A/N: I'm sorry to confuse so many people with the first couple of chapters! They were originally a prologue, but they ended up so long that I split it into two chapters. Let me give you a better summary of my story:
The time period (after this chapter) will be from the end of Harry's fourth year through his sixth year. I'm planning to cover the actions that Sirius and Remus take with the formation of the Order of the Phoenix. The central romance will be Remus/Tonks once I get going – but, for all my Sirius/Olivia fans, they're going to be big, too.
Thanks for your patience as I get this off the ground – your support means the world to me!
Patsfan1254: Yes, I plan to keep this as true to the books as possible!
candi tonks: This is most definitely going to be Remus/Tonks. Just have a little patience with me while we get there . . . we've only just begun!
Evangelion999: We're going to see snippets of time until Sirius shows up at Remus's house on Dumbledore's orders to regroup the "old crowd." Then we'll stay on pace with what happened through books 5 and 6.
Mirrorbay2000: I seriously considered doing the third book from Remus's POV – in fact, I started an outline for it. But, I got worried about how much I'd have to rely on direct quotes from the text, and decided to just write a couple of key scenes into this story instead.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!
I don't own Harry Potter.
The Truth Makes Free
20 June 1994Pain. Regret.
The two things he had not felt in months following a full moon filled his being as he struggled to open his eyes. The small movement was almost too much, but he forced his eyes open, squinting against the bright light that flooded through the windows of . . . where was he?
He opened his eyes fully, looking around in confusion. He turned his head to the right, and the form of Albus Dumbledore came into focus.
"Good afternoon, Remus," the older man smiled. "Welcome back."
"Professor," Remus muttered. "Where am . . .?" The question died on his lips, and he sat straight up in bed. "Where are they? Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Sirius? Are they all right? And Peter? Has he confessed? Has Sirius been freed? Can I talk to him? We have so much to discuss . . ."
"One question at a time, Professor Lupin," Dumbledore said calmly. "The children are fine. Poppy kept them overnight, but all three were released from the hospital wing this morning."
Remus nodded, relief showing on his face. "I didn't think I had attacked them, but sometimes . . . I can't remember everything that happens." He paused. "And Sirius and Peter?"
Dumbledore sighed. "It is a rather long story, Remus, but if you are willing to have patience, I will tell you everything."
Remus nodded. "Please do."
The full story took over fifteen minutes to relate. Dumbledore told Remus of Peter's escape, of Sirius and Harry being cornered by the dementors, about Harry's Patronus saving them both, and about Harry and Hermione's experience with the Time-Turner that led them to free both Sirius and Buckbeak.
"And so," Dumbledore concluded, "both Sirius and Buckbeak have escaped from the authorities that were seeking their deaths or incarcerations – and Harry and Hermione managed to save quite a few lives." He smiled slightly. "I'm sure you will join me in saying that they are two incredibly talented young people."
Remus did not reply. He buried his face in his hands, unwilling to look up at the headmaster. Dumbledore watched him in silence for a moment before speaking again.
"I certainly hope you are not blaming yourself for what happened last night."
"How can I not?" Remus asked, raising his eyes to meet Dumbledore's penetrating gaze. "If I had just –"
Dumbledore stopped him by raising a hand. "Remus, do you realize how many lives were saved by your actions last night? And, yes, I do mean all your actions. You know how special and trusting your bond with Harry has become this year; it was your input that convinced him of Sirius's innocence. It was your skill as a teacher that led him to produce the Patronus that saved all their lives. And, Remus," he continued softly, "although I am certain that you will not want to hear it, it was your transformation that saved Peter's life. Had Cornelius been convinced of his guilt, he may have taken his cue from Barty Crouch and handed him to the dementors without a trial. His reputation as Minister is on the line right now, and he is trying to create an image of himself as a man of action."
"I suppose you're right," Remus muttered.
Dumbledore smiled. "And I have yet to even mention the weight that has been lifted from Sirius's shoulders."
"Weight?" Remus asked, frowning slightly as he met the headmaster's eyes.
"Others now know that he is innocent," Dumbledore said simply. "You gave him your forgiveness, Remus, and I know that that is a gift he will never regard lightly – particularly because I am not sure he will ever be able to forgive himself for all that happened that night in Godric's Hollow."
