"Are you sure you don't want to invite anyone else?" Sam asked. The edge of a whine trembled in his voice.
I nodded. "I'm absolutely sure."
"Alright, if you say so," he shrugged, but I heard the bite of disappointment.
I reached towards him, not quite letting my fingers brush his sleeve. "Hey, I see where you're coming from, and I know you just want to throw him a really great party, but I need you to trust me on this one."
He stared at me, his green gaze shiny with deflated acceptance. "Okay, fine."
Smiling, I dropped my hand and took a few steps back to survey our progress.
It was 1 o'clock in the afternoon, and we stood in the eastern part of the Stardrop Saloon. Dark blue streamers clung to the rafters and spiralled into sweeping arcs attached at every beam. A small silver banner read "Happy Birthday" in neat black print, and was pinned to the far wall, glinting in the saloon's dim light. A small pile of presents sat on the floor just beyond the pool table, and in every corner, a bunch of three or four balloons bobbed in the slight draft that came from the heating vents. Over the pool table we had draped a tablecloth that depicted a night sky dotted with sequin stars. The centerpiece was a toy motorcycle that we had asked Leah to paint blue—an homage to Sebastian's beloved steed. Silver and gold star confetti lay sprinkled across the tablecloth. All in all, the space looked transformed and ready for a party.
"Hey Gus, we're all done setting up," I said, sidling up to the bar.
With both hands, he worked a dirty rag around the rim of a very used beer stein. "Great," he nodded, his head bobbing with a lazy evenness.
"Thanks again for letting us come in early and decorate," I flashed him a smile. "Are you sure no one will be bothered that we've taken that section over?"
"Oh, I'm sure," he waved his hand holding the rag at me. "Only you kids ever use that area, anyway."
Sam shuffled forward, hands in his pockets. "Yeah, I guess that's true. Thanks again."
"You're welcome," Gus grinned and we waved at him as we headed out into the cold.
Pulling my coat close around myself, I turned to face Sam. "That's it for now. I'll see you back here in a couple hours."
He nodded, his jaw set. "I'll be here by 4 o'clock, I think."
"That's fine. I'll probably get here a little bit early, as long as that's okay by you."
"Yeah." He nodded once more, his eyebrows knitting together.
I gave him a pat on the shoulder. "It'll go well, I'm sure of it."
He grimaced, but said nothing as we parted ways.
With just less than two hours to kill, I headed back to my farm to change my clothes and gather the remaining supplies and presents. The snow still hadn't lost its splendour, but I hardly had time to enjoy its crispness as I sprinted home.
Shutting the front door behind me, I took a deep breath as I tore into my bedroom.
There was no getting around the fact that I didn't have any dresses, and so I pulled on my nicest black jeans, and dressiest shirt. Dark boots completed my look, and I had a flutter of remembrance of that day when I had used Rasmodius's mirror. My outfit may have been overkill in the black department, but this was my style. I had to bite my lip as I reminded myself of it.
My hair was getting far too long, but this was not the time to consider getting a hair cut, and so a hair clip had to suffice. I grabbed the delicate bow I had stowed in a chest by my dresser and clipped back some of the hair from my face. Not perfect by any means, but it would have to do.
Last but not least, I scurried to the chest I kept by the front door. Rummaging around in it, I managed to find the few last things I wanted to bring to the party. I placed them carefully into my backpack, trying not to think about how much heavier my bag would be.
Just before stepping back out into the cold, I gave Dog a pat on the head.
"I don't know when exactly I'll be back home, but I promise that I'm not abandoning you," I murmured.
He panted and slapped his tail against the floor.
Straightening up, I took one last look around. I didn't want to forget anything, but time was running out if I intended on getting to the saloon before Sebastian got there.
"Here we go," I whispered, and hurled myself outside.
The saloon had a few more patrons in it now than when I had been here earlier with Sam, and I offered a wave to each of the folks I saw. They returned the gesture with a knowing grin, and I was somewhat grateful that Gus had apprised them of the situation. Everyone knew Sebastian and everyone understood that this was his day. One of the perks of living in a small town, I conceded.
As I turned the corner into our little section of the saloon, I breathed a tiny sigh of relief when I saw that nothing had been disturbed since we had last been here.
I took off my backpack and quickly retrieved the items that we needed, and placed them on the covered pool table. Checking the time, I chucked my backpack under the pool table. I still had some time, but Sam and Abigail should be showing up soon. Unable to make myself settle down on one of the sofas, I began to pace.
