I'm putting off writing anything else until this is done, because it's supposed to be short in the first place.

—

Little Hiccup had a nice dinner at home with his father, Gobber, Astrid, and the rest of the riders. He simply ate his fish and just smiled as his friends talked about all the fun adventures they had together. They told him all about the Edge, and the good he was doing out there.

He still din't know how he felt about dragons, though. Sure, Toothless just seemed to love him and stayed firmly at his side the whole time, but to hear that he loved them now and he had changed nearly everyone's mind about them?

It just didn't sit with him right.

"Um…can I say something?" He spoke up, meekly.

"Of course!" Stoick encouraged. "Speak up lad!"

Hiccup nodded and swallowed. "Uh…I don't know…I'm still…I still don't like dragons."

Everyone became quiet at this, and just listened.

"I know that I'm supposed to be the…expert on them, and whatever…but I'm supposed to want to kill them, or I did, yesterday. And I will when I go back."

Stoick laid a hand on his shoulder, which made him tense up. "We understand, son. We don't expect you to be the same Hiccup we know, and we don't want you to change. We…just want to give you something to look forward to."

Little Hiccup sniffed and rubbed under his eyes. "I never thought my future would be so bright." He curled in on himself, "has your Hiccup talked about back then? About my time?"

"No," Astrid said softly. "I've tried to get it out of him, but he doesn't like talking about it."

"Then, maybe I should? Would that be okay?"

Astrid squeezed his knee. "If there's something you need to say, then go right ahead. It's fresh to you, and it'll help you to get it out."

He nodded and swallowed, then he looked at the floor, suddenly shy.

Toothless rested his head on his lap, just content to be near him.

Finally, Hiccup spoke, baring his heart on a platter. "I don't like the way you guys treat me," he began. "Everyday, I try my hardest to fit in, and be like you guys. I know I'm not like the other vikings, but I want to be so badly. But no matter how hard I try, you guys seem to focus on all the stuff I do wrong. I feel like a complete failure, and a waste of space and resources."

"Hiccup, you're not a failure—" Stoick began.

But Hiccup shrugged away from him. "Now you say that!" There were tears in his eyes. "You probably don't remember what you said a few days ago, but it's been clanging around inside my head and…you're right, dad." He looked down to his toes as a tear fell down his cheek.

Stoick swallowed thickly, fearing the worst. "What…what did I say, son?"

Hiccup bit his quivering lip, suddenly wanting to take it all back. "Please don't hit me…"

"I would never—" Oh, but he would. He did. Several times, as his father hit him. But gods, he regretted it. "I promise, I won't."

Hiccup spoke so softly that the few on the other side of the room could barely hear him. "You said that I was the one that killed Mr. and Mrs. Hacksaw, and that I was a curse from the gods. That I was your punishment for not saving mom…and you said it was my fault she had been taken, and you wished I had never been born."

Stoick remembered that. He had been drinking, a common evening habit in those days. Two people had died that day during a dragon raid, and Stoick had to shoulder that burden. Hiccup had gone for water in the well, and ended up breaking the lever at the top, right in the middle of the raid. The fires had been what had killed that couple in their home. In a drunken mind, Stoick found Hiccup too easy to blame.

Hiccup was sobbing, and Stoick had been rendered silent. "You wished that I was the one who had died, so that you could finally be free from me messing up!"

Astrid said nothing, but rested her hand on his back, rubbing it soothingly.

"And you were right! It was my fault! Everyone else said so too—"

The other kids vaguely remembered that day. But more so, their words and actions from that time just seemed like a guilty haze.

Spitelout had told his son that Hiccup had broken the well. In turn, Snotlout told the other kids, and they mercilessly picked on him.

Way to go, genius.

You're a hazard.

I wish the dragons would take you.

Go jump off a cliff.

For someone so small, you sure do a lot of damage.

Why don't you just stay at home, where you can't mess anything up? But I'm sure you'd screw that up too.

It's only because you're the chief's son that you haven't been exiled yet. It won't save you forever.

Get lost, roach.

You shouldn't be allowed to eat. You don't deserve rations.

Astrid just sat quietly, doing her best to console him. She remembered that raid too, and despite Snotlout's badgering, she never said a word to him. Her parents had trained her well enough to be nice to Hiccup, as he was the chief's son. But if it was too hard to be nice, she just didn't say anything. Which meant many months of silence.

