I am drawing this to a close. For those of you that are medical people, you may disagree with my writing concerning the treatment but I have personal experience where these diseases are concerned and it is how mine is treated(with success). I also know how difficult it is to get the diagnosis. I used some artistic license concerning it. As always, reviews are always appreciated.

Home for the Holidays

Chapter 9

Sailor had woke the entire house up at five am. It was her first Christmas with them and she had never had an actual Christmas. She was ecstatic and it was fun to watch her. Hannah was still not feeling well and was in a lot of pain. Mallory was monitoring her pretty closely and had brought her oxygen tank downstairs and hooked it up. Mike turned the chair heater on for her and wrapped a blanket around her. It was going to be a rough day for her. Mallory had gone back upstairs to feed Tommy and Mike got the presents separated. He had gone a bit overboard with all the kids. Emma and Sailor were sitting on the floor not so patiently waiting on Mallory to start opening their presents and Hannah was trying not to cry from pain. Mike sit all her presents on the table next to her and checked her pulse. He was worried sick about her.

"Aside from the pain, any other symptoms? Chest pains?"

"No. I deserve it." Mike leaned down in front of her and touched her forehead. There was no fever and in fact her skin felt cold. He grabbed another blanket and wrapped it around her. "Why are you doing all this? You should hate me?"

"I could never hate you. I love you. You don't deserve any of this. As far as why I'm doing this, I am your dad. It's my responsibility. I hate that you aren't feeling well and I wish I could take your place."

"But you're disappointed…"

"I am disappointed in your actions but I would never wish this pain on you. Now, I really want you to enjoy your presents. You can nap later if you need to."

"But I am supposed to wash dishes and help with Tommy and…"

"I'm giving you a pass on that until you feel better."

She nodded at him and reached for one of her presents. Mike kissed her on top of the head. He knew her lack of argument was due to not feeling well and a lack of energy. Mallory was just as worried as he was and they exchanged a look when she came downstairs with Tommy. He stayed on the floor next to Hannah's chair to help her with her presents while Mallory held Tommy. The baby really didn't care about any of his presents, but was fascinated with the paper and the bright lights on the tree. Emma and Sailor dug into their presents and it was thrilling to watch Sailor getting so excited about not only her presents but also everyone else's.

Hannah was happy with her presents and had even smiled a few times which had been rare the last couple days. She was highly amused just watching Sailor open her presents and Mike had to prompt her to open her own. She had gotten new sheet music for her violin, some new clothes and make-up, riding boots and a locket from Mike. She asked Mallory to put it on for her and Mike noticed Mallory looking at Hannah suspiciously. He had noticed a rash across her cheeks and nose but had figured it had to do with her thyroid levels, nerves or wood heat. Mallory looked extremely worried though.

Tommy was fussy due to the early morning and Mallory needed to fix breakfast. Hannah took him and he cuddled onto her chest and they were both asleep in no time. Mallory gestured for Mike to follow her into the pantry. She had been texting someone and watching Hannah.

"What's going on?"

"That rash on Hannah's face. It's butterfly shaped."

"I noticed it but what does the shape matter? I figured it had something to do with her thyroid levels. They said her skin would dry out."

"It may have something to do with that but it is also a symptom of another disease. And she's displaying some other symptoms. I texted my attending. He suggested doing some bloodwork. Specifically an antibody test."

"Okay. I have no idea what an antibody test is and what other disease?"

"Have you heard of Lupus?"

"I've heard the name but I'm drawing a blank."

"It's an auto immune disease. It walks hand in hand with thyroid disorders and the symptoms are very similar. The bad part is the antibody test will be inconclusive because the thyroid levels will throw it off. Her symptoms match but there is no sure test for Lupus."

"Why has this never been brought up before? "

"It's the first time I've noticed that rash and it's a dead giveaway."

"So you want to do the test that may not even tell for sure? How do we explain that to Hannah? She already thinks she deserves this."

"I have some tubes in my med kit and I work tonight. I'll draw her blood and tell her it's just checking her TSH level. If the test shows that her body is attacking itself, we have to tell her."

"I'm confused."

"When someone has Lupus or thyroid disorder, the body attacks the joints, causing pain. It can also attack the organs. It causes rashes, most notably the butterfly rash. Extremities will be cold. Her hands are like ice cubes. She's emotional, and exhausted. Lupus presents in flare ups, normally brought on by stress. Hannah has been through a lot the past couple days. I think she has this disease and is mid flare up. Her thyroid levels may have also caused it."

"Okay, so long term?"

"It can cripple her, and cause organ damage.

"Her heart and lungs are already damaged. So what kind of cure?"

"Mike, like the thyroid disorder, there is only a treatment, not a cure. It can be managed."

"How?"

"We keep a close eye on her thyroid levels since that seems to be the link, and minimize the stress on her. Warm blankets and such will help with the pain."

"So there is no exact diagnosis, no cure, treatment is minimal and she…my baby has to suffer?"

"More or less."

"Why?"

"With the pandemic, meds that might have treated this aren't being produced any longer. We're lucky that her thyroid meds are being produced. We can minimize the impact though."

"No, why her? She's a good kid. I know the past couple months have been rough and she stepped out of line in a major way the other night, but why her? She's a good girl. She already blames herself and thinks this pain is a punishment for what she said about me. How do we stop that?"

"I wish I knew. I'm just praying that the antibody test is negative but it probably won't be."

"Can it be positive and she not have the disease?"