Remus felt his eyes fill with tears. Giving Sirius his forgiveness and receiving the same had indeed brought a new peace to his soul. He wanted desperately to talk to his friend, but knew that it would be impossible.
"Do you know where Harry is?" he asked instead. "I want to find him – I want to ask him about his Patronus."
"Ah," Dumbledore said. "There is one other thing I must tell you before you rejoin the rest of the school."
"Yes?"
"Remus, there is no easy way for me to say this . . . I hope you will allow me to be terribly blunt."
"Please, just tell me," Remus replied.
"This morning at breakfast, Professor Snape mentioned the nature of your condition to the Slytherins."
The color drained from Remus's face, leaving his cuts and bruises standing out in vibrant reds, blues, and purples. "What?" he whispered. "They all know? They know what I am?"
"Yes, I am afraid so," Dumbledore said quietly. "You must understand, Remus, that as far as I am concerned, nothing has changed. You are still the same man you were yesterday, and that man is a brilliant teacher."
But Remus shook his head. "No, Professor. I can't stay now – not if the students know. Their parents will never trust a werewolf to be a responsible teacher, and you certainly do not need the battle of convincing them to feel differently. I am resigning. If you need that in writing, I will give you a letter."
"Remus, don't make up your mind so quickly," Dumbledore said softly. "You've just had several horrible shocks at once – I can't possibly accept a resignation made under such stress."
"My mental state is fine, sir," Remus said with a slight smile. "I do thank you for the opportunity to teach your students – and for the opportunity to get to know Harry again. I will never forget your kindness this year, or your faith in me. But I can't possibly stay – not now."
"If you are sure . . ." Dumbledore said hesitantly.
"I am," Remus sighed. He looked away for a moment, then back at his former employer. "I have loved every minute of teaching. I finally understand what has made you, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Flitwick stay with it for so long."
Dumbledore smiled sadly. "I wish it didn't have to be this way, Remus. You are the sort of teacher that we need to keep."
Remus shrugged. "I can't honestly say that I expected it to last. Being what I am . . . I'm used to leaving jobs." He smiled slightly. "Besides, isn't the job jinxed?"
Dumbledore looked pensive. "You know, Remus, I'm beginning to believe it myself."
21 June 1994
By the next morning, Remus had unpacked and reestablished himself at home. He knew that he should be looking for another job, but he had far more pressing matters to attend to first. Taking a fistful of Floo powder, he stepped over to his fireplace. He took a deep breath, then threw the powder into the grate.
"Olivia Alexander!" he yelled as the green swirling flames engulfed him.
"Goodness, Remus!" Olivia exclaimed as he climbed out of her fireplace. "I hadn't expected to see you so soon! Already bored with your summer break?"
"We need to talk," he said at once.
Her face paled as she took in the seriousness in his eyes. "What's wrong? What's happened?"
"Nothing's wrong," he said quickly. He smiled. "In fact, everything's right."
"You'll be going back to Hogwarts next year, then?" she asked with a beaming smile. "Have you broken the curse?"
"Ah, no, Liv," he said with a slight smile. "The curse is still firmly in place.
"What happened? You loved that job!"
"I know. Unfortunately, some staff members didn't love me."
"What on earth are you trying to say?"
He smiled a twisted smile. "Snivellus mentioned to his students that I'm a werewolf."
Olivia gasped. "Snape? He did that to you?"
"Yes."
"But why?"
Remus shrugged. "Some people have trouble letting go of old grudges, I suppose." He paused. "No, that's not true. I know exactly why he did it. He had to get back at me for my part in letting Sirius get the better of him yet again."
"Sirius? Remus, what on earth are you trying to tell me?"
"It's a long story, Liv, so you're going to have to have some patience with me. Do you have time now, or should we do this later?"
"No, now is good," she said, sitting down. "Have a seat and tell me what happened."
Remus sat down, and looked across at her. "Liv, do you remember the Marauders' Map?"
"That map that you guys made back in sixth year?" she asked in surprise. "Yeah, I remember it. Didn't Flich confiscate it?"
"Yeah, right before we took our N.E.W.T.s," Remus replied. "Well, apparently, he lost track of it."
"You took it back?" she laughed.
