A/N This story will contain triggers for suicide/depression and abuse (non physical). If you or someone you know is in crisis you can call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline or 1-800-799-7233 for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Holding things in is not being strong, or brave but getting help and facing those problems and fears straight on is.

Some days in your life will stand out as the most important. They are those days where you can remember what the whether was, what time you woke up, and the exact moment it became memorable. Today, was not one of those days for Lia. The sun had been shining all week, but unfortunately Forks had decided to finally give her a signature rainy day. Putting true effort into an outfit did not seem feasible so she threw on some black leggings, her hunter boots, and a cropped grey sweatshirt making sure it had a hood so she wouldn't have to add another layer to protect her hair. Lia decided she would, however, put some effort into her appearance; she figured she shouldn't look completely ordinary for cheer tryouts. Not that she was too worried she wouldn't make it, she'd never not made her old high schools varsity team and she doubted this small town team with only one level of cheer was gonna be too difficult to get onto. But it was the principle of the thing; you have an event that someone else put effort into, you but effort into it too. Lia proceeded to run through her usual skin care and makeup, putting a wing on her liner instead of the usual basic line. Setting spray applied, she put some loose curls into her hair, packed her gear for tryouts, and dragged all her stuff downstairs. She was greeted with a spaced out Bella, whose spoonful of cereal was hanging mid-way to her mouth and whose face was scrunched in thought. Rather than scare her, Lia proceeded to throw breakfast and coffee together and went to sit across from her sister. Usually Bella was gone before her so this was a rare moment, alone together. It took Bella a solid two minutes to notice that her sister had joined her and when she did it was not exactly a happy realization.

"What're you doing up so early?" It wasn't actually that early, in fact Lia was technically running a little late. "Uh just had to make sure I had everything together for tryouts later." "Oh yea, good luck" "Thanks". Bella got up, put her almost full dish in the sink, and started getting ready to head out. "Bells, you want to ride with me today? I know you've got yearbook after school we'd probably both be done at the same time" "Uh no thanks I'm good, I'm going over Jake's after wouldn't want to have to drive back home, just to go back in that direction." As if an after thought; "Thanks though"

"Oh well I don't have like, set plans tonight I'd love to see Jake. I don't think he knows me past the age of ten" Lia breathily laughed, attempting to put a lighter mood in the air. Bella, however, did not find this suggestion funny in any sense of the word. In fact, she looked almost terrified. "Oh no you don't wanna hang out with us. Super boring, no fun. You'd honestly be better off with Netflix. Plus I doubt you want to hang out with his friends too. They are really awkward and teenage boys suck right?" While Lia had to admit that men were in fact trash sometimes, she highly doubted Bella was the type of girl to hang around with that trash. In fact, she highly doubted Charlie's best friend would raise it. "Yea they do but Jake has to be pretty nice for you to hang out with him so much, right? Come on I'll be quiet, get to know them before the party, you'll not have to deal with me for a whole week. Please?" At this point, Lia would do anything to see how her sister was doing. She seemed a little better, but anyone can act ok for a few minutes each hour. This was the longest conversation she'd had with her sister in a week, no way was she getting the full effect. The look on Bella's face did not seem convinced, but in reality Lia did not care. If Bella didn't invite her now she was gonna just be extra nosy before the party. Lia must've been sending off this vibe because her sister finally became resigned, if not slightly annoyed.