"Yes. That's why it's so hard to diagnose. We just don't have the ability to do all the tests we would have done before and even then, it was hard to diagnose. Not it's impossible and the meds were rough before. Now? It's better if we just manage the thyroid disorder."

"My God. Can it cause her to die?"

Mallory just nodded at him and pulled him into a hug. His mind was in overdrive and they couldn't even get a sure diagnosis. Mike's biggest fear was that he would outlive another one of his children and now the possibility of that was even bigger. Mallory just wished that she had waited until after Christmas to tell him what her suspicions were. He finally pulled away and seemed to be gathering himself.

"Do the bloodwork tonight and if she has it, or you suspect it, we tell her tomorrow or whenever the labs come back."

"I agree. I also think we need to ease up the grounding. Not sure how exactly though since she choose her punishment."

"I gave her a pass on the housework since she wasn't feeling well."

"Good idea. Keep the other stuff, no phone, not going out with friends."

"I feel so horribly for her. She doesn't deserve this."

"She doesn't. The trick is going to be us making sure she doesn't feel she deserves it. I'll fix breakfast; right don't you relax with them. You don't need the stress either."

"What time is dinner with Tom and Sasha?"

"Two. I also need to fix a salad and the potatoes. I work at seven tonight. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah. Do you need help?"

"Nah. Just relax."

"You're amazing."

Mike reached over and kissed Polly on the cheek. Emma and Sailor were playing on the living room floor and Hannah had the baby lying on her chest with the blanket over both of them. He was still asleep but she was awake and looking at her sheet music. Mike leaned down and kissed the top of Tommy's head and Hannah's forehead which earned him a small smile.

"Do you want me to take him?"

"No. He's snuggled up. Besides, I'm not doing anything that I'm supposed to. I might as well be holding him."

"He sure loves you but then the feelings mutual with me. Mallory and I are giving you a pass on the housework until you get to feeling better. The no phone and no going out is still in effect." Hannah's eyes filled with tears and her forehead creased up. He hadn't planned on that reaction when he told her that he was letting her off on some of her responsibilities. "What's wrong? You're supposed to be thrilled."

"But…I don't want you and Mallory to be disappointed in me anymore and if I don't do the chores, then you will be." The tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was breathing heavily. Mike turned her oxygen up and wiped the tears. He had to choose his words carefully.

"Sweetie, you doing the chores was not going to be the deciding factor if we were going to be disappointed in you. It would be poor parenting on my part if I forced you to do them while you're in so much pain. You are genuinely remorseful, you've wrote the letters I asked, broke up with Charlie. If anything, I'm proud of the maturity you've shown. You don't deserve this pain and I would never wish it on you. There will still be ramifications but Mallory and I are taking a step back on this one. I think you've more than learned your lesson and that is what I really wanted for you."

"But how do I make it to where you aren't so disappointed?"

"You already have."

"I have?"

"Yeah. Part of it was an act because we thought you were learning more from us being disappointed in you than if we punished you. We were disappointed in your choices but not necessarily in you. I am afraid that me telling you I was disappointed in you communicated that you weren't loved or a part of this family. You are loved by so many people and you are most definitely a part of this family,"

"I still feel really bad about how I treated Mallory and especially with what happened with you. You could have died and it would have been all my fault."

"And that is the lesson you need to take with you. Your words and actions do have an effect. You've apologized and you are dealing with the consequences, but the consequences do not include you being sick. It was just poor timing. No more and no less."

"Okay, but…"

"Hannah, no buts. I want you to put this past us. You've learned a very hard lesson and as long as you hang onto it, we can't."

"Okay. Daddy, I think Tommy just peed and it's soaked through the diaper and his sleeper."

"That's my boy. Here, I'll take him."

Hannah handed over the baby like he was a hot potato. Her shirt and his sleeper were soaked. Tommy was still sound asleep. Emma and Sailor had gone upstairs and Mallory was still working on breakfast. Mike took the baby up to change his diaper and put him in an outfit. Hannah had followed to change her own clothes. She seemed a little lighter and Mike hoped that he had gotten through to her. He was dreading telling her she had another disease.

The rest of the day was spent eating and cuddling. Mallory kept a pretty close eye on Hannah. They ate dinner at Tom and Sasha's. Hannah stayed on the couch with her oxygen bottle and held Tommy and Sarah Elizabeth. After the dinner they came back home and Mallory laid down after nursing Tommy.

When Mallory woke up, she ate dinner and they explained to Hannah that she was doing some blood work to check her levels. Once she got the results back, she promised Mike she would call him. Hannah was in a much better mood. Mallory left and Mike put the younger kids to bed. Hannah gave him a hug and kiss goodnight and promised she would leave her oxygen on. She was still in a lot of pain and while somewhat lighter, still seemed a little sad.

Mallory called Mike at two am. The results of the antibody test were positive and she had talked to a pediatric rheumatologist. He confirmed her diagnosis and approved the treatment plan. If they could control her thyroid levels, they could manage the Lupus. After Mike got off the phone with Mallory, he got up and checked on the kids. Tommy and Sailor were both sound asleep. Emma had rolled to her left side and Mike could tell that even in her sleep, it was bothering her. He rolled her back and tucked her back in. Hannah was also sound asleep. Mike tucked a blanket around her and watched her sleep for a couple minutes. He had noticed the smell of roses in her room again and given there were no roses in her bedroom, he had to wonder if it was Christine. He hoped it was. She was going to need all the comfort she could get once they told her about the new diagnosis.