"No, I didn't," Remus replied. "Well, I didn't take it from him, at least. I confiscated it from another student."
"Remus Lupin, I'm shocked! After all the emotional turmoil you guys went through when you lost it, I'm appalled that you would take it from another student!" She laughed. "Then again, I'm glad it finally fell back into the right hands."
"Oh, no," Remus replied. "I took it from the right hands."
"What do you mean?" she frowned.
"I took it from Harry, Liv."
"Harry had it?" she asked with wide eyes. "Where did he get it?"
"I don't know," Remus admitted. "I told him that I didn't want to know – and I probably don't."
"Why did you take it from him?" she asked. "You guys always said that it would go to your kids one day. I would think that you'd be happy to see that the next generation marauder got his hands on it."
"Under normal circumstances, yes," Remus said. "But, Liv, the way things looked, I couldn't let him keep it. What if he had lost it, and someone else had picked it up? Someone who knew how to use it?"
"You were afraid that Sirius would find it," she said stiffly. "I heard that he broke into the school. You thought that he might be using the map to do it."
Remus nodded. "Well, I knew that he didn't need the map just to break in. He knew the secret passages in and out of that school better than anyone. But I was afraid of what would happen if he had it once he was in. You remember how it works right? It shows everyone in the castle and on the grounds."
"It would have shown him exactly where Harry was," she said softly.
"Exactly. So, I took it to keep it safe."
"And to watch it yourself," she added with a smile.
"Well, yes," he admitted. "I remember saying when we wrote it that I could watch it all day. And I still can. You can spend forever just looking for one person, or marking that person's steps."
"You have a good attention span."
He smiled. "Well, the other day, Hagrid's hippogriff was scheduled to be executed. I know that Harry and his friends Ron and Hermione are very close with Hagrid, so I had a feeling that they might try to go visit him right before it happened – not exactly safe for Harry, as you know. Of course, I was right. They went out of the castle, to Hagrid's, and then left again."
"Sounds like a few other former students I can think of," Olivia grinned.
"I suppose so," Remus agreed with a grin. Then he sobered. "But, Liv, here's the thing. When they left Hagrid's hut, they weren't alone."
The color drained from her face again. "Was Sirius tailing them?"
"No," Remus said slowly, "but someone else was with them."
"Who?"
"Peter."
"Peter?" she repeated in confusion. "Peter who?"
"Peter Pettigrew."
Her eyes grew to the size of saucers. "No, Remus, you know that can't be true. Peter's dead. Sirius killed him with all those Muggles years ago. There's no way he was with them."
"But he was, Liv!" Remus exclaimed. "I saw him!"
"The map must have been lying –"
"It can't!" Remus cried. "It doesn't have the capacity to lie! I wrote that map, Liv! I know exactly how we charmed it! We made sure that it would never reflect anything but absolute truth!"
"But how is that possible? How could he have been with them?"
"Because he's been with them ever since we thought he died," Remus said softly. "Sirius didn't kill Peter, Liv. He transformed into a rat and ran away. He's been living with the Weasley family for nearly thirteen years, pretending to be the family pet."
"But why would he do that?" she asked, frowning deeply. "Remus, this is the most inane story. How can you believe that it's true?"
"Because I talked to him, Liv," Remus said slowly. "I talked to Peter."
Olivia pressed her hands over her eyes. "You talked to him," she repeated slowly. She lowered her hands, and looked at him in shock. "So you're telling me that Peter Pettigrew – the Peter Pettigrew we have believed to be dead, the Peter Pettigrew that we have spent nearly thirteen years mourning, the man we believed to have died a hero's death – is alive?"
"Yes."
"Okay," she said, obviously willing herself to remain calm. "Okay. So Peter's alive. Can I see him?"
"No."
"Why not?" she asked, her temper beginning to rise.
"Because he's gone."
"Gone? What do you mean? Why would he leave so soon after finally seeing you again? Didn't he want to see Dana and I, too?"
"No, Liv, he didn't want to see any of us. He's on the run again."
"Remus, you are making absolutely no sense."
"Then stop asking me questions and let me talk!" Remus finally exclaimed.
"Fine!" Olivia replied. "Just tell me everything!"
