A/N: I'm home a bit earlier than planned, so you get this chapter sooner! Unfortunately, there have been some other schedule changes, so I'll be out of town for most of this week. I plan to update again by next Monday. Thanks for your patience, and for reading and reviewing!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Changes of Heart

"Wait."

"What?" Tonks asked breathlessly as Remus pulled away from her.

"We can do this. Not now." Remus sat up and looked away from her. There were so many conflicting emotions raging through him that he could hardly think straight. Looking into her eyes would only make the confusion worse.

"What do you mean?" Tonks asked, scrambling to sit up next to him on the couch.

"This isn't right," Remus said. He knew that what he was about to say was an excuse, but it was all he could think of. "Sirius …"

"Sirius would be thrilled to know that we've finally acknowledged our feelings," Tonks said. "He wanted us to get together from the day we met."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean …"

"It doesn't mean what?"

"It doesn't mean that we have to be together," Remus nearly whispered. "Tonks, we can't be sure that this is the right thing to do."

"We can't ever be sure of anything," she said. "Isn't that half the fun? The risk? The not knowing?"

Remus looked at her in surprise. She sounded so much like James that he half expected to hear her say James's oft-repeated "we have to live like there's no tomorrow" quote. How many times had he heard James say that? And, more importantly, how many times had he agreed with him? He knew very well that they had to live like they wouldn't have a tomorrow, particularly in times of war, because there was always a chance that they wouldn't. Even so … it was too much of a risk. He couldn't do it.

"I don't know, Tonks …"

"Remus," she sighed, running her hands through her hair, pausing for a moment to hold it back from her face, "we didn't die with him."

Even though he had thrown Sirius's name out as an excuse to keep him from admitting the truth – that he was terrified of falling in love again – she took it at face value, and her words were too much. He thought that he had dealt with his grief while he was in France, he thought that he had cried himself out with Olivia and Dana, but he was wrong. He couldn't handle the simple, honest statement. Maybe thinking of James had something to do with it. He didn't know why, but suddenly, without warning, Remus burst into tears. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. He rocked back and forth as he cried.

Tonks stared at him in shock for a moment, then put her arms around him. She rocked with him, feeling her own tears beginning to fall.

"It's going to be all right, Remus," she said. "It's all going to be all right."

"No, it's not," he sobbed. "Do you have any idea what's happened? I've lost Sirius – my best friend." He pulled back from her embrace so that he could look at her. "I've just spent three days being the rock for Olivia and Dana, but, Tonks, I just can't do it anymore. I was the rock for my friends when Kathleen died, when James and Lily died, when Peter 'died,' when we all blamed Sirius for everything that had happened, when we lost Harry to the Dursleys and when we realized that Sirius had been innocent all along. I can't be the strong one – not again."

"You don't have to be," she said. "Not this time. Let me be the strong one for you, Remus. Let me help you."

"I don't know if I know how to do that," he whispered.

"Remus …"

He shook his head. "Do you know how hard it is for me to let myself go? To depend on someone else?"

"You can depend on me," she said empathetically. "I'll be here for you. I'm not going anywhere. Just … Remus, just let go. I'll help you."

He shook his head again.

She looked at him mutely for a moment, then bit her lip. Why did he have to make it so difficult for her to help him?

He stood up without speaking, and crossed to the mantle. He and Sirius had decorated it with pictures from their childhood. He smiled as he picked up their favorite, a picture taken the morning they had left Hogwarts to go home for Christmas during their seventh year. It was the last picture taken before Kathleen had died – the last one of their entire group.

"We used to be so happy," he said, watching as Sirius and James released their girlfriends to throw arms around each other's shoulders. Tears filled his eyes again. "At least Sirius and James are together again." He paused, and looked at Tonks, who had stepped forward to join him at the mantle. "They were always better friends with each other than I was with either of them, you know. I mean, they were my best friends, but the two of them had a bond like no other. I'm not even sure that Harry and Ron are as close as James and Sirius were."

"They still loved you, Remus," Tonks said quietly.

"Oh, I know," he said quickly. "The sacrifices they made for me, the things they did for me … I've never had such friends. I just wish …"

"What?"

"I wish I still had them," he said, the tears beginning to fall. "I can't believe what's happened to us since this was taken." He held the picture out for her to see. "Look at us."

