A/N: Thanks for the continued feedback, everyone. I'm trying my best to finish these chapters quickly – I'll try to have the next one out soon!

paige-rossi-black: You're right, Moody is retired. But I see him as the person who can't leave work even after retirement – sort of like teachers who retire then become substitutes. Tonks mentions something about it in this chapter.

turtledove797: Olivia is a little, blond, blue-eyed thing. She's described as "pixie-like" because she's petite. I think of her as pretty, but not gorgeous. Does that help?

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter, or Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Some dialogue and scene inspiration is taken from pages 122 and 175 – 178 of the American hardback edition.

Too Soon for Goodbye

"I trust that Harry has arrived safely?"

"Yes, sir," Remus said as he passed a tray bearing glasses of mulled mead to Dumbledore. "We didn't have any problems at all."

"No interference from Harry's aunt or uncle?"

"No, sir. The message that Tonks gave them about winning the contest worked beautifully. They and Harry's cousin were gone by the time we got there, and did not return before we left."

Dumbledore nodded. "How is Harry?" he asked, his voice and eyes softening.

"Frustrated and scared," Remus said honestly. "He was thrilled to see us, of course. He could hardly wait to get out of the house. But he's angry over the lack of information he's received, and very worried about his hearing."

"Yes, I expected that." He sighed. "I've done my best to make this hearing easy for him. Really, as long as Cornelius follows the law, there is no reason that Harry should be punished. Even underage wizards are allowed to use magic to save their own lives."

"He's still nervous," Remus said. "It might help him to hear that from you, sir."

Dumbledore smiled vaguely. "I'll see him if I can."

"Sir, I have a request," Sirius said, speaking for the first time since Dumbledore had summoned him and Remus to the library to discuss Harry's arrival.

"Yes?" Dumbledore asked, looking at him curiously.

"I'd like to accompany Harry to his hearing," Sirius said without preamble.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "You want to just walk into the Ministry offices, knowing very well that that the Ministry is searching for you?"

"I'd like to go in my Animagus form, sir." He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face as he continued, "I promise not to do anything that could jeopardize Kingsley's investigation into my whereabouts – particularly when I'm supposed to be in Tibet."

"I've heard that Tibet is lovely this time of year," Dumbledore replied with a smile. He looked pensive. "You would risk your safety and freedom to accompany Harry to his hearing?"

"I don't want him to have to go in there alone, sir."

"Arthur will take him," Dumbledore said, "and I will join him once he is there. He won't be alone."

"Still . . . I'd like to be there with him."

Dumbledore nodded. "Will you give me time to consider this?"

"Of course."

"I'll let you know before the hearing." He placed his empty glass back on the tray that Remus had set on the table. "I should return to the school. I want to see if there have been any applications for the Defense position."

Remus couldn't help grinning. "People tend to be afraid to take cursed jobs, sir."

"Yes," Dumbledore said pensively. "It is becoming most difficult to find applicants. But, after the post I received from Cornelius this afternoon, it is imperative that I find a suitable teacher – the sooner, the better."

"Post from the Minister?" Remus asked, frowning slightly.

Dumbledore sighed. "He has passed an educational decree giving himself power to appoint teachers at Hogwarts if 'suitable instructors' cannot be found within a set amount of time before the start of the school year."

Sirius's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying that the Ministry is trying to interfere at Hogwarts?"

"Trying, Sirius, trying," Dumbledore said. "Cornelius forgets that I am still Headmaster of the school. Even if he does succeed in appointing teachers, they will still answer to me. They will still teach the curriculum I set forth." He smiled slightly, his eyes twinkling. "As much as he may hate to admit it, it is still my school."

"So you're not worried?" Sirius asked.

"No more than I need to be," Dumbledore replied. "Please do not mention this to the children. There is no reason for them to concern themselves with a problem that is mine alone." He glanced at Remus. "I don't suppose there's a chance you'd like to have your old job back?"