Gobber's gut churned. He remember vaguely telling Hiccup to get up and get over it. He didn't mean it, lad. He's just mad at the situation. But that hadn't really been much of a consolation. He just wanted Hiccup to get back to work.

"And if I hadn't come here…I would have—" He stopped himself, biting back a sob.

"What?" Urged Stoick, his heart in his throat. "What were you going to do?" Though he had a feeling he already knew.

"I was going to kill myself."

Stoick stood suddenly and scooped his son into his arms, and began wailing. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare!" He cried, nearly crushing him. "I'm so sorry Hiccup…I had no idea."

Hiccup just clung to his father and wept into his shoulder.

The others in the room were in various states of distress and guilt.

Finally, Hiccup pushed away from Stock slightly and wiped his face with his sleeve. "Thank you…"

Stoick kissed his forehead. "No, thank you for telling me. For telling all of us."

Snotlout spoke up. "Man, I am so sorry for all of that—"

"Me too!"

"And me!"

"And also me!"

Snotlout rubbed the back of his head. "I didn't hate you, as much as it seemed like I did…I had some…personal beef I was dealing with. And making you feel like crap was how I felt better. I'm sorry, you didn't deserve my insults or my poundings."

Hiccup managed a small smile. "Thanks Snotlout. That means a lot."

Astrid came over and crouched so she was eye-level with him. Then she delicately brushed the bangs from his face. "You are so brave, Hiccup. By telling all of us this, you just did something really helpful for your future self."

He blushed slightly as she cupped his cheek.

"You'll forget what you saw here, that you were ever in the future, but I pray that the relief we give you stays and you grow strong. It's going to be rough going back, but you have some important battles to face soon."

"I know," he said resolutely. Though, Hiccup had other things in mind.

He wasn't going back, not if he could help it.

—

The fire was extinguished, Big Hiccup doing most of the work.

"Gods this was so much easier with dragons," he muttered to himself as he dropped the bucket on the ground.

"This wouldn't have happened if you just did what I said," said Fishlegs to Snotlout, starting everything all over again.

Hiccup groaned, "guys! It doesn't matter who's responsible! If you see something that needs to be done, do it!"

"But I couldn't!" Protested Fishlegs, "I was putting out another fire!"

"And I was fighting a dragon!"

"We're not allowed to fight dragons!"

"Stop!" Hiccup shouted, catching their attention. "Snotlout, if someone asked you to do something, why didn't you do it?"

"Because I'm not listening to Fishface! And I'm listening to some stranger that starts yelling at me! Who are you anyway!?"

Hiccup smirked. "You really don't know?"

"You kinda look like my shrimp cousin Hiccup, but you're clearly too tall to be him."

"What if you aged him by five years?" Astrid posted.

Snotlout made a box with his fingers and closed one eye. "Hmm…maybe? Though I doubt Hiccup could ever get that tall."

Hiccup gave him a blank look. "Snotlout, I am Hiccup, from five years in the future. Gothi sent me here."

"What?!" Snotlout shouted. "Why would she do a thing like that?"

"Because, we're making a medicine and we're short an ingredient, something that's not in the future anymore." He was beginning to feel like a broken record.

"Okay, but why you? Surely, I'm a better pick. I should probably follow you and make sure you don't screw this up and get everyone killed."

Hiccup rolled his eyes. Good ole Snotlout. "Thanks, but I'll be fine."

"What in blue blazes—!?" Stoick's voice cut off the argument as he and the baker stared at the husk that used to be the baker's house. "Hiccup! I told you to stay inside! What did you do!?"

"ME!? I'm the one that put this out!"

"Then who's responsible for this!?"

Astrid and Hiccup pointed at Snotlout, while Fishlegs and Snotlout pointed at each other.

The chief started yelling. It wasn't even words. He was just red in the face and yelling obscenities while throwing his fists around.

Just like old times.

"Hiccup!" He finally spat out.

"Yes sir," Hiccup answered, with no sass this time.

"You, and you, and you, and you." He pointed to the four teens assembled. "Go take a hike!"

"But Astrid—"

"GO!" He bellowed, and lumbered off without a word.

"What did you do?" Asked Astrid.

"He was born," laughed Snotlout.

"Alright," Hiccup said, clapping his hands. "Who's up for a camping trip?"

—

The next morning, Little Hiccup awoke with a smile. He looked over to the sleeping dragon across the room and sang, "good morning Toothless!"