Sebastian would be wondering why I hadn't visited him today, and my heart ached to think of how he might be feeling right now. Hopefully he wasn't hurt. Hopefully he would understand once he saw us here. Hopefully he had been caught up in his work all day and hadn't spared me a thought.
"Hey."
I looked up at the sound of the voice. Lost in my thoughts, it took a moment for my brain to register that it was Sam, not Sebastian. A second round of relief washed over me.
"Hey," I replied, halting my pacing rather suddenly.
Sam had actually tried to tame his hair with gel or water, and for a moment I was too shocked to react. As he stepped fully into view, Abigail came in behind him.
"Oh wow, you guys did a great job of decorating," she said, her eyes widening as she took it all in.
"Thanks," I replied, feeling myself blush. "I'm glad you're here and that you made it before Sebastian."
Abigail beamed at me as she came in closer. "Oh, about that," she paused.
I raised a curious eyebrow at her.
"Well," she giggled, "you know the route Sebastian takes to come into town, right?"
I nodded slowly.
"So, I went out and put some stones in his path."
I couldn't help but stare at her with some incredulity.
She continued, oblivious to my concern, "He's going to be so mad. It's going to slow him down, for sure."
"Huh," Sam said, rubbing his chin. "That might actually work. He's gonna have to smash those rocks or go another way or something."
"He's totally gonna smash the stones," Abigail said with a wink. "He's too stubborn to go another way."
Shaking my head slightly, I sighed against the backdrop of laughter. "Okay, well in any case, we should get into position."
It took all of maybe five minutes for the three of us to sort out a decent hiding spot, and with the passing of each second, my heart pounded in increasing anticipation. What if he showed up right now? I asked myself every time we disagreed on hiding spots. But in the end, we settled on the three of us crouching behind the pool table—a compromise that resulted in none of us being happy.
Every time the door swung open and a new set of footsteps joined the cacophony of noise, I strained to hear Gus's voice. We had asked him to loudly give us a signal, but as time went on and we exchanged increasingly more anxious glances, we began to lose hope.
"What if he never comes?" Sam asked and my ears strained to just make out his words.
"He has to come," Abigail stated, raising her voice above the whisper we had adopted.
"You guys," I began, but stopped as I heard Gus's voice boom in our general direction.
"Well," he said with an uncharacteristic amount of gusto, "hello, Sebastian! Come here."
I knew that Sebastian was now cautiously picking his way over to the bar. I knew that Gus was now offering Sebastian a beer, courtesy of the house. I also knew that Sebastian would then politely decline. Beside me, Sam stiffened and Abigail's eyes went wider than normal.
Familiar footsteps approached and the three of us got ready to spring into the air.
A telltale board in the floor squeaked as the footsteps stopped. I just barely made out the sudden intake of a breath. "What the—"
"Surprise," we cried in unison, the three of us leaping to our feet. "Happy birthday, Sebastian."
His mouth hung open as his lips worked to try and form words. A lank of hair, clumped with perspiration, hung over one eye, and in the other, I saw the remains of a searing anger dissipate as the situation unfurled before him.
We came out from behind the pool table, our arms laden with gifts.
"Are you surprised?" Sam asked, a grin lighting up his face.
Sebastian stopped gaping and nodded as he spoke. "Yes, definitely."
Sam and Abigail rushed forward to engulf him in a hug, and I mouthed a small "I'm sorry" as I took in his bewilderment.
He shook his head once and mustered a small smile. I felt like I could finally breathe again.
The rest of the evening passed in a blur of food, laughter, and pool. After presenting Sebastian with a few small gifts—a chunk of obsidian, a frozen tear, and a void egg—we dug into the food I had prepared: pumpkin soup, sashimi, maki rolls, and pizza.
Sam and Abigail were more than fully able to carry on a conversation by themselves, and so we let them, chiming in whenever our input was requested. As much as Sebastian was enjoying the company of his friends, every time I caught his eye, his smile seemed to grow increasingly more exhausted. When dinner was done, the tablecloth came off and Sebastian and Sam got into their weekly pool match.
The familiarity and regularity of this routine eased the latent tension in Sebastian's shoulders, and as I saw him relax into the game, I let out a sigh and sank into the cushions of the couch.
"This turned out really well," Abigail said from her spot on the other couch.
I nodded. "Yeah, it couldn't have gone better, I think."
An easy silence settled on us, and I got caught up in watching the guys playing pool until Abigail spoke again.
"I'm glad he has you." Her azure-blue gaze was focused elsewhere, but as I shifted in my seat, her eyes flicked to me. "And I really appreciate that you included me in this."
