject.

"So, what was this big surprise you said you had". Looking down at her feet, Bella managed to mumble out the words "Some motorcycles".

"Huh?" "Motorcycles" "One more time" "Motorcycles" "Ok sorry Bells, can you repeat that again?" "Motorcycles!". She hadn't meant to yell on that last one, but Jake seemed to be completely oblivious. "Motorcycles?! Like you bought one or you want advice on them?" "Like I bought two junk ones, and you were the best person I could think of to help me fix them up". "You, want to fix up and ride a motorcycle? You?" His amazed tone slightly insulted Bella. She wasn't exactly a girly girl, it wasn't that surprising that she'd want to do this.

"Yes me Jesus! It's not that insane, they aren't exactly Harley Davidson's! "Yea I know but like you don't even play sports, and you wanna ride a motorcycle?" "Yes, ok I wanna ride a motorcycle! Are you gonna help me or is YouTube becoming my best friend?" "No, no I'll help. Lets go pull them down so we can have a look in the garage. In the truck bed?" Bella nodded.

As Jake removed the bikes from the truck bed, and simultaneously gave them a cringe worthy face, Bella realized that maybe she shouldn't have been as insulted as she was. The fact she would want to ride a bike should be shocking to other people because truth-be-told, the bikes had been a surprise to her. All she had been trying to do was find a reason to avoid home after yearbook club, thus avoiding Lia in turn. Apparently her subconscious had a sick sense of humor because come lunchtime Mike Newton was whining about having to sell off some pieces of junk, she was word vomiting that she would take them, and here she was. Thank god for Jacob being so open to weird texts and hanging out with her.

"Well they are real pieces of crap, but I think in a few weeks we can get them running. Parts are gonna be worth more than the bikes though" Jake's words pulled her from her thoughts and she looked over to see a genuine, excited smile grinning back at her. Bella couldn't help but smile back, the warmth Jacob emanated being contagious. "So when can you start?" "Right now if you've got the time to stick around". Music to her ears. She had all the time; in fact she was willing to simply move into the garage. It was actually quickly becoming her goal; literally anything to avoid being home. "I can stay until you're sick of me." Jacob laughed again and flashed her his perfect smile; "That will never happen, but sure. I just have to go grab an extra tool box from my room, B.R.B". Bella took the opportunity to text her dad, and sister, about where she was. Both would be happy about this little excursion and both wouldn't question why she was spending time late into the night with a young man. Perks of being friends since Pre-K. Bella looked up from her phone just as Jake walked back in. He was carrying the toolbox but he had also changed into a grease covered shirt and jeans. What was extremely noticeable about the shirt was how tight it clung to his new muscles. Were those abs? Since when did Jake have abs? In an attempt to stop staring at her friend like a prime cut of meat, Bella began asking questions about the bikes; what each bit and piece did. Jacob was more than happy to indulge her, seemingly eager to talk for forever about mechanic stuff. They fell into a comfortable conversation, Bella forgetting to continue her miserable inner monologue for just a little.

Before either of them knew it the time was way too late and despite neither of them wanting to separate, both needed to be up for school the next day. Bella agreed to go over Jake's again tomorrow and slowly drove her lovable truck home. To her great relief Lia and Charlie were both completely passed out upon her arrival, allowing her to slip upstairs and remove the mask of happiness for just a little while. With Jake it had been less of a mask and more of a sheer covering. Just slightly less effort, just slightly less exhausting. But now that she was alone, the dark thoughts crept over and the soul-crushing exhaustion really kicked in. Bella legitimately wondered how her and her sister came from the same people. Here she was, curled up on her bed with absolutely no want nor motivation to even shower, and then there was her sister who had to apply her full face of makeup everyday or melt like the wicked witch. Biology class should use the two of them as subjects for experimentation; they were honestly scientific miracles. These thoughts of her sister were soon cut off by the sleep Bella felt she so desperately needed.

PSA: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters created by Stephanie Meyer