Prompt: Hey, can can you do a Hi Solotiski imagine where he and the reader share a first kiss?
Response: My little head canon… Not a reader insert, please forgive.
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"So, how was the concert?" Tory asked after Ella settled.
"Depends on what you define as a concert," Ella huffed.
"I mean, a concert is a concert," Hiram said.
"I honestly need a reality check. What, pray tell, is the definition of a concert? Like a date-worthy concert," Ella gasped in an exaggerated whine.
"Um, well, I would say it's the playing of music to a live audience by either a band, or singer, or symphony, or I guess a DJ. You know, a gig," Shelton said.
"Like, you'd expect professionals, though? At least garage-band level of music, right?" Ella asked.
"Um, yeah. Why?" Shelton said.
"Thank you for confirming that I'm not crazy."
"So, not a concert?" Tory asked.
"It was a recital, Tory. A damned recital for the kids he teaches lessons to. I'm not heartless, some cute kids up there, but oh-my-God! There were recorders!"
"Ouch, painful," Shelton squirmed.
"That's gotta be like your fourth bad date in a row."
"It must be impossible for guys our age to think of good dates."
"You're just not picking the right guy. I could plan the best date you've ever been on and not even break a sweat," Hiram boasted.
"Sure ya could, Hi," Tory rolled her eyes.
"It's not that hard." Hiram insisted.
"Then do it! I'll give you five minutes to think about it and come up with your answer." Shelton challenged.
"I don't even need five minutes. I have a three step process."
"You have a process? For dates?" Tory snickered.
"Watch. Step one, know your subject. Ella, for example, is the type of girl that gets out and does stuff. Not a homebody, a girl for some adventure. Step two, take note of the local offerings. For instance, there's a carnival and art fair in the park down town that opens Friday evening a perfect fit for an outgoing lady. Step three, be prompt. Set a time that ensures a good pace to accomplish all the goals but with enough room for spontaneity."
"Yeah, but that's not actually the date, is it? That's all you have planned?" Shelton asked.
"Oh, you want the play by play, fine. I would show up at six which offers the optimal timing for a girl to get home, relax a little, and still get ready. We'd walk through down town. It's about twenty minutes and gives a good opportunity for ice breakers and strategic questions about what a girl wants to see at the fair. And when we get there, use that intel to guide her to the appropriate food cart selections.
"After a light meal, it's off to the fair to see the vendors before it gets dark. Art is better in natural lighting, after all. And, then, when the lights start coming on and the carnival rides open up, I'd win her some prizes and we'd share some ride. Then a bit of dessert: elephant ears, cotton candy, what ever she desires, no limits.
"Now, curfew, it can sneak up on you. So I'd set an alarm and get her walking back home about thirty minutes early so there should still be ten minutes for chit-chat on her front step. Boom, date over. Best night of the summer courtesy of Hiram Stolowitski."
He ended with a firm hand slap on the table and a satisfied head nod.
"Wow, actually, not bad, Hi. Good work," Tory said.
"Well, sort of," Ella considered.
"Come on, tell me that's not a thousand times better than kids music recital," Hiram sought the credit he deserved.
"I mean, obviously it's like a million times better. Except one thing."
"What? What could be better?"
"I can't be ready before six-thirty. I have a couple chapters to read for English," Ella smiled.
"Okay, fine. Six-thirty. That's barely even an amendment. Admit it, it's the perfect date."
"I hope so. Oh, I have to run some transcript requests by the office. So I'll have to catch you guys later. Don't forget, HI, six-thirty." She beamed while making her exit.
Hiram looked at Tory, then at Shelton who was starting to laugh nervously.
"Wait… is she serious?" Hiram asked.
"Uh, yeah. I think so," Tory mused.
"Wait… wait! Did Ella just agree to go on a date with me?"
Shelton pulled a sad smile and tilted his head while he shrugged. "Look, she's a friend. She was probably already planning on going to the fair. I mean, it's Ella."
"And? You don't think I can get a girl like Ella?"
"I hate to say it, but she's a bit out of our league, buddy." Shelton said.
"Tory?"
"I don't know, Hiram, she usually does date a different sort of guy. I mean, she sort of likes being the smart one in the relationship," Tory said.
"But, should I go meet her at six-thirty?" Hiram looked to his friends for help and got shrugs in response.
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"I am an idiot. Fool. Moron," Hiram belittled himself as he walked to Ella's house from the cafe where he'd passed his afternoon. "I'm a friend. If she's not expecting me then… well, I was just on my way and thought I'd see if she actually wanted to go. We did talk about it. Am I crazy? I'm talking to myself like I'm crazy." He grumbled through the gate and up the driveway to the castle that was her family home.
He rang the doorbell and waited.
"Oh, hey Hiram. Nice to see you." Ella's mother smiled as she answered. Without waiting a beat she called behind her, "Ella! Hiram's here!"
"Okay, okay, I'm coming."
Hiram's pulse picked up. Ella sounded excited, not mystified, maybe this was actually a thing.
"Hey, Hi!" She quickly pushed past him and away from the house. "See you later, mom."
He followed her out to the street and down the sidewalk a ways while the awkward tension grew inside of him. The silence stretched and the longer it went on the less he felt able to say anything. Ella looked cute, super cute, in a long tanktop and short, short shorts. Even her grey Keds screamed, "cute!"