Remus drew a deep breath. "Like I said, the kids had Peter with them when they left Hagrid's. I was absolutely shocked, obviously, and started watching their progress even more closely. They hadn't made it very far when they literally ran into someone else –"
"Sirius," she said weakly. "Oh, God, Remus, he didn't hurt Harry, did he?"
"No, Harry's fine," he assured her. "But Sirius grabbed Peter and Harry's friend Ron and pulled them down the tunnel under the Whomping Willow. The last thing I saw was Harry and Hermione following them."
"The last thing you saw?"
"Well, the map doesn't show the tunnel's other end. It just shows the end on the grounds. But I know where it goes, and I was sure no good could come of any of this – so I followed them."
"You went down the tunnel after them?"
"Yes. I followed them to the Shrieking Shack. By the time I got there, Harry already had his wand pointing straight at Sirius's chest – I'm sure he had heard the story of Sirius betraying his parents, and wanted to avenge their deaths."
"He killed Sirius?" Olivia whispered.
"No, I disarmed him before he could do anything. Then we had to straighten out a few issues – such as why Sirius had broken out of prison in the first place, and why Peter would choose to live as a rat for all these years, leaving us and his mother to think that he was dead."
"He adored his mother," Olivia said softly. "Why would he do that to her? Why would he put her through that?" Suddenly, her eyes grew wide. "Remus . . ."
Remus nodded. "They switched Secret Keepers," he said. "They never told anyone. It was part of their plan – they were going to let the world think that Sirius was the Secret Keeper to divert the attention away from Peter." He lowered his head. "You know that they knew there was a spy in the Order back then – they thought that it was me."
"You?" Olivia exclaimed. "How could . . .?" She trailed off, her eyes growing even wider. "I remember . . . when I told Sirius that James's mum had been killed because Voldemort thought that she was their Secret Keeper, he started – well, at the time I thought he was just rambling. I thought he was grief-stricken, so it didn't bother me that he wasn't making sense. But I remember that he was stunned that the Death Eaters would think that Mrs. Potter was the Secret Keeper. He said something about how they had made sure that you knew that he was going to be their Secret Keeper . . ." She trailed off. "Oh, Remus. They thought that you would take the information back to Voldemort. Sirius wanted them to think it was him."
"Yes, that was the plan."
Tears filled her eyes. "Sirius was ready to let the Death Eaters attack him to find James and Lily. That way Peter would stay safe, and so would the Potters."
"Yes."
"He was ready to die for them." A tear slid down her cheek. "For thirteen years, I have been blaming Sirius for their deaths. And all that time, he's been innocent. He never did anything to them except volunteer his life for theirs."
Remus looked down and swallowed hard. "Yes," he said. "Peter was their Secret Keeper, and Peter told Voldemort how to find them. Sirius found out and went out after Peter with the intention of killing him. But Peter, for once in his life, beat Sirius. He blew up the street and all those people, cut off his finger, and transformed. He was gone before Sirius could do anything to stop him."
"Oh, God," Olivia moaned, tears beginning to slip down her cheeks in rapid streams. "How could we have been so wrong for so long?"
"What else could we have thought?" Remus asked. "All the evidence said that Sirius killed them all. How were we to know that Peter was their Secret Keeper? Even Dumbledore didn't know. And, let's be honest, Liv – we never in a million years would have believed that Peter could have beaten Sirius in a duel situation."
"Peter . . ." she muttered. She looked up with fire in her eyes. "Where is that little rat? I want to tear him to pieces!"
"You can't," Remus said simply. "He's escaped again."
"What? Remus, how could you have let him get away?"
"It was the night of the full moon," he said with a bitter, sad smile. "I transformed. There was nothing I could do. Sirius transformed to keep me away from the children, and Peter transformed and escaped." He sighed. "And so he is still out there somewhere, perhaps even more dangerous that he ever was before."
"How so?"
"Now we all know that he's guilty. He knows that he can never come back to us – not after Sirius and I tried to kill him yesterday."
"Why didn't you? How could you have let him live after all that you learned?"
"Harry stopped us."
"Harry? I thought you said he wanted to avenge his parents' deaths!"
Remus smiled. "He is more like his parents than you would believe. He stood there in between Peter and Sirius and I and told us the he couldn't let us kill him. He said that he didn't think that James would want us to become murderers over Peter."
