Sorry, I'm running late on finishing my Christmas stories out. Life got busy! Will have them done within a day or so.

Home for the Holidays

Chapter 8

Christmas Eve was the typical busy day in the Slattery household. Mallory, Emma and Sailor made cookies and candy and Hannah was on dish duty. She felt excluded even though both Mallory and her dad had hugged and kissed her that morning. She didn't feel a part of any of the conversations. The disappointment she felt from both her parents really bothered her. She watched her dad pretty closely and Mallory had insisted on him staying on the couch, cuddling with Tommy. She knew her dad would never refuse affection but she felt like she wasn't allowed, even with Mallory, to hug or be close to her family. Emma and Sailor sit down mid-afternoon after all their cookies and candies were made. She tidied the kitchen and sit in the recliner. They had a movie going but Hannah was having trouble focusing. The house phone rang and Hannah handed it over to her dad. Charlie didn't have that number but if he had gotten it; she didn't want to deal with it. She only heard one side of the conversation but knew it involved her.

"Yes, we are planning on being at the Christmas Eve service tonight."

"As far as Hannah is concerned, if she wants to play violin tonight; it's fine with me. I'll let you ask her though." Mike handed her the phone and focused back on the movie. Pastor Robert was on the other side of the line.

"Hannah, my organist got food poisoning and I need someone to play 'Silent Night' during communion. Could you play your violin?"

"Yes, sir. Since my dad is okay with it. I am pretty rusty. "

"You'll be fine. See you in a few hours."

Hannah hung up the phone and realized she needed to practice and she would be putting her family through her mistakes while she worked on it. She handed the phone back to her dad and stood up."

"If I don't have any more chores, I'm going to go practice?"

"Okay."

As Hannah climbed the stairs, her eyes filled with tears again. She hated herself and hated the disappointed she was feeling. She knew she deserved it but it was unbelievably hard. She shut the door to her room; partly to not subject her family to her bad playing but to also cry her tears.

Mike and Mallory exchanged a look as Hannah walked up the stairs. They had both noticed the tears in her eyes. It was important that Hannah see the ramifications of her actions, but they hadn't imagined how difficult acting disappointed and ashamed would be. Mike felt like it communicated to her that she had lost their love and he hated that. Before too long; they could hear her playing and all the squeaks and scratches. Emma and Sailor were both groaning and Tommy had woke up in a terrible mood.

As the afternoon wore on; the playing steadily got better. Mallory fixed an early dinner so the family had plenty of time to get ready. Mike carried Hannah's plate up to her and listened outside her room for a minute. He heard her crying and it made him want to cry but he had to put his "dad face" on.

"Hannah, we are going to leave in about an hour. You have time to eat and change clothes."

"Yes, sir."

Mike noticed how red and blotchy her face was and the unshed tears in her eyes. Instead of hugging her like he desperately wanted to; he turned around and left her room. He went in and changed his own clothes and then went downstairs. They finished eating and Mallory went up to change her own clothes and Tommy's. Mike started to wash up the dishes but instead yelled for Hannah to do them.

About five minutes later; she came down wearing a black knee length dress with a simple white collar. Her hair was pulled back and make up on. Mike noticed how pale she was and how stiffly she was walking. It made him wonder if her thyroid levels were crashing. She immediately started the dishes without saying a word.

They were out the door in less than an hour. Emma and Sailor both sat in the back, with Tommy and Hannah in the first back seat. When she went to get in the backseat, her foot slipped off the runner and she practically fell into him. He gave Mallory a look and helped Hannah up. He already had a hold of her violin case and Mallory was putting Tommy in his car seat.

"Sorry, Daddy."

"It's okay. Are you feeling okay?"

"Just stiff. I'm okay."

"Mike, I think her levels are dropping. Once we get home, a warm bath and some heating pads usually help with the pain. I'll call the endocrinologist the day after tomorrow. She'll be alright until then."

"I deserve it."

Mike and Mallory were getting into the front seat and exchanged a look. They were both having trouble with the tough love aspect of her punishment. The drive to church was mostly quiet except for Emma and Sailor's chatter. Once they got to the church; Hannah met with Pastor Robert and then set with her family. She stayed on the outer part of the pew next to Mike and at one point; he felt her stiffen up when she looked a couple pews back.

"What's wrong?"

"Charlie is here with his parents. He never comes to church."

