Invader Sideos crawls thought your TV and across your floor in a creepy fashion to tell you: Woo! It's almost Halloween! My favourite holiday! I hope they show Corpse Bride or some other Tim Burton creation on TV; they always do round about Halloween.
I read somewhere recently that in my wonderful little island home they're thinking of making private cubical especially for heroin addicts. The idea is that addicts who are trying to get help can shoot up in privacy and get some dignity back.
Yes, its ok, the world is going mad. Well, at least England is...
Anyway. Prepare for all the sickness and disturbance that was meant to be in the last chapter. This will be the longest and possibly most comedic 'trip' chapter to date.
I've been planning this for so long, so many gags all lined up. Oh yes, what gags there will be.
Written to, a lot of MC5 songs, System of a Down (especially Spiders) and Velvet Revolver. Oh and of course, Iggy and the Stooges (for Iggy is my lord.) And just for that 'trippy' sense, I'm adding Iggy Pop's best friend and music partner-in-crime, David Bowie.
"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man" - Dr Johnson.
I don't own Zim. It really is that simple.
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A cold draft blew though the room as Vega came in. Shawn had been the closest to the door and so he had been the one to open it. The fat Mexican came in shivering and removing his faded brown coat. That was of course before he had placed his briefcase behind the kitchen counter. The junkies all lined up, any talk or activity was halted in favour of the drug.
Zim's mind went numb; his body went into auto motion. It didn't need Zim to tell it what to do now. He lined up just in front of Lilith, who was last in the queue. He tightly hugged himself and clenched his jaw shut. He wanted to rip though these humans and smash open that case. He grabbed his thin arms as tightly as he could; the drug lust inside him at full volume. He knew the others were probably doing the same.
He gave a snort, probably? Of course they were. He could see Shawn actually shaking in front of him, and Iggy's hands were clenched so tightly Zim could see small flecks of blood on the human's nails.
Zim closed his eyes as he heard the briefcase open. He didn't want to see Vega reach in with that uncaring grin of his. He didn't want to see him bring out a vial and show off the liquid that would bring Zim ultimate satisfaction.
However, when there was no click of the lock Zim opened his eyes in interest. Vega looked at the four junkies and gave a cocky grin. "Well, since this is Christmas, I've brought you guys a special treat." He tapped the briefcase casually, immediately drawing all eyes towards it. "In here I've got all your usuals. But, I've also got this..." And he opened his case to bring out a corked test tube with a misty white liquid inside.
He grinned as he saw the dull hunger of addiction enter his audiences' eyes.
"What is it?" Iggy said quickly and numbly. He was staring at the vial with an unblinking zombie-like fascination.
Vega grinned like a giddy child and looked from Iggy, to the vial, and back again. "This is a new batch of A. The contact who sold it to me said it was the best batch made yet."
Lilith, in the same manner and speed of Iggy, asked, "How much?"
Vega smiled and shook his head slowly for a moment. "Ahh Lilith, why do you always think about money?"
She managed a twitch of a smile. "Because it's always about money with you."
There were a few stifled laughs from the junkies and Vega narrowed his eyes at the girl. "The cost is five hundred dollars."
There was a collective groan from the crowd of four. Iggy glared at the fat Mexican. "What's with the upped price, man?"
Vega's mood dropped again and he leaned forward onto the counter with his fists, "Hey, this is top quality spike. If you want any less you can go to some other dealer, but don't expect Jay or Silent Bob to have this sorta shit on their hands. Now," he stood back up and crossed his arms. "Its first-come-first-serve."
There was an immediate shuffling for money as each addict tried to see of they could afford the heightened price. As Zim also gathered his cash his mouth turned slightly at the corner, thank flirk for inflation. The price of A had dropped from being five hundred to one hundred in only two weeks, the human police force must be more idiotic then his tests had proven.
Zim brought out a fist full of cash from his PAK and drew some envious glares from Shawn and Iggy. He turned his head and saw, rather unsurprisingly, that Lilith also had enough. Iggy mumbled something about rich kids and Shawn looked rather depressed that he also didn't have enough.
They quickly paid for the normal batch and hurried to their corners, each with a vial and a needle clutched in their hands. Zim tried not to look; he forced himself to concentrate on his turn. When he placed down five hundred he grinned wickedly at the look on Vega's face.
The Mexican looked at the Irken with almost pure hate in his eyes. "I'm not giving you this. This is for normal people, not for green freaks like you."
Zim picked up the money and waved it under the human's nose, clearly making him even angrier. "Well, if you don't give it to Zim you'll be five hundred earth moneys poorer. And we couldn't have that, could we?"
Vega leaned close to Zim as he snatched the wad of cash from Zim's claws. "I hate you."
"I hate you to, human."
Vega slammed the vial and needle on the kitchen counter, and if it weren't for the needle being plastic it probably would have smashed. Zim took it quickly and shot back to his mattress. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Lilith also take a needle and vial. She was soon sitting beside Zim as he rolled up the sleeve of his shirt.