Olivia looked into space for a moment, her tears still falling. Then she looked back at Remus with a sad smile. "He's right, you know. James and Lily would never have wanted you to become murderers over this. They wouldn't have wanted Peter killed."
"I know." He smiled. "I wish you could meet Harry, Liv. You'd just love him."
"I already do," she smiled. She looked away again, then brought her eyes back to Remus. "Where is Sirius now?"
"Your guess is as good as mine," he sighed.
He recounted the story of Harry and Hermione saving Sirius with Buckbeak. When he finished talking, Olivia jumped out of her chair and began to pace around the room.
"Liv?" Remus asked.
"How is any of this fair?" she exploded. "We finally find out that Sirius is innocent, but none of us have the chance to talk to him? None of us can see him? None of us can tell him that we're sorry for thinking that he could ever have hurt Lily and James?"
Remus jumped up, and grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "He knows," he said quietly, intensely. "He knows that we're sorry. And he's sorry for not trusting us."
A single tear slid down her cheek. "I want to see him, Remus," she whispered.
"I know," he said, pulling her close. "I know."
And then she began to sob, holding tightly to Remus. He held her just as tightly, trying to help her find some comfort in all of this horrible, yet wonderful, news.
When Olivia was finally able to stop crying, she looked up at Remus with tragic eyes.
"Are you all right?" he asked softly.
"Oh, I'm fantastic," she said wryly. "You've just told me that the man that I was going to marry is innocent of all the crimes I've accused him of for the past thirteen years, but that I'll never be able to see him again. I've never been better."
"It might not be as horrible as that," Remus said. "Once we find Peter and prove Sirius's innocence, he'll be able to come out of hiding and you'll be able to see him again."
She nodded. "You've seen him, Remus. How did he look?"
Remus hesitated. He couldn't tell her the truth. It would break her heart to think of Sirius as anything other than the handsome twenty-two year old that she remembered.
"Remus?"
"Older," he said at last, feeling that he was giving a truthful answer that wouldn't give too much away. "He's aged, Liv, just like we have. Maybe a bit more than us, since he had to endure horrors we'll never know, but he looks older. I still recognized him, though – as soon as I saw him, I knew who he was."
She nodded, and was silent for a moment. "We need to tell Dana all this," she said at last.
"Do you want to do that now?"
"Yes, before the Prophet starts printing something about it," she said. She smiled sadly. "It's time she had some news from us instead of from that horrid paper."
"All right, then," Remus nodded. "Let's go."
They both Disapparated, reappearing in Dana's living room. The first thing that Remus heard was a high-pitched squeal.
"Uncle Remus!"
He grinned, and opened his arms to receive his goddaughter. Dana's daughter Laura, named for Remus's wife, threw herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck. He held her tightly, lifting her off the ground in a bear hug.
"I've missed you!" she exclaimed. "I didn't think you'd be here today! Did you know that I just got home from school yesterday?"
"I did know that," he replied. "Did you have a good year?"
"Oh, yes," she said, pulling back. "I learned so much! Can I show you? Please? At least my new defense spells? I learned to disarm, to do a shield charm, a couple of defensive jinxes –"
"Laura, calm down," Dana laughed, cutting her daughter off. "Let Uncle Remus catch his breath. And you know very well that you're not allowed to do magic away from school."
"But I want to show him my defensive spells," Laura protested. "Please, Mum, let me show him!"
"It's all right, love," Remus said, trying to avert the battle that he knew would be forthcoming. Laura was very stubborn and determined, and he knew she would never stop until she got her way. "I know that you can do them better than anyone else in your class. How about you show me your books, and we'll talk about all the new defensive spells you learned?"
"All right," she said, always easily placated by her godfather. "I'll go find them."
"So," Dana said as her daughter ran off to dig through her school supplies, "what actually brings you two over today? I know you weren't planning to visit us until next week, Remus."
Remus looked at Olivia, who nodded. "We have a lot to talk about, Dana."
"What do you mean?"
"Can we sit down?"
"All right," Dana replied, leading them into the living room. "What's this all about?"
Remus smiled slightly as they all sat down together. "I guess you could say that I have some news that sorts out our past."
"I wasn't aware that our past was so convoluted," Dana smiled.
"You have no idea," Olivia said. "Dana – we got it all wrong."