"Ignore him. We'll get out of here as soon as church is over in case he wants to make a scene. This isn't the place or time. It's almost time for you to go up front. Let's get this violin out of the case? You ready?"

"Yes, sir."

He nodded at her and quietly helped her. She was nervous and he hoped it didn't affect her playing. She would beat herself up if she messed it up. She made her way up front before they started passing out communion and at Pastor Robert's direction began playing.

Mike had never heard her play so flawlessly. It was beautiful and she did it from memory. There were few dry eyes in the sanctuary and Mike was proud of her. After the service; they were headed out of the church when Charlie approached them. Mike was carrying Tommy but immediately handed him over to Mallory and pushed Hannah out of the way. Mallory headed the younger kids out to the vehicle and Mike kept himself in between Charlie and Hannah.

"This isn't the time or place. I suggest that you go back to your parents and leave my daughter alone."

"She hates you. Get out of my way."

"Just leave me alone, Charlie. I want to go home with my family. Daddy, can we please just go?"

"Yeah, he isn't worth our time."

Mike put his arm around Hannah and walked her out to the SUV. He felt badly for her. She was in pain, physically and emotionally and having to deal with Charlie. As disappointed in her as he was, it still hurt him to see her hurting.

They got settled into the SUV and headed home. Emma and Sailor were singing Christmas songs, badly. Normally Hannah would have joined in but she stayed focused on the passing landscape outside the window. They got home and all changed into pajamas. Mallory sat Hannah down in the recliner, turned the heater on and covered her with a blanket. What hurt Mike was seeing her hook the portable oxygen tank up and put the nasal cannula on her. It had been almost a year since she had to wear it last. Mallory had hot chocolate in the crockpot and he got Hannah a cup. They always opened one present on Christmas Eve and he specifically picked out the one he wanted Hannah to open. It was a picture that Mallory had taken at Mike's Father's Day barbeque. He had his arm around her and was kissing the side of her head. Mallory had framed it in a nice wood frame that would go well in Hannah's room.

The kids unwrapped the presents and he hugged and kissed Emma and Sailor goodnight. Mallory had taken Tommy up to nurse and Hannah had gotten up to wash up the mess from the hot chocolate. She was still quiet and seemed to be in even more pain. She was insistent on washing the dishes up but he took care of drying them.

"So, you did a beautiful job tonight playing."

"Thanks, I messed up a couple times."

"Had me fooled. Did you like your Christmas present?"

"I loved it. I didn't figure I would get anything after yesterday. Maybe a lump of coal."

"Nah. Like I said yesterday, you've had a great track record and while I'm disappointed in you; I would never withhold your Christmas presents from you. I also don't think you deserve not feeling well. You are a part of this family, a very vital part. Mallory and I love you very much."

"I love you too. But you're wrong. I do deserve this and a lot worse. I almost killed you. You have done nothing but love and support me, even now. And we see how I repaid you. I am not going to just get over that. I can't and I shouldn't. Dishes are done. I am going to go up and go to bed. Night."

She was out of the room and going upstairs before Mike could catch her. She had grabbed her oxygen bottle before she went and he heard her bedroom door close which meant that she didn't want bothered. He was at a complete loss as to what to do. Mallory came downstairs and wrapped her arms around him.

"This with Hannah is getting to you, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I know we are supposed to be showing her the ramifications of her actions but she isn't seeing it that it's a punishment for acting out, but for what she said. She thinks she's deserving of not feeling well. It worries me."

"Depression is normal with her levels tanking. Plus, the added trauma of what happened with you and breaking up with a boy she thought she loved. It's created a perfect storm."

"So what do we do about it?"

"Keep an eye on her, and let her know we love her. I think the knowledge of our disappointment is doing more than any punishment would to her. We just have to stay the course."

"I hate tough love."

"Me too. I'll call her doctor first thing. I told her to wear her nasal cannula to bed and put the extra baby monitor in her room."

"Okay. It's like we are going back in time to when they were first found."

"Except you don't have to bandage her feet or feed her."

"True, ready for bed? Likely going to be an early morning."

"Yeah. Let's go."

Mike and Mallory headed upstairs and he opened Hannah's door before checking on Emma, Sailor and Tommy. Hannah was sleeping soundly with her oxygen on. He put both baby monitors on his nightstand and curled up next to Mallory.