A/N: As always, I apologize for the wait for this one. I hope it's worth it.

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing.

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Relief, Horror and Relief

"So, how is it, working with John?" Dana asked, sitting down with Olivia at her kitchen table.

Olivia shrugged, and grabbed one of the cookies Dana had put on the table. "Okay, I guess. He's really lost about what to do with the department, so he's taking my suggestions to heart."

"What are you suggesting?"

"The first thing we're going to do is to interview all the Aurors. I want to know what's good about the department and what's bad. We're also going over all the personnel files, trying to see where each Auror can be the most effective. I'm not advocating moving everyone again like he did when he came in, but if there are some people who are not necessarily in the best place, I think they need to be shifted."

Dana nodded, smiling at the way Olivia's eyes lit up as she spoke. "You sound as if you're really enjoying this."

"You know, Dana, I am," she said a bit incredulously. "I thought that I would hate every minute of it, but it's nothing like I expected." She shrugged. "I'd never give up field work altogether, but I can see why a position like this would be appealing."

Dana opened her mouth to reply, but stopped as an owl flew through the window. She smiled warmly as she took the letter from it.

"That's Laura's owl, isn't it?" Olivia asked.

"Yes," Dana replied. "She writes to me far more regularly now – after our talk at Christmas."

"I'm so glad," Olivia smiled. "She's a good girl, Dana – she's just being a teenager."

"I sort of wish we could have skipped that stage," Dana grinned. She looked down at the unopened letter she had placed on the table.

"Well, open it!" Olivia laughed. "I want to hear about what she's doing, too!"

Laughing, Dana picked up the letter and broke the seal. She began reading while Olivia watched.

"Don't I get to hear any of it?" Olivia laughed.

"Well, she says her classes are getting harder," Dana said. "I suppose that makes sense, given where she is in school. And Adèle and Carine are panicking over all the work they have to do … they both say hello." She looked up with a smile. "They really are sweet girls. I'm glad Laura found them as friends."

"Yeah, I like them," Olivia agreed, thinking of the few times she had met Laura's friends.

"Théo says hello, too," Dana said, returning to her letter. "She says that he's the one who's not stressed over school – he says there are 'more important things than exams.'"

Olivia laughed. "I see that Théo is to her what James and Sirius were to Remus."

"And what you were to Lily, Kathleen and I," Dana smiled. Her eyes dropped as she began reading again, then widened in surprise.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"She says … she has a new boyfriend," Dana said slowly.

"Really?" Olivia smiled. "That's great. What's his name?"

"Mathieu," Dana replied. "She says he's so much better than Pierre – absolutely wonderful, in fact. And that he's very handsome. And that she's sure I would love him." Her eyes widened even further. "She says she wants me to meet him," she whispered.

"Dana, do you realize how fantastic this is?" Olivia said, trying to stem the panic that she could see rising in Dana's face. "She wouldn't tell you about Pierre forever, and she didn't have any real desire for you meet him. It seems like she's doing a complete turn around with Mathieu."

"I suppose you're right," Dana said. She sighed. "I guess I was just hoping to have my little girl back for a bit longer."

"I'm afraid that your little girl is growing up," Olivia said. "But, really, Dana, would you want her to be a child forever?"

"Of course not," Dana said. She smiled. "You're right. She's confiding in me, and she's trusting me, which is a vast improvement. I'd far rather this than the secrecy she preferred before."

"You'd better write her back and tell her that," Olivia said.

"Well, I won't put it quite like that," Dana smiled. "But, I will tell her that I'm glad she was able to move on, that Mathieu sounds wonderful … and that I'm proud of her."

Olivia smiled. "I'm proud of you, Dana. You're a great mum."

"Thanks," Dana smiled.

"What are your plans for the weekend?" Maureen asked Remus as they sat in his living room together, sipping tea and chatting.

"I'm not sure yet," Remus admitted.

"You need more of a social life," Maureen giggled.

"You sound like my goddaughter."

"She must be very wise."

"Yes … for a fifteen-year-old."

Maureen giggled again. "Ah, well, I suppose she's wise beyond her years, then."

Remus shook his head. "So, are you planning to go to the bar again this Friday?" he asked. The vast majority of the werewolves in the colony all gathered at the local bar on Friday evenings for their own version of happy hour.

