Disclaimer: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester.

Title: Lose Yourself

Chapter Title: Chapter Nine

Set After: I'm basically saying that it's after 'Shadow' now.

Summary: Dean tried to tell Sam that it wasn't his fault, that he had no part in Jess or their mom dying… Sam didn't believe him. Now the guilt is causing him to go down a road that Dean might not be able to bring him back from. His depression is hitting the brothers fast and hard, and Sam can only be pushed so far before losing himself completely.

Warnings: probably a few typos here and there...

"You two are in danger!"

Dean raised his eyebrows and looked over at Sam for a moment. In that moment their eyes locked, both trying to decide whether or not to take the woman seriously. They silently agreed to give her the time of day and explain her case, then looked back at her.

"Are you two deaf?" the woman asked, her eyes still wide in fear. She opened Dean's door and pulled a stunned Winchester out from behind the wheel. "She wants Sam!"

Those three words were enough to get Dean interested. His eyes showed fear and love, mixed with a bit of confusion. But that was it. He wasn't even angry or shocked at the woman's actions. Heart beating fast, he swallowed hard. No way was he going to let someone hurt Sam. No way in hell. "Excuse me?"

"The shrink," the woman said, her eyes pleading. "You have to believe me. She's a demon posing as a psychiatrist. She likes to get inside people's heads and use their drama against them as they're killing them. You must've done something to piss her off bad. She's actually usually pretty nice."

By this time Sam was standing next to the two. He had gotten out of the car as soon as she had pulled Dean out, fearing that she was going to hurt his brother. But when she had yelled that psych wanted him, he knew that this woman had probably seen some fucked up things in her life.

"How do you know this?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes at the waitress. Wait, if the shrink was a demon, then did that mean…?

"I'm not like her," the woman said quickly, shaking her head. "I swear I'm not. I actually know this because… well… she's my sister."

Sam scoffed a laugh and shook his head. Crossing his arms, he leaned against the car. Dean eyed him and the car, but chose not to say anything. He would later, when they hadn't just gotten out of a session and Sam hadn't said… those thing. Sam narrowed his eyes at the woman. "If you're sisters then how are you not a demon?"

"Someone changed them. My sisters, I mean. I was gone away at college when it happened." The woman seemed a bit upset at the thought. She let out a breath and shook her head. "My family was all about the hunting of evil creatures, you know? I didn't exactly like that. So I left for college. Then I heard that my older sisters had gotten in a bit of a spot while on a hunt about a year ago… I rushed back, of course. To make sure they were okay. Transferred schools and everything." She shook her head slightly. "Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Me and my sisters still talk all the time. Well, me and Christina do. The psychologist? She talked about getting revenge on some brothers… she wouldn't tell me why, though…"

"'Revenge,'" Sam said quietly, thinking. Now that he thought about it… the shrink did look an awful lot like the demon in his vision…

"If she was so into hunting then how the hell is she a shrink?" Dean asked, crossing his arms.

The woman grimaced slightly, as if looking back on memories that weren't the most pleasant. Ones that weren't the nicest when it came to the whole 'good vs. evil' gig. "Trust me, you don't want to know." She sighed, looking back at the building. A thought then hit her, and she grabbed Sam.

"Hey, what the hell?" Dean grabbed Sam back. "Like I'm letting someone with siblings like yours touch him."

"I'm not going to hurt him." When Dean didn't let up, she glared at him, growling slightly. "Don't make me knee you, boy." Dean and Sam shared a look, and Dean pushed his brother towards the woman. She seemed satisfied. "Thanks." She then lifted up Sam's shirt, taking in the mark. She shook her head slightly, sighing. "That's why she wants you. You're the guys who killed Rebecca."

"'Rebecca?'" Sam repeated, looking confused.

"The demon that tried to sacrifice you." The woman then dropped Sam's shirt and pushed him back into Dean. "Good luck fighting off Christina." She started to turn away.

"What, you're not going to help?" Dean asked, looking a bit pissed. He grabbed her arm to keep her from walking off. "You're the one who warned us!"

The woman pulled away from Dean, shaking her head. "Look, you killed my sister. Sure, she was a demon and, sure, she was a little nutty, but… She was still my older sister." The looked over at Sam, swallowing hard. "If Dean got turned into some evil being wouldn't you still love him the same and swear to hurt anyone who killed him?"

Sam thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I would," he said quietly. "I understand."

The woman smiled slightly at Sam. "Hey, I'll think about it, alright? I know that you guys didn't have a choice but hurt her. It was self defense. That's why I'm not killing you on the spot."