As he loaded his needle with the drug he turned to look at the girl beside him. She had taken of her hoody and she too was loading her needle with spike.
She saw Zim looking at her and cast him a strange smile, as if she didn't mean to smile but did anyway.
Without thinking Zim softly said "Sweat dreams, Lilith."
She looked to her needle, giving it a flick as she primed it for injection. "Yeah, you too, Zim."
Zim looked back at his needle and watched as a single precious drop sailed down the tip. He raised it to his arm and winced as he punctured his bruised skin. His green blood burst into the white mist, swirling and mixing in a slow delicate fashion. Then Zim clenched his teeth as he pushed the plunger down, forcing the drug into his body. The moment he had finished this he quickly took the needle out. He went to throw it but his arm slowed to a stop half-way though the act.
His face softened, his eyes closed slowly and his breathing slowed. His arm was shaking and he dropped the needle onto the mattress. Slowly he raised his hands to the side of his head and his claws flattened his antenna down. A huge smile grew on his face and he started laughing.
Somewhere in the distance there was an echoing slam of something shutting but Zim didn't care.
This was bliss. It was like a massive weight had been lifted from his body, he couldn't feel anything. He felt like at any moment he would simply fly away in a breeze. All the inside screaming had stopped. All the pain of being on this world just fell away. All the guilt over ditching Dib, all the conflicting feelings for Lilith, every problem or worry was now obsolete.
He laughed more and felt himself falling back onto the wall. It was worth it. All the daytime suffering, the nausea, the shivers and shakes, even the horrifying hallucinations, it was all worth putting up with for this. It was such a beautiful feeling, such an explosion of pleasure that Zim decided that he would kill anyone or anything for this. Dib, the Tallest, anyone. He would gladly betray his Empire for this feeling, this glorious experience.
He opened his eyes. The world around him had become swirling in a mass of vibrant colours and illogical patterns. He stood up and looked around, amazed at the way the world seemed to respond to his every movement. He stretched out an arm, feeling no ache in the action, and held his hand out to the tempest of colour and movement in front of him. He pushed his arm forward and the wall of patterns seemed to buckle, like they had been hit with something powerful. Zim laughed at the power he could feel seething through his veins.
There was a laugh from behind him and Zim turned around carelessly, still grinning at his power over the world. However, his smile flickered when he saw who it was.
Her all blue eyes blinked innocently and her bunny ears twitched. Her head tilted at Zim's confused expression and she slowly danced over to him. He was amazed to see she left strange trails, like visual echos, of where she had just been. She was dressed just like Lilith, and a tiny part of Zim's mind sent out a warning that she probably was. But it was silenced when the bunny girl took his chin in one hand and kissed him quickly on the lips.
Zim staggered back, somewhat shocked and dazed by this action. He could still feel the kiss on him, a tingling sensation that was reaching across his whole body rapidly. He smiled as he quickly gave into the sensation, and suddenly he wanted more.
The bunny girl giggled and walked back a few paces, the places she stepped lighting up in bright white footsteps and her actions still leaving strange trails.
Zim went to walk, but a huge mass of strange, snake-like metallic tendrils rushed around him. He screamed and tried to flail his arms, but they were too tight. They where closing in, crushing him. Soon he couldn't move. He tried to scream, but the tendrils wrapped around his mouth. They where suffocating him, choking him, crushing his organs. He could feel the creeping of death up his spine, crawling across his neck and then slowly up to his brain.
He screamed as loud as he could, and suddenly opened his eyes. There were no steal tentacles, only the room and the green numbers falling across every surface. Nothing wrong there.
He turned slowly and noticed the door was glowing. He staggered slightly, his vision off because of all the movement of numbers around him and he was finding it a bit hard to balance.
Slowly he began walking towards the glowing door. As he stretched out a hand to open it, it creaked open an inch or two on its own.
As Zim slowly approached the door he could hear something. Laugher, a naisly shouting and a human shouting back.
Zim cautiously pushed the door open and his eyes widened at the sight.
There he was.
"Great ghost of dookie, there I am!" Zim watched himself shout some random insult at Dib. It was when he was smaller, healthier; it must have been when he had just arrived on this dirt hole of a planet. Dib was younger too. His head looked much bigger back then.
Zim walked forward, an arm stretched out to touch the smaller Zim, but instead he was stopped by a huge pane of glass that separated himself from his smaller self. He watched stoically as Gir did something totally idiotic and he heard a mass of laugher beside him. He turned and was shocked to see thousands; maybe tens of thousands of humans watching the scene unfold.
He turned back to his smaller self and watched more as he and the Dib fought, bickered and generally caused each other masses of pain. Zim's eyes narrowed as he noticed a team of older humans sitting at the very far side of the glass. They were sitting in the shadows, watching both the warring human and alien and its huge crowd with amused expressions.
Zim noticed that the team of older humans all seemed to be whispering and talking mostly to a very thin one with tanned skin and red hair. Zim suddenly felt that he knew this person, but for the life of him he couldn't think why.
