Spoilers: Through Scars and Souvenirs eventually, but for this chapter, up to 17 Seconds
Rating: PG for language
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
Author's note: I'm expanding this fic to a 5 parter because I decided Joe needed to be in on this as well. And as a reminder, Magicbingo (dot) com does exist on the Internet, however it is not affiliated with this fic. It really is an online gambling website. (Again, sorry for the (dot) part. Dumb ff (dot) net.) Also don't forget that while I do reference the canon from the Nurses' blog, the actual blog does not exist in this fic. Once again, thank you for all feedback.
Seattle Grace M.A.G.I.C. Bingo
Welcome to the official website for Seattle Grace Hospital's MAGIC Bingo. If you are reading this, then that means that you've successfully found our secret site and your userID and password work. Congratulations. We knew you could do it. After all, you do save lives on a regular basis. Here are the ground rules.
Rule 1: The first rule of MAGIC Bingo is you do not talk about MAGIC Bingo. Violate this rule and you lose your bingo privileges forever. MAGIC Bingo is like Fight Club. Exchange BIG gossip all you want, but do not reference the game at work. This is for your protection as much as it is for ours. The Nazi finds out about this, she'll kick our collective ass and then some.
Rule 2: No, seriously, you do not talk about MAGIC Bingo. We recommend that you don't print out your MAGIC cards at all. The message board is there for so you don't have to remember everything when you update your cards outside of work, but if you do choose update them at work, you do it at your own risk. If you get caught, we will deny everything, including even knowing you.
Rule 3: No mocking or judging of the people on the grid. This is all in good fun, so be nice. It could be you on the grid next time we play. We catch any player making inappropriate comments, and you're on probation. Do it again and you're out.
Rule 4: Each square has one pairing. The goal is to make two straight lines out of successful couplings, past or present. In order to win, at least three relationships in the lines have to be current. First person to print out and email in a valid MAGIC card to webmaster (at) MAGICbingo (dot) com wins the pot.
Rule 5: If there is any question about the validity of a pairing, you have to be ready to produce someone else to corroborate your story so everyone knows you're not making it up. (not like it's hard when people are shouting about it in the stairwells, punching each other out, and making out at Joe's.) We will be doing the judging. Our decision is final.
Rule 6: Do not share your password or ID with anyone. Your ID is how we keep track of who owns what card, how many you have ordered and more importantly, it has your credit card information for the . Sharing your ID information is like giving someone free license with your credit card.
Rule 7: Two dollars buys you one card. Just click on the link and we'll credit it to your ID account.
Rule 8: No exchanging cards. We don't want to deal with arguments over owned the winning card first. You don't like your card, buy a new one.
Rule 9: No interference allowed. If a grid member asks you for information, that's fine. You can tell them what you know, but no dropping hints or nudging them in the direction of hooking up or breaking up with someone so you can get that square on your card, no telling lies or spreading false gossip, or absolutely no buying Meredith tequila shots so she'll get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men.
Rule 10: Share your information. The point of this is not the money. It's to make our weekly gossip sessions more fun. So don't keep all the news to yourself because we'll all find out eventually and you'll just end up lonely and alone, while the rest of us have fun. By sharing in the BIG gossip, we all win.
Kate whistled as she scrolled through the home page of the website. "Damn Tyler. This is a real production. When did you have time to do all this?"
"My girlfriend set up the website," he grinned. "It's great, isn't it?"
"I'm confused. Why does it looks like it's a website for a casino?" Olivia asked.
"See, that's the beauty of it," Tyler explained excitedly. "Anyone who finds it will think it's a website for online gambling. But if you click on this dice right here," he pointed at the screen, "you get sent to a login page. You can't access the real site unless you log on with a matching ID and password that we give out."
"So, not only do you have to have a password and ID provided by us, you have to know how to navigate to the real site?" Debbie asked.
"Exactly. I've already drafted the email of instructions to send to the members along with their respective IDs and passwords. It's just another precaution in case someone slips and someone we don't want accessing the site decides to google it."
"You've even set up a message board?" Olivia said incredulously.
"Well, I figured that we can't print out our cards and we don't want people checking the website at work, but some of us have a harder time keeping track of things and remembering everything all the time. So I set up this message board. People post anonymously what they've seen and heard. If on the off chance someone does find this board, it's separate from the site and no one is implicated."
"This is going to make it a lot easier for Debbie and I to confirm and debunk rumors if we know what's out there too."
"This has got to be the most organized form of office gossip on the face of the earth."
"You had to make this an elaborate operation, didn't you? You couldn't have just made it like a regular office pool."
"It's part of the fun," Tyler argued. "The fact that it's underground and mysterious and secret is what makes MAGIC Bingo…magical."
"Whatever. You're just really scared of Bailey."
"Damn straight I am."
"Moving on. Are all the cards ready?" Debbie asked.
"Yup," Kate answered. "Since Tyler here was so busy with this, I wrangled my cousin who goes to CalTech to make me a program that randomly generates combinations and configurations with no repeats. All I have to do is send the names through and we'll have our grids. It even numbers each card so it's easier to keep track of the who gets what card."
