Chapter Two

Forget It

Paul had wanted to forget what had happened between he and Jared. He tried desperately to bury his mind elsewhere – even pulling his grades up to a solid B. He started dating a cheerleader from Forks High, and kept his hands busy with some one-off jobs around the reservation, but when he was alone at night, his mind drifted back to his best friend. He wasn't stupid enough to bring it up with Jared. What would he say? They had silently agreed to never talk about it again. And Paul didn't want to talk about it! With a deep sigh, he tugged at the roots of his hair. Unlike a lot of guys on the rez, he wore it short. The ladies tended to prefer it that way. But he didn't care what they preferred any more. He had slept with six women since that night only three months ago, and none of them measured up. Cursing, Paul pulled a cigarette from the pack he kept crumpled on his nightstand. He had picked up smoking too. "I'm not a fucking faggot!" He declared to the empty room as he lit the tip, inhaling deeply. His free hand opened and closed as anger rippled through him. "Stupid fucking alcohol…" He spat out. He would never drink again if this was how it was going to end – with him buried balls deep in another dude's ass. The thought alone was enough to make him sick.

With a silent curse, Paul's gaze traveled to his rocking ceiling fan as tears pricked his eyes. Why did it have to be with Jared? His best friend? He had to look the boy in the eyes every day and pretend that he wasn't thinking of that night. He had to pretend he didn't know what Jared's body tasted like. He had to pretend that he didn't think of him every time he was buried in a pussy that did nothing for him. He had to pretend he didn't want it again. With trembling hands, he snuffed out the cigarette that held no appeal to him and ran his hand over his face as he heard the front door open. It wasn't his mother – he knew that much. She had sent him an email from somewhere in California. Paul didn't read enough of it to find out where.

"I was wondering where the fuck you were." Jared offered as he let himself into Paul's house, and then his bedroom. "What's up with you man? You were supposed to meet me at the movies like twenty minutes ago. Stacy was pissed and she took her hot friend with her." Jared gave Paul a pointed look. Stacy was Paul's current girlfriend – not that she was much more than a distraction. A shitty one at that if his thoughts were anything to go off of.

"I've been feeling like shit." Paul mumbled, letting his head fall back against the headboard. It wasn't a complete lie. He did feel like shit.

"Maybe you're catching that bug that's going around. Sam Uley was out of school for like two weeks. Have you seen him lately? Dude's all jacked now."

"Why would I give a shit if Sam Uley is jacked?" Paul hissed, his expression softening as Jared held his hands up in defense.

"What's up with you, man? You've had a shitty attitude lately." Paul sighed and forced his eyes away from Jared.

"Just a shitty month. My mom's still AWOL." He excused. What was he supposed to say? That he couldn't help but notice the way Jared had been filling out his t-shirts more these days? That he couldn't forget the way he had tasted of gin and something completely new?

"That sucks. You know you can always come stay at my place." There was a hint of hurt to Jared's tone. They hadn't really hung out overnight since the incident. Paul simply didn't trust himself.

"Yeah, maybe." Paul shrugged. "Been spending a lot of time at Stacy's place, but she talks too fucking much."

"She's a chick." Jared laughed causing Paul to smile lightly. "They kind of do that."

"Whatever." Paul scoffed as he pulled himself from the bed. His self-deprecating thoughts would have to take a back seat. "Like you would know the first thing about women," he teased as Jared followed him back towards the front of the house. "Did your mom make anything good for dinner?"

The boys sat on the beach, watching as a group of Forks High students laughed and sprayed each other with the icy water. Normally, Paul would be cold, but lately he just seemed to run hot. Stacy was still obviously pissed at him – he could tell by the way she hung all over some jock and watched him from the corner of her eye. Maybe he should have been jealous – or at the very least, angry that she would play these games, but he couldn't bring himself to do more than glance in their direction. On the other end of the beach, Sam Uley sat with a woman – Emily Young, Paul remembered. She was a cousin to the Clearwater's, and judging by her face, she had had a nasty run in with a bear or something. Paul tried not to stare, but every time he looked up, Sam would be… watching them. Jared and Paul hadn't been close to Sam, but they had been friendly. The way he watched them made Paul's skin crawl… like he knew something.

