A/N: THESE TWO ARE FINALLY DIVORCED THANK GOD. What a weird sentence to type out lmao
Anyway, sorry this took a million years. Both the divorce and the update. I've been super bummed and unmotivated the past month. Hopefully the next update won't take as long! Anyway, hope you enjoy!
The month of the divorce Sebastian came over to the Hummel household a total of six times.
The first time was to babysit Talulah. Kurt called last minute, begging Sebastian to come over. His plans were to take her to Rachel and Jesse's apartment, but they both simultaneously forgot that they had a doctor's appointment scheduled for the time Kurt was going to need their help. He really didn't have any other friends in the city that he trusted enough and it was too late to hire a babysitter. Blaine was out because, well, the whole reason he can't stay at home with her is because he's going to a meeting with him and their respective lawyers to discuss splitting assets.
So, he settled on Sebastian.
He was worried about it, to be quite honest. The last time he left Sebastian alone with Talulah, she was huffing a perfume sample. But luckily he brought Andrew with him and by the time he got home his apartment wasn't in utter disarray. Andrew was sat on the couch with his curly-headed baby on his lap, watching a movie and Sebastian was doing the dishes and Kurt feels very lucky.
The second time, Kurt was having a bit of a panic attack. Talulah had been having fit after fit all day and Kurt couldn't do anything to make it stop. The thought crossed his mind that he is not a good father and he can't do this by himself, never could, and he broke down.
After the Mario Party night, he had allowed himself to cry when he felt like it. Of course, not in public or anything. But more often than not he'll get a pang of emotion in his chest seeing something like a dog that happened to be the breed they were wanting to get that one year Blaine really wanted one because he's stupidly sentimental, and he'd come home and let it all out. It felt healthy and cleansing to do it most of the time, but he was not crying this time. His palms were itchy and his breathing was shallow and his brain whirred at a million miles a second but also moves as slow as molasses.
He called Sebastian and he was (miraculously) over in twenty minutes and knew exactly what to say and do. He'd only known Sebastian for a few months and somehow the other man knows that he likes to feel nails against his skin and a playful attitude when being reminded to breathe because Kurt always just forgets to. He's too busy doing other things, thinking and factoring everything in that he just holds his breath and gets lightheaded.
He was not quite sure if Sebastian knew these things because he has told him over text or if it's just plain instinct. He wonders what the latter meant.
Sebastian convinced him to take a nap and when he woke up he was greeted by the sight of his three year old and the almost thirty year old in an all out lightsaber battle in his living room and he doesn't even care that they broke one of his lamps.
The third time Sebastian came he was drunk out of his mind at three in the morning and was frustrated that the keys to his apartment in Bushwick didn't work on Kurt's door. That time wasn't nearly as pleasant as any of the others but he did tell him that he knew the name of the place he got that cheesecake from and it gives Kurt something to look forward to.
The fourth time Sebastian brings presents. Andrew had dragged him out to a farmer's market with him and there were so many things that reminded him of Kurt and Talulah. He presented Talulah with a little doll with strings of yarn for hair and Kurt realized that Sebastian had been calling her her "Tula" and Kurt sorely hoped it's a "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" reference because that would mean Sebastian has both seen that movie and enjoyed it. Or after all this time he still can't remember her name. Either way it is incredibly amusing.
He gave Kurt some herbal teas and a candle and when Kurt asks what Sebastian's deal with things that smell is so much he had said that if he told him, he'd have to kill him. Then they made dinner with the fresh produce he had bought and Kurt lights the candle (affectionately named the 'Bastian candle by Talulah) every night after that.
The fifth time is a movie night with the St. Berrys. Sebastian and Jesse got on like a house on fire and Jesse, slightly intoxicated, kept repeating "I like this one" and for some reason it made Kurt's cheeks burn.
He doesn't remember much else from that night.
The sixth and final time was on divorce day. The world had decided that it would be hilarious for it to rain enough for a flash flood warning and they almost have to cancel that oh-so historic signing of the papers. Burt has come to stay for a few days and Kurt cannot be grateful enough. Sebastian had been good at calming his nerves thus far, always a quick text away, but there is nothing more soothing than a hug from Papa Hummel.
Sebastian came early in the day, drenched in water after leaving his umbrella on the subway and carrying flowers that had been protected under Sebastian's shirt during the walk from the subway station to Kurt's apartment in Chelsea. Kurt ran off to find a vase and from the kitchen he heard the awkward interaction between Sebastian and his father, who was sat watching Talulah play in the living room.