Remus sighed. "I would love to come back, sir," he said, "but you know I can't."

Dumbledore nodded. "I expected you to say as much. But, if you change your mind, my offer still stands."

"Thank you, sir."

He nodded again. "I should really be going. Tell Harry to keep himself out of trouble."

"That shouldn't be too difficult for him," Remus smiled. "Molly has a very full cleaning schedule for all the children."

"Good. Keep him busy. That way he won't have time to think about what's happening."

"We'll do that."

Dumbledore nodded again, and stood to his feet. "I'll see you both before the hearing," he promised as he took his leave.

Alone with him in the library, Sirius looked at Remus. "Why did you turn him down? I know that you loved that job. Why didn't you take it back?"

Remus smiled sadly. "You know why."

Sirius sighed. "Someday, Remus, you're going to have to stop using that excuse."

"It's not an excuse. It's far more trouble than it's worth to have me teaching at Hogwarts. Aside from all that he'd have to deal with over all that new legislation we have courtesy of Dolores Umbridge, parents would be screaming for not only my head, but also for Dumbledore's if they knew he was employing a werewolf to teach their children."

Sirius shook his head. "He was willing to take the risk."

"He wants to find a – what did he say? – 'suitable instructor,' before the Ministry finds one for him." Remus smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, I have a feeling the Ministry would think of me as less than suitable, regardless of what Dumbledore said on my behalf."

"The government and the law are letting you hide behind your favorite excuse this time," Sirius said. "But don't expect it to always go this way."

Remus sighed, and looked away. "It generally does."

"Remus," Sirius began.

"Don't," Remus said. He cast his mind around for a new topic, and hit upon the other part of their conversation with the Headmaster. "You want to go with Harry to the hearing?" he asked.

"Of course," Sirius replied. "You don't?"

"Arthur and Dumbledore will be there with him," Remus said. "I know he trusts both of them, and I'm sure they'll do all they can for him."

"But how can you not want to be there yourself? How can you not want to support him through this?"

Remus sighed. "Unfortunately, Sirius, my decision has very little to do with Harry himself, and everything to do with the Order."

"The Order?"

"Yes. You know that Dumbledore wants to keep us under wraps for now. How would it look if I showed up at the Ministry with Harry? It makes sense for Dumbledore to be there – he's Harry's headmaster, and the hearing deals with Harry's expulsion from his school. It makes sense for Arthur to take him – everyone knows how close Harry and Ron are, and that Harry often stays with the Weasleys. But I? I'm just one of Harry's teachers – one who, based on current laws, should be unemployed and as far away from 'civilized society' as possible." He finished his speech with a rather bitter, angry tone.

"Down, boy," Sirius teased.

Remus shook his head and twisted his hands in agitation. "I'm sorry. It's just that every time I think of the Ministry and what they've done to Harry, or that Umbridge woman and what she's done to me, it makes me so angry . . ."

"Good!" Sirius said approvingly.

"Good?" Remus asked.

"You don't get angry nearly often enough," Sirius said. "You need to let your anger out more often, or you'll end up like Harry, screaming your head off at your best friends just to release the tension."

Remus smiled. "He did sort of bite their heads off, didn't he?"

Sirius grinned. "Just like Lily would have."

"Yeah, she had quite the explosive temper."

"There's so much of them – both Lily and James – in him," Sirius said. "It's more than just he fact that he look enough like James to be his twin. It's his personality, the way he relates to people, everything about him. He reminds me of them so much."

"He is very like them," Remus said slowly, "but he's also quite different."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, standing up. "He's a great kid."

"He is," Remus agreed.

"Well, I'm going to go see if he's still awake – say good night again."

Remus nodded, watching as Sirius left the room. Even after he was gone, Remus continued to stare into the doorway that had framed his retreating back.

"Oh, Sirius," he sighed, "was Molly right? Do you even realize who he is? Do you think he's your best friend back from the dead?"