She smiled slightly as she looked at the picture. "Well, that must be Sirius."

Remus nodded. "He was always the handsome one."

"And this is you, right?" she said.

"Yes."

"Who's the girl you have your arm around?"

"Laura."

She smiled. "Was she your girlfriend?"

"She was then," he replied. "A few years after this was taken, she became my wife."

The color drained from Tonks's face. "Oh, Remus …"

"I loved her so much," he said, tears shining in his eyes. "When she died…" His voice trailed off.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Tonks whispered.

Remus paused for a moment, then began to talk again. "Of all the people in this picture, Tonks, only four of us are still alive." He began pointing to individual faces as he told their histories. "Kathleen was killed during that holiday. Aidan was killed by Death Eaters during a party to celebrate his and Dana's pregnancy. Laura died of heart failure. James and Lily … well, you know what happened to them. Sirius …" His voice trailed off. "There were ten of us in the picture. Ten! These were my best friends, Tonks. These were the people who would have done anything for me, and for whom I would have done anything. Of the ten, only four of us are left. Me, here in England, Dana and Olivia in France, and Peter …" His eyes narrowed into a glare. "Peter was the cause for so much of this."

"Remus, listen to me," she said urgently. "I know that Peter is the reason for so many of the horrible things that have happened, but you can't spend all your energy hating him or being angry at him. It's not going to do you any good." She paused. "One thing that my mother's family has taught me is that hate never does anyone any good. Please, Remus, don't let yourself be caught up in all that hate and anger."

He smiled sadly. "I haven't in all these years. Why would I now?"

"I just …"

He smiled and touched her cheek. "Tonks, I've dealt with more loss than should be allowed by law. I know enough not to let myself wallow in anger and hate. However, I do think that I'm entitled to a little bit of self-pity, don't you?"

"Only a little bit," she said with a ghost of a smile.

Silence fell for a moment. Remus put the picture back on the mantle, and looked at the others. There were so many pictures of them as children, as teenagers, and as young adults. None of the pictures showed them after James and Lily's deaths. In so many ways, it had been the defining moment in all their lives.

"How old are you?" he asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

She looked surprised. "Twenty-three."

He nodded. "By the time I was your age, I had already lost my wife and five of my best friends. Can you imagine what that's like?"

She shook her head. "Remus, to be honest, I can't even imagine being married."

He nodded again. "Losing a friend – a best friend – is … It's completely incomprehensible, the loss that you feel. I don't think it was until James and Lily died that it really caught up with me. Before that, everything had been so spread out. Kathleen died in seventh year, but it was years before we lost Aidan. Then there was Laura … that almost killed me. But, I had my friends. Lily was a rock for me, and Dana was incredible. And, I had the guys – James, Sirius and Peter.

"But when James and Lily died, it was as though the bottom fell out of the world. Because, it wasn't just that they died. It wasn't just that Harry was sent to live with his aunt. It was that Sirius had betrayed them, and had killed Peter along the way. It was as though everything I had believed was gone, all in one fell swoop.

"Then we found out that Sirius was innocent, that we had been wrong …" His voice trailed off into silence.

"But you found out," Tonks said, taking his hand and squeezing it. "Think of all the happiness and excitement … think of the forgiveness that came from that."

Remus nodded. "That meant the world to me, and to Sirius, Olivia and Dana."

Silence fell again as they both focused on the pictures. Remus picked up a picture of James, Lily and Sirius. It had been taken right after Harry's birth. James was in the center of the picture, with one arm around his wife's waist and the other around his best friend's shoulders. Lily, her arms around James, grinned broadly. Sirius, who had told Remus that this picture had been taken shortly after James and Lily had asked him to be Harry's godfather, held the baby. His eyes shone with pride and excitement. After watching the picture for a moment, Remus turned to look at Tonks.

"Do you know what really bothers me right now? I mean, aside from losing my friend?"

"What?"

"That I can't see Harry. I can't even imagine what he's going through. Sirius was the closest thing to a father he's known since James died, and now he's lost him, too."

"Sirius adored him," Tonks said.

Remus nodded. "And he adored Sirius." He sighed. "I just wish I could talk to him. It would make me feel so much better if I could just have one conversation with him."

"Why don't you write to him?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't think this is the sort of thing you can put in a letter."