There was a feminine giggle behind him and he turned slowly to see the bunny girl again.
She danced back a few paces when Zim went to grab her and she sang "Don't you want somebody to love? Don't you need somebody to love? Feed your head, Zim."
She suddenly spun round on the spot, causing her body to glow brightly, so brightly it caused Zim to shield his eyes. When he reopened them he was greeted by a very different setting.
He was standing in the Massive. Around him where a small bunch of advisers and the tall elite of the Irken high command. He looked around, caught sight of his reflection in a computer screen and gasped. He was wearing the formal robes of a Tallest. His was a dull pink and black colour and he even floated just above the ground. When he turned back the advisers smiled at him and one pointed to a long corridor.
Zim wordlessly floated down it. As he did so he observed the walls of the massive move in and out slightly, like the ship was breathing. Zim saw the end of the corridor, it was bright white and impossible to see past from a distance. However, as he came closer to the light he heard a loud cheering, the sound of thousands of voices shouting as one.
The light faded and he saw that the corridor ended in a balcony. As he floated out onto the balcony the shouting and cheering grew to almost deafening levels. Zim floated to the edge of the balcony rail and looked down. Below him were millions, possibly tens of millions of Irkens and they were all cheering his name.
Zim grinned widely as he had a rush of power of pleasure. He raised a hand to shoulder so his palm faced upwards in salute to the Irkens below and was greeted with the mass wiggling of antenna. Zim grinned again as a chant started up, growing louder every time.
"Hail Tallest Zim! Hail Tallest Zim! Hail Tallest Zim!"
Zim raised his arms up and tilted his head back, simply basking in the glory of his Empire. Unlimited power was his; he could do anything he wanted now. He owned the universe and anyone or anything that said otherwise would be wiped from existence, as would their families and anyone who said they had ever existed in the first place.
Zim looked down at the still manically cheering Irkens, his arms still held aloft. "I am a god. I own everything."
"You don't own me." Zim spun around and grinned wolfishly as he laid eyes on the bunny girl. She was standing with her hands behind her back at the entrance to the corridor, which again was a white wall of light. The glow illuminated the Irken, making her dark eyes stand out more and highlighting her thin, skinny figure.
Zim turned fully to face her, raising himself to his full height, which was helped slightly due to the fact he was floating, "If I do not own you, then I will conquer you and make you mine."
The bunny girl grinned slyly and slowly backed into the light. Zim watched as it swallowed her. "Then come and conquer me, o' glorious conqueror."
Zim floated to the ground and began to walk slowly, confidently, towards the light. He let it embrace him and when he re-amerced he was still walking, except now he was in the Massive's corridors leading to the royal Tallest chambers.
As he walked towards the far end of the corridor he looked to his left. Along the walls the images moved, a rat with a beret was having a shootout with a weird looking human. He look to his right and watched casually as a great bleeding knife sliced a large 'Z?' sign apart.
He laughed, what would his superior Irken scientists think up next?
He approached the door to his chambers and admired the technological engineering. The golden door showed images that, on glance, appeared to have been engraved directly into it. However, the images moved slowly, gracefully, telling a story. It showed a tall Irken standing over a planet, crushing its inhabitants within his fist. Zim smiled cruelly as he observed the humanoids silently screaming and withering in pain.
He pushed open the door and was greeted by a brilliantly bright, shining, clean room of unimaginable wealth. Gold patterns moved, snake-like across the marble walls. As Zim stepped into the room a gold tile appeared at his foot, holding him above the limitless white that dropped below him. When he took his foot of the tile, the gold faded leaving nothing to show it was ever there.
He walked though the room to the huge windows. When he looked out of them he saw his Empire stretching out before him. A sea of ships, troops and weapons at his every whim. A click of a finger and the universe would burn.
There was a noise at his far side and he turned. A door was open slightly. It looked sliver and it too was glowing brightly. Zim walked towards it and pushed it open.
He smiled as he saw who was in the room. The room itself was lavish beyond royalty. The tattered standards of conquered races were decorating the walls, which seemed to be white but with large, mist like patches of green moving around within them. However, it was not the walls he was interested in.
It was the bunny girl staring hungrily at him from the main four poster bed in the middle of the room. He took a step into the room, his hand resting on the door.
"If this is a crime, then call me a criminal." And he slammed the door.
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SO! Now that I've officially lost and disappointed half my audience, I'm preparing to loose and disappoint the other half.
Next chapter to be emo and angst filled to fo shizzle yo. But yea, it's the beginning of the end I'm afraid...for Zim's addiction anyway!
SO MANY gags and tributes in this chapter, lets see who can get them all. Some are obvious, some are not.
Anyone who does get them all gets a...something. A surprise!
I just got a version of 'What a Wonderful World' as sung by Joey Ramone. He's a god ya know...
Since none of you are going to enjoy this chapter I urge you to flame me! Flame away oh mighty flaming public!