"Like you could," Dean said, causing Sam to kick him slightly. Dean glared at his younger brother.

"Good luck." The woman turned away, but, after a few steps, looking back at them. "By the way, my name's Taylor." Taylor smiled at them slightly, then walked off.

"Okay, so I guess your next appointment is cancelled."

Dean and Sam were now sitting in their motel room, Dean flipping through John's journal and Sam typing away at the keyboard on the laptop. The older Winchester had seemed pissed the whole way back, and, whenever Sam tried to start up a conversation, he wouldn't talk much. Dean had to find a way to keep all these demons away from his brother. He succeeded in killed 'Rebecca', but now he had Christina left… along with the demon that had killed Mary and Jess.

When Sam didn't say anything, Dean looked over at his brother, who seemed to be lost in thought. He was staring at the wall, and Dean looked over at it, not finding anything in the least bit interesting. He looked back over at Sam. "Hey, Sam, how about I rent you a stripper for your birthday?"

That caught Sam's attention. He looked disgusted for a moment. But he then realized what Dean was doing, and rolled his eyes. "Actually, Dean, maybe I should go." When Dean opened his mouth in protest, Sam quickly continued. "No, seriously. I mean, she'll become suspicious if I don't. If we just act like everything's normal then we'll have more time to dig up stuff on her. And maybe even convince Taylor to help out."

Dean thought for a moment, then groaned in annoyance, nodding. He hated it when his brother was right. "Yeah, fine. Just be careful. And take a gun in with you or something."

Sam nodded. "Alright." He turned back to the laptop, staring to type away on the keyboard again. After a moment, however, he paused. Curious from the lack of noise, Dean tore his eyes away from the journal and looked back at his brother. Sam looked lost in thought again, but, yet, spoke. "Hey, Dean."

"Yeah?" Dean asked, looking back down at the journal, flipping through a few pages.

"Do you think they know each other? Do you think demons keep in contact with each other?"

That question caught Dean off guard, and he looked back at his brother quickly. "Um… I don't know. They're a race, Sam. So they're about as likely to keep in touch with other strange demons then we are to keep in touch with people we haven't met." Sam nodded slightly, looking a bit upset. He then turned back to the laptop, starting to scroll down the page. "Why do you ask?"

Sam paused for a millisecond, but then started scrolling again. "I just thought that Christina might know where to find Mom and Jess's killer, that's all," he said, attempting to be casual as he shrugged.

"Sam, we'll find it, alright?" Dean said softly. "Then… Then you can go back to your normal little life at Stanford."

(AN: I changed the 'Set After'. If you haven't yet… go look at it! xD)

Sam looked up at his brother, his breath catching in his throat for a second. Dean had looked back down at the journal, and looked a bit upset, though he knew the older Winchester would never admit to it. Sam was also a bit upset… he knew Dean hated the thought of Sam leaving him again. "Yeah, I guess," he said quietly before looking back at the laptop.

Dean looked up at his brother, even more hurt by those words. But, hell no, he wasn't going to sob like a little baby in front of his brother. Hey, he still had an image to keep up. Closing the journal, he stood up from the bed. "I didn't find anything. Holler if you do. I'm gonna go take a shower."

Sam nodded and watched as his brother grabbed a pair of boxers, a pair of sweats, a towel and a few toiletries before heading into the bathroom. He sighed and shook his head, leaning against the pillow. Why did he always have to screw everything up?

Haley: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait… I had some things on my mind. Shrug. Oh, I thought you guys should know where I got the name 'Ryan Morgan'. I RP (Role Play) a lot, right? And when you RP your characters are portrayed by celebrities. Well, I'm on this one site and I use Jensen Ackles (who plays Dean). My character's name is Ryan Morgan. So, I was like, "Hell, I don't feel like making up a new name. I'll use Ryan's." So, for all of you who think that Ryan's not a 'Dean' name, tough. Ryan's a lot like Dean. And Ryan has a brother, named, Scott, who's portrayed by Jared Padalecki (who plays Sam), who's a lot like Sam xD It's weird, though… Scott's three months older than Ryan (different mothers)… So when we're playing them it's like Sam's older than Dean. So, yes, weird xD Anyway, that's the story behind Dean's cover name.

Sam & Dean: …

Haley: Eeep, I don't have time to chat today. I gotta write my next Outsiders fanfic and send it to my Outsiders beta-reader! So, bye, ya'll!