Author's Note: Here be smut. You have been warned! I did hold off on the kink, might put some light stuff in later, but I'll probably just write a kinky one-shot or something with the more intense stuff.
Jane's mind and heart raced, but she couldn't make sense of everything that was going through her mind. The truth was out, now. He knew everything. He'd said he loved her. That was more than she'd ever hoped for, and yet…
"Why are you here in LA, Kurt?" she asked. "You've been single for two years, so why now? What's changed?"
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his shoulders sag a little, and part of her felt bad. She'd always imagined that if Kurt declared his love for her, she'd throw herself into his arms and kiss him and never let him go. But there were things to consider now.
She had a life here. Friends. A business. Okay, not many friends, and her business was still a fledgling, but now that he'd decided he wanted her, was he going to try to uproot her and move her back to New York?
Kurt answered slowly. "After you stopped talking to me, I'd mostly put you out of my mind. Unless Patterson or Reade mentioned how you were doing, I…tried not to think about you. But then Patterson told me to look up your website, for your studio. And for the first time in five years, I saw a picture of you."
Jane looked over at him, unable to help but comment. "Not a great photo, but it was better than the others my assistant took that day."
"No," he said, meeting her eyes with a sincerity that flustered her. "It's beautiful. You're beautiful. And that picture made me remember…everything. Every moment I looked at you, and you looked at me, and we almost got somewhere, but then we didn't. And those moments when…we did."
Jane drank some more of her beer, his words provoking her own memory. Her, waiting outside his apartment block to kiss him. Him, stepping in close in the locker room, telling her there was a bright side to Pellington barring her from the FBI before kissing her. His hands on her face. Her lips on his. Their breaths mingling, shaking with the intensity of their emotions.
"You haven't answered my question," she said, her voice too husky. "Why are you here?"
"To put an end to this, one way or another. This waiting, this…wanting." He took her hand gently, held it between both of his. "I've said enough. I've been the one getting what I thought I wanted, while you left New York to try to leave the pain behind. What happens next is your call, Jane. You can throw me out in the street. You can use me for a night and then tell me to get out of your life. Or we can see where this goes, together."
Jane had to remember to breathe, the thought of sleeping with him taking root in her mind yet again. His hands around hers were warm, tempting. She had to focus to keep her mind from dropping into the gutter.
"But you won't leave New York," she said, needing to hear him say it.
Kurt didn't need to answer for her to know his response. It was there in the disappointment in his eyes. Suddenly, she couldn't bear to hear him confirm it.
She drained her beer bottle and slammed it down on the table, then looked up into his face. "I don't want to make any decisions tonight."
He nodded and stood up. "I understand. I'll leave you to think about it. I'm… I'm sorry I dropped all this on you."
He got one step towards the door before she was on her feet, knowing she should take the time to process the new information, but not caring. "No."
Kurt stopped, turned, waited. His confusion and his hurt were hard to bear, but she made herself speak instead of act.
"I don't want to think, Kurt. I don't want to have a complicated conversation. I just…want to take every moment as it comes, all right?"
He swallowed hard. Nodded.
Jane grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him toward her. He was already wrapping his arms around her waist as she kissed him, hard but slow, her hand sliding up his stubbled jaw to the back of his neck.
Kurt let her lead, holding her close and meeting every one of her kisses with equal intensity. God, she'd missed this, missed him. His scent made her lightheaded with need; the faint taste of beer on his lips was nothing compared to the familiarity of his kiss. She needed to pull back, assess the situation, but she couldn't bear to, remembering the other instances that they'd kissed, the circumstances that had gotten in the way after each time.
Finally, she made herself break away, berating herself for her fear. This was Los Angeles. They weren't working any cases, weren't about to be interrupted by the team or captured by the CIA. They had time. Even if that time was just tonight.
They were both breathing hard, searching each other's faces. Kurt's expression was guarded, but she caught sight of his hope, his pain, his desire before she pressed her forehead to his, closing her eyes. "I missed kissing you," she admitted softly.
"Then kiss me again."
She couldn't help but smile, opening her eyes to watch his reaction as she spoke. "I hope kissing isn't all you're expecting. I didn't wear my best underwear tonight because it's comfortable."
His eyes widened just a little, her bold statement taking him by surprise, the need in his face intensifying and wiping out the traces of hurt. "Jane…"
She kissed him again, and for the first time he pressed his hips to hers, letting her feel his arousal. Jane hummed her approval against his lips, standing on tiptoe to rub against him, right where she wanted him. He grabbed her ass to steady her, letting her move as she pleased.
Her mind skipping ahead, Jane broke the kiss with a curse. "I really hope you have condoms, because mine are probably a year out of date by now."
Kurt smiled. "Think four will be enough for tonight?"
Jane pretended to consider, her heart pounding with anticipation. "I guess we'll find out." Before he could respond, she stepped out of his arms and headed for her bedroom door, pulling her shirt over her head.