Burt, fortunately, didn't remember him from their days back in high school and he knows that Sebastian wasn't about to remind him about the Great Rock Salt Slushie Incident Of 2012. He's grown up now and liked to distance himself from those days as much as he could. Plus, he had spent enough time convincing others that he's not that guy anymore (Nick and Jeff of ye old Dalton days had come into the city a few weeks ago and Sebastian took them out to dinner, only to have the entirety of the meal spent with the two freaking out about how much he changed) and he didn't need to do that in front of a perfect stranger, too.
Kurt put the flowers (daises, funnily enough. He wondered if Sebastian got them on purpose) on the coffee table and noticed that Sebastian had moved to look at the wall of photos. He always seemed to gravitate towards them whenever he was over. When asked about it one time, Sebastian had just shrugged, explaining how he liked looking at pictures of people and coming up with backstories for them.
He had pointed to a picture of he and Blaine from their honeymoon in Hawaii and introduced him to the criminal masterminds, Blake and Julio who were celebrating their latest heist on the gorgeous beaches of Honolulu and had a decidedly not-gay time.
Several pictures on the wall now had different characters and backstories than the actual ones. They really got a kick out of it. And it was better than reminiscing.
"Did I ever tell you that we had two weddings?" Kurt asked when he saw Sebastian looking at a candid picture of them dancing at their first wedding. Sebastian raised an eyebrow, silently asking for an explanation. "Our first wedding was spontaneous and not really ours. Brittany and Santana, you remember them, were getting married and somehow we got roped into having a double wedding then and there. And that man right there," He pointed to Burt, giving him a playful glare. "Officiated it."
"I'm never going to live that down, am I?" Burt asked, a sad smile on his face.
"No. Never. No amount of apologies in the world will make up for putting me through that."
"Hey, I paid for the second one, didn't I?" Kurt chuckled softly.
"You did," He turned back to the wall, motioning to another picture of them, wearing different suits, posed and kissing. "We had the real one, the one that I actually planned and wanted," He shot Burt a playful glare at that. "Two years later. We were actually legally married at that point, got the marriage certificate right after the first one, so it was kind of pointless, but I was not going to have a wedding that wasn't the one that I had imagined in my head since I was a kid, you know?"
Sebastian nodded along, remaining silent. He looked sort of sad. It was the first time he had seen that look on his face. The only time he really saw emotion on his face when he talked about Blaine was that one time he got angry. He had never been one of those people who looked at him with pity or pouty lips.
He supposed today was about as good a day as any to start.
"We made it a good, what? Eight years? That's more than most people these days." Kurt said, shrugging a shoulder and looking back at the wall. He felt Sebastian's eyes on him, but he ignored them, taking in the pictures still up of a life that was about to be a distant memory. A life with Blaine. A life where he was a happily married man and had a family that was fully in tact.
He tried to remember the good times. He saw himself smiling in these photos (some fake and forced) and tried to remember that feeling of being so happy he could burst. Or feeling a little better than he did now. He was an actor, surely he could conjure up those feelings, feel them now, remember what it was like to not be so broken up inside. But, try as he might, he couldn't.
He felt absolutely helpless in that moment, staring at over a dozen images of himself that seemed to mock him now.
Not half a second later was there a blur of motion by his side, moving towards the sad, sad Museum of Kurt and Blaine and taking a frame off the wall.
"What are you doing?!" Kurt asked, turning to see Sebastian now walking the frame over to the dining room table, opening the back.
"You printed out more pictures to put up here, right?" Sebastian asked, not looking at him as he went now to take another frame off the wall.
"Yeah…"
"Go get them." He said. It sounded like a demand and was coupled by green eyes that had fire behind them. Kurt nodded dumbly and moved to his room, passing by a confused looking Burt. He grabbed the pictures he had gone and got printed but hadn't gotten around to putting up (mostly because every configuration of them was probably going to be wrong and he needed a second opinion) and headed back into the living room.
Several frames were all over the dining room table now, their backs open, but most of their pictures remaining. Sebastian was giving him a choice of what memories he wanted to keep.
Kurt sat down, watching him remove the frames. A part of his brain, the visual part, panicked because they'd have to either figure out a new order for all of them or remember the old one. But another part of him felt… relieved. The visual part of his brain liked the lack of clutter on the wall, but the romantic part that loved imagery and a good emotional attachment saw everything coming down around him. The last couple of months of watching his world fall down around his ears and trying his best to not let it ruin his life, soften the blow, were represented as his friend took down each individual frame. And the world, he realized, was still spinning.
And in that world, Kurt Hummel felt okay.
Maybe it was because he had already been emotionally shredded up these past couple of months and there was nothing else to feel… or maybe, just maybe. He was okay.