"Got what all wrong?"
"What happened to Lily and James."
Dana frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"Let Remus tell you."
"Remus?" she asked, turning to face him.
He drew a deep breath. "Dana – Peter's alive."
"What?" she gasped. "How can that be? Who told you that? Remus, he's dead, you know he's dead, we went to his memorial –"
"We were wrong," Remus said simply. "We got it all wrong, and we've believed a lie for thirteen years. Sirius was never James and Lily's Secret Keeper, Dana, Peter was. They switched without telling any of us. Only Sirius knew."
"Who told you this?" Dana asked, her eyes narrowing.
"Let me start at the beginning." Remus again told the whole story of taking the Marauders' Map, of following the children with his eyes, of seeing both Peter and Sirius on the map, of catching them in the Shrieking Shack, of the confessions, of the transformations, of the daring escape.
Dana, whose face had grown steadily paler as she had listened to Remus speak, was silent for several moment after he had finished his tale. Olivia looked at her with concern.
"Are you all right, Dana?"
She turned slowly to face Olivia. "Are you?" she asked. "My God, Liv, look at all we put you through for no reason. All that time, all those years, we all believed that Sirius was guilty, that he had fooled us all, that he had completely deceived you – and all that time, he was innocent."
Tears pooled in Olivia's eyes again. "I know," she said. "I know, but it's going to be okay. Remus is right; when Peter's been caught and Sirius's name has been cleared, maybe I can see him again. Maybe he'll forgive me. Maybe we can get to know one another again . . . and maybe we can make up for lost time."
"I hope so, Liv," Dana said, her own tears beginning to spill over. "I really, really hope so." She looked at Remus. "How did Harry take all of this?"
"He's upset, of course," Remus replied. "Imagine finding your godfather only to lose him again! But at least now he knows the truth – and I have a feeling that just that means the world to him."
"And to Sirius," Dana murmured. "He adored Harry. To be forced to spend all that time away from him . . ."
"I think we all know what that feels like," Olivia said. "Harry meant the world to all of us."
"Harry?" asked a new voice. "Harry who?"
They all looked up as Laura came into the room, clutching a stack of books.
"You found your books?" Remus asked, hoping to distract her from her favorite topic. "It certainly took you awhile."
Laura smiled, easily diverted by Remus's question. "They were at the bottom of my trunk. I haven't had time to unpack yet."
"She means she hasn't had the motivation to unpack yet," Dana smiled. "I hope you didn't just throw your clothes all over your room."
Laura rolled her eyes. "Grandma came in when I was looking for my books, and she made me unpack everything right. That's why it took me so long."
"That's all right," Remus smiled. "I'm still here. I wouldn't leave without talking to you."
She grinned. "Can I show you my books now?"
"Absolutely," Remus grinned. He looked at his friends. "Are you both all right?"
"Getting there," Olivia replied.
Dana nodded her agreement. "Laura, take Uncle Remus to the kitchen to show him your books so you can spread out at the table." She looked from her daughter to her oldest friend. "Aunt Olivia and I need to talk."
Laura grabbed Remus by the hand to pull him from his seat, and took him to the kitchen. The sound of their conversation floated back to the living room as Dana looked at Olivia.
"Are you all right?" she asked again.
Olivia smiled. "Do you know how many times I've had to answer that since this happened? Do you want me to say no? Would that make you happy?"
"No," Dana replied. "I just want to make sure that you're going to make it through this."
"Of course I will," Olivia said. "I'm an Auror, Dana. We're strong."
"And they don't feel emotions," Dana said sharply. "Is that what you're doing right now, Liv? Refusing to let yourself feel anything?"
"Of course I'm feeling this!" she exclaimed. "How could I not? Dana, I would give anything – anything – to be able to find Sirius right now! I would give anything to be able to hold him, to touch his face, to tell him that I'm sorry! I would give anything to be able to fill the horrible hole that the dementors have left in his soul."
She paused, and the fire again jumped into her eyes. "And I would give anything to have ten minutes alone with Peter Pettigrew. Believe me, Dana, he wouldn't walk away from that meeting. I would make sure that he paid for everything that he's done to us, for everything that he's put us through. I would make sure that he endured as much pain as I've endured since that night in 1981."