"Lemmie get this straight," said Amethyst, "Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gems, Steven's mom...was actually PINK DIAMOND?!"
Steven explained to the others what he and the Yellow Diamond saw, "She faked her own shattering, and reformed to be Rose all the time."
"Pink Diamond's final command to me was that no one could know," explained Pearl, "But now that Steven and Yellow Diamond do, I can finally tell you all everything!"
Amethyst unable to take it all in at once was one thing. Garnet felt worse, she split into Ruby and Sapphire. They have been lied to. Sapphire's future vision failed her, she ran toward the warp pad and disappeared. Steven looked at Ruby, then up at the Yellow Diamond.
"Um...I think I'm gonna need some time to myself," she said.
She sat in her ship for the rest of the day, while Steven did some other awesome stuff or whatever he had to do (Y'know what, go watch the show). In a fetal position, the Yellow Diamond could do nothing but let it sink in. Hard. Rose Quartz was the Pink Diamond. The Pink Diamond was Rose Quartz. The Pink Diamond was one of them, a Crystal Gem. Perhaps this wouldn't have happened if the Yellow Diamond was nicer to her back in the day. She could remember one moment very vividly.
The Yellow Diamond sat in her throne, tapping on the screens of her console. The Pink Diamond showed up beside her.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm commanding the dropships to colonize this planet," said the Yellow Diamond, reserved.
"Can I command a dropship?"
"When you have your own colony."
"I want a colony!"
The Pink Diamond reached forward, trying to touch the screen, but the Yellow Diamond just pushed her away.
"You have so many worlds and I don't even have one! It's not fair! I want a colony! I want an army! I want my own planet! I'm just as important as you!"
Then the Yellow Diamond finally lost it.
"Then why don't you act like it, Pink?!"
All the Rose Quartzes back on the Homeworld were bubbled for nothing. The only reason the Diamonds wanted to blow up Earth in the first place was to avenge the Pink Diamond, and now they can't even do that, because Steven is, technically, the Pink Diamond. It was clear to her that the bet she made with Steven on Sunday was now nullified. The Pink Diamond is, in a way, still with them, and there's no reason to blow up the Earth anymore. But even if it was going to be destroyed, she wouldn't know how to do it, because Steven and Peridot went ahead and tamed the cluster (She made a note to tell the Blue Diamond about it). Such a waste. Their plans and permits for demolition were on display at Alpha Centauri for at least fifty years. But in retrospect, nobody's been to Alpha Centauri: it's too far, only four light years out of the way.
After a while, the Yellow Diamond turned to her Pearl, and finally spoke.
"Pearl, turn into a paintbrush," she ordered.
Yellow's Pearl did just that, in a shape similar to the one formed by Amethyst. The Yellow Diamond picked her up by the handle, and, going outside, beat her dry against one of the fingers of the hand-shaped ship. 'It does feel good,' she thought. Her Pearl thought otherwise. Maybe she should invest in a real brush...
Questioning her flawlessness, she needed to get away from it all. Steven was still gone, in search of either Ruby and/or Sapphire. The point was he was gone. Even if he wasn't gone, he'd probably be asleep by now. It was just around midnight, maybe later. That left the Yellow Diamond with only one other option: the barn outside of town, with Lapis Lazuli and Peridot. They were the only ones who she knew would be awake this hour.
When the Yellow Diamond arrived at the barn, she almost considered pushing the door open and barging in. But then she remembered what she saw during her observations of humans, and simply knocked. Peridot answered the door, a can of beer in her hand, and was taken off guard when she found out who it was. She dropped the can and saluted.
"Don't bother," said the Yellow Diamond, "I told you I'd come unarmed," sighing, "Can I come in?"
At ease, Peridot pushed the door open the rest of the way, and granted entrance for her (former) boss. She followed her to the side of the room and up a ladder, where Lapis Lazuli was rewinding the last Camp Pining Hearts tape. The Yellow Diamond rest her hands on the edge of the deck, and putting her weight into them, shrank to an appropriate size. Peridot opened a freezing cold cooler, and pulled out another beer. She took another one and tossed it to the Diamond.
"Well, here we go again," said Lapis Lazuli, putting in the tape for the first episode.
They all took a seat on the couch. The Yellow Diamond watched as Peridot open her can before doing the same.