Maureen nodded. "You should come with me. At the risk of sounding cliché, everyone who's anyone is there, and, Remus, you really are getting to be a loner."

"Getting to be?" Remus laughed. "I've been a loner ever since I moved in! No one wants anything to do with a werewolf who's tried to live as a human."

"I know it's tough, but I think that you could win them over if you tried."

"I've love to win them over," Remus said with feeling.

"Then come with me this Friday," Maureen encouraged. "It's always a good time, and you're bound to make a good impression on someone."

"I don't know," Remus hesitated. "I just keep thinking of the last time I went in there. The reaction I got was like something out of a Muggle western."

Maureen smiled. "But, that was the day you met me. So, I guess not everything was horrible about it."

"You're giving yourself a lot of credit, you know," he teased.

"Well, excuse me for thinking that our friendship means something," she said, mocking heartbreak. She laughed. "I'll remember that comment."

Any reply that Remus would have given was cut off by a terrible shriek. They both jumped in their chairs. After exchanging one terrified look, they ran to the front window.

A man was being pulled to the center of town. People were following behind, and coming out of their houses to witness the spectacle.

"What's going on?" Maureen asked.

"I don't know," Remus said, shaking his head. "I've never seen anything like this." Indeed, in all the time he had spent gathering information about the colony, he had never observed this sort of violence.

"Come on," Maureen said, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the door. "I want to know what's going on."

"Maureen, I don't think it's going to be good," Remus cautioned.

"I know," she said grimly, "but I want us to know what to avoid doing."

Remus sighed and nodded, then followed her out and to the center of town.

Greyback stood in the middle of the gathering crowd, staring with contempt at the man who was being held in place by two others who were considered elders within the colony. The prisoner's eyes were wide with fear. Greyback stepped closer to him and snapped his jaws at him. The man's eyes snapped shut and his face turned away.

"My friends," Greyback said, turning to include all those gathered in his greeting, "welcome. Thank you for coming out to see what can happen to those who defy me."

Maureen and Remus stood at the edge of the crowd, trying at once to see what was happening and to melt, unseen, into the crowd. Maureen edged closer to Remus. He looked down at her for a moment, and took her hand in a comforting gesture. She looked up and smiled at him, squeezing his hand supportively.

"This man," Greyback continued, "has only recently joined our family. He came to me almost immediately after being bitten, thereby showing his commitment to fully embracing our way of life. I was impressed with him from the very first."

Remus felt his face growing warm. He wished there was a way to make himself invisible. For the first time in a long time, he thought longingly of James's old cloak.

"However, I am sorry to report that my trust in our new friend has been misplaced." Contempt filled Greyback's dark eyes as he turned to look at the poor man in question. "I learned today that he was not willing to fully embrace our lifestyle. It appears that he has been carrying on a romantic relationship with a woman who does not live here – one who is not one of us."

Murmurs and gasps ran throughout the group at these words. Angry eyes were turned toward the prisoner as the crowd fully digested the information Greyback had shared.

Remus's blood ran cold. Maureen, feeling the clamminess in his hand, turned to look at him with concern. Remus could feel her eyes on him, but refused to look at her. He kept his unseeing eyes facing straight ahead, trained on Greyback and his victim.

"We must make him pay," Greyback spat with a venom that permeated the group.

With those words, he pounced. He jumped on the man, attacking him with a savageness that Remus equated with wild animals. The man, held fast by Greyback's cronies, was powerless to fight back. His shrieks filled the night air; he could not even be drowned out by the cheers from the crowd.

Remus stared at the sight with a fascinated horror; his mouth dropped open and his eyes rounded as he watched. He wanted desperately to help the man; his Healer training kicked in as he thought of all that he could do to fix his wounds. Yet, his sense of self-preservation was even stronger; it kept him rooted in his spot.

Maureen tugged on his sleeve. He looked down at her with questions in his eyes.

"Let's go," she said, her face a bit green. "I can't take watching this."

Nodding, Remus led her away, back to her house. She opened the door with shaking hands and led him inside.

"Oh, that was horrible," she said, running her hands up and down her arms. "That was horrible."

The full impact of what they had witnessed hit Remus; his teeth began to chatter uncontrollably.