Taking a deep breath, Bella looked to her younger sister, eyebrows raised in anticipation of her answer. She hadn't seen that look in a while, genuinely excited for what her older sister had to say. It wasn't the most adoring version of that look she had ever seen; no that version only existed when they were kids, when everything Bella did wowed the younger girl. One time, all she had to do was start showing Lia how to harness their dog and you would've thought Bella had given a lecture on quantum physics. No, this look did not hold that adoration. But it did hold a slight bit of hope in it and having any version of it staring back at her broke Bella down. Maybe seeing Bella actually being friendly with someone would show her sister that she was ok; or at least could thoroughly pretend to be. At the bare minimum it would prove that the girl's older sister wasn't a complete piece of shit. It wouldn't be that horrible either; Bella knew Lia was more than capable of keeping Quil and Embry enraptured with herself; those two didn't know what was about to hit them. Maybe Lia would be such a distraction Bella could finally get Jake to take her to first beach without the other boys and she could get in a photography session with the new camera her mom had sent for Bella's birthday. She had almost forgotten it existed OOOO maybe she could even capture the sunset. Ok yea this will be perfect actually Bella convinced herself. She will distract the others, I'll get my private photo session, and then come party time they'll automatically bug her, just like every other guy who has a choice between us, and I can not deal with them, well, ever.

"Uh yea sure I'll text you his address and meet you over there whenever you're done. " "Are you sure you don't want to go together in the Jeep?"

NO! Just give me some alone time with my music.

"No its ok , we can stay up talking pretty late, I don't want you to feel stuck and I don't want to feel bad for staying when you want to go home"

"True. Very true. Ok I'll see ya later, have fun at yearbook!" "Thanks, hope you make the team" "Psh yea I will". With that both girls left, getting into their cars and starting the drive towards school, two strangers just happening to be going in the same direction.

Lia felt Marissa starting to grow on her. The cheer captain was a genuinely sweet girl, willing to help people however she could. Maybe a little too sweet actually; a little more naïve than the girls Lia normally became friends with. But she had been willing to give her time, after school on a Thursday no less, so Lia could participate in one of the few high school activities she gave a shit about. She would've done photography/yearbook club too but that was her sister's thing and she didn't want to invade every aspect of her sister's life. As she sat at lunch talking to Marissa about a possible weekend trip to Seattle, she took a moment to look over to her sister's table. It was easy to spot Bella, with her straight brown hair, and the monotone colors that composed the girl's outfit. The older Swan was not engaged with her friends, in fact you wouldn't know she'd been around these kids for over a year now. Everyone was talking to another person if not actively putting food into their mouth. The only person not in a one on one conversation was Angela, and even she was pretending to listen to whatever Jessica Stanley was rattling on about. Jessica was a nice enough person but man could she talk. Lia didn't blame Angela for secretly scrolling through Instagram while Jessica clearly expected that she was giving her undivided attention. And then there was Bella, sitting slightly pushed back from the round table, creating a space for herself. She was reading a book, whose title Lia could not see. The cover did not look quirky and fun though. Her sister's face was made of boredom if not slightly down trodden. As if with her head in the book and no one obviously paying attention to her, Bella felt she could drop some façade she'd been holding for just a slight moment. As Lia watched, Angela, clearly relieved Jessica had had to pee, turned to Bella, commenting on who knows what. Bella in turn, kept her head down for just a moment longer than most people would and from Lia's angle her down trodden expression turned slightly annoyed. But this was quickly replaced by a smile and Lia took one last look as her sister moved her face to meet Angela's, laughed at whatever she had just said, and added her own comment to the conversation, allowing Angela to go on whatever rant she had been holding back until then. Bella seemed content to let this happen and settled into her chair further, her body language saying she was completely focused on Angela, her eyes holding a far off look ,saying the opposite. Lia decided to turn back to Marissa so as not to let Bella see her little sister openly staring at her. She took a mental note to ask the older girl what the fuck was going on, later.

