Author's Note: One more chapter after this. :) I've somehow managed to make them take a break from sex for just a little while, but only because there's serious business to discuss. Oh, and for those of you who were asking when I'm going back to Torture Without You, the answer is: for NaNoWriMo (National Novel-Writing Month), which is November! So I'm going to be planning during the rest of this month (as well as writing other fics) and then focusing on nothing but TWY until I hopefully get it finished sometime in November. That's the plan, at least.
"Hmmm… There's something different about you two. Did you do something with your hair? Oh, wait, no—you both actually look happy for once." Patterson stood up to give first Jane, then Kurt a hug. "Weller, let me see your tattoo."
As they all sat down in the café where Jane and Patterson often met up for lunch, Kurt held out his arm to show her Jane's handiwork—he'd removed the dressing that morning. "You ever gonna start calling me Kurt? I'm not your boss anymore."
"And don't I know it," Patterson said, rolling her eyes. "Being my own boss is hella stressful. And making everyone else work overtime is even more stressful. I almost cancelled today so I could work through my lunch hour, but then Jane mentioned she'd tattooed you and I had to see."
"So is that a no?" Kurt grinned and checked out the café's menu. Beside him, Jane hooked her foot around his, entwining their legs under the table.
"Old habits die hard," Patterson said. "And if I started calling you by your first name, you might start calling me by mine. And we all know that's not cool."
After they'd all figured out what they were eating and placed their orders, Patterson leaned back in her seat, laughing a little. "Jane, the tattoo so does not cover up the hickey."
Jane rubbed her neck, trying not to smile and failing miserably. "Don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, come on, you guys. I've been spectating and counselling this thing between you two for seven years. At least do me the courtesy of admitting that you're finally together."
Unable to stop himself, Kurt leaned in and kissed Jane gently. She smiled up at him, softness in her eyes.
"Okay, that's as far as I wanna see you go." Patterson rolled her eyes, then smiled. "But seriously? Congratulations. I'm really happy for you both."
"Thanks," Jane said, picking up her coffee cup. "We don't know what's gonna happen yet. Who's moving where. But you're gonna have time between Wizardville 2 and Wizardville 3, right? Whatever happens, you should come and hang out with us for a while."
Patterson shuddered. "Don't even say 'Wizardville 3'. I don't even want to think about that. I just need to get 2 out the door on Friday, and then my life can resume for more than thirty seconds."
"You don't ever miss working for me?" Kurt asked. Afreen and Stuart were excellent at their jobs, but no one would ever hold a candle to Patterson.
"You ask me that every time you see me." Patterson shook her head. "And the answer is always the same. Yes, and no."
"Just as long as you know you're always welcome while I'm deputy director," Kurt said. "And I'm pretty sure anyone who got the job after me would take you on, too."
"Thank you." Patterson looked touched and uncomfortable all at once. Five years or more since she'd seen Borden blow himself up, and he suspected she still had unresolved issues about that time period in her life. She never wanted to talk about it, though.
"I want to hear about your love life," Jane said, as the waitress brought their food over. "I know you've been busy, but weren't you thinking about setting up an online dating profile?"
Patterson shot her a pointed look. "The way I remember it, I said I'd do it if you did it, and then you never did it."
Kurt tried not to get possessive at the thought of Jane meeting guys off the internet for dates. Not that she had—but the idea annoyed him anyway.
"You know what happened the last time I…" Jane glanced sideways at Kurt, then ended with, "Never mind."
"What?" Kurt asked, frowning.
"You kinda have to tell him now." Patterson took a huge bite of her sandwich, looking entertained.
Jane sighed and looked over at him. "About four years ago, I got extremely wasted and dragged a guy home with me. He kind of…got attached and didn't want to leave the next day, so I, um, put him in an arm-lock and kicked him out by force." Before Kurt could demand more details to run a full investigation on the guy, she added, "I was completely safe. I think he might actually have cried. And I haven't seen him since, so…"
"I hate to admit it, but I actually feel a little sorry for the guy," Kurt said, reminding himself that Jane's self-defence skills were off the charts, and that he should probably relax his fists a little.
"Breathe, Weller, breathe," Patterson stage-whispered.
"You talked to Reade lately?" Jane asked, changing the subject.
"Not yet this month," Patterson said. "But you can bet I'm gonna be texting him on the way back to work…"
Kurt and Jane exchanged a long-suffering glance. "Everyone we've ever met is gonna know about this before we tell them," Kurt murmured.