"No, I suppose not," she agreed. "It's hard, with him trapped at Hogwarts."

Remus nodded. "But at least he's safe there."

"He'll be safe with his family, too."

"Yes, he'll be safe, but he hates his family, he hates staying with them …" He smiled slightly. "I suppose he's like Sirius and your mum in that respect. I just wish there was something I could do to make it more bearable."

Tonks looked thoughtful. "Well, maybe there is."

"What can we do? Dumbledore has made it abundantly clear that he has to go back there every year for his protection."

"Yes, but we can at least talk to his family. We can make sure that they understand that Harry has friends who are going to make sure that he is well cared for."

Remus smiled. "Are you suggesting that we threaten them into being nice to Harry?"

"Threaten sounds so harsh," she said with her eyes twinkling.

Remus grinned. "Let's get Moody in on it."

"Oh, definitely," Tonks said with a matching grin. "Somehow, I think this is right up his alley."

Tonks stayed with Remus for hours that night. She stayed as he swayed between profound grief over his friend's death, regret over a past that could never be changed, fear for his best friends' only son, and resigned acceptance of his current situation.

"You can leave, you know," Remus said at last. "You don't need to stay here to keep me company. I'll be fine now, I'm sure."

They were sitting outside on the back porch together, watching the stars appear in the night sky. It was getting chilly as it got later, and Tonks shivered slightly before responding to Remus's statement.

"Did it ever occur to you that I'm here as much for me as I am for you?" she asked. "He was my cousin, Remus. And, even more than that, he was my friend. I'm going to miss him, too."

"Tonks," he whispered, reaching out to take her hand, "why didn't you say something sooner? I wouldn't have put all this on you – I wouldn't have made you deal with so much of my baggage."

"I know," she said, squeezing his hand. "That's why I didn't say anything."

Remus didn't say anything for a long moment. How could she be so sweet? So kind? So … wonderful? He didn't know what to say to her, or how to thank her.

He leaned closer to her, and kissed her cheek. She looked up at him in surprise.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "I don't deserve a friend like you."

"Yes, you do," she replied softly. "And you have one, so you'd better get used to it."

While, Remus, Tonks, Moody, Kingsley, the Weasleys and Hermione watched, Harry waved and turned to walk away. His dumbfounded family followed behind him, Petunia clutching Dudley to her as best she could. Even though he hadn't had the chance to speak with him privately as he had hoped, Remus felt infinitely better as he watched Harry leave. He had seen the gratitude and renewed strength reflected in his eyes – in Lily's eyes – and, somehow, he knew that Harry would be fine.

"I can't believe we did that!" Tonks laughed, interrupting his thoughts.

"Why not?" Remus grinned. "It was fun, wasn't it?"

"I wish I could have had more time to talk to that Dursley," Moody growled. "I think he needed a bit more intimidation."

"Were you hoping to have him die on the spot, Moody?" Tonks asked. "I'd say you did a pretty good job of intimidating him."

"I just want to make sure that he got the point," Moody said.

"I'd say he got it," Kingsley said, exchanging an amused look with Tonks.

"I do hope they'll treat Harry better this summer," Molly said with concern in her eyes. "They've been so horrible to him in the past, and after all he's endured …"

"Will Professor Dumbledore let him come to stay with us, Mum?" Ron asked.

"I hope so," Molly replied. "I've spoken to him about it, and he promised to see what he could arrange."

"It would certainly be better for Harry to be with you," Remus said. "As long as Dumbledore thinks he can protect all of you, I don't see why he wouldn't let Harry stay at the Burrow."

"I hope he can come soon," Ron said. He turned to Hermione. "What about you? Can you come to stay with us for the summer?"

"I have to talk to my parents," Hermione said uncertainly.

"We'll talk to them, dear," Molly said. "I'm sure we can work something out."

"Are they aware of … well, current events?" Arthur asked.

"Somewhat," Hermione said. "I didn't want to put too much in writing."

"That's probably for the best," said Remus, who was quite sure that Hermione's "somewhat" meant that her parents had no idea what was going on in their daughter's world. "Do you want me to talk to them, Hermione?"

"If you want," she said a bit carelessly. "I'm sure they'll trust Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. They've never had a problem with me spending time with them in the past."

As if on cue, Hermione's parents stepped over to join the group.