Tryouts were, as Lia had predicted, nothing compared to what she was used to. Marissa, the angel she was, had sent her videos the second day of school of each cheer they did so Lia could learn them beforehand. Lia had a feeling it was also a slightly selfish act, as having to teach her the cheers would've forced Marissa to stay longer after school, but never the less it was much appreciated. Between those pre-learned cheers and a few tumbling passes Lia easily made the team and knew she'd probably be assigned as a flyer by Friday afternoon. Practice was done by the time Marissa and her finished and Friday's were reserved for game days, so Lia had all weekend to do whatever before being thrown back into the state of constant chaos she usually lived in and enjoyed. Bella had actually sent her, her location from Jacob's place, a pleasant surprise for the end of the day. Hopping in her jeep, Lia checked her face, making sure her locker room fix up had actually worked. Nothing quite like nasty showers and florescent lighting to make a girl second-guess her hard earned makeup skills. Satisfied, the jeep drove off towards the reservation.

Quil's jaw was going to break off if he kept it like that much longer. And while normally Bella would've tried to snap him out of it honestly she couldn't stop giggling at him long enough to do so. Her sister's arrival had left even more of an impression than anyone could have predicted. To Bella her sister looked normal, same outfit as that morning, same hair-style, same makeup. The only difference were the ray bans now firmly sat on her face to protect from the sun that had broken free. But to Quil she clearly looked like Cindy Crawford in that Pepsi commercial. Even Jake looked slightly thrown off, as if he was expecting the little brunette ten year old he had last seen her as. Lia's walk quickly took her close enough that Bella was able to view the smile that had grown on her face. She could hear the "Surprise Bitches!" playing in her sister's head but what came out of her mouth was a sickly sweet "Hey Bells". Thrown off, all Bella could do was smile and wave. Her sister was in her charm mode. She would start off sweet and smiley, enthusiastic to meet everyone, easily navigating Quil's inevitable attempt at flirting. Her sister would be sweet for a little bit, making herself just as comfortable with the company as they were becoming with her. As she wove her way in she'd find an opportunity to be witty, making a light jab at the expense of the person who seemed most able to take it. When everyone else joined in on this, including the person who she first took a jab at, the overly sweet personality would slowly slip away leaving a genuinely nice person but one with wit and sarcastic attitude. This brought her down to earth to those around her; she wasn't just some shining beacon of perfect personality and pretty face. She was "just like them". Except she wasn't. She was prettier than them (although Jake seemed to be giving her a run for her money lately), she had better style than them, she was smarter than them, she presented herself better than they did, and, although it wasn't insanely obvious, she had more money than them. Money that was shown through basic pieces of clothing being worth more than some people's whole outfit, a hair color that involved being able to have it re-touched every six weeks, nails perfectly polished and changing color every two weeks. Makeup that was so well applied that it clearly did not come from a drug store rack. But she didn't show it in how she interacted with those around her, and that was her strength. You'd never know that Bella Swan's little sister had already moved beyond this small town life, and was simply ensuring that her short return wouldn't be absolutely miserable. By the time Bella had convinced Jake to walk down to first beach with her, Lia had worked her magic and Quil and Embry were barely aware that they were leaving.

First beach was beautiful, in a north pacific sort of way. There was a thick, green tree line leading to it, but when it broke it broke onto a gray beach, strong waves in different shades of blue hitting its shores. There were branches and logs tracing this tree line, allowing visitors places to sit themselves and enjoy the view. Nature's way of saying "mi casa e su casa". From first beach Bella could see James Island, perfectly outlined in the red/yellow ombre of the sunset. She immediately tuned her camera to the perfect settings and began snapping pictures, chatting idly with Jake as she did so. There were one or two people sitting to watch the sunset but with the rain earlier that day and the sand and logs still being wet, they practically had the whole Beach to themselves. A calm washed over Bella, one she allowed herself to savor. No dark voice popped into her head and she didn't go searching for it. As she scanned the horizon for more shots, Bella noted the smaller islands right off James Island's edges. The miniature islands had been there her entire life, but for some reason Bella felt possessed to ask Jake about them in the moment.