"Maureen … that could have been me."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "You've been under the radar from the very first."

"Yes, but …"

"Remus, don't," she said harshly, grabbing him by the arms. "Don't even think it."

"How can I not?"

"You told me that you're not dating this girl, right?"

"Right."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

"I have everything to worry about," he said quietly. "I'm not ready to fully embrace this lifestyle, either."

"Well, you'd better be ready to fully act like you are," she replied. "I really don't think that Greyback is ready to give second chances."

"Thank you, Professor Snape, for that enlightening bit of information," Professor McGonagall said. Dumbledore was mysteriously absent, leaving her to chair the Order meeting.

Olivia and Tonks looked at each other for a brief moment, then looked away. They both felt that Snape was withholding large amounts of information from the Order. His reports at their meetings had become more and more vague, and there was something about him that gave him an air of deception. However, they had no proof of any wrongdoing on his part, and, as Remus had pointed out more than once, trusting Dumbledore meant trusting Snape. They grudgingly gave him their trust, both secretly hoping that it had not been misplaced.

"I'd like to give you the updated intelligence report," McGonagall continued

Tonks winced slightly. She hated McGonagall's reports. She always spoke of the latest attacks, reports of planned future attacks and skirmishes between the Death Eaters and the Order or the Death Eaters and the Ministry. All in all, her reports tended to be disheartening.

"We have recently received word of an attack within Greyback's colony," she stated flatly.

Tonks jumped in her chair. She turned to look at Olivia, whose face was rapidly losing color.

"Professor, who was attacked?" Olivia asked.

"I don't have the information," she replied. "All we know as of now was that it was a werewolf – and that he was attacked by Greyback himself."

Olivia flinched. "It wasn't …?"

"I've given you everything I have, Olivia," McGonagall said in a gentler-than-usual voice. "I'm sorry I don't know more."

With those words, Tonks felt her world fall apart.

Olivia raced home after the meeting, thinking of nothing other than making sure that Remus was safe. She didn't expect to see him there, but a small part of her hoped that he might be sitting in the living room, waiting for her. The reality of her empty flat quickly slapped her in the face.

"I have to get in touch with him," she said, sitting down to write to him. She knew that she would never be able to find the colony, and that even if she did manage to find it, she would be killed as soon as she entered. But, her owl would have no such problems.

After scrawling a quick message to Remus, she felt only slightly calmer. She wouldn't be fully calm again until Remus stepped through her door.

A deep and overriding sense of panic took hold of Tonks with McGonagall's announcement. Unlike Olivia, she couldn't bring herself to write to Remus. She was terrified of not getting a response. So, she instead went to the school in search of Dumbledore. She was certain that if anyone would know what had happened, it would be the Headmaster.

She didn't find Dumbledore, but she did run into Harry. She was far too upset to do more than register that he was there and that he was talking to her. The only thing that she remembered from their encounter was him saying that he hadn't heard from anyone in the Order recently. To her, it was like confirmation that Remus was dead. She couldn't imagine him not writing to his best friends' son.

She returned home, her panic replaced by sorrow. She entered her flat without caring if she was supposed to be on patrol or not. Without turning on any lights, she went straight to her couch. She curled up in a ball and wrapped a warm blanket around herself.

It was only then that she let the sobs tear from her throat and shake her body.

Remus – the man she loved – was gone.

Remus was alone in his house when Olivia's owl flew through an open window. He stroked her feathers as he took the letter.

"Remus,

"Are you all right? McGonagall just told us at a meeting that there had been an attack in your neighborhood. I really just need to know that you're okay.

"Love,

"Olivia

"PS – Tonks was at the meeting, too."

The blood drained from Remus's face as he read her message again and again. There was only one course of action. He had to let them know that he was all right – and, somehow, just sending a letter didn't feel like it would be enough.

He wrote Maureen a note to tell her that he would be gone for a day or two. He knew that she would cover for him if need be. Then, he headed home.

Olivia wasn't in their flat when Remus arrived. Knowing that the logical thing to do would be to wait for her, he sat down on the couch. Agitation filled him; he wanted to see that she was all right as much as she wanted to know the same about him. Assuming that she would be at work, he headed for the Ministry.

He found her walking down a hall in the Auror division. She was carrying a ream of parchment and looked lost in thought.