He caught her before she reached the bed, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and trailing hungry kisses over the bird tattoo on her neck. Jane melted back against him, rubbing her ass against his hard cock. He responded by stroking over her breasts through her bra, then pulling down the cups to roll her nipples between his fingers. She arched her back, unbuttoning her jeans and wishing they were loose enough for gravity to carry them the rest of the way to the floor.
She got them down to the tops of her thighs before he slipped his hand down over her underwear, cupping her mound in his palm, his other hand still teasing one of her nipples. Jane sighed as she ground against his touch, knowing he could feel the fabric between them was already soaked by her need for him. He nipped her earlobe, kissed her neck, let her rub shamelessly against his hand in front and his cock behind her.
Unable to bear not being able to kiss him, she spun around again, capturing his lips desperately, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Kurt broke the kiss only to pull the garment up over his head, bringing his lips back to hers the instant he could. Jane tangled her fingers in his chest hair, tugging very lightly and making him catch his breath before she dipped her head, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to one of his nipples, flicking her tongue against it.
Kurt's voice was breathless, a little surprised. "You're the first woman I've been with who's ever done that."
"Guess you've been picking the wrong women." She raised her head to gaze up at him. "Or doesn't it do anything for you?"
"Everything you're doing works for me." His return gaze was intense, hungry. "Do whatever you want."
"Ditto," she whispered, and their lips crashed together again, her fingers lightly pinching the nipple she hadn't yet tasted.
Somehow, she ended up on the bed, and he helped her wriggle out of the skinny jeans, leaving her in her best underwear, waiting for his verdict. Standing at the end of the bed, he openly appraised her body, taking in all the new tattoos, all the spots where the laser had faded them enough for future cover-ups. "You're stunning."
A little self-conscious, she shrugged and smiled. "I'm a work in progress."
She let herself fall onto her back and reached out for him. Kurt stripped down to his boxer briefs before joining her, and she didn't try to hide her appreciative glance as he stretched out beside her on his side.
She'd expected him to try to get somewhere, to get her off so that he could get off, but instead he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, slow and provocative, his tongue barely flirting with hers before retreating, then returning. Jane found herself relaxing, enjoying his technique, the warm slide of his hand over the small of her back making her sigh into his mouth. When he unsnapped her bra, she pushed the straps down her arms distractedly, still kissing him, not jumping ahead, not yet.
He pulled back, stroked his fingers down the side of her face. "You good?"
"You slowed down. Why?" she asked.
"Too slow?" He raised an eyebrow.
"No. Yes." She shrugged. "I don't know. I want more, but I want this, too."
He smiled, like he understood exactly what she meant. "Then we do this until you can't stand it anymore."
More kisses, sweet and longing, hungry but restrained. He trailed his fingertips up and down her spine, making her shiver. She shifted closer, her breasts pressing against his chest, her hand stroking the nape of his neck, one of his thighs slipping between hers. She couldn't help but tilt her hips, rubbing her clit against his leg, and his lips curved a little against hers as she gave a light gasp.
Her body took on a will of its own as he shifted her more securely against him, and the delicious tension of an impending climax began to build. She rode his leg as their kisses became shorter, harder, her breath shaking as her muscles coiled gradually tighter.
Kurt reached down between them, and she almost protested, but he only disrupted her rhythm for a second, pulling her underwear to one side before pressing his thigh back into place against her.
She made a small, appreciative noise against his lips as her own wetness covered his skin, making it easier for her quick, urgent movements to hit the perfect spot each time. Almost at the edge, she forgot to kiss him and just moved, seeking that last final push over the edge.
Kurt murmured soft encouragement against her ear, and she was done for, clutching him tightly as she ground hard against his leg, a husky cry of relief tearing from her throat. As she trembled through waves of aftershocks, he found her lips again.
"Mmmm…" She opened his eyes to find him watching her, and the expression on his face... She could only describe it as love. Or maybe she'd just fucked all the sense out of herself against his leg. "Kurt…"
"Mind if I take over for a little while?"
"You always did like being in control," she murmured, letting him roll her onto her back.
He pulled off her underwear before kneeling between her legs. "As I remember, I used to have to fight you for it."
Jane shivered as he trailed his lips over her inner thigh, first one leg, then the other. Already, she was craving her next orgasm. "I'm strategising."
He gave her a mischievous look. "Don't let me distract you."
Then he was tasting her for the first time, unhurried and confident, his tongue sending a shiver through her still-sensitive body. She let her eyes drift closed, her head fall back, as he set about learning exactly what made her sigh, what made her arch with pleasure, and what made her—
"Ah—there!" She grabbed a fistful of the bedcovers reflexively as he found the perfect spot to drive her crazy, if he'd only continue for a while. For a moment, she thought he'd lost it, but then he returned, learning fast, his stubble enticingly scratchy against her thighs as he pressed his mouth tight against her.
And he was nothing if not persistent.
The orgasm curled her toes, shook her thighs, tore a sharp cry from her lungs with every cresting pulse until every bit of tension had been sapped from her muscles, and she lounged on the mattress, her skin so sensitive to the small currents in the air that it almost tingled.