Remus had always known that the bond between Sirius and James was stronger than any other. He had known that, although he was one of their best friends, nothing could ever rival the friendship they shared. Sirius and James had been inseparable at Hogwarts, and had remained the closest friends imaginable until James's death. Could it be that Sirius truly wasn't ready to let go of that friendship? Could it be that he was searching for a way to rebuild the bond he and James had once shared?

Remus shivered slightly, hoping that he was wrong, that Sirius was just making sweeping statements about Harry. Of course Sirius knew that Harry wasn't James. Of course he knew that he would never have James back. Of course he knew that Harry viewed him, Sirius, as a father figure, not as a friend.

Didn't he?

"Honestly, Sirius, I think this house truly is fighting back against us," Tonks laughed as she shoved a stack of parchment aside so she could sit down on the couch with her cousin.

"Still recovering from the toilet incident?" Sirius grinned.

"I may be recovering for the rest of my life!"

Remus, from his spot working at the library's one desk, looked at her with an amused smile. "The kids and Molly have done far more than we have."

"They're troopers," Tonks agreed. She glanced at Sirius. "Has Dumbledore told you if you can go with Harry on Thursday?"

"No, I haven't seen him yet," Sirius replied. He frowned slightly. "You'd think he'd be here more now that Harry's here."

"Why?" Remus asked absently.

"He went on and on about protecting Harry before we got him here, and now that he is here, where Dumbledore can watch him every waking moment if he so chooses, Dumbledore is as far from headquarters as ever."

"He knows we're all here," Remus replied. "I'd like to see a Death Eater just try to get at Harry between you and Molly Weasley."

Sirius smiled. "Molly's a bit overprotective, don't you think?"

"I think it's exactly what Harry needs," Remus said. "He doesn't remember having Lily fuss over him when he was a baby, and goodness knows Petunia never cared enough to mother him. I think Molly – and Arthur and all the Weasleys – do him a world of good."

Sirius nodded, but remained silent.

The library door opened, and Dumbledore came in. He smiled at the three of them.

"Good evening."

"We were just talking about you, sir," Tonks said cheerfully. "Were your ears burning?"

"They were tingling a bit," Dumbledore smiled, winking at Tonks. "I had hoped to speak with Sirius."

"Have you reached a decision about the hearing?" Sirius asked without preamble.

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "I am certain that you will understand, Sirius, why it is in the best interest of Harry, the Order and you yourself that you not accompany Harry to his hearing. There is too much at stake to take such a risk. Harry with have Arthur and I with him the entire time, so you can rest assured that he will not be alone."

Sirius scowled. As Remus watched his friend's expression darken, he wondered how much time he had before Sirius's temper flared.

"Have you spoken to Harry, sir?" Remus asked quickly.

"No, Molly told me that he is asleep. There is no need to wake him. I will see him at the hearing."

"I think he'd like to see you," Remus offered. "I think it might reassure him to know –"

"I will see him at the hearing," Dumbledore repeated, interrupting Remus. "Good night, gentlemen, Nymphadora."

As soon as the door closed behind him, Sirius jumped up off the couch. "He came all the way here to tell me that?" he spat.

"Sirius," Tonks said in an attempt to placate him, "I know you're disappointed, but Dumbledore's right, it's too much of a risk."

"The risk is what makes it worth it," Sirius said angrily.

"No, the risk is what makes it stupid," Remus said bluntly. "We're not fifth years anymore, Sirius, and this isn't some brilliant plan to sneak down to the kitchens after curfew. We're adults, and we're dealing with a very real danger."

"Do you think I don't see that?" Sirius yelled. "My God, Remus! I know as well as you do what we're up against! I was in the Order last time, remember? I was an Auror! I know better than most what we're fighting and what's at stake!"

"Then be an adult about it," Remus said. "Dumbledore has denied permission for you to go with Harry to the hearing. Well, Ron and Hermione can't go either, and I'm sure you understand how much they want to be there to support Harry. You need to set the example for them, to show them that they can sit here and worry just as easily as they could sit outside Amelia Bones's office and worry."

