Spoilers: Through Scars and Souvenirs eventually, but for this chapter up to 2x20 (Band-aid Covers the Bullet Hole)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
Author's note: Just so we're clear, in this fic, the official ABC "Nurse Debbie's blog" doesn't exist. In Part 1, I referenced some things mentioned on the blog because I'm trying to make this really jive with the canon, but the blog itself does not exist for this fic, mmkay?
Like all movements, all they needed to bring a good idea to fruition was a group of highly motivated, like-minded people. When Tyler and Olivia floated the idea of Sex Bingo to Debbie, she immediately latched on to the idea and announced to the other nurses that in lieu of another office pool for whether George's stay at Burke and Cristina's place would lead to Cristina and Burke breaking up, she would be cooking up something new and exciting for them instead.
Of course Debbie had to be all mysterious and secretive about it because she wanted to make it a surprise, so it was only a matter of time before Liz figured out what they were up to with those damn lip reading skills of hers and told Nurse Kate. But, Kate and Liz were the best sources of gossip outside of Debbie anyway, so they invited them in the planning. To avoid attracting more eavesdroppers, they agreed to hold their first meeting over lunch outside the hospital. Thus the official MAGIC Bingo committee was formed. Their numbers were small, but as Margaret Mead once said "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." And so it was from their very first meeting.
"So how exactly is this going to work?" Debbie asked, before biting into her sandwich.
"Same rules as regular bingo apply. Each square has a randomly generated pairing. First person to make a straight line out of successful couplings, past or present, wins," Tyler said.
Liz slapped his hand away from her chips. "That might be too easy though. We're going to burn through a couple games, and it'll get boring after a while."
"That or we'll fill up the cards too quickly with valid pairings. Grey alone has slept with half of Seattle," Kate snarked.
"Hey!" Olivia scolded.
"What? It's true. You said so yourself."
"You say it like having a lot of sex is a bad thing. I don't like that George got hurt, but Dr. Shepherd really did a number on Meredith. If being slutty is how she deals, that's her own business."
"You realize we are making a game out of other people's sex lives," Tyler pointed out.
"Yes, but we're not judging them. We're just…talking about them like we would be doing anyway and keeping track of the musical beds in a really fun way," she said firmly.
"We do work with these people," Liz agreed. "Even though we're having a little fun, there's a line that we shouldn't cross."
"Fine. So where is that line?"
"Don't say anything you wouldn't want someone else to say about you?" Tyler suggested.
Debbie snorted. "Well, look whose mother taught him so well."
"Everything I know I learned in kindergarten," he winked.
"So we're agreed," Olivia continued, "ground rule number one: no judging or mocking the members on the card."
"Actually the first rule should be that no one talks about MAGIC Bingo at the hospital. If the Nazi finds out about this, we're toast."
"Right. We catch anyone talking about it, they lose their bingo privileges forever, no money back."
"How much should each card be?"
"How many cards can we make?"
Tyler tapped his chin. "Depends on how many people we can come up with for the list."
"Who do we have?"
"Well, you have to have Meredith, Alex, George, Izzie, and Cristina on the list since they're the MAGIC of MAGIC Bingo," Olivia listed. "We add in everyone that they've slept with-"
"-that we've seen in the hospital. They have to have been to the hospital, otherwise there's no point." Debbie interjected.
"Fair enough. So Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Burke-"
"Don't forget you, Olivia," Kate added.
"What? No! I don't want to be on the grid."
"It is only fair," Tyler agreed. "Everyone knows you've slept with Karev and O'Malley after that fight in the locker room."
"If I'm paired with somebody on a space on the grid, people might say that I could work a card to my advantage. Not that I would, but they might say it's unfair and then I don't get to play," she countered.
Liz shrugged. "Then we'll make it so the only time you will show up on the grid is with George or with Alex."
"Besides, it's all for fun, remember?" Debbie taunted.
"I hate you all."
"Think of it as closure," Tyler suggested.
"I'm already over it," she shot back.
"Then you shouldn't have a problem with it. It's water under the bridge."
Olivia grumbled. "Fine."
"Who else?"
The group grew thoughtful as they considered who else was eligible. With the rules they had just imposed, it was a lot harder to come up with possible candidates than they had originally thought.
"There was that one patient whose penis Meredith broke," Olivia finally blurted out.
"Okay, but we should apply the your rules to him and only pair him with Grey on the grid."
"We should add people whom we think they might hook up with, too."
"Like Dr. Torres."
"Oh yeah, she and O'Malley are definitely headed in that direction. Apparently he hasn't called her back yet, but they're flirting like it's their job. You should have seen them the other day."
"Have you seen his new haircut?"
"Oh my god, yes. It's absolutely tragic. It looks like someone took a weedwhacker to his head. I mean, yeah, he totally needed to ditch the shaggy hair look because that wasn't working for him either, but please, spend the ten dollars and go to Supercuts.
"You know, he only grew out his hair so he could look like McDreamy. I guess when Meredith dumped him, he decided the look had to go."
"Please, like he could go anywhere near the Curls of Wonder. Which, have you McDreamy's hair lately? I think he got it cut recently because it doesn't look as shapeless and floppy as it has been of late."
"Yeah, it looks much better and sharper and in place. And I think he might have added highlights."