"And the and stuff?"
"All set. We are ready to send out the mass email and start the first round," he announced. "Shall I do the honors?"
The other nurses smiled and nodded. Tyler clapped his hands together, and with a deep breath, he clicked the button.
Within twenty-four hours of the email being sent, the website had 732 hits and they had sold 56 cards. On the day that Liz had confirmed that Meredith had in fact told McDreamy that she had sex with George, the membership had expanded beyond the surgical nursing staff. Although no one would admit to knowing what MAGIC bingo was about when asked, the member list kept growing. By the time Debbie reported that she had just seen Izzie Stevens kissing Denny, they had lost track of exactly which department each member was from, but they were certain that their members weren't just nurses any more. The anesthesiologists and the MRI guys had joined in, as had some interns and residents, and even one guy from human resources.
In short, MAGIC Bingo was a bonafide hit.
None of them expected people to buy more than two or three cards, but the numbers were through the roof. This popularity was both a blessing and a curse though, as they soon found out two weeks into the first round.
"Tyler, put the damn laptop away. We're at a bar for god's sake."
I don't care," he said defiantly. "A family- Hey Joe! Can we get another round here?- A family just lost their daughter, wife, and mother all in one day, it turns out that the patient responsible was a doctor, and we had to deal with the Triangle of Death today. Today has sucked and I need something to remind me that there are still things that are stupidly funny and silly and happy in the world."
Yeah, it's been a really rough day," Olivia agreed. "I've never had a patient who's been left open like that. It was like they just saran-wrapped her closed until they could figure out what to do with her. Have any of you guys ever seen that before?"
The women shook their heads and sat in quiet contemplation over the day's sad events while Tyler clicked at the computer.
"Hmm," Tyler frowned. "That can't be right."
"What is it, Tyler? The boards say something new about on going saga of Burke and Cristina?
"Well, yeah, apparently they're having problems because she fell asleep in the middle of having sex," he waved his hand vaguely, "but that's not what I'm looking at."
"What is it?"
"Well, I was checking the , and according to this, so far the pot is at $784."
"Holy crap. How many cards are people buying?"
"Do we even have that many cards?"
Kate shook her head. "I've been meaning to mention that. We're running out, guys. And it doesn't look like people are showing any signs of stopping. Every time there's a new development, we get a spike in card purchases. We need to figure out a way to make more cards, fast."
"What if we added the McVet Meredith and Cristina were talking about?" Liz suggested.
"Oh, I have the scoop on that, by the way," Debbie said. "Dr. Danridge is my vet too, and word in the office is, things are definitely progressing. Apparently, he's cooking dinner for her tonight.
"Well, McDreamy definitely isn't taking it well. Did you hear them going at in the stairwell? He actually called her a whore."
"Meredith and McVet haven't slept together," Joe cut in, bringing over their drinks. "So you should post that on your message board."
"How do you know about the message board?" Liz asked suspiciously.
"Guys, who do you think debunks half the rumors around here? People come in here with Bingo cards all the time asking me for information." Joe watched as the nurses exchanged nervous glances. "Relax, I'm not going to say anything. I'm a bartender. It's my job to keep secrets."
"You just volunteered that Meredith and McVet aren't sleeping together, though," Olvia pointed out.
"That's because it was a lie. I don't see any problem in stopping the spread of false rumors. Especially since she was talking really loudly about it the other day."
"Joe's bar should still be as off limits as the hospital," Tyler said. "They come here too often."
"Agreed."
"So, if they haven't slept together, we should totally add in McVet."
"Yeah but that is just one more pairing. We need more."
"Not if we don't apply the Olivia rules to him. I say we take away the Olivia rules from Denny and McVet to add in more random pairings. That'll generate more configurations."
"But if we change the rules, everyone is going to buy a new card and we'll be back to where we started."
"Maybe we should put a limit on the number of cards you can buy. Let's say, a nice round number of ten. Who has bought the most number of cards so far?"
Tyler scrolled down the list. "That would be….Dr. Savoy with….whoa, nine cards."
"He must really want to win" Joe chuckled.
"Damn, it's a doctor. He's not going to take it well if we put the cap at ten and he can only buy one new card," Kate complained.
"Okay, we add in McVet, and put the cap at ten, but we tell him that he, and only he, has the option of trading in one of his old cards for a new one. That seems pretty fair."
"I can't see anyone spending more than $20 on Bailey's interns," Joe added.
"Well, at two dollars apiece, it doesn't seem much. But it does add up together in the end."
"It's a lot like crack, really," Olivia said thoughtfully.
Everyone laughed in agreement and downed their shot glasses.
In the end, Dr. Savoy made a huge stink about the new cards, but he couldn't really do anything about it since the committee was unanimous about their decision. As predicted, everyone did buy one or two new cards with McVet on them, but with Denny and McVet now in the mix, the new combinations generated enough cards for the game to continue on. Olivia had been absolutely right. M.A.G.I.C. Bingo Fever was more than just a popular movement; it was a hospital wide addiction.
And just like crack, they would use it as escape from the reality around them when the proverbial shite hit the fan, beginning with the shooting of Preston Burke.
TBC