"Hermione, are you ready to leave?" her mother asked.

"Yes, I suppose," she said. "Mum, Mrs. Weasley just invited me to stay with them for part of the summer. May I?"

"I suppose," she replied. "I do want you to stay home for a bit, first, though."

"All right," Hermione agreed. "Harry's going to the Weasleys', too, so the two of us and Ron will be able to get our summer homework done together, you know."

"I know she likes to do schoolwork with her friends," her father said, glancing at his wife over Hermione's head. "But, I agree, Hermione, that you need to spend some time at home."

"All right." She looked at Ron and Ginny. "Will you let me know when Harry is coming? I want to make sure … I just think he's really going to need us."

"Sure," they said together.

She nodded. "All right, then. Well, good bye."

Hermione hugged everyone, then left with her parents. Remus shook his head slightly, certain that the Grangers would never know the true extent of the danger their daughter was in on a daily basis.

"Well, we'd better get these two home," Arthur said, indicating Ron and Ginny. He glanced around. "We probably don't want to stay out in the open for too long."

Ron and Ginny looked at one another and rolled their eyes. Remus, Tonks and Kingsley all saw the exchange; they quickly looked away from each other to keep from laughing.

"Are you two sure you don't want to come home with us?" Molly asked Fred and George.

"We'll be fine, Mum," Fred replied. "We need to get back to work."

She shook her head. "You work too much."

"We do it because we love it, Mum," George said.

Ron and Ginny laughed at that. George frowned at them.

"One day, you two will find something you love," Fred said breezily. "Come on, George. Let's get back to work."

Ron laughed again, but Ginny remained quiet. Watching her, Remus smiled slightly as she turned to look at the place in the crowd where Harry had disappeared.

"Remus, do you want to come out for a bite to eat with us?" Tonks asked, again interrupting his thoughts.

"Us?" Remus asked.

"Kingsley and me," she said. "There's a Muggle restaurant down the street that I love. I've been telling King about it for ages, but he's never been, so I'm going to take him. Do you want to come?"

"Sure," Remus replied. "Lead the way."

They left the station together, and walked a few blocks down the street. Tonks stopped in front of a small restaurant and turned to the two men with a smile.

"Here we are!"

"It doesn't look like much," Kingsley said dubiously.

Tonks shook her head. "Don't judge a book by its cover, King."

Remus opened the door and held it for Tonks. "Well, let's see if this place is all she claims."

"It is," she said as she walked in. She looked over her shoulder at them with a grin. "And more."

Kingsley shrugged at Remus as he followed Tonks into the restaurant.

Remus had to admit that the restaurant was all that Tonks claimed that it would be. It was an older building, which lent quite a bit of character to the atmosphere. The staff was friendly, and the food was wonderful.

"Well," Kingsley said as they left, "I can understand why you like it so much, Tonks. It really is a great place."

"Ha," she grinned. "I knew you'd like it." She poked Remus's side. "You, too. What did you think?"

"It's great," Remus agreed. "I wish I had known about it sooner."

"Excellent," she beamed. "Two new converts."

"You're a bit too excited about this," Kingsley smiled. "Does your father own it?"

"Nope," she said. "I'm just an avid fan."

Kingsley glanced at his watch. "Well, this new convert needs to get to work." He made a face. "It's my paperwork shift today."

"Have fun with that," Tonks said cheerfully.

Kingsley rolled his eyes at her. "I'll do my best. I'll see you tomorrow, partner. Remus, it's been fun, as always. I'll see you at the next meeting."

"I'll be there," Remus smiled.

"Well," Tonks said as Kingsley Disapparated, "would you like to come back to my flat for a bit? We didn't have dessert with dinner, and I have a whole container of chocolate chip ice cream, and no one to help me eat it."

Remus hesitated. He did want to go back to her place – desperately – but was afraid of what would happen. Truthfully, he wasn't even sure he knew what he wanted to have happen. He wanted to kiss her again, he wanted to hold her again, he wanted to talk to her forever … but he was terrified that he might. He knew how easily he could love her, but he didn't want to allow himself that luxury. She was such an amazing person. She deserved so much better than him.

"Come on," Tonks teased. "You don't have better plans, do you?"

How could he turn her down? "No, I suppose not," Remus smiled. "And I can't possibly let you eat all that ice cream alone."