"They aren't sacred like the main island, too small for us to really do anything with. Mostly dumb tourists and idiot kids from the res go cliff diving off them. But other wise eh". "People jump from there?!" "Yea, I guess if you throw yourself right you miss the rocks below but you have to really get some air. Sam Uley and his gang have it down to a science, from what I've seen". He said the last part with such disdain that Bella had to press him on it. "Who's Sam Uley?" Jakes face scrunched in anger, but his eyes seemed almost sad, like the thought of this person physically hurt him. "He's some older guy, lives out in the woods. Kids from school hang around him like he's some god. I swear they do whatever he says, no questions asked." "That's super creepy. Don't the adults find it creepy? How is he still allowed near children?!" "The adults love him! It's insane, my dad said he was 'protecting people.' And 'you'll get it one day jut focus on your own stuff'. The old mans' lost it! Plus the kids that hang around him are all at least seventeen so there's not much the adults could do even if they gave a shit". Jacob was becoming more and more visibly angry. Back up! A voice in her head said. It wasn't the usual dark one, this one was more filled with concern and she did as it told. "Stay away from him Jake. Like I'm sorry but fuck your dad. That sounds insanely sketchy don't go near him"

"Yea I do stay away but he like follows me! You remember the other day when I was arguing with those two guys? That was Sam and his bff Paul. Fucking creepers, always trying to recruit anyone over 5'11" into their 'group'!" Now trembling. Step back! As far as you can get without him noticing! The voice was now distinctly male; Bella inched her way further back. "Well, if you ever need to go into hiding I'm sure Lia would not argue having a tall, dark, handsome, and muscular kid her age stay in her room. Hell, she'd probably roll out the red carpet" Bella added a laugh at the end of the sentence. Good, add levity, it will distract him. Who used the word levity?

Jake instantly calmed down at the joke, laughing along slightly himself. "Yea I'll be sure to remember that for when I need to go into witness protection". They both laughed at that and Bella stepped closer, no voice arguing against this. The sun had slowly been making its way down the skyline and if they didn't start walking back now they'd be using a flashlight to guide themselves through the forest. Bella's ankles did not appreciate the thought as they knew how clumsy she was in day light. Just the prospect of her having to navigate the forest in the nighttime made them throb, and Bella told Jake it was time to go. Bella turned around quickly, right before hitting the trees, snapping a last pic of the cliffs off of the Island.