"So...remind me what a Lapis Lazuli is doing here," she asked.
"Believe me, I don't really want to be here either," Lapis sighed, "But at the same time, I feel like I don't have a place on Homeworld anymore. But where else could I go?"
Now the Yellow Diamond sighed, "Have you heard the news?"
"That Rose was Pink all along?" said Peridot, "Yes, Steven called us when he caught a break. Still trying to take it all in?"
"Mmm."
"Have another drink and enjoy the show."
Camp Pining Hearts seems to have a strange effect on gems. Once they watch an episode, they just can't stop. First Peridot, then Lapis, and now the Yellow Diamond was hooked. At this point, she was really questioning her flawlessness: it's either that or just the booze talking. She was never the one to drink (she's a frickin' alien, for crying out loud), but didn't mean she couldn't find an excuse to start drinking.
Lapis, Peridot and the Yellow Diamond continued to binge-on cans of beer and episodes of "Camp Pining Hearts"-all through the night, sharing guilty pleasures, fascinatingly trivial moments, and epiphanies. They were just about to go to sleep, when, suddenly, it was dawn, and they remembered that they didn't really need to sleep in the first place. The clock radio next to the bedspread behind the couch went off.
"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey, East Coast! You're with Todd Zeppelin here, on the Early Morning Water Bucket. A very special good morning to all the alien life forms listening in, you know who you are. Hope you guys are enjoying your stay or just passing through! This one's just for you: it's the Eagles' 'Journey of the Sorcerer'!"
As Peridot stood up to go turn the clock radio off, the Yellow Diamond's Pearl appeared on the ground below, obviously ignorant of what happened overnight.
"My Diamond!" she called up, saluting, "Blue Diamond wants to speak with you at your earliest convenience."
"Thank you, Pearl. I'll be with her in a moment," the Yellow Diamond turned to Peridot, "Peridot, hand me a Direct Diamond Line, and those dark eye covers I use when I'm tanning."
Peridot searched for said device (damaged, sure, but it still works), and gave it to the Yellow Diamond, plus the pair of shades she asked for. The Yellow Diamond and her Pearl stepped outside the barn, grew back to size, and turned on the communicator. The face of the Blue Diamond's Pearl appeared on the holo-screen before her.
"This is the Blue Diamond control room" said Blue's Pearl.
"It's me. I'm returning Blue Diamond's call from earlier," said the Yellow Diamond, a bit drunk.
"One moment, please."
The perspective moved upward to the Blue Diamond's face, her eyes slightly drier than before.
"Yellow," said the Blue Diamond, "I was beginning to worry again. Where've you been? Has Steven turned against you?"
"I found something disturbing about what happened to Pink Diamond, and I needed some time to myself," the Yellow Diamond explained, "Steven is off...doing his own thing."
"Remember, Yellow, you're dealing with the son of Rose Quartz. He is one of them. He shouldn't be there; he cannot fathom how much I've mourned, what thousands of years of grief has done to me."
Sniff. The Yellow Diamond sighed, sat down in front Lapis Lazuli's pool, and pulled off her shades.
"Well, that's the thing," she said, "You see, Rose Quartz is..." She paused: how should she put this? "I think the last 6,000 years are now the biggest galactic embarrassment that's ever happened."
"What are you saying, Yellow?"
"Rose Quartz...never existed. She was...Pink Diamond all along."
The Blue Diamond was stunned silent: her (metaphorical) river of tears stopped flowing, the pupils in her eyes shrank.
"It was all an attempt to make all of us go away. She herself started this. Pink Diamond...was a Crystal Gem. I think we owe them all an apology."
More silence, then the Blue Diamond spoke, reaching for the controls to end the transmission.
"I need some time alone," she said, then static.
'Just as well' the Yellow Diamond thought, as she put her shades back on, stood up, and walked toward the sunrise, back into town.
She could've taken a warp pad back, but she decided to take the long way, and let all that alcohol run its course. It was just about afternoon when the Yellow Diamond arrived back at Beach City. At that point, she was simply hung over: that was good enough for her.
The beach was where it was at. A who's who of people were gathered around the temple, dressed in their best. Steven was standing atop the stairway lead from the beach to the front door of his house. As the size of the house and the supports holding it up, the Yellow Diamond was almost at eye level with Steven.
