Home for the Holidays

Chapter 6

Hannah was still crying into Mike's chest and he kept hearing her cellphone buzzing. She had laid it on the coffee table and seemed to ignoring it or was just too upset to deal with it. Mike finally leaned over and picked it up. Normally he wouldn't invade her privacy but it was getting aggravating listening to it when he wanted to concentrate on his daughter. He knew the code because he had been insistent when he got the phone for her. After punching it in, he realized she had at least twenty five unread text messages from Charlie and half a dozen calls. Mike decided to put an end to it.

"This is Hannah's dad. She can't talk right now and I'm shutting her phone off. She isn't feeling well and I don't want her disturbed." Mike left the phone on for the time being just to see what the response would be. He sat the phone on his knee and wrapped his arm back around his sobbing daughter.

"I need to talk to her. I'll just show up there."

"Not a good idea."

"I'm not scared of you."

"When it comes to my daughter, you need to be scared of me. You've caused a lot of damage that I have to fix. Staying away from Hannah is a very wise idea right now." Mike shut the phone off and tucked it into his hoodie pocket. Hannah seemed to be trying to calm herself and he pulled away to get her tissues and a bottle of the water. He handed her the tissues and uncapped the water for her.

"I have your phone and have shut it off. I texted Charlie and told him that you weren't feeling well and that I didn't want you disturbed. He threatened to show up here and I told him it wasn't a good idea and that he needed to be scared of me where you're concerned. You can read through the texts later. I'm not withholding your phone from you. I just think it needs to be shut off for the time being so we can talk. I'm sorry if that makes you mad but I do pay the bill."

"It's okay."

"So what's the deal with this guy?"

"After everything, you want to talk about Charlie?"

"Because I think Charlie caused all this. Mallory told me she had him over for dinner and that he was rude and disrespectful. She didn't like how he treated you. And she also said that he hates the military. Does he know what my position is?"

"Yeah and he knows you were on the Nathan James."

"Okay. Well I can't change what I am. I could retire and I would do that if I thought it would help you but I don't think that's the answer to this. Has he hurt you in anyway?"

"How do you mean?"

"Physically, sexually, emotionally abused you?" Hannah had drawn her knee back up and had her chin sit on it and was biting her lower lip. It made Mike nervous. "Hannah, talk to me. Whatever it is, we'll deal with it."

"He didn't hurt me, not physically and we didn't have sex. He wanted me to but I wouldn't."

"That makes me feel better, somewhat. You didn't say anything about the emotional side of it though. Hannah, what you said last night was completely out of character for you. I am your father and I know how you tick. Something had to have happened for you to feel that you hate me and that you wanted me to die. I want to get to what it was, so I can fix it, if I can. If it's about me being gone over your birthday, I am sorry for that. It's not like I wanted to be. I hate being gone so much. If you want me to retire, I will. I want to fix whatever this is. You made the choice to come back to that hospital room and given how upset you've been, you don't hate me. Mallory told me that you helped her with CPR, so that shows that you didn't want me to die. Now, I need you to tell me what has been going on with you. You've dropped out of basketball, your grades are slipping, up until today, you hadn't picked your violin up since I left for the Pacific, and Mallory has had her hands full with you. Hannah, Mallory and I both love you very much and we want you to be happy. You are clearly not. I want to and need to fix that, at whatever cost. But you have to talk. As much as I'd like to help you and as glad as I am that you came back to the hospital room, I need to know why. I will still love you at the end of the day and every day, but I need you to tell me. That's non-negotiable."

"After what I said?"

"Huh?"

"You still love me, after what I said? It was horrible and you almost died because of it."

"Hannah, loving you comes as natural as breathing to me. Mallory too. What you said was horrible and it hurt, obviously. But it won't change how much Mallory and I love you. I am only asking for the reason why and I think Charlie is behind it. Mallory told me he hates the military."

"Okay, first of all. I don't hate you and I don't want you to die. I love you. I think we need to clear that up right now."

"I appreciate that. And I love you too. Now on with it, Hannah. You're trying to distract me."

"Jeez, Dad. Little impatient?"

