Author's Note: Takes place sometime between chapters 22 and 26, I don't even know. For the prompt 'Hisana acts as if she's Captain Unohana for a full day,' which…I mostly failed at. Oops.
"Are you really sure this is a good idea?" Tsukuda asked nervously as I braided up her hair. "I mean…won't taicho get mad?"
"Not if she doesn't know," I answered. "Besides, it isn't like we're harming anyone, right?"
"I guess not," Tsukuda said, pressing her fingers together nervously. "Still, it does seem a bit…childish. Not to mention, I always thought the saying 'place yourself in their shoes' was supposed to be, well, less literal and more metaphorical."
"As long as it works, who cares?" I shrugs. "And we won't know if it works or not until we try it out, will we?"
"We're going to get caught," Tsukuda moaned despairingly.
"Even if we do, what's the worst that could happen? We get ourselves banned from laundry duty?" I snorted, handing her the recently washed and dried garment. "More of a benefit than a drawback, if you ask me. Now go ahead—put it on."
"I…I still think that this is a bad idea," Tsukuda muttered, slipping on the haori with great trepidation. "I mean, there are other ways to increase my confidence and—oh." She stilled as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. "I look…wow."
"Right?" I asked grinning, throwing one arm around her shoulders. "You look badass, Tsukuda-san."
The faintest blush rose to her cheeks as she stared at her reflection, the pure white captain's haori lending an almost palpable air of authority to her slim figure. It was similar, I mused, to the feeling I got when I put on a doctor's lab coat for the first time. There were just some outfits that radiated control.
"Now, who are you?" I asked, voice soft. Tsukuda cleared her throat, chin tilting up the barest fraction.
"Tsukuda Ayame, member of the Fourth Division," she said without hesitation.
"And you are…?"
"Confident. Calm. In charge," she answered steadily.
"And what do you do the next time someone challenges your orders?" I questioned. What would Unohana-taicho do?
Tsukuda faltered for a moment before glancing back towards the mirror, as if searching for strength. It seemed to work since she straightened up resolutely, expression hardening.
"I make them regret it," she said, voice clear. "And I show them why it's a mistake to cross me."
"And why is that?" I asked.
"Because I'm a shinigami but more than that, I'm a healer and I deserve respect," Tsukuda said evenly. I was silent for a moment, feeling unexpected pride well up inside me.
"Now there's the Tsukuda Ayame I know," I murmured, grip tightening around her for a fraction of a second. She turned to face me, cheeks flushed and eyes oddly bright.
"Yukimura-san-" She began. That was as far as she got before the door slid open and an irate-looking Iemura stepped through.
"What is taking you two so long with the laundry-" He began before stepping dead in his tracks at the sight of the normally-timid seventh seat wearing his captain's haori. "Yukimura, explain yourself."
I huffed in indignation—Tsukuda was the one wearing the haori, so why did he automatically blame me?—and released Tsukuda from my grasp.
"Just a little experiment I'm conducting. You'll be happy to know that it was a success," I said, folding my arms across my chest. Iemura opened his mouth, no doubt prepared to go on a rant about 'propriety' and 'respect' and 'goddammit Yukimura you can't just go around playing dress-up with a captain's haori,' but I cut him off before he could continue.
"Say, Iemura-sempai," I said, eying him speculatively. "How would you like to experience life as a captain for the next ten minutes?"
"Hisana-san, one of the other officers said you were in here and I was wondering if you'd like to—please tell me that's not Unohana-taicho's haori."
"Hey Isane! Hey Hanataro! It's great to see you guys—come join us, we have plenty of room."
"You guys were throwing a party in here, and you didn't invite me? I'm hurt."
"Ogidou-san, what a delightful surprise! Come on in!"
"I brought a few friends, hope you don't mind?"
"Not at all, the more the merrier."
"You know, I don't actually think you've gotten to try the haori on yet, Yukimura-san," Tsukuda mused. "Which isn't really fair, since this was all your idea to begin with." Isane looked at me in surprise.
"Well, we can't have that," she protested. "I mean, half the division's gotten a turn at this point; you should get a turn too."
"Ah," I laughed. "That's not really necessary, guys, although I'm touched by the offer—" Iemura cut me off sharply.
"Nonsense. You're the one who deserves it most after taicho—" Then, before I could make sense of that inexplicable statement, he continued, "—and besides, given that this was all your fault, it's only right that you be just as complicit in this as the rest of us."
"It'll be too big on me," I protested half-heartedly. "I don't want the bottom to get dirty by trailing it on the floor." Ogidou grinned at me.
"That's alright, we can pull up a stool for you to stand on," he teased. I scowled and pointedly ignored him, grabbing the haori from Hanataro and slipping it on.
There was a beat of silence. Then—
Ogidou let out a snort. I glared furiously at him as he cracked up, doubling over in laughter.
"It's not funny!" I snapped, feeling heat rise to my cheeks.
"Of course it's not," Isane placated, although the corners of her mouth twitched tellingly. Next to her, I heard Ogidou mutter, "You're right, it's fucking hilarious," before Yamanaka stomped on his foot. "You look very intimidating, Hisana-san."
"I agree," Tsukuda said. It might have been more believable had the expression on her face not been one typically reserved for baby ducklings and fluffy kittens.
"I hate you all," I muttered, grumpily staring at my reflection. It did nothing to improve my mood. Stupid sleeves that went down to my knees…stupid tall people with their stupidly impractical clothing…I doubted I'd even be able to walk in this thing without tripping over my feet. Hanataro—the next shortest person after me—patted me on the shoulder commiseratingly.
The sound of the door opening momentarily distracted me from my increasingly foul mood and I looked over, an irritated response already forming on my lips.
"Yes, yes, I'm well aware that I look ridiculous so if you're going to laugh, do it n—oh, it's you, taicho," I finished weakly. Meanwhile, the rest of the room seemed frozen in horror.
Unohana glanced around before looking back at me, one eyebrow raised delicately. For a moment, I swore I caught a flicker of amusement cross her face before it was replaced by a sweet smile.
"I'd wondered where half of my division had wandered off to," she said mildly. I winced. "I'm glad to see that you were enjoying yourselves. Do continue—I wouldn't want you to stop on my account."
"Uh taicho, I swear this isn't what it looks like—"
"And Hisana?" She said, cutting me off. I snapped my mouth shut so quickly my teeth clacked together. "I have no objection to you wearing my clothes but I do request that you ask first next time." With that, she shut the door behind her.
For a moment, I just stood there in silence. Then I tossed the haori at Iemura before heading for the window.
"Yukimura! And where do you think you're going?" He barked.
"Off to commit seppuku via jumping out of a window, with any luck. Failing that, I'm off to the Thirteenth Division to see if Shiba-fukutaicho's offer of letting me join is still valid."
A/N: I love the 4th Division so much guys