Sirius glared at him. "Don't think that you're going to make me feel better with your logic, Lupin."

"I'd never dream of it," Remus said wearily.

"Well," Tonks said, standing to her feet, "as thrilling as this display has been, I think I'll take my leave." She paused. "I have night duty tomorrow, but I'll stop by here before I got home in the morning – I want to tell Harry good luck before he leaves for his hearing."

"I think he'd appreciate that," Remus smiled.

"I think so, too." She leaned down to kiss Sirius's cheek. "Chin up, Sirius. He'll only be gone for a few hours, then he'll be cleared and life can go back to normal."

Sirius smiled sadly. "As normal as it ever is, you mean."

"Yes, that." She grinned at both of them. "I'll see you Thursday."

She walked out the room, closing the door softly behind her. Remus looked at Sirius warily.

"Are you all right now?"

"Do you know what Harry asked me the other day?" Sirius asked rather than respond to Remus's question.

Remus shook his head.

"He asked me if he could come to live here if he was expelled from Hogwarts."

Remus's eyes widened. "What did you say?"

"I gave him every parent's favorite answer – 'we'll see.'"

Remus grinned. "My parents used that all the time."

"Yeah, it seemed like a safe answer." He paused, and ran his hands over his face. "I'd love to have him here, Remus."

"Sirius," Remus said, his eyes widening again, "you can't – you aren't hoping that he'll lose? You don't want to see him expelled, do you?"

"Of course not," Sirius replied. He sighed. "I just – it'd just be nice to have someone here with me, that's all."

"I'm here."

"When you're not off on Order missions. But once the kids go back to school and Molly and Arthur go back home, it's going to just be me and Buckbeak again." He drew a deep breath. "I would never wish Harry any harm. But, if he does lose on Thursday, do you think he would be able to come here to live?"

"Dumbledore would probably decide," Remus said slowly. "But, Sirius – you do realize that he's only fifteen, right? You do realize that he needs to go to school, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Good." Remus moved as though to go back to his work, but stole another glance at his friend. Sirius was staring into space, his expression still holding anger and sadness.

Remus awoke incredibly early on Thursday morning. He spent half an hour trying to go back to sleep, but eventually gave it up as an impossibility. As much as he hated to admit it, he was far too nervous over Harry's hearing to sleep.

When he made it down to the kitchen, he found Tonks already there, searching through the cupboards. He smiled at the sight of her with her head practically buried in a cupboard.

"Good morning."

She jumped, slamming the cupboard door closed. "Remus! You scared me to death!"

Remus smiled wider. "Sorry. I didn't mean to. What are you looking for?"

"I wanted to make some tea," she said. "Unfortunately, I can't seem to find any." She paused to yawn hugely. "I could really use the caffeine."

"Here, let me help," Remus said, stepping closer to her. "Molly just arranged all the cupboards yesterday, so everything's in a different place now. But, I'm sure we can find some tea for you – I'd hate to have you sitting here without being fully caffeinated."

"Oh, sod off," Tonks said, yawning again.

"Language, Miss Tonks," Remus said with a chuckle.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "I'm sorry! Did that offend you? I never think before I speak, my mother's always yelling at me about it –"

"Tonks, calm down," Remus laughed. "I was kidding. I was a teacher, remember? Do you know how many times a day I heard that?"

She grinned. "What did you say to the students?"

"I told them that I thought they were intelligent enough to come up with better words."

Tonks laughed. "What did they say to that?"

"They'd usually come up with better words." He pulled a container of tea leaves from the cupboard. "Here it is."

"I'll bet you were a great teacher," Tonks said as Remus set the tea on the counter.

"I hope so," Remus said. He smiled. "I really loved it. I wish – " He stopped abruptly.

"Why didn't you take Dumbledore up on his offer, then? You can have the job back if you want it."

"There's a lot of reasons," Remus said dismissively. "For one, there's far too much to be done for the Order for me to take a teaching position."