"I have a good reason. I want this all behind us."

"Yeah, I guess I do too. It's just hard to talk about and I guess I'm scared still."

"Alright, I'll bite. What are you scared of? You know I will still love you so that's not it. Mallory will be speaking with you later about what she said to you. She said it out of a place of fear and feels badly about it. She would be here but she felt that you and I needed sometime to ourselves to solve all this. So what are you afraid of?"

"I guess that was the biggest thing. Charlie hated that I spent so much time around Mallory and the kids and with violin practice and basketball. He would tell me that guys don't like it when their girlfriends are involved in all that stuff. And because of my health problems, I wouldn't get any other boyfriends. He also didn't like me spending any time around Ashley. I wanted to fit in and he's popular. Has his own car and everything. He says he hates his parents all the time. The counselor at school was telling about how all the males will have to register when they turn eighteen and if anything comes up, they may be drafted. Charlie hated that. He didn't want to be told what to do. He hates you because of that. I tried to explain to him that it had gone on for years before the pandemic but he wouldn't listen. Told me I was stupid. I tried distancing myself from him but he calls and texts all the time. It's aggravating. He said if I broke up with him, he would tell everyone that I had sex with all the football players. I didn't. But I also didn't want him to say that either. For him hating you and the military so much, he wanted to date me because I was your daughter. I don't understand it. Anyway, last night, he turned my words around on me. I said I hated your job and I do. I won't apologize for that. He somehow got me to say that I hated you. I don't even really know how it happened. As far as wishing you'd die, I don't know why I said that. It was stupid. I hate that I hurt you like that. I hate myself for it. I don't know how you or Mallory either one could love me. I'm not worth it…"

"Whoa, right there. You are worthy of love. My love, Mallory's love. As far as Charlie is concerned, I'm going to let you in on something. Guys are stupid. Guys, especially sixteen year old's tend to think with something other than their brain. By the time they get to my age, they've wised up some. And another secret, there are a lot of fish in the sea that will see you as a beautiful young woman. Now, I would prefer that would be in several years' time. I'm not going to tell you that you have to break up with Charlie but I will point out the amount of heart ache he's caused. You, me, Mallory, Tom. Is he worth all that? It's something you have to ask yourself. He brought out the worse in you. The people that love you know you are better than that. If he's threatening you, that he'll spread rumors about you if you break up with him, that in itself should tell you something. As far as the registering is concerned, you were right. That has been going on for many years. I have nothing to do with it. I can't stop it either. Being in the service would probably teach Charlie a lot though. You said you hate my job. Do you want me to retire? Because of bringing the cure home, my name will always be out there so I can't help that. My career has impeded a lot of things and I have not been the father you deserved because of it. I will always regret that. My career is important to me and I feel I can do a lot of good as Secretary of the Navy but you are far more important to me. I will retire if you want me to. I joined the Navy to better provide for you and your mom. There were no romantic notions of patriotism that caused me to sign up. It was so I could have you guys living in a better home and didn't have to stress about buying medicine or milk. Now, I did keep my commission because of patriotism and feeling I could do more good as a sailor than I could as a cop. I love the life. But I love you more. I'll give it up in a nanosecond to ensure your happiness."

"Can I think about you retiring? At least overnight?"

"Yes. I would actually prefer that to a knee jerk reaction."

"Okay. As far as breaking up with Charlie, I was going to regardless of what you said. Mallory told me after the dinner she had, that Charlie reminded her of Bradly with how he treated me. I don't guess I understand that, but I don't want a relationship like that. Ashley told me she couldn't be friends with me while I insisted on dating Charlie, so I'll at least have her as a friend when I break up with him. Can I ask you something about you and Mom?"

"Sure." Mike still had his arm around her and had taken a sip of his water. He was exhausted and wanted everything behind them.

"I did the math. I was born six months after you guys got married. So she was pregnant when you got married. Was I the reason you guys got married?"