"Hey, it'll save us some time." Jane shrugged and stole a fry from his plate.
After lunch, as Patterson went back to debugging hell, Kurt and Jane decided to walk along the shoreline for a while. Barefoot, they walked half a mile or so before turning back, hand in hand the whole way.
"I'm surprised you didn't suggest jogging instead of walking," Kurt said, as they skirted the ruins of a child's abandoned sand castle.
Jane shrugged. "Most mornings I still jog before work, or hit the gym. Today I'm feeling pretty lazy, though. I may need to go back to bed when we get to my place."
"Hmm… I guess it'd be rude to let you go to bed all by yourself." Kurt was watching the horizon, but the tiny smile at the edges of his lips betrayed his intentions.
Jane laughed and leaned in to him, kissing his jaw. He dropped his shoes on the sand and scooped her into his arms, and she let her own shoes fall as she wrapped her legs around his waist and gave him a long, lingering kiss on the lips.
Noticing an evil look in his eye as she broke off, she wriggled, trying to get him to put her down. "Don't you dare, Kurt Weller!"
"What?" He took one step towards the sea.
"Water is not good for your tattoo right now, so unless you want to spend another hour getting it touched up…"
Kurt considered her for a moment, as though trying to decide whether she was bluffing. Then he laughed, letting her slide back down his body onto her feet. "Lucky escape."
"Come on. You can't think of a better way to get me wet than to throw me in the sea?" she murmured in his ear, then ducked out of his embrace, grabbed her shoes and began to run back along the beach.
By the time he caught up with her, they were almost back amongst the crowd of tourists, and they had to hold themselves in check. Reaching the sidewalk again, they donned their shoes and headed in the general direction of Jane's apartment.
"I can't believe you came down here to tell me how you feel, and you only took a long weekend off work." Jane kissed his shoulder through his shirt as they walked, softening her statement.
"Honestly? I didn't think I'd need any more time. I thought I'd walk in, things would be awkward, there was a fifty percent chance you'd tell me to get out and never come back…" Kurt sighed. "I didn't for one second expect you to hug me the moment you saw me. I figured you'd pretty much have put me behind you by now."
"I tried," Jane admitted. "I asked Patterson and Reade not to mention you—which is why I didn't know about Nas—and I got my tattoos removed, and I tried to move forward. In some areas of my life, I was more successful than others."
"I wish we could go back." Kurt squeezed her hand.
"Maybe we needed to do what we did." Jane shrugged. "After what happened with Shepherd and Roman, I…wasn't great company for a while. Shepherd was on the FBI's Most Wanted list, but she was still my mother. I had to deal with what was happening to her. And Roman? Even now, it hurts me to think of him out there on his own."
"I know." Kurt slid his arm around her waist, and she wrapped an arm around him in return as they slowed their pace a little. "I wish I'd been there for you, when you were going through that."
Another man might have said it and not meant it. Not Kurt; he was completely focused on her, sympathy in his eyes.
She shook her head, smiling sadly. "It's not your fault. I pushed you away and then moved a couple of thousand miles southwest. And maybe if we had been together at that point, what I was going through might have broken us up."
Noticing a drugstore up ahead, she changed the subject. "I think we might need to make a slight detour before we go home."
Kurt followed her gaze and grinned, realising what she had in mind. "I'm still half convinced this is a dream I'm gonna wake up from."
"Do most of your sex dreams include lunch with Patterson and shopping for condoms? Don't answer that," she teased, before he could respond.
"Let's save the sex dream discussion for when we're back at your place."
As it turned out, there was only so much sex a couple could have before they needed to rest, which was just as well, because they needed to discuss the future. Kurt glanced in Jane's fridge, rolled his eyes, then got dressed and headed out for groceries, despite her protests that takeout was easier.
When he got back, he cooked spaghetti carbonara and they watched TV for a while, but once the food was gone, Jane sighed and hit the power button on the remote. "I guess we can't put off the talk any longer."
Kurt took her hand. "I was serious last night, you know. If you wanna stay in Los Angeles, I can apply for a transfer to the LA field office."
"But you'd have to take a pay cut and drop back down to Supervisory Special Agent, right?" Jane shook her head. "I couldn't ask you to do that."