The Nightfury looked up him with a blink. It wasn't often that Hiccup was this active in the morning.

He hopped up and got dressed, tying the pants tightly around his small waist, and tucking the access fabric into his boots.

He skipped down the stairs, finding Stoick sitting by the fire.

"You're up early."

"I couldn't sleep," Hiccup tried to shrug casually. "I was too excited to spend the day with you and my new friends."

Stoick gave him a broad smile. "Well son, we'll have a nice breakfast together for sure, but then I'll have some chiefing to do. Since there's so many people sick, some of the winter preparations fell to the wayside. But I'll be back for dinner."

Hiccup grinned, he was actually counting on that. "That's okay! I understand."

Stoick placed a warm, gentle hand on the back of his head. "Are you doing okay, son? You gave me a good fright last night."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay now. Astrid was right, just talking about it made me feel better."

"Alright then. If any thoughts like that come up in the future, you just make sure to tell me, okay?"

Hiccup doubted he'd ever feel that way again. "I promise."

Stoick smiled back, but heard his young son's voice in his head. A memory that haunted him from years ago. A sentence that had quelled his anger and strengthened his patience.

I don't want to live anymore.

"What do you feel like? I've made some toast and some eggs…"

After Stoick left, Little Hiccup made his way back upstairs and began to sift through his belongings.

He came to find the leggings he was currently wearing belonged to Astrid, as his older self's pants were even bigger and missed a third of the leg on the left side. Hiccup winced at the sight. So he had one pair of leggings for the night. That was fine, he'd deal. A clean tunic, a cask of water, some bread and dried yak jerky...this would work.

His room had changed a lot in five years. In fact, one half of the room was completely taken up by a slate rock, where Toothless was currently laying and watching him. He used to have a lot of great drawings about dragon slaying on his walls, but they were gone, replaced with schematics for what looked like a dragon tail and some other foreign ideas. One looked like a sword.

He glanced back at Toothless. Something had changed his mind along the way. Something had made him decide to betray his tribe and befriend a dragon.

Though, given how he had left things at home with his father, betrayal didn't seem that far-fetched. But then he killed a dragon, and now he's a hero.

There seemed to be too many holes in Astrid's story.

Leaving behind these confusing thoughts, he dug out his knapsack and began to pack. Tonight, he'd sleep here at the house, but in the early morning, he'd sneak out and hide until the next day. That way, they wouldn't be able to send him back!

But first, he'd need to find a good hiding spot.

Before he could even consider it, the front door opened and Astrid called out, "Hiccup?"

He quickly threw the pack under his bed as he heard her coming up the stairs. "Uh uh uh just a minute!"

She came into his room anyway, as she always did. "Hey!"

"Hey! Hi! How—how are you?"

"I'm good, Stoick said you were up, so I thought I'd come get you. We didn't really get the chance to take a tour through the village, and I know a lot of people want to talk to you—"

He paled. "Uh, yeah sounds…sounds great."

Astrid picked up on it immediately. "What's wrong?"

"No, nothing…nothing's wrong. Honest!"

Toothless stood from his spot and stretched, then he trotted over and nudged Hiccup's knapsack out from under the bed.

"Oh! Hey, what's that?" He feigned.

"Hiccup, no matter what age, you are a terrible liar."

"I…I don't know what you're talking about!"

"You don't want to go back to the past, do you?"

Hiccup set his mouth into a tight line and avoided looking at her.

"Look, I don't blame you, especially with what you said last night…but you have to go back! I need my Hiccup back."

Hiccup sneered out of habit. "Why? What's so different? In a few years, I'll look like him! Is it just because you hate seeing the way I used to be? You hate seeing the Hiccup who was a useless waste of space!?"

Astrid raised her voice, "shut up!"

Hiccup recoiled, wincing heavily and curling in on himself.

Bracing for a hit.

Instead, Astrid rested a hand on his arm, and then moved down to take his hand. "Come with me."

Hiccup nodded minutely, and followed.

Together, they travelled up the steps to the Great Hall. Astrid only let go to pull open the doors and then took his hand again.

Inside, two dozen or so vikings laid out on cots. The room smelled, as buckets sat next to the occupied beds. He could hear disgusting coughing and moaning. Still, he followed her to the corner of the room.

Finally, Astrid came to stop in front of a pair of beds, occupied by her parents. They were both asleep, but gods they looked awful.