"The knee jerk answer is yes. But I loved your mom, still do. We weren't necessarily compatible and within a few years, she hated my career too. It's hard to say what would have happened if she had survived. As much as we still loved each other, I am afraid we would have ended up divorced. Especially after losing Lucas. A strained marriage would not have survived the loss of a child. A good marriage doesn't always survive it. As far as getting married because of you, I'm glad we did. Your mom gave me three beautiful children and a lot of happy memories. It's not a decision I regret at all. We had dated for almost a year before she got pregnant with you and honestly, I needed to get my butt in gear and propose anyway, you just gave me the incentive. She made me a very lucky man. Way out of my league on that one."

"You and Mallory get along better. You seem happier."

"I'm more mature. Home more. Trust me; there are times that I test Mallory's patience. As far as being happier, maybe, I am. Comparing the two of them is like comparing apples and oranges. Two completely different women. Your mom gave me a lot of good years and you and your sister, Lucas too. For that, I will always be grateful and I will always love her. You don't need to worry about if because of you, I married your mom and wasn't completely happy. There will be times that I won't be completely happy with Mallory and times she won't be completely happy with me. Marriage is give and take."

"It worried me. And knowing you and Mallory got together because of me."

"I think it's a coincidence. You've given me a lot of happiness. First with your birth and then your life."

"I guess."

"I know. Do me a favor and never let anyone make you think you aren't smart, beautiful or worthy of love. I'm biased and wired to think you are all those things but other people see it too. Mallory, Tom, Sasha, Kara, Wolf, Becky. The list goes on and on. All people that adore you and are inspired by you."

"Yeah and when they heard what I said and what I caused, they won't think that."

"As far as my heart issue?"

"Yeah. They'll all hate me."

"Hannah, no one hates you. Or will. I am choosing to forgive you and I want to put all this behind us. Now, we are choosing not to tell Emma and Sailor why I got sick. They won't understand it and I don't want to cause any hard feelings between you three. I am going to ask that you forgive yourself. Until you do that, this is going to hang over you and you won't recover from it."

"I'll try. Is your heart okay?"

"Yeah. Mallory and Doctor Elliott can't figure out what happened. The first test they did; there was significant damage. The second one was perfect and the stress test went well. They want me to take it easy for a while to make sure there are no problems but they think I'm okay."

"I'm really glad. Knowing I almost killed you really hurts."

"So look at it this way, you saved my life too. Performing CPR? Coming back into the hospital room?"

"I should have never left the hospital room the first time. That was stupid."

"Why did you?"

"Leave or come back?"

"Both."

"Just before Mallory and I got there, Charlie had texted me, telling me that I didn't need you guys and would be fine on my own. We'd get an apartment and all. Then you told me what you did. When Tom found me in the chapel; he told me that you would welcome me back with open arms but if I choose to not come back, he would make sure I couldn't contact you. Don't be mad at him. I realized, I had no money, no cellphone because it was in Tommy's diaper bag, no coat. But more than that, I guess I realized, I wouldn't have a family or a good future either. I guess I had to decide if Charlie was worth all that and I decided he wasn't."

"Well, I'm glad. Now, what are you going to do about Charlie?"

"I know I'm breaking up with him. Aside from that, I don't know."

"It's up to you, how you do it. It doesn't sound like it will be a pleasant experience for you so if you need me talk to the school or block his number I will. It might be poor parenting on my part, but I will not get in the middle of this otherwise. I will protect you if you need protecting but this is something you need to do on your own. You've made some adult decisions that turned out wrong and you have to live with those consequences now. One of those consequences is dealing with Charlie."

"I figured you would say that. What are the other consequences?"