Kurt returned to her side, and she wrapped her arms around him with a welcoming kiss, tasting herself on his lips. "Good distraction."
"Not quite up to taking control yet?" he teased. "Want me to leave you to sleep?"
"Oh, it's on." Her limbs were still shaky, but she still easily managed to straddle him, pinning his wrists to the bed on either side of his head.
He raised an eyebrow as he looked up at her. "Why does this not surprise me?"
"Don't suppose you happened to bring your cuffs?" She felt his cock jump in response to her words, and grinned. "Maybe I wasn't far off with the spanking thing."
He twisted out of her grip and rolled them over, pinning her this time. "Veto on the kink for tonight. Not that I'm not willing to try, but for now…"
"Just us," she agreed, and he gave her a soft kiss in response.
"You know how many times I've replayed that night in my head?"
She reached down to slip her hand into his underwear, her arousal beginning to build again at his obvious need for her.
"Maybe as many as I have," she said, stroking upward slowly and watching him struggle not to just pin her down and take what he wanted.
He closed his eyes, sighing her name as she continued to provocatively stroke him, too slow to get him anywhere. In that moment, she knew she couldn't keep him waiting any longer, no matter how long he would have let her torment him.
She released his cock to tug at his underwear. "I want you, Kurt..."
Kurt gave her a brief, heated kiss, then sat up, reaching for a condom. As he put it on, Jane sat behind him, leaving a line of kisses from one of his shoulders, across the back of his neck, to the other shoulder. The goosebumps that rose on his skin in response to her touch made her smile.
He pulled her into his lap, and she didn't waste any more time, pressing her forehead against his and watching his face as she took him inside her for the first time.
"Jane… God, Jane…" Kurt never took his eyes off her, letting her see exactly what he was feeling as she shifted a little, then took him even deeper. His desire was obvious, but the tender undercurrent was unmistakable.
No one made her feel the way Kurt did—as though the universe could end around them, and he just wouldn't notice, because she was more important. The intense connection between them was even stronger now they were physically joined, and she closed her eyes, overwhelmed, as she began to rise and fall slowly in his lap.
Kurt nipped the sensitive skin between her neck and her shoulder between his teeth, then soothed it with a kiss. Jane couldn't help but increase her pace, her pulse spiking as he met her movements with thrusts up into her, driving them both towards an inevitable conclusion.
She didn't care if she finished or not this time. All she wanted was to make him lose all control. But she knew he wouldn't let himself come without taking care of her first, so she slipped her hand down between them to find her clit.
Kurt gave a soft growl of approval, his lips finding hers for a moment before he lay back, so he could drive harder into her from below. Jane rode him hard, the instinctive coordination of their movements as much of a turn-on to her as her fingers against her clit.
Then she figured out just the right way to tilt her hips each time she took him in, and within a few of his powerful thrusts, she was done, falling forward onto her hands as each wave of pleasure washed through her system. Hazily, she caught a glimpse of Kurt's grin before he intensified his movements, seeking his own climax. Seconds later, he breathed a curse as he finished, holding her tightly as he drove as deep as he could get.
Jane tried to regain her breath, her mind finally catching up with her body. She and Kurt Weller had just had incredible sex, and now she had no clue how to react.
He pressed his lips against her temple,the simple, affectionate gesture making her smile. She raised her head to look down at him, wanting to get an idea of what he was thinking.
Kurt's expression was soft, satisfied, with no trace of regret, but a little apprehension that matched her own feelings. He brushed her hair back from her face, as though he was trying to read her, too. Whatever conclusion he came to, it was enough to ease his mind, and he lifted his head to kiss her.
The silence between them was comfortable rather than awkward as Jane rolled off him, and Kurt dealt with the condom while Jane pulled back the bedcovers, knowing she'd start to feel chilly in a few minutes. Kurt got into bed beside her, and she relaxed into his embrace with a smile.
After a while, she said softly, "I guess one of us has to say something sooner or later."
Kurt stroked her hair. "We've been saying things this whole time. Just not with words."
Jane considered the way they were positioned—facing each other, holding each other, brushing light, repetitive touches against each other's skin. "I guess so," she said, smiling slightly.
"I do have to ask, though. How did I do, compared to the fantasy version of me in your head?"
Jane's heart squeezed at the tiny hint of insecurity in his voice. "Trust me. You have nothing to worry about there." After a moment, she frowned. "Do I?"
He tilted up her head to look into her face. "Jane... I can't even believe that this is real. That we finally did this. I can't even put into words how much you shouldn't be worried."
She kissed him, a little overwhelmed by the way he was looking at her. It reminded her of the way he'd been after Patterson had mistakenly confirmed that she was Taylor Shaw—like she was everything to him. But this time she didn't have to fit into the shoes of the person he remembered. He knew her better than anyone else, the way she really was. That made it easier to bear, even as she knew she now had a very difficult decision to make.
Not tonight. Tonight is just us.