AN: Sorry for the delay I kept changing my mind where I was going after chapter 3. Thanks for all the encouragement and help with the random formatting problems, I've never done this before.

Chapter 3

She was a little tender from her earlier examination and decided she needed to pay a trip to the bathroom before she got changed. This whole day was so surreal and it wasn't over yet. To be honest she didn't know if she could eat but in the mood he was in there was no point in arguing. Wincing slightly as she reached behind to lower the zipper of her dress she rubbed her abdomen. All women are used to internal exams but it doesn't make them any less uncomfortable or degrading. The flat plane of her stomach drew her attention as she pondered the possibilities. Did Harvey really want to hear what she was thinking and face the consequences of what that night mean for them both. The specialist had asked her if she was considering anyone she knew as a potential father for her hypothetical child. How could she not think of him? There was so much uncertainty that she had told the doctor she was considering all possibilities at the moment but to ask him that; he could never want that; to father a child and not be a part of it's life. Not that she would want him not to be but he had so many parental issues. Would he even want a child even if he was in a loving and committed relationship, never mind with a woman he wasn't in love with. And there they were again, the tears silently spilling over like totally without her control. Why did he make her so goddam weak when in every other way she was so incredibly strong and confident? Why did she ever start this line of thinking? She shimmied out of her fitted Navy dress, it was new, she wanted to feel good today, and let it fall to the floor. She stepped out of it and went to the adjoining bathroom to freshen up. She'd bled a little so changed her underwear and cleaned herself up. Pulling on leggings and a sweater she was about to bend down and pick up her dress when he knocked on her door lightly.

She called out for him to come in and seeing her bending down to grab the dress from the floor he walked up to her and said "let me". His voice was soft and full of concern. Was it wrong for her to revel in this? She wouldn't want him like this all the time today, here in her home, it didn't feel wrong.

"Thanks Harvey, I could get used to this" she jested, or was that hinted?

"You're not the one who should be saying thank you-it's the least I can do after all you've done for me. So food will be here in 20 mins, do you want to just watch tv for a bit or..?"

"I could use the distraction, but could we watch the next generation for a change? I want to listen to Patrick Stewart's voice". He was being considerate but she knew that watching tv meant star trek-it's just how it is, she wasn't ready for the conversation yet.

"fine, but not seasons 1 or 2"

"fine." It felt like a tiny victory getting him to expand his horizons from the original series.

Fifteen minutes in to Yesterday's Enterprise the food arrived and since he was sweet enough to order from the 'shitty' Thai place she made the effort to eat and was glad she had. By the end of the 44 minutes she felt better and despite everything on her mind, more content than she had in a long time.

"This was really nice Harvey"

"It was. Donna I don't want to push you but can you tell me where you were today?"

She inhaled deeply pondering his question.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you Harvey, but I am scared of telling you, and not just because of your reaction but also because I don't even know how I feel about things. I also want you to be sure you really want to hear this because I did mean what I said earlier, this is really personal and I don't want you to wish I'd kept this to myself."

"Donna I know it's time I grew up and if I can't face up to some hard truths to be what you need me to be then, shit Donna what does that say about me. I want you to be happy whatever that means for you but if it means I'm gonna lose you then just tell me now and maybe we can talk about it instead of me doing something stupid and ruining everything; if you need mo….something, I want…., Donna if you tell me maybe I can fix it?" He was rambling slightly, so close to asking her if she wanted more and yet still scared of what that word might mean. Despite his best efforts he really wasn't good at this and had little to no experience in conversations of this nature.

She knew she should probably have stopped him earlier but this man in front of her, so open and so vulnerable, she couldn't help it. His talking this way made her feel warm and safe, yep she was going to revel in it.

"Harvey, slow down and listen." He looked contrite but still scared "I'm not going anywhere you need to get that out of your head. When I left…" how would she address that? Now wasn't the time and she didn't want to reopen that wound.

"Look, When I went to work for Louis I was hurt by how you reacted to what happened between us and I needed to try and move on with my life, but we all know how that worked out for me" she scoffed. "I don't know if this is connected to then but I guess it is in a some way but it's not about us, it's about me and my life, what I want or might want?" To give him credit he was really listening and not interrupting her at all but he was clearly unsure where she was going with this although the look of relief that spread across his face when she said she wasn't leaving him was deeply touching and made her heart tighten in her chest. She could hardly blame him for being uncertain, she was talking in circles and he didn't know the context but this was hard for her too, it was huge. She had been entirely content to figure this out alone and though one option might have been to speak to him at some point she didn't think for a second it would be tonight, before she knew for sure what she wanted for herself. "So I think it might be easier for me to show you where I went today but I want you to promise me that you understand that I have not processed this and if I talk to you about this then it's me trying to find my way through it not telling you what I've decided ok."

"One man cannot summon the future. But one man can change the present." She looked up at him completely bemused by his words. "I am and shall always be your friend?" he tried again.

"Spock!"

"Spock!" He cocked his head as if she should clearly understand that he communicated far better through someone else's words.

"Ok Harvey" she got up and walked around the outside of the couch into the kitchenette and when she returned moments later she had her bag in one hand and the rest of the bottle of wine in the other. "This is either going to be a really long or a really short conversation and either way I'm going to need this" she held up the bottle to him and he nodded for her to top up his glass as well.