Standing, Paul brushed the sand from his pants and turned to meet Jared's questioning gaze. Let's go to the Ateara's shop and see if Quil's working. Maybe we can score some beer." Not enough to get drunk, Paul added mentally as Jared smiled and hopped up. He caught the scowl Stacy sent his way, but brushed it off as he and Jared entered the familiar woods around the beach. Most locals avoided the woods, especially this time of year, but a lot of the younger kids used them as shortcuts around the reservation. Stores and houses were few and far between, and it was just too much trouble to stick to roads that didn't even have sidewalks.

"I'm thinking about going out for the wrestling team." Jared broke the silence, and Paul snorted.

"Why, you feel like wearing spandex and grabbing on other dudes?" He gave his friend a shit-eating grin. "It's cool if you're a fag man, we can still be friends."

"Shut the fuck up, dude." Jared hissed, pushing Paul's shoulder and nearly sending the taller man toppling to the ground. Paul had always been the stronger of the two, so he simply blinked for a moment as he regained his balance.

"Watch who you're fucking with, Cameron." Paul bit back, but smiled as he shoved Jared back, laughing as he stumbled before a tree broke his fall.

Before the laughter could die on Paul's lips, Jared huffed and charged him, catching him around the middle and sending them both toppling to the ground. They tumbled down a small decline, both boys laughing as they tried to one-up the other. To Paul's surprise, it was harder than usual to overpower Jared. He thought he had won when he managed to wrap legs around Jared's, pinning him to the damp forest floor, but in a move that looked like it surprised Jared himself, the younger male managed to flip them so that he was hovering over Paul.

With a barking laugh, Jared smiled down at Paul, and the older boy felt his expression softening. "Told you dude! I'm even stronger than you now…" His boisterous bragging faded to a whisper as Jared realized the position they were in.

Their faces hung close together, their warm breaths coming out in visible puffs mingled between them. Somewhere during the tussle, Paul's hands had found purchase on Jared's hot hips where his shirt had managed to ride up just enough to give Paul access to that velvet skin that had been driving him near insane. Paul's brows knit together as he searched Jared's eyes – wondering if he felt this… static between them. Confusion turned to shock as he felt Jared grow hard on top of him.

"Paul…" Jared's voice seemed to betray him, quivering as if to ask Paul what was happening. Paul wanted to have an answer – to come up with some simple explanation as to why the tent in his own pants was growing. The hands on his shoulders tightened as Jared's mocha eyes shot back and forth between Paul's own. He almost wished he could see his own reflection. Did he look as scared as Jared did?

Slowly, Jared lowered his head, and before Paul could think better of it, he met him in the middle. This kiss was not like the heated, drunken ones they had shared. It was slow and searing, full of words and feelings they dared not even address within the safety of their own minds. As Jared's bottom lip shook, Paul brought one hand to his face, nearly sighing at the rough contrast of scruff against his palm. He ran his tongue across his best friend's full bottom lip, shuttering at the familiar taste that could only be described as Jared.

A twig snapping somewhere nearby caused both boys to pull apart, shooting away from each other like they had been caught red-handed. Hell, maybe they almost had. Whatever had cause the twig to snap seemed to have left, because the only sound that filled the still air was their uneven breaths. Paul looked guiltily towards Jared, but the younger boy was simply smiling.

"I'm totally going to make the team." He declared as he stood, reaching a hand out to help Paul up. If Jared was content in not addressing what just happened, so was Paul.

Adjusting his pants as inconspicuously as possible, Paul took the offered hand and hopped up. "Whatever, Jare. It's not like the La Push High team is anything special anyway." He chuckled as Jared shoved his shoulder again.

They walked towards the Ateara store, Paul's steps feeling lighter than they had in weeks. What had happened… it didn't mean anything. They were teenage boys, after all. They would probably fuck a lamp if it looked soft enough. Either way, Paul knew it didn't make him gay. Shit, girls made out with each other all the time. It didn't mean anything.

They pushed into the familiar store, just narrowly missing Leah Clearwater who seemed content to run them over on her way out of the store. "What the fuck is her problem?" Paul sneered, turning his gaze from the door to a frowning Quil who stood behind the register.