"I am not thrilled with how you've treated Mallory over the past two months. I asked for you to help with the younger kids. Had you done that, I had plans on taking you on a trail ride through the Ozark Mountains this summer. You've lost that. You can earn it back by getting your grades up, helping with the younger kids, and going to your violin lessons. It's too late for basketball now. And I do realize I am taking something away that you didn't know you even had, so I am giving you a chance to earn it back. You are also grounded for two weeks. No movies or going out with friends, especially Charlie. I will give you your phone back so that you can break it off with Charlie but I do want it back. This is not only a punishment but also a protection. If he starts blowing your phone up, it'll be me that he deals with. You can go to violin practice and any after school tutoring you need to. I will pick you up and drop you off. Once the two weeks is up, we will take you for your driver's test. This is not a punishment but a responsibility. I am still planning on buying you a car; that hasn't changed. I will pay for it, but you have to pay the gas and insurance. You will do this by babysitting for Mallory and I. To earn the rest and any pocket money, the Green's are going to need a babysitter soon for their anniversary. I'm volunteering you. Tom and Sasha also need a babysitter for Jed and Sarah Elizabeth. I will also be volunteering you for that. You can team up with Ashley for that if you want. Once school is out this summer, you will have more babysitting responsibilities where Tommy is concerned. Emma and Sailor are getting old enough that they just need someone to monitor them. Make sure they don't burn the house down and eat real food. I do realize you could get a job and make more money but I don't want you to. Partly because of your health. I want you to concentrate on being a kid. Not that arguing would do you any good; but any arguments?"

"No, sir."

"Hannah, I am not punishing you for what you said last night. You're punishing yourself enough for that. I am punishing you for how you've acted. You owe Mallory an apology. How you've acted is completely and totally unacceptable. I realize you were being influenced by Charlie but this needs to serve as a lesson to not be so easily swayed. Regardless of what happened last night; you were still going to have this punishment. I also realize that your levels are messed up and you maybe haven't been thinking quite right. I am taking that into account. The punishment could be much more severe, trust me."

"I don't have any arguments where it's concerned. I honestly think I deserve worse."

"Let me ask you this then; how do you think I should punish you?"

"I apologize to Mallory and Tom both; no horseback riding until summer, I lose my phone for a month and I don't get a car until I'm eighteen. I also should do all the cleaning and laundry in addition to the babysitting."

"I agree with the apologizing but I want you to write a handwritten letter to both of them. We'll compromised and say March 1st on the horseback riding because it's something I enjoy doing with you and I would prefer you not being in the cold. Okay on the phone. And let me talk to Mallory on the car. We will need you driving before then so you can help with the kids. Both our vehicles maybe tied up. I agree on the cleaning and laundry for the next month. After that; it will be cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting and your own laundry. I also want you to cook a meal a week."

"Sounds fair considering I deserve much worse because of what happened to you."

"Again, I'm not punishing you for that. Just for how you've acted while I was gone. I really want you to forgive yourself. When it counted, you did the right thing. I need to move past this and I can't do that with you not moving past it. I'm not asking this of you, I'm begging you to do this. For my sanity and yours."

"It's really hard knowing that I could have killed you, that's what I'm having trouble with. You've always been an amazing dad and I've been a really horrible daughter. You stayed with me all those times I was sick and this is how I repaid you. I literally broke your heart and there may be long lasting damage. It's bad enough that I could have killed my own dad, but I would have also been killing Emma, Sailor, and Tommy's dad. How do I get past that?"

"I don't really know. I guess that's the part you have to live with. As far as you being a horrible daughter, for the first time in sixteen years, this is the first time I've been disappointed with you. That's a pretty good track record. Now, Mallory and the girls are going to be back soon. I am serious. I want us past this. You can give me your answer concerning my retirement when you are ready to. Mallory is going to talk to you, probably tonight. She feels horribly about how she spoke to you, so I am asking that you extend the same grace to her that I am extending to you. Okay?"

"Okay, how do I make it to where you aren't disappointed anymore?"

"I'm already not as much. Write those apology letters and one more thing?"

"Yeah?"

"Stand up and give me a hug."

Hannah practically jumped up and Mike laughed at her. He stood up slowly and pulled her into a massive bear hug. He didn't know how long they stood like that but it felt good. He had noticed a faint smell of roses, very similar to what Christine had always smelled like. It was odd because Mallory didn't have any fresh roses downstairs and Hannah wasn't wearing any perfume. It made him wonder if it was Christine. Focusing back in on Hannah, he decided there were worse presences to have around.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you more, Hannah."

I'm having trouble deciding rather I need to add another chapter to this. It seems like a good stopping point but I also left it open ended so that Hannah could make her other apologies so please review and let me know what you think!