I said nothing for a moment, caught off guard by her statement. Tucking my hands under my legs, I took in a deep breath. "Of course I'd include you. You're one of his friends, one of his oldest. If it wasn't for you, he probably wouldn't be the person that he is today."
She paused, her lips parting as if to protest, but all that came of the moment was a slight shrug.
Leaning forward, I let my line of sight rake the floor before sweeping up to take in her face. Her cheeks were flushed and once more, her gaze had returned to some other place. "Abigail," I began, voice low, "I just want to say thank you for being his friend for all these years."
"You're welcome," she said absently, the ghost of a smile playing about her lips. I wondered if she had been entirely truthful when she had told me that she had never returned Sebastian's crush on her.
While the guys played pool, I drifted from my seat on the couch to the arcade machines and back. Both required far more skill than I possessed, and not even with Abigail's help was I able to make much progress in either of them. When the clock struck 9 o'clock, the sound of pool balls clacking against each other stopped, and Sam and Sebastian sidled over to us.
"I think that's enough pool for tonight," Sam said, hands behind his head. A sheen of sweat shone against his skin.
"Good game?" I asked, rising to my feet.
"As good as always," Sebastian said with a tired smile.
"You have to open the rest of your presents," Abigail reminded him.
His smile evaporated. "Oh, right."
Dutifully, she went to the small pile of presents in the back corner and brought them out to him.
One by one, he unwrapped them, letting the loose wrapping paper fall to the floor with every tear. Abigail had gotten him a new computer game, and Sam had gotten him some new comics. The last gift was from me, and it was a motorcycle tune-up kit my dad had recommended. Sebastian's reactions were limned with fatigue, but a genuine happiness managed to shine through.
"Thank you, guys," he said once he held them all in his hands. Carefully he tucked the presents into the pocket-pouch of his hoodie.
"You're welcome," Abigail said with a giggle, and Sam nodded vigorously in agreement.
I sensed that he was nearing the end of his patience and so I linked my arm through his. "Alright, then I think it's time to head back out into the chilly night."
There were nods all around and murmured good-byes as people pulled on their jackets and joined the rest of the saloon's patrons filing out the door.
"Thanks again, Gus," I called as we left. "I'll be back tomorrow to clean up."
He waved. "Excellent. Have a very happy birthday, Sebastian."
Bowing his head briefly, Sebastian thanked him and we stepped out into the cold.
"I'll walk you home," I said firmly.
After the warmth and noise of inside, I was thankful for the silent, cold breeze nipping at my skin. Without needing to verbalize it, we basked in the quietude of the night. Time danced forward as we took our time walking through the snow. Much of it had been packed down and kicked out of the path, but what remained in our sight glittered in the milky light of the moon. My breath caught as Sebastian's house came into view and I felt my feet drag. Even though we hadn't said a word to each other, I was loathed to surrender his company.
As we reached the front door, our pace slowed to a stop and we turned to face each other.
In a movement as fluid as water, he reached out and our hands met, fingers entwining.
"I guess this is goodnight, then," I said, my breath forming a haze that drifted out and away.
He tugged me closer until I was able to feel the heat emanating from his body. "I suppose so." He cocked his head to one side and I felt that strange, familiar stab of desire in my chest as I waded into the darkness of his eyes. "You remembered my birthday," he said, and his tone belied a certain amount of awe. In spite of the fatigue that bruised the skin around his eyes, they shone with a gratefulness and shyness.
I nodded, afraid of saying something that might ruin the moment.
"I'm impressed. Thanks," he paused, "thanks for everything."
"You're very welcome."
He tugged again and our hands broke apart. His arms reached around me and for a brief moment, I thought he might kiss me and I closed my eyes. My heart leapt into my throat, but there was no softness, no flutter of lips brushing my skin. I opened my eyes to blackness, and the fabric of his hoodie.
With my face pressed against his chest, I could feel the beat of his heart, and against it I knew that tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. I let my fingers press into his back, rigid and sore from the adrenaline that had rushed so thickly just a moment ago. I bit down a sob, and by the time we pulled apart, I was able to tug a rueful smile onto my face.
The beast began a stream of whispers inside my head, and it took everything in my power to keep myself together. He could never love you, it murmured. You cannot be loved. You are alone.
As he took in my stony expression, he seemed startled. Before he could probe, I took a steadying breath and spoke, "Goodnight, Sebastian."
His brow furrowed, but he made no movement. "Goodnight," he murmured in reply as I turned away and fled into the night.