"You guys didn't hear?" Quil raised a brow as he leaned across the counter. There were a few more people in the store, but they were towards the back. "Sam Uley dumped her for her cousin." His eyes widened at the scandal. "I heard it's because she's…" Quil gave the boys a pointed look. "That way."

Jared's brows furrowed as Paul's throat suddenly grew tight. "What way? A bitch? We all knew that." Jared barked a laugh, but it faded when he caught Paul's tense expression.

"No, I mean… she's a lesbo!" Quil declared, and Paul didn't miss the way Old Man Harris's eyes shot to the three of them.

"Really, Quil!" Janice Ateara chastised as she emerged from the back, a deep frown pulling at her lips. "You shouldn't say such things. Imagine what it could do to that poor girl's reputation if everyone thought she was gay!" She hissed the word like it was a curse. "They would probably run her right off the reservation! That's a horrible thing to accuse someone of being!"

Paul turned from the pair, pretending to look through a few magazines as he willed his heart to stop pounding. "Would that be such a bad thing?" Jared's words made Paul's entire body freeze. He couldn't even bring himself to turn and watch Quil and Mrs. Ateara's reactions. "It's the twenty-first century… It's not really a big deal to be gay anymore." Paul wished he could speak on the subject with as much conviction as Jared.

"Lesbians are hot in movies and stuff, but having one live on the reservation? I me-" Quil's words were cut off by Mrs. Ateara slapping him once over the head – a gesture Paul caught the tail end of.

"That's disgusting, Quil." She shook her head at her son's callous words before turning to look at Jared. "Being that way is well and fine for some people, but not on a reservation. Our people are pushed onto these tiny plots of land, and every year our numbers grow smaller. The government wants to dwindle us down until we don't exist anymore, and they can finally take the last of our land. The only way we're going to keep our people and culture alive is to stick to traditional ways."

"But that's not the way it always was!" Paul jumped at Jared's raised voice, turning to stare at him with wide-eyes. Everyone was watching now as Jared's shoulders shook. Jared was always easy-going and light. All his life, Paul had heard Jared raise his voice maybe twice, and those were during video games. "Native tribes used to have no problem with homosexuality, it was only when we were forced to conform to Christianity that our views changed!" Paul blinked to make sure he wasn't wrong in thinking Jared's form was vibrating. Mrs. Ateara watched Jared with apprehension and something akin to understanding.

"Sorry, about him, Janice." Paul gave the woman a tight smile as he placed a hand on Jared's shaking arm, pushing him towards the door. "Leah's a friend, and he just doesn't want anyone to think badly about her." She was an acquaintance at best, but it was an excuse to get them out of there.

Jared's form still shook as Paul pushed him into the cool damp air and pulled him around the back of the store where there would be no prying eyes. "What the fuck was that, man?" Paul whispered harshly as Jared's hands balled at his sides. As much as he ripped into Jared… he understood. There was a small part of him that felt guilty for not doing the same thing… for not standing up for whatever this was between them. It was wrong – Paul knew it was… but how wrong could it be if Paul felt like he could breathe for the first time in weeks?

"I-I don't know." Jared shook as he looked at Paul helplessly. "I don't know why I'm s-so angry. She was just saying those things, and I…" His gaze leveled on Paul as a helpless look dragged his features downward. "I wouldn't want anyone to…" Jared shook his head. Paul understood. Neither of them would want people saying those things about them.

Glancing around quickly to make sure there were no prying eyes, Paul sighed and moved to the smaller male, pulling his vibrating form against his chest. Paul's eyes slid closed as Jared's shaking slowed, his heated arms winding their way around Paul's middle. They didn't really hug, and even when they did, it was a 'guy-hug'. Always off to the side or one-handed. This was different. This was pure comfort and understanding. They might have been the only two people on the reservation that truly understood each other.

"Me too…" Paul breathed, burying his nose against Jared's temple. He felt Jared's fists curl up in the back of his shirt.

"What's happening to us, Paul?" His voice was no more than a whisper, but the words seemed to echo through Paul's mind.

"I don't know, Jare… but at least we're in it together."

AN: Officially my new OTP, fight me on it lol. I love them soooo much!