"So, where's those probing questions?"
Ella smiled like there was nothing odd about the two of them being alone together without Tory or Shelton or another one of their friends. Hiram realized, it was the first time he'd ever been alone with Ella. And she beamed like it was any other afternoon. Reality crashed in on him. To her, it was just like any other afternoon. A day out with friends – she had so many – and all of her stopped screaming, "cute" and started conveying, "nothing to see here, just a couple friends out for a walk" which all at once made it easier to be himself and also sent a pang of disapointment through him.
Hiram was used to disapointment when it came to girls. So Hiram did what he was best at and decided to make the best of his usual situation. Ella, and this night, could be one real-life practice session for his real first first-date. Hiram donned his smile and thrust out his elbow.
"Well, Ella, I believe I promised the very best a food cart could offer. Any personal favorites you're hoping to see?"
And off to the fair they went.
Stop one: Indian street foods for spicy somosas. Hiram paid and they shared the dipping sauce.
Stop two: sliders and fried pickles. Ella reinforced reality when she insisted she'd pay.
Stop three: a slow paced tour up and down the art vendors where Ella paid particular attention to African-inspired art and pottery stalls. Hiram loved how she gravitated towards orange. Her skin took on the glowing hues of the sunset and her eyes came alive.
When the lights began to flicker on and the music from the carnival started, Ella was keen to cheer him on as he tossed rings and missed milk jugs with softballs and never even came close to winning a prize. She didn't want to ride the Ferris Wheel when it was still light–or, at all, he filled in the unspoken for her–but they did spin until they were almost sick and fly side by sides on the chain swings.
"Hey, Hiram, you never asked me when my curfew is."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot. I guess that means it's soon?"
"Well, we have about enough time to grab an elephant ear and then I have to head back. How are you getting home?"
Hiram stopped still in his tracks. The perfect date planned just for Ella and he forgot that one little detail. He looked at his watch. The last ferry left over thirty minutes earlier.
"Do you need a ride?"
"No, no. I'll call my dad. I don't want you to get in trouble."
"I'm sure my parents will let me drive you back. Come on, never hurts to ask, right?"
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"Morris Island, what is that? Forty minutes?"
"Thirty, each way…" Hiram added. "It's no problem. My dad will come snag me from the cafe in town."
"Please, mom? Just one night, I swear I'll be home by midnight."
"Okay, fine. But you call me on your drive home so I can talk to you. I don't want you falling asleep at the wheel, okay?" Her mother agreed.
Hiram had never been in Ella's car. He and Shelton were almost always relegated to riding with Ben and generally Ella met them where ever they were going. So he couldn't help but exclaim when he slid into her Audi.
"Wow, mood lighting? LED light-tubes? Is that real wood?"
Ella laughed and pushed a few buttons so the lighting changed colors. "Red? Blue? Green?"
"You know, when your eye sees blue light it interprets it as the sky and it causes your brain to send a wake-up signal through your body?"
"Blue it is." she turned on the radio and quizzed him on music. While he had opinions, they were heavily influenced by Ben's preferences for metal and moody alternative bands from the early ninties. They listened to Pearl Jam and Sleeter Kenny among others on the oldies station. He even sang at the top of his lungs, and badly, to "Jeremy." Ella laughed herself to tears.
She pulled into the condo parking lot and Hirem popped his car door and turned to tell her thanks for the ride, but she was already getting out.
"Need a stretch?" He aksed.
"Yeah, some fresh air. You know, it's a full moon. I've never been out here at night on a full moon. Can we go by the beach? I love the ocean on nights like this."
"Oh, sure, this way, my-lady."
He motioned her on down the path and towards the ebbing waves. The tide was on it's way out and the shells glistened like dim candles. She eased down onto her bottom and drew her legs up.
"This has been really, really fun, Hi."
"Yeah, sure was." That gnawing ache came back through his chest.
"Come on, sit for a second." She patted the sand. He half-fell, none too graceful. "You sure know what makes a good first date."
"Thanks,' he half grumbled.
"What would a second be like?"
Hiram laughed, mirthless and gloomy. "Maybe I should open a consulting business: Custom Dates."
"Well then, are you a kiss on the first-date sort of guy or a wait until the second?" She nudged him, seemingly missing his joke.
"Well, I'm a never had a first-date kinda guy. So I guess I would recommend snagging a kiss when ever you can. Seems like only fools would wait for a sec–"
Ella's hand pulled his chin and she lurched up on her knees to find his lips. Hiram, frozen solid, blubbered, "Uh, uh… um…"
Ella pinched her lips together, the moon highlighting the smoothness of her skin and the fine feathers of her bangs that flared around her head. Hiram's body compelled him forward and swiftly followed his first kiss with a not-as gentle second. And a third. And a fourth.
And then, her phone rang.
"Oh, it's my mom. I should go."
"Yeah, of course," Hiram collected himself, heaving himself up and offering her a hand.
Even when she was on her feet, she didn't let his hand go. Her fingers squeezed tight all the way to the car.
"Hiram, that was a really, really great first date. Can I plan the next one?"
"Oh, yeah, of course. I mean… what ever you want!" He grinned from ear to ear.
She blushed. Hiram Stolowitski made Ella blush.