He was capable of feeling so much happiness in his life. He could feel it again. Hell, he would.
Sebastian turned to him, framed oddly beautifully by all of the nails sticking out of the wall, holding the frame in front of his chest that held the picture that was just off in every way, a smirk on his face as he held it out to him.
Kurt took it, opened the back and took the picture out. He set the frame down and as a slow smile spread over his face, he ripped the picture in half. Then ripped those pieces in half, again and again until it was confetti on the floor. He looked down at the carnage for a few moments, then back up at Sebastian slowly, matching the stupid, shit-eating grin on the other's face.
Fuck you, Blaine. They thought. Kurt Hummel is here to stay.
It wasn't long after that that Kurt had to head out. Sebastian offered to come with him for moral support as he hugged him goodbye, but they both knew this was something he had to do on his own. Burt almost didn't let him go.
Kurt entered the office of Pierce, Bradley and Olison dressed to the nines. Not only was it just Kurt's own personal form of armor, but he hoped it would be the punch in the gut that Blaine deserved. Kurt looked damn good and Blaine couldn't have any of him.
The meeting didn't last very long at all. They sat at a table, sitting opposite each other, staring each other in the face. Kurt felt like he was looking at a stranger, the string that used to be holding them together not even holding on by a thread now. It was completely snapped and sitting on the table between them with the papers.
He signed his name with the flick of a wrist, watched Blaine write his and the a thud in his chest reminded him that in that moment, as soon as pen left paper, Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson were officially divorced. Kurt was a single man. A single father.
Instead of feeling like a nail in the coffin of his life, overwhelming and suffocating, it felt like a thousand pounds of weight had been lifted off of him. He practically floated out of the office and into the bustling newly-sunshiney and only slightly damp streets of New York, the city that stops for no one.
When Kurt got home, Talulah was the first to run to him. He immediately scooped her up into his arms, and burying his nose in her dark curls. He closed his eyes and held her tight as she threw her tiny arms around his neck and her legs around his torso. After a few moments he opened his eyes, the sight of his father and Sebastian in front of him and the smell of his baby's shampoo filling him with love.
It hadn't taken long for Kurt to strip from his "fuck you, I look hot and I can get any man I want now" attire and get into his comfy clothes. When he got back food from his favorite Chinese place was being put onto plates for everyone (which one of those two knew about this preference of his? Was it just coincidence or was his three year old more observant than he thought?) and they spent time just talking about nothing. It was glorious.
After that they went through the pictures Kurt had printed, reliving memories. None of these put a bad taste in his mouth and it was just so nice to know he had other things in life that weren't connected to Blaine. The biggest thing that connected him to his ex-husband, Talulah, came running out of her room after a while, a piece of manilla paper in hand.
"What's this?" Kurt had asked, taking it from her.
"'Bastian tol' me I should draw a picture to make you feel better!" Sebastian smiled shyly at that, shrugging. Kurt smiled back, observing the picture. To the untrained eye, it looked like a bunch of squiggles. Maybe baked potatoes with faces. But to Kurt Hummel, an avid fan and collector of Talulah Hummel-Anderson's artwork, it was a picture of him and her holding hands in front of a rainbow, with stickers of baby farm animals scattered throughout and a dash of glitter in some… artistic places.
Kurt, teary eyed, put it in the frame in the middle of the entire wall, which now held significantly less pictures, but happier memories all together. The day Talulah was born, his first ever trip to New York City with the New Directions, Kurt scream singing with Rachel and Jesse at their wedding, a candid picture of Kurt and Talulah surprising Burt in Ohio for his birthday last year, a picture of he and Finn at graduation, a cast and crew photo from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Kurt accepting a Teacher of the Year award from Carmen Tibideaux, and plenty of snapshots from an ever-growing Talulah.
Later in the evening, Burt and Talulah had went to bed, leaving Kurt and Sebastian on their favorite hangout spot: the couch. The silence between them was comfortable as they faced each other, hitting their feet against each other in an all out battle for leg space dominance while their glasses of wine got warm in their hands.
Kurt eventually won, making Sebastian bring his knees to his chest while Kurt spread his legs out between them, a small smile resting on his lips.
"I'm proud of you."
"Me too! I haven't skipped out on leg day once this week. It shows, no?" Kurt smirked, kicking one of his legs up in the air and flexing his foot, showing off his slightly toned calves.
"Not what I meant." Sebastian said, a warm chuckle escaping his lips. Kurt lowered his leg, the smile unwavering on his own face.
"I know."
He really did. And he appreciated it more than Sebastian would ever know.