"Dumbledore and McGonagall make it work."

"But they don't do as much field work as I do," Remus replied. He shook his head. "I'll do my Order work for now. Maybe someday, I'll be able to go back to teaching."

"Well, I wish that you had been my teacher," Tonks grinned. "I know I would have paid far more attention in class if you had been."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

Tonks flushed, realizing exactly how flirtatious her comment had been. "Nothing," she said quickly.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Remus, I –"

"Good morning."

They both looked up as the kitchen door opened and Sirius walked into the room. Tonks wanted to hug him for his timing. She couldn't believe that she had said that to Remus!

"Good morning," she said cheerfully. "Remus and I were just making some tea. Do you want some?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan," Sirius replied.

They were almost immediately joined by Arthur and Molly. Molly took over at the stove, heating the water for the tea, and chased the others into seats around the table.

"How was your duty, Tonks?" Arthur asked.

"Boring," she replied. "I'm actually more concerned about my actual job."

"What about it?" Remus asked, frowning slightly.

"I'm afraid that Scrimgeour is starting to suspect Kingsley and I of having other loyalties."

Any further statement she would have made was cut off by the kitchen door swinging open yet again. They all looked up as Harry appeared, looking utterly terrified.

"Breakfast," Molly said immediately, ushering Harry to the table.

Tonks helped Harry take a seat while Molly fired breakfast options at him. Remus watched Harry's face, knowing that the last thing he wanted was more attention. He looked back at Tonks.

"What were you saying about Scrimgeour?"

"Oh . . .," Tonks said, looking at though she was trying to remember her previous statement. "Yeah . . . well, we need to be more careful, he's been asking Kingsley and me funny questions . . ."

"Define 'funny,'" Sirius frowned.

"Well, some of it's small stuff – asking about what we're doing after work, or what we're doing on the weekends."

"Sounds like typical office conversation," Arthur frowned.

"Yeah, except that Scrimgeour has never been one for office conversation," Tonks said, yawning again. "He's there to work, not to socialize. He's made that abundantly clear. I think it's what made Moody respect him so much. I'm sure it's the reason he took over the department when Moody 'retired.'" She grinned as she air-quoted the last word. "Seriously, though, I think he suspects that we're up to something, and he wants to know what it is."

"I'll let Dumbledore know," Sirius promised.

They continued on about Order business until Arthur decided that he and Harry should go. Remus had to agree that it would be better for Harry to wait in Arthur's office than in the kitchen with all these people staring at him. After he had been thoroughly wished good luck, Harry and Arthur left the room.

Molly sighed as she cleared away Harry's dishes. "He barely touched his food."

"I think he's a bit too nervous to eat," Remus said.

"I can relate to that," Sirius said, idly stirring his tea. "I'm nervous enough to be the one in trouble with the Ministry."

"Don't say that," Remus said sharply. "You're close enough to 'trouble with the Ministry.' Don't wish it on yourself."

"I won't," Sirius promised.

The kitchen door opened yet again, and the other teenagers appeared.

"Has Harry gone?" Ron asked.

Molly nodded. "Dad took him to the Ministry about ten minutes ago."

Ron sighed as he dropped into a chair. "I wanted to tell him good luck again."

"He knows," Molly said. "Does anyone want some breakfast?"

Ron and the twins ate with ravenous appetites, but Hermione and Ginny merely picked at their food. Molly looked at them with concern.

"Girls, you need to eat," she said.

"I'm too worried about Harry," Hermione confessed.

"Me, too," Ginny agreed. She gave her brothers a look of disgust. "How can you eat knowing that Harry's going through this horrible hearing?"

Fred shrugged. "Just because Harry's a at hearing doesn't mean we have to starve ourselves. Really, he should be used to the feeling. He gets into more trouble than you, Ron and Hermione combined."

"Aren't you worried about him?" Ginny pressed.

"A bit," George replied. "But he always manages to talk himself out of trouble. I'm sure he'll be fine."