"Do you remember why we brought you here in the first place? My Hiccup has to get an ingredient for Gothi's medicine. Without it…they'll probably…"

Now Hiccup felt guilty, and extremely angry. But all he was able to do was ball up his fists and tremble.

"Alright, lets talk." She urged him out of the Hall.

Outside, she sat on the step and patted the seat next to her. He complied, dropping without grace and winding up into an anxious ball.

"I don't get it." He finally said.

"What? I thought I was pretty clear…"

"No no…" He groaned. "Why would I go? Why send me back? I..." His lips curled into a snarl as he sprang out of his ball. "I don't owe these people anything! All they ever did was ridicule me! I don't know why I would willingly choose to go into battle with a ferocious dragon just for this stupid village! You said it yourself! My father disowns me and I befriend a dragon! So why, why would I risk my neck back then, and now?!"

Astrid leaned back, crossing her ankles. She seemed unperturbed by his outburst. "I've wondered that myself the last few years. And I'm sure Big Hiccup figured this all out already." She gave him a disarming smile, to try to calm his anger.

It didn't completely work, but he wasn't yelling anymore.

"Perhaps I should start from the beginning. About 4 and a half years ago, you shot a Nightfury out of the sky."

This was surprising, to say the least. "What? I did?"

"That Nightfury was Toothless. You shot him out of the sky, and you ripped his left tail fin off."

"Toothless is a—I did…how?"

"You had some sort of machine, I think it was called The Mutilator."

"Ha! So it works!"

Astrid frowned.

"Sorry, go on."

"Anyway…you told me that you found him in the woods later that day, wrapped up in a bola, presented for you to kill on a platter."

"But I didn't…" Hiccup finished.

"You did not."

Hiccup merely gave a soft sigh.

"Whatever it was, you cut him loose. But his tail was damaged, so he wasn't going to make it on his own. So, you set out to build him a new tail."

"And…when did I get disowned? When I cut him loose?"

"No, Stoick didn't know about it. No one believed you when you said you shot down the Nightfury."

"That's the first part of this story that makes sense." He droned.

She smacked him on the arm, not enough to hurt. "Anyway…while you were studying and training Toothless, you started to pick up on things. Nuisances. And during dragon training, you used what you learned to subdue the dragons in the Kill Ring, and shot up to the top of the class."

"Cheating without getting caught is still cheating."

"And that's what made me mad." She added with a grin. "I was convinced you were cheating, so I followed you into the woods. When I found the cove where you hid Toothless, I waited to surprise you with my axe. But in the wait time…" She paused for a moment, going back to the day in her head. "You were calling out for him, and you said you were leaving Berk forever. At that moment, even at the height of popularity, you decided to run. Granted, you had been picked to kill the Monstrous Nightmare…"

"Yeah, running sounds like the smart thing to do."

"But I threatened to out you to the tribe, so you…kind of kidnapped me…which worked out in the end, because I came to understand you. But, that flight was interrupted when we found the Red Death. Just this…huge dragon that consumed everything."

At this point, Hiccup was sitting again and leaned towards her, listening intently. Unbeknownst to them, several others were listening as well, curious about how all this had really happened.

"You knew that we had to do something about it, but not if it meant harming Toothless. So…you decided that the middle of the Fight was the best time to renounce your viking ways."

"Oh boy…"

"And that's when Stoick disowned you. He took Toothless as a guide and with the entire tribe, they set sail to the Nest."

Hiccup groaned. "And then what?"

"You and I watched them sail off, knowing that we'd never see them again. And at that moment, you said you wished you had killed Toothless. I asked why you didn't…you looked me in the eye and said 'I looked at him, and I saw myself.'"

"Well, what does that mean?"

"Perhaps you saw how vulnerable he was. How trapped and alone...and how he was resigned to death."

"Oh…"

"So then, you decided to risk it all. We semi-trained the dragons in the arena and flew off to save the village. You killed the Red Death and lost your leg, but you've been hailed as a hero ever since." She rested a hand on the back of his neck, playing with his hair.

"But I still had to kill a dragon."

She shrugged. "Well, Stoick seemed a lot more forgiving when you just came to save him. He said he was proud of you."

Hiccup gasped slightly, and then in a voice much too small he asked, "he was proud of me?"

"Yes." She kissed his forehead. "And so was I."

He considered all of this heavily, and then glanced back at the Hall. "Okay. I'll go back."