Author's Note: Takes place around Chapter 9
"A hundred kan that Hisana figures it out first."
"You're not betting on Kuchiki? I would have thought he'd realize it first, with the gifts and the subtle touches and the longing looks…"
"Exactly, Kazuki. She's just oblivious. He's actively in denial."
"I agree with Kaori. Hisana has never been the type to lie to herself."
"Well yeah, but she's also never been in a relationship that's lasted longer than two days before either. Especially since most of Inuzuri sees her as a doctor, not in that way." A horrified silence. "She does know what it feels like to have a crush, right? Like, what if the reason she's so oblivious is because she's never had a serious crush on anyone before and can't recognize her own feelings?"
"I highly doubt that," Mitsuo said dryly. "She's certainly been around the two of you long enough to be able to recognize the signs of physical attraction."
"Why you-!"
"What are you implying, you bastard-!"
"What are you guys talking about?" The door opened and Rukia, Renji and Miwa stepped in. Rukia cast a suspicious look Kazuki's way. "I heard nee-chan's name."
"Nothing, nothing!" Kazuki said cheerfully. "Just a harmless little bet regarding The World's Most Clueless Couple in our midst."
"You're betting on Shishou's love life?" Miwa asked in a horrified whisper.
"Yeah, well here's my bet that it's never gonna happen," Renji said, looking repulsed by the very thought of it.
"As much as I wish that were true, it looks like it's only going to be a matter of time before it does," Mitsuo sighed.
"I can still try my damned best to stop it," Renji grumbled. "As long as they haven't…kissed or anything, there's still hope. God damn it, I don't want Oni-sensei as my brother in law!"
There was a long silence as all the occupants of the room processed the statement. Then both Rukia and Miwa paled, Renji turned green, Kazuki's face hardened, Mitsuo's eyes turned very, very cold and Kaori looked like she was about to grab her sword and run all the way to the Seireitei just to challenge the Kuchiki heir to a duel.
"Don't…don't even speak of such matters," Kazuki said, looking nauseous.
"Hey, you're the ones all betting on Hisana-nee-san's love life!" Renji protested.
"Yeah, doesn't mean I like thinking about Hisana as Kuchiki's wife," Kazuki grumbled. "Thinking about Hisana as Kuchiki's girlfriend is bad enough. That's the whole reason for this bet, really. If I have to suffer through watching that clusterfuck of an emotional train wreck, I should at least be able to get some entertainment out of it. And some money, possibly."
"Good luck with that," Kaori scoffed. "This bet is mine. There's no way you can win."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that, Kaori," Mitsuo said serenely. "200 kan that Hisana figures it out first but Kuchiki makes the first move."
"Oh, you're on."
"You do know that nee-chan is gonna kill all of you if she finds out about this?" Rukia asked dryly.
"Good thing I don't plan on telling her then," Kaori replied. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her. Or me."