Ginny made a sound of disgust, and went back to sliding her food around on her plate.

The entire Order and Harry's friends breathed easy again once the charges were dropped. Despite everyone's not-so-calm assurances that the law was on Harry's side, that there was no way he'd actually be convicted, and that he would not have a bit of trouble at the hearing, Remus knew that he wasn't the only one who was extremely relieved by the verdict.

But he also knew that one person in particular wasn't extremely thrilled by it, either. Although his time in the house had become limited by the amount of time that he was assigned to missions and duties outside it, Remus could easily see that Sirius was quite despondent over Harry's impending departure. Remus knew that he adored his godson and would ever wish him harm, but he couldn't help feeling that Sirius would not have been entirely disappointed if the Ministry had expelled Harry from Hogwarts.

He wanted desperately to talk to his friend about this turn of events, but he simply did not have the time. The first opportunity that he had to speak with him did not lend itself to private conversation; nearly the entire Order was assembled to celebrate Ron's and Hermione's appointment as Gryffindor prefects.

"How does Harry feel about Ron and Hermione being prefects?" Remus asked Tonks in an undertone as they walked into the party.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to him," she replied. "Do you think he'll be upset?"

"He might be," Remus shrugged. "I can imagine he feels a little left out – they are his best friends, you know."

"I was thrilled not to be a prefect," she said. "I suppose the twins said it best – I was afraid it would suck the fun right out of my life."

Remus smiled, but remained silent.

Tonks's mouth fell open, and her cheeks flushed pink. "Oh, no. You were a prefect, weren't you?"

"I was," Remus smiled.

"Oh, Remus, I didn't mean anything by it! God, can I ever say the right thing?"

Remus laughed. "Stop thinking that you're offending me! I'm not that old, you know."

"I've never thought of you as old," she said emphatically. "Never. You're just – you seem so much more reserved than me. I'm never sure if I'm shocking you or not."

Remus grinned. "I've been friends with Sirius since I was eleven, and you think that I can still be shocked?"

Tonks laughed. "I suppose that's a good point."

"Come on, let's get some food."

Remus had to hand it to Molly – she knew how to throw a good party. He did overhear quite a few conversations speculating on Dumbledore's choice of Ron for prefect over Harry, but tried to stay away from them. He didn't fully understand Dumbledore's reasons himself, but was sure that it had to do with the prophecy and with Harry's continued position as Voldemort's number one target.

The party was winding down when Molly left the room to deal with the boggart that had found its way into the house. Remus watched as Harry left the room soon after her, clearly through with celebrating his friends' good fortune.

"Where's Harry going?" Sirius asked, crossing to join Remus.

"I think he's had enough partying," Remus replied.

Sirius shook his head. "He seems a bit upset about not being a prefect, doesn't he?" He gave Remus a teasing smile. "Not that I can think of any reason why anyone would actually want to be a prefect . . ."

Remus laughed. "I know that you and James were secretly jealous of me all those years."

"Until James became Head Boy."

"Yes, until then." He grinned. "But I know that you were still jealous."

"Yeah –"

The rest of Sirius's statement was cut off by the sound of Harry screaming something. Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance and took off up the stairs. The uneven steps behind them told them that Moody, too, was rushing to Harry's side.

They followed the sound of Harry's voice until they found him with Molly, who was crying. As Remus looked around the room, his eyes fell on Harry's dead body on the floor. Understanding dawned; he took out his wand and quickly banished the boggart.

That was the easy part; comforting Molly took some time. Remus finally convinced her to go back to the party and spend some time with her family. Moody accompanied her; Remus hoped that he wasn't telling terrifying stories from the first war. He looked at Harry, who was still standing uncertainly in the room.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah," Harry replied. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I can imagine that it would be a bit disconcerting to see your dead body on the floor in front of you."

Harry shook his head. "It was just a boggart, Professor."

Remus looked at him sadly. "You're sure you're all right?"

"Yes. I'm just going to go to bed."