"Steven."
"Yellow Diamond."
"What's happening here?"
"Ruby and Sapphire got back together, and they're going to marry tonight. They've decided they want to know that they're together when they're apart."
"I don't understand half of what you said."
"Me neither. It's probably an 'adult' thing my Dad hasn't told me about yet," Steven looked up at the Yellow Diamond and saw that her shades were on, "What happened to you?"
"I spent the night with Peridot and a Lapis Lazuli, and we all got intoxicated while watching one your silly Earth programs. Then I contacted Blue Diamond about the discovery, and she hung up on me."
"Gee," said Steven, "I hope she took it well. I guess you did after all. That reminds me, we might need someone to hand out the flowers during the ceremony. I'll have to text her later."
And he did. Peridot arrived as soon as she could. Lapis stayed behind to watch over the barn. Ruby and Sapphire were wed at sundown. They fused back into Garnet, and she began to dance her gems out on the dance floor; and so did everybody else. Everyone, that is, except for Steven and the Yellow Diamond. They stood off to the side of the dance floor, the Yellow Diamond back down to Garnet's size.
"Steven," she began, "I know it's not technically the end of the week, but I've decided on a verdict for Earth."
Steven looked up at her shadeless, sober face and smiled.
"Earth was Pink Diamond's planet, and because you're really the son of Pink Diamond after all, the Earth is yours."
The Yellow Diamond couldn't believe that she was actually doing it herself, but she picked up Steven and gave him a well-deserved hug.
"I wanna thank you for showing me how much the Earth means to you and everyone else here," she continued.
"I'm happy you enjoyed yourself," said Steven.
And, for the first time in her life, the Yellow Diamond smiled. It was a genuine one. She was so happy, she started to shed a tear. So did Steven. Then she realized that something wasn't right.
Everybody was sobbing uncontrollably. Steven and the Crystal Gems realized that could only mean one thing: the Blue Diamond was coming. Steven was the first one to spot her hand ship coming into view.
"Look! It's Blue Diamond!" said Steven, "I guess she took it well after all!"
"I can't help but feel like we forgot to tell her something..." said the Yellow Diamond, worriedly.
It only took them a minute to realize what it was, then they both shouted out the conclusion together.
"THE CLUSTER!"
The Blue Diamond's hand ship was headed in the direction of the barn. Steven pulled out his smartphone and texted Lapis "BD SHIP HEADED YOUR WAY; TAKE COVER". When he looked back up, he saw that the Yellow Diamond took as well for her hand ship. Starting it up, she flew it in front of the Blue hand ship's path, and began to arm wrestle with the hand ships. Meanwhile, Steven could see that Lapis encased the whole barn in a giant bubble, moving it out of the way of danger. The arm wrestle resulted in both handships landing on the beach; hard, badly damaged...and that's not to mention the house!
Both Diamonds emerged from their respective ships.
"Yellow..." said the Blue Diamond, shakingly, a lower eyelid twitching, "Is there...something...you forgot to tell me?"
Out of impulse, Connie drew her sword, and, climbing on Lion, charged toward the Blue Diamond. Steven and the others tried to call her back, but she was already too far away. Lion hit the brakes hard, launching Connie in the air. She was caught by the sword in the Blue Diamond's hand.
"I know this sword..." she said coldly, "This is the sword that deceived us!"
The pressure the Blue Diamond's hand put on the sword caused it to break into pieces, dropping Connie down onto the sand below. Steven ran to where Connie landed, and looked up toward the Diamonds.
"Guys!" he yelled, "Stop! It's me! PINK DIAMOND!"
And they did. The Blue Diamond was more shocked than the Yellow Diamond. Shaking, she reached out her hand toward Steven, and put a finger under his chin. Steven lifted his suit to show them his gem...no...his diamond to them once more.
"So it's true!" said the Blue Diamond, "You really are the son of Pink Diamond!"
The Diamonds shrunk back down to a reasonable size. The Blue Diamond picked Steven up, and hugged him to no end. Everyone went back to sobbing happily. Lapis, seeing that it was a false alarm, popped her bubble, letting the barn drop...also hard...on the ground below.
To be continued in "Legs from Here to Homeworld"
Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.
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