Kurt couldn't help but smile a little. "Jane. You didn't ask. I'm offering. And yeah, I'd be taking a pay cut, but I'd also be stepping back from the political bullshit."
Jane nodded, thinking. He watched her tug at a loose thread on her robe, waiting patiently. Whatever she decided, he'd abide by it, and until she decided, he'd just enjoy being with her.
"You weren't wrong, you know. When you said I was missing New York." She gestured to the tattoo on her right arm, the Manhattan skyline at night. "Part of it is just me missing you, but there's something about New York. The atmosphere is just different—things just seem to move so quickly. And while I was there, working the tattoo cases, saving lives, helping people… I felt like I was really making a difference, you know?" A trace of bitterness crept into her voice. "Even though we were basically puppets on Sandstorm's strings that first year."
"We did a lot of good, too. Those corruption cases needed to be taken on. Never mind who gave them to us—we saved a lot of innocent people." Kurt skimmed his finger down the silhouette of the Empire State Building in her tattoo. "The tattoo casefile is closed. We've done everything we can with it, unless one of Patterson's algorithms finds something new. But with your experience in the field, and me and Reade vouching for you, I'll bet you could fast-track through Quantico within a couple of months, become a full agent."
Jane nodded. "I had thought about that. When I first made up my mind to leave, I mean. But I didn't think any of the other field offices would be wild about taking on an ex-terrorist with memory issues."
The idea of any field office turning away an asset like Jane made Kurt scowl protectively. "Well, the NYO will welcome you for as long as I'm running it."
Jane watched him for a moment, her face unreadable, then smiled, looking down at her hands.
"What?" he asked, curious to know where her mind was.
She leaned against him. "Just thinking."
Kurt gave her a quick peck on the lips that somehow turned into several long, slow, tempting kisses. He was beginning to recognise the wicked look that crossed her face right before she did something that would short-circuit his brain, and he quickly intercepted her, pulling her into his lap and pinning her arms to her sides.
"Not that I don't want to see what you have in mind, but don't we still have a decision to make?"
"Okay, okay…" She snuggled against him, and for the millionth time over the past twenty-four hours, his heart seemed to swell with love. "My business is four months old. I took an initial six-month lease of my premises in case things didn't work out, but so far, it's doing okay. Not great, but okay. If I did move back to New York, I'd want someone to buy me out, ideally. I might know someone who'd be willing to do that. But if I stayed here… I think we'd need to get a bigger apartment. I think I have three, maybe four months left on my lease here, either way…"
They threw around possibilities for another half-hour, before Jane looked up at him seriously. "What do you think I should do, Kurt?"
He considered deflecting, but knew it would only irritate her. "Honestly… I don't know. You've got a life here. Your business is surviving, so far. You're a great tattoo artist and I know you could build up a loyal clientele over the next few years."
Jane nodded.
"On the other hand, you were an incredible asset at the FBI, and I think you'd be just as good as an agent. Or if you wanted to try opening a studio up in New York, I could support you until you get off the ground." He pushed a strand of hair back from her eye, suppressing the urge to kiss her again. "The question is, what's gonna make you the happiest, Jane? You've had your course picked for you your whole life. The orphanage, then Shepherd, the military, Sandstorm… Then you came out of the bag, and your path was set again—following the tattoos. Then when the NSA got involved, you had no choice but to go undercover to take out Sandstorm. It's time you pick your own path. I'll be with you, whatever you choose."
"Thank you," she said softly. "Knowing we'll be together no matter what… That helps a lot."
After a moment, she stretched and got to her feet. "I know we don't have much time left until you get back, but… I think I need to go for a run. Turn things over in my head a little. Is that okay?"
Kurt stood up and pulled her into a hug. "Take as much time as you need. Well, unless you don't plan to be back until tomorrow afternoon, because I have a flight to catch."
"I'll be an hour, if that. I'm sorry I can't just give you an answer right now, I just…" She shook her head apologetically.
"Jane. It's fine. You don't even need to decide tonight, if you need more time. We can talk about it on the phone when I get back to New York." He hated that his choices had led to Jane having to make this difficult decision. If he'd just told Jane how he felt before she'd left… But it was too late now.
She shed her robe and put on a workout outfit while he cleared up their dinner plates, exercising all his self-control to resist distracting her while she was naked.
"See you soon," Jane said, and gave him a swift kiss goodbye on her way to the door.