"Good night, then."

"Good night."

Harry started to leave the room, but Sirius stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Harry looked up at him quizzically.

"Sirius?"

Sirius looked down at him for several moments, squeezing his shoulder tightly. He looked as though he wanted to say something to his godson, but could not find the words. Finally, he released him, letting Harry leave the room.

"Are you all right?" Remus asked Sirius once Harry was gone.

"Oh, yeah," Sirius said sarcastically. "Just great. Peachy, in fact. My greatest joy in life is seeing my godson's dead body on the floor."

"It was just a boggart, Sirius."

"Just a boggart?" Sirius asked, his voice just above a whisper, his eyes over-bright. "No, Remus, it was far more than just a boggart." He paused. "I would think that you would feel the same way, since you were such good friends with his father."

"His father?" Remus repeated. "Sirius, what on earth does James have to do with this?"

"James has everything to do with this!" Sirius exclaimed. He paced around for several moments, then turned to look at Remus again. Remus was shocked to see the tears that stood in his friend's eyes.

"Sirius," he said slowly.

"James has everything to do with everything where Harry is concerned," Sirius said. "Maybe . . . Remus, maybe Molly is right. Maybe I do see Harry as James. I don't know. All I do know is that it was my job to keep James safe. Mine. And I handed that responsibility over to Peter without thinking – without knowing . . ."

"Sirius, how could you know?" Remus asked quietly. "You trusted Peter, of course you trusted Peter, we all did – none of us ever thought that he could be a spy – the spy –"

"I should have known," Sirius said, his voice cracking. "James and Lily trusted me to keep them safe. We sat in my flat and they both told me that. They told me that they trusted me with their lives. And I told them that I would die for them. Well, Remus, here I am. I'm still living, and they're both dead. I might not be able to go outside, but I'm here, in this house, alive and talking to you, while they're both buried in Godric's Hollow. They trusted me with their lives, and I failed them."

"Sirius, you didn't kill them," Remus said firmly.

"But I did," Sirius said fiercely. "I couldn't save their lives, even though I promised that I would. But, I also promised that I'd do everything in my power to keep Harry safe. I swore to them that I'd defend him as long as I lived." A single tear rolled down his cheek. "Remus, I couldn't save James after I swore that I would. For the first time in my life, I broke a promise that I made to him. I can't break another. I have to save his son. I have to keep Harry alive and happy and healthy, even if it means risking my own freedom. Even if it means risking my own life."

Remus's breath caught in his throat. He had never realized how strongly Sirius felt about Harry, or how much guilt he still struggled with over James and Lily's deaths. He had never known . . . so many things.

"I'll help you," he said at last. "I'll do anything I can to help you keep your promise to James and Lily."

Sirius drew a deep breath. "Thank you," he said softly.

"You're welcome," Remus replied, his own voice just as soft.

Sirius drew another raspy breath. "Molly's boggart – Remus, mine would be the same. I'd see Harry's dead body. Sometimes, I have nightmares that he's dead, that I'm standing at his grave, that . . . that I've let James down again. And I can't do that. I can't. I'd – I'd never be able to live with myself. I have to save him this time."

Looking into Sirius's eyes, Remus could not find the words to reply. He reached across and pulled Sirius into a brotherly embrace, comforting him as he had comforted Molly only moments before. Sirius clung to him, struggling to contain the sobs that wanted to tear from his throat. He screwed his eyes shut only to see again the haunting images of James and Lily's bodies lying among the mangled wreckage of their house. A sob escaped, followed by another and another until he was sobbing hysterically.

Remus held him tightly, but remained silent. For perhaps the first time since that horrible night, Sirius was allowing himself to feel the grief of losing the man he had considered a brother for so many years. After several moments, Sirius managed to calm down until only the occasional sob racked his frame.

"We'll keep him safe, Sirius," Remus whispered, still keeping his arms locked around his friend. "We'll keep your promise to James. No matter what happens, we'll keep Harry safe."