As the two approached Jake's house Bella could make out figures sitting in Lia's jeep, music blasting from the car, although what the song was Bella had no idea. Upon seeing the figure in the front passenger seat, Jake immediately lost his shit, running towards the car, anger streaming off of him. A shocked Bella, ran after him not sure of what was about to happen. The passenger door to her sister's car flew open. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" Oh, Jake was more than angry, he was fuming. Bella reached the jeep, recognizing the two in the back as Quil and Embry and the one sitting next to Lia as, what was it, Paul? "Your dad said I could borrow some tools, and told me where to get them. Chill!" "Ok so you have your tools so the fuck are you doing HERE?!" Was Jake mad because he was in Lia's car? Lia had had older guys in her car before and was always better than fine. If Jake was about to die on that hill, his death would be in vain. Although, Bella didn't appreciate her little sister hanging around an older guy that hung around with a possible steroid using pedophile? "Quil and Embry invited me to hang out for a bit. Thought we'd catch up" "Bullshit!" "I asked him to stay, jeez Jake!" And there was Lia's famous attitude. "Why the fuck would you do that?!" "Why the fuck shouldn't I?!" Oh Jake, buddy, thought Bella. I know he's messed up but trust me yelling at Lia does not end well. Sure enough "Cause he's a piece of shit. He's a druggy Emmy, and he hangs around with the biggest creeps in La Push! And this is my house!" "Ok FIRST OF ALL" Lia had now exited the vehicle and her 5'3" frame was squaring up with Jake's 6'1" one; everyone looked much more fearful for Jake's safety than hers. "I am not ten anymore so you DON'T call me EMMY!" Run Jake just fucking run. "Second of all, this is ACTUALLY MY JEEP, so I don't need YOUR permission to have him hang out in it!" Seriously dude there's still time! Bella's inner monologue was clearly not reaching Jake because he just moved closer attempting to use his size to intimidate Lia. It didn't work. "And lastly, how in the FUCK am I supposed to know that if NO ONE FUCKING MENTIONS IT UNTIL NOW!" Lia stared Jake down, a look in her eye that dared him to argue. The thing about Lia was that she not only held her own in an argument, but a lot of the times she made decent points. How could Jake be that mad at her about inviting a guy he hated to hang out, if Lia didn't know he hated the kid? For all she knew, without Embry and Quil arguing, this guy was just another one of their friends and Jake would be happy to see him there. By the way the kid had acted when Jake was yelling at him, Quil and Embry hadn't voiced any dissent when Lia asked him to stay a little longer. "It's MY HOUSE EMMY" Oh Jake WHY?! "You don't invite people to hang around other people's houses!" "He was chill, I thought he was your friend, I invited him to stay. The fuck is the big deal right now?! If anything be pissed at Quil or Embry, they didn't say shit!" "This isn't about them right now, it's about you being rude!" Jake was now shaking, and Bella could swear she saw ripples move under his skin. That strange voice was back in her head telling her to back up, but she pushed it down, genuinely concerned for her sister's well-being. She'd never in her life seen Jake this pissed off. Not that he was going to hit Lia but not all blows had to be physical. Suddenly the kid in the passenger seat spoke, grabbing Lia's arm and gently moving her away from Jacob. "Ok, I'm going. Jake's right it's his house, his rules. I'm out." As he spoke, the person that Bella now viewed clearly as not a kid, moved from the passenger seat, subtly positioning himself in front Lia and between her and Jacob. Bella noticed her sisters face fall at his words. She was disappointed? "I'll see you at the party tomorrow?" Lia's face perked right back up at this. "Yea don't forget pre-game starts at ten" Ok now this man was coming to the party with the kids that hated him? Bella sighed. There went using Lia as a distraction. As long as she was anywhere near this man, the other boys were staying as far away as possible. "I'll text ya in the morning, just remind me. Didn't give me a fake number right?" "Nah that one went to Quil" Lia laughed. Quil looked slightly taken aback by this but remained silent. "Awesome, see you tomorrow beautiful" She blushed at this one. "See ya tomorrow". "Night guys" "Night man, have a safe drive home". Well, Embry at least clearly did not hate this man as much as Jake. He moved to leave, taking one last moment to have a quick stare down with Jake, before walking towards a pitch black truck parked next to Bella's rust one.

"I think its time we were leaving too guys" Bella stared pointedly at Quil and Embry, making it clear that their time in the jeep was over. Reluctantly, the two boys hopped out the back and walk around to where Lia was standing. Jake had walked away a bit, choosing to stand next the Bella. "We'll see you tomorrow right?" "Of course, same goes to you guys, don't forget the pre-games at ten. Be there or be sober" Lia giggled and gave both the boys hugs. Bella hugged Jake to say goodbye "I'll see you tomorrow too, right?" "Unfortunately". This got a laugh out of Jake, which shook Bella a bit and made her feel better about the whole night. They pulled away and Jake and the boys walked off towards the house, waving at Bella and Lia before disappearing inside. Before her sister could get into the drivers seat, Bella stopped her. "So, who was that" "His names Paul. I'll tell you later". Lia had a wide grin on her face, and seemed absolutely giddy about the prospect of talking about this new guy. Bella simply shook her head, smiling slightly at her little sister. "Ok, whatever you say". Lia may piss her off some days but it was still her little sister. Seeing her happy wasn't the worst thing in the world. Bella made her way to her drivers seat, checking in her mirrors that Lia was ready to follow her before driving off towards home.

P.S. I own nothing of Stephanie Meyer's creation. It's her world, I'm just partially living in it.