"Ladies!…And Tyler!" Debbie interrupted. "Focus. Or we'll be here all day."
"You should add Denny Duquette to the list," Kate said after a pause. "I saw Stevens flirting with him again two days ago."
"A patient? No way. Even Stevens wouldn't cross that line."
"Well, even if it probably won't happen, there's potential and we need more names."
"I thought you said she and Karev were together."
"As far as I know, the sex in the supply closet is still going on, but I could see Denny giving Karev a run for his money. Denny flirts pretty shamelessly with her and he definitely has a huge crush on her."
"He is pretty charming, and there's that cute semi-Southern drawl he has. I wouldn't put it past Stevens to fall for him.
"Izzie does get awfully attached to her patients," Olivia admitted. "Do you remember what happened with Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd and the quints?"
"Hey, speaking of which, are we adding her to the list?"
"Well she's not sleeping with one of the interns, but she is married to McDreamy and if we put her in then someone could win with a McDreamy-Addison combination."
"Ooooh, what about McSteamy?"
"Dr. Sloan?"
"He did show up at the hospital, which makes him eligible. And with the state of the Shepherd marriage and the fact that he came all the way over from New York to win back Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, there's potential that they could get back together."
"Yeah but what are the chances that he's coming back? Even if the Shepherds end up divorcing, she'll probably go back to New York, not vice versa, so we'll never know."
"Plus, that's too far removed from Bailey's interns. It's MAGIC Bingo. We have to cap it somewhere."
"How about, they have to have slept or be actively sleeping with the MAGIC five by at least two degrees to be on the list?"
"So yes to Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd and no Dr. Sloan, then. That's Meredith, Alex, George, Izzie, Cristina, Burke, the Shepherds, Olivia, Broken Penis Guy, Dr. Torres, and Denny Duquette," Tyler listed. "That brings our total to twelve people. It should be enough to make a lot of combinations as long as we mix up the configurations, I think."
"How are you combining them again?"
"I'm just going to use one of those random generators you can get online and feed the names through. Well, except in the cases of Olivia and Broken Penis Guy."
"What if they come out as same sex combinations? I don't think anyone on that list is gay."
"Well, it'd be just as random as if you got, say, an Alex / Addison square. You know they'd never together in a million years, but we need spaces that are like that to make it harder to win, right?"
"Plus, you never know with this group."
"Especially if you get alcohol in their system."
"By the way, we should institute a no interference rule."
"Definitely. It's as much for the sake of preserving our jobs as it is for the game, anyway."
"So, are we cool with all this?"
"I still think it might be too easy to win," Liz said. "Let's bump it up to two lines to win."
"And at least three pairs have to be currently sleeping together," Olivia added.
"Yeah but now it's too hard. No one's ever going to win."
"The point of this isn't to win, really. It's just to make our gossip sessions more fun."
"Besides, these are Bailey's interns, remember? Even if it takes a lot of time, someone will win eventually."
"True."
"We did say we wanted the game to go for a long time."
"Okay. Let's do it."
"Excellent," Tyler said, rubbing his hands together with excitement. "Debbie, since you and Liz usually organize the office pools, you two should get the sign-up sheet started. Kate, if I find you a online random generator, can you make the cards?"
"Sure, no problem."
"Olivia, you take care of typing up the rules."
"What about you?"
"I'm going to take care of making sure that no one ever finds out about our Bingo game. If anyone on the grid or worse, if the Nazi finds out, our ass is grass."
"What do you have planned?" Kate asked.
"You'll see."
Olivia shot him a skeptical look. "Uh-huh."
"If that's everything, I officially call this meeting to a close," he declared, ignoring her, and banged his empty soda can like a gavel.
"Tyler, I think you're getting way too excited about this official committee business."
"Let him have his fun, Debbie. It's the only time he's ever been allowed to be in charge of anything," Liz teased.
"I hate you all," he muttered.
"See, he can't even be original enough to come up with his own lines!"
"You mock me now, but wait until you see my plan to keep Bailey from finding out about all this. Then you'll be thanking me for saving all our asses from the Nazi."
Debbie just smiled at him and patted him on the head like a little child.
Things progressed quickly after that first auspicious meeting, and although they didn't know it at the time, they were about to change gossip circuit at Seattle Grace forever because Tyler's plan, as it turned out, was pretty genius. To avoid cards floating around and finding their ways into the hands of people like the Nazi, he proposed that they put the entire operation online. Tyler set up a ghost account, bought the a domain name and signed up for a so the money transactions were secure, online, and most of all, away from the watchful eyes at Seattle Grace. Debbie and Liz discreetly spread the word that people who wanted to participate in "a fun bingo game" should to send an email request to webmaster (at) magicbingo (dot) com. and to wait for further instructions. There was still some debate over the ground rules, but they hammered it out pretty quickly and soon everything was set.
By the end of the week, the website was already live.
TBC
End note: For some reason, this site won't allow me to add in email addresses or symbols, so I had to type it out. Sorry. Blame fanfiction (dot) net. Anyway, magicbingo (dot) com does exist on the Internet, but it is not affiliated with this fic at all. And 'Curls of Wonder' is taken from the Turtlenecks and Hair thread over at TWOP. I am fully indebted to that thread as it has actually helped me set the tone of the nurses' gossip.