"Exactly," she grinned. "Let's go!"

After three bowls of ice cream each, Remus and Tonks were both edging toward food comas. They sat on opposite ends of her couch, both leaning heavily on the arms of the piece of furniture.

"I didn't realize that you wanted me to help you eat the entire thing in one sitting," Remus said.

Tonks giggled. "It's hard to stop once you've started. I'm impressed, really, that you kept up with me."

"I'd imagine very few people can," Remus laughed.

She smiled a bittersweet smile. "That's actually my favorite memory of Sirius," she said quietly. "Once, when I was a little girl, he came over to visit unexpectedly. My mum had to run out to the store, so she left me alone with him. Sirius really had no idea what to do with kids, so he opened the freezer and found some ice cream. He said that we should have a contest to see who could eat more."

Remus grinned. "Who won?"

"Sirius, obviously. An eight-year-old girl can't keep up with a twenty-two-year-old man! But, that's when I started being able to eat huge amounts of ice cream in one sitting. I was determined to beat Sirius the next time I saw him." Her smile faded. "That turned out to be the last time I saw him before he was sent to Azkaban. Even so, I couldn't believe that he would do something like that – not to James and Lily. So, I kept up my 'training' so that I'd be ready to go as soon as he was released."

Remus's smile faded, too, but for an entirely different reason. He was realizing anew exactly how young she was.

"Tonks," he said slowly, "this isn't going to work."

"What isn't?" she frowned.

"We can't – we can't be together. Not romantically."

"What are you talking about?" she asked in confusion. "You haven't even given us a chance!"

"It's just not going to work," he sighed.

"Give me one good reason why not," she said, an angry glint coming into her eyes that reminded Remus of Sirius.

"I'll give you four," he said. "First, do you realize what you just said when you told me that story?"

"That I can eat way more ice cream than you?" she asked.

Remus smiled in spite of himself. "No, Tonks, you referenced yourself as a little girl while Sirius – and I – were adults. It's just … I'm too old for you, sweetheart."

"Age is just a number," she said, waving away his concern.

"Not in this case," he said. "It's a huge factor – particularly when compounded by the fact that I'm a werewolf – which is the second reason we can't be together."

"Why would that make a difference?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"It makes all the difference in the world!" he exclaimed.

She shook her head as though saying she could never reason with him. "And you said you have two other reasons why we can't be together?"

"Yes," he said. "I'm unemployed – which means I can't ever do things for you or provide for you as I should."

She rolled her eyes. "You do realize that this isn't the 1950s, right?"

"And finally," he said loudly as though she hadn't spoken, "you're too good for me."

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

He took her hands in his. "Tonks, you are one of the best people I have ever known in my life. I mean that very honestly. But, love, I just don't deserve someone like you."

She pulled her hands back. "Don't you ever do that," she said harshly.

"Do what?"

"Don't you ever say that you aren't good enough for someone or something," she said. "Remus, you are one of the best people I've ever known, and I definitely think that you deserve the best of everything!"

He shook his head. "Tonks, it can't work. I'm too old for you, I'm too poor … I'm a werewolf, for Christ's sake!"

"When have you ever known that to make a difference to me?" she yelled. "Any of it? Remus, I want to be with you, regardless of any obstacles that you can find!"

"No!" he yelled, jumping up off the couch. "It just won't work, Tonks, and I won't let us break our hearts trying to force it to work!"

"Then you're a prat," she said coldly, standing up to look into his face. "You're a complete and utter moron if you're willing to throw away what could be a wonderful relationship all for something that you think might be a problem."

"It will be a problem," he said empathetically. "It's ridiculous to even try!"

"For God's sake, Remus, be reasonable," she yelled. "Can't we at least talk about a way to make this work?"

"No," he said, walking toward the door. "There's no point. Good bye, Tonks."

He walked out the door, leaving her in a towering rage. As soon as the door closed behind him, she screamed in frustration.

"Damn him!" she yelled.

She reached down and grabbed a vase off the table. She hurled it at the door, feeling grim satisfaction in the sound of the glass shattering against the wood.

She knew she couldn't stay in her flat alone. There was one person she needed to talk to, the one person who would be able to help her calm down and rationalize the situation. Closing her eyes, she Disapparated.