"Liv," he said quietly.

Her head snapped up and her eyes locked with his. For a moment, she just stared at him. Then, giving a shriek of joy, she dropped the parchment she carried and jumped into his open arms.

"Oh, God, Remus, I was so scared!" she sobbed, clinging to him. "I was so afraid you had been attacked, that you had been … I'm so glad to see you!"

"I'm fine," he said over and over again, holding her tightly.

She finally pulled back and wiped her eyes, laughing shakily. "Maybe I should be banned from meetings."

"No," he said. "What she said was true. There was an attack."

Olivia's eyes rounded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Remus glanced around, noting how many Aurors had stopped working to watch their Head's sister sobbing over a friend. "Not now," he said quietly.

She nodded. "I get off at six."

"I'll see you at home, then."

"All right," she agreed, looking a bit reluctant to let him out of her sight. "Remus – until then – why don't you go see Tonks? She's as worried about you as I was."

He nodded slowly. "If you think I should."

"Remus, please," Olivia said. "I know that things are a mess between you, but she's been terrified. Please go show her that you're all right."

He nodded again, this time with certainty. "Okay. I'll go."

"Thanks."

And so, Remus once again found himself standing outside Tonks's flat. Once again, he was terrified to knock on her door. However, he knew it wasn't fair to let her think that he had been hurt, and it would be awful of him to let her hear that he was fine from Olivia. So, like the Gryffindor that he was, he knocked on the door.

"Who's there?"

Remus started. That frail, quiet voice sounded nothing like the strong, vibrant Auror he knew. "It's Remus," he said a bit uncertainly.

He could hear her whisper his name in disbelief, then a rapid series of clicks as the locking charms on the door were removed. Finally, the door was thrown open, and Tonks stood before him. Like Olivia, she only looked at him for a moment before collapsing into his arms.

For the second time that day, Remus held tightly to a woman who meant so much to him, letting her cry out all her fear for him. He gently led her back into her flat, shutting the door behind them.

"Remus," she whispered over and over. "I can't believe you're here. I can't believe you're all right."

"I'm fine," he said, as he had said to Olivia.

"I was so scared," she said. "I thought …"

"I know," Remus said, his face reflecting his pain. "I wish I hadn't put you through that." It's the whole reason I've kept my distance.

"Come in," she said suddenly, grabbing his hand to pull him fully into the flat. "Sit down."

She led him to the couch and sat down with him. She kept staring at him as though afraid to look away for fear he'd disappear again.

"Tonks," Remus said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for?" she asked. "It's not your fault that someone was attacked. McGonagall told us that Greyback had attacked one of his own."

"I know," he said. "I meant that I'm sorry that I've put you through all this. This fear for me, this mess that is my life … I never wanted to bring you into it."

"We're friends, Remus," she said, stumbling a bit over the word "friends." "This is what happens. We worry about each other."

"I know," he said again. "It's just …"

"Just what?"

He took a deep breath. "I watched my wife suffer with me," he said. "I didn't want you to have to go through that."

Tonks caught her breath. He had never talked openly about his wife to her before. "You've never asked anything of me," she whispered.

"I haven't because I'm afraid for you."

"I'm strong, Remus."

"So was she," he said with a wistful smile. "She was a beautiful person. Aside from physical beauty, she was so wonderful. So sweet, so kind, so … tough. She was one of the cleverest witches … a Ravenclaw …" He turned his eyes to look into hers. "Like you."

Tonks's breath caught in her throat again.

"We started dating during fifth year," he said. He didn't know why he was telling her this, but it seemed very important that he get it all out. "It was … I fell in love with her. She was the most important thing in my life. I was sure I would marry her. Then, in seventh year, we broke up."

Tonks's eyes widened, but she still remained silent.

"I hadn't told her about being a werewolf," he explained. "She figured it out on her own."

Tonks felt a surge of anger toward this woman she had never met for leaving Remus over something like that.

"It wasn't because I'm a werewolf," he said, correctly interpreting the fire in her eyes. "She thought that I was showing a lack of trust."

"Why?" she asked, finally finding her voice.

Remus smiled sadly. "I had told my friends. James, Sirius and Peter all knew, but I hadn't told her. I suppose that, to a seventeen-year-old, it seemed like I was choosing them over her. So, she broke up with me."

"But you married her?"

"We were only apart for a few months," he explained. "She … I was a wreck. It was the worst time of my life – up to that point."

"But, it all worked out."

"Yes," he said. "We graduated, James and Lily got married … Laura and I got married." He smiled sadly again. "We were so happy. It was wonderful."

Tonks nodded, silently urging him to continue.

"She came from a large family," he said. "I still keep in touch with her brothers and sisters. They're great people. But, if you grow up in a family like that, it just makes you want to have one of your own. Laura wanted children more than anything."

"Did you?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "We tried so hard for so long to have a baby. But, it wasn't meant to be."

"I'm sorry," Tonks whispered, thinking that Remus would have been a wonderful father.

"Then, Laura got sick," he said, his face darkening. "She had a heart problem. So little could be done then … it's not like now. I just watched as she got sicker and sicker, until finally …" He trailed off into silence, feeling the tears prick at the backs of his eyes.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Tonks whispered, watching him fight for control.

"No, I want to," he said. He swallowed hard. "Laura meant everything to me," he said. "She was my first love – my only love for the longest time." He paused and looked deeply into Tonks's eyes, knowing that Laura had been his only love until he had met the young woman next to him. "I wanted her to be the mother of my children. They would have been beautiful – they would have had her eyes, just like Harry has Lily's. She shouldn't have died so young."

"No one should," Tonks said quietly, thinking of all those who had been lost in recent months.

"She suffered so much because of me," Remus said. "She watched all the pain and agony that I endure each month. She nearly gave up her dream of having children because we were afraid of what having a werewolf for a father would do to them. She had to endure the social stigma of being a werewolf's wife." He paused and looked at Tonks with gentle, pain-filled eyes. He reached out to caress her cheek. "I don't want that for you, love. I don't want to make you go through all that she did. You deserve better."

Tonks closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. A tear leaked out from behind a closed eyelid as she reached up to cover his hand with hers.

"Life isn't easy for me, either," she said. "Remember, I'm a shape-shifter, too. There are a lot of prejudices against me, too."

"Tonks, I –"

She cut him off by putting a finger over his lips. "Remus, please, can't we just sit for a little while? I just … I'm just so happy to have you here, alive and whole, and I don't want to ruin it with another circular conversation."

He nodded, and put his arm around her, pulling her close. She settled down against him, feeling truly happy for the first time in months.

After a time, Remus realized that Tonks was asleep. Given how horrible she looked, he had a feeling that she needed the rest. So, rather than waking her, he shift himself into a more comfortable position lying on the couch with her pressed up against him. It was only a matter of time before, he, too, was asleep.

Tonks was completely disoriented when she woke up. She shifted slightly, then immediately froze. She turned her head to see that the sleeping form of Remus Lupin had become her personal pillow … and mattress.

Groaning inwardly, she ran her hand over her face. As many times as she had pictured them waking up like this, it had never been after a conversation like the one they had had … and it had rarely been wearing clothes.

She shifted again, trying to find a way to get up without putting all her weight on any one part of his body. Despite her attempts to be subtle, her slight movements woke him. Remus looked confused for a moment. Then, as he stared into her face, understanding dawned on his, bringing with it a deep red blush.

"Hi," she said uncertainly.

"Hi," he replied. "Look, Tonks, I …"

"Don't," she said quickly. "I'm as much to blame as you are."

"I guess we don't really have anything to be embarrassed about, right?"

She giggled. "Right. Try convincing your face of that."

He brought his hands up to his flaming cheeks. "Sorry. Strong blush reflex."

"Yeah, I have one, too."

"So I can see."

She giggled nervously again.

Remus glanced at his watch. "Wow, it's really late … or, early, if you will." His eyes widened. "Oh, no."

"What's wrong?"

"I promised Olivia that I'd be home when she got home from work. She's going to be in a panic."

"Go," Tonks said at once, clambering off him.

"But …"

She shook her head. "We're good, Remus. Really. Go see Olivia."

He stood up somewhat reluctantly. "Tonks, I …"

She looked at him expectantly. "Yes?"

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Thank you."

She stared after him with wide eyes. Even after he had gone home, she remained rooted in the same spot, a goofy smile spread across her face.