Home for the Holidays

Chapter 11

Mike was thankful that Mallory could roll with the punches that he threw at her and get by on so little sleep. She pulled together an excellent meal all while dealing with a fussy baby who didn't like that his mom was trying to get him used to formula and an emotional sixteen year old. Emma's arm was sore from playing in the cold snow and there was a tearful meltdown which was unusual for her. Hannah had settled on the couch with the electric blanket on her lap and was holding Tommy and Emma had a heating pad on her shoulder. Mallory handed Mike a grocery list and indicated for him to take Sailor with him who was trying to "help" Mallory but was really just in the way. He kissed Hannah, Emma and Tommy and promised Emma he would get her a candy bar and headed Sailor out the door.

He got everything on Mallory's list in addition to some of Hannah's favorite foods. Sailor picked out candy for both her and Emma and Mike got a bouquet of flowers for Mallory. She had been an absolute rock through everything and he would have been lost without her.

When he walked back in, his heart melted when he saw Hannah and Emma both lying on the couch with Tommy between them. They were sound asleep and he wasn't sure how they were all fitting other than both Hannah and Emma were lying on their sides. Both girls had their arms around each other and were holding the baby in place. Sailor started putting the groceries away and Mallory came up behind him and hugged him from behind while he stood looking at them.

"I looked in and they were like that. I took a picture. Tommy probably shouldn't be under that blanket but he seemed content and it's not directly over him. He sure loves his big sisters and I think Hannah is kind of clinging to him right now. She made the remark that holding him was one of the only things she could do."

"She's handling it better than I figured she would. Did you find those flowers?"

"Yes. Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

"I would not have gotten through all this without you. You're amazing."

"Well, I have a pretty amazing husband. She'll be okay. She's a tough cookie and that will make a lot of difference. She also has a very loving, patient and determined dad in her corner."

"She has a lot of people in her corner."

"Yeah, she does. I just wish I had seen the symptoms sooner. In hindsight, it explains the past two months."

"Can it affect her decision making?"

"Yes and no."

"Babe, you were looking at it as a mom and not as a doctor. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"I know. I'd better get to cooking. Why don't you relax? You're still on the mend too."

"I feel okay."

"You are under a lot of stress right now. I hate to call Lupus a terminal illness but it is essentially which means that the daughter that you love so deeply was diagnosed with a terminal illness. It's natural for you to feel worried, stressed and angry. You were a little prepared since you've already dealt with her lungs and heart being so damaged but this is a pretty huge blow."

"It is tough."

"Tough isn't quite the right word. I'd better get in there but I want you to park it. Might check Tommy and make sure he isn't too warm."

"Yes, doctor." Mike reached around and kissed her. He checked on the kids. Tommy was awake so he gently lifted him away from the girls. The little guy was dry and Sailor brought in a bottle for him. Mike settled in the recliner and fed the baby. Tom and Sasha were coming about six thirty because Dana tended to run on her own time and if she did get there on time, he wanted her to have time to talk to Hannah. Tommy didn't care for the formula and kept on looking at Mike like he was thinking, "What is this crap and why isn't Mommy feeding me the good stuff?" His little forehead was all crinkled up and he was frowning around the bottle. It was probably not a good week to wean him off breastmilk.

After burping Tommy, Mike started playing with him, blowing raspberries on his cheeks and tummy and playing peek a boo. Tommy was still looking at him like he had done something wrong by feeding him a bottle and was definitely not impressed with Mike. He finally just cuddled him close and he finally went back to sleep. Emma had woke up and ended up curling up next to Mike so he would massage her arm.

The afternoon was spent pretty quietly. Hannah was sound asleep and Emma dozed off and on. Sailor helped Mallory in the kitchen and the baby was finally content in his daddy's arms. Hannah finally woke up about five and seemed to be in good spirits and had even smiled at Tommy.

"I'm going to go up, shower and change clothes. Dana didn't look sick at all. I don't want people to look at me and know I'm sick automatically."

"I understand, sweetie. It is just Tom and his family and Dana. They don't expect you to dress up."

"I want to."

"Okay. Well, holler if you need anything. If you need to use our shower, go ahead. With the bench it might be easier."

"Alright." She bent down and kissed Tommy on the top of the head and Mike's cheek. She and Emma both headed upstairs to change clothes and Sailor followed. Mallory came up beside him and Tommy woke up as soon as he heard her voice and looked at her expectedly.

"Nope, baby boy. You need to get used to your bottle and that formula. Mommy's milk is drying up. And next week, we start you on cereal and pureed fruit and veggies. Daddy's going to be on diaper duty."

"I am?"

"Yep. I've breastfed for six months, now you get the diaper duty. Perfect payback."

"When did I agree to that?"

"When you signed the birth certificate, I just forgot to mention it. In all seriousness, later I am going to do some massages on Hannah's joints. The rheumatologist suggested them. You need to know how to do them. I'll do them normally but if I'm not home, she will still need them done if she's having a flare up. Shoulders, elbows, wrists, hands, knees, ankles and feet. Part of it unfortunately."

"I definitely didn't know I was signing up for this when I signed her birth certificate. I had a perfectly healthy baby girl then."

"And you will still do it. This care maybe lifelong for her and us. We'll handle it together. Like I said, it's okay to feel angry about all this. Just remember she needs you, her dad. Not her caretaker. Don't confuse those roles."

"Yeah, I remember. I told her to use our shower since there is a bench."

"I'll go check on her. You okay?"

"Yeah. Just a word of warning about Dana. She is pretty over the top."

"Tom can be at times too."

"Oh, Dana takes it to a whole new level. She's unique."

"Becky knows her. She hadn't made the connection between her and Tom. Said she is a true professional but you never know what is going to come out of her mouth. You sure she will be a good role model for our girl?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't have introduced them if I didn't. I think her personality has become something of a coping mechanism for her. I never knew she was sick until this morning when Tom told me."

"Well, it will be a good reunion. And if Hannah won't talk to a counselor, someone with the disease is probably an even better alternative. I'd better get up there and check up on her. You good?"

"Yep, go. I need to change him. I'll put a better outfit on him."

"He has some khaki pants and a little blue button down shirt. Looks so handsome in it. I would say to put his little boots on but he hates shoes."

"He's spoiled."

"And you want another one?"

"If it was left up to me, we would have a house full."

"You just love the cause. Although you do like the effect too."

"I love the kids that are the effect. So the blue button down and khakis? Will work fine until he upchucks his formula. He doesn't love this weaning process."

"With me working more twenty fours, it's a necessity. I can't pump enough to satisfy him for that long. You being in the hospital and me not nursing him was a deciding factor, plus with Hannah, it'll help to not be tied to nursing and pumping. It has also worn me out."

"I know, babe. I'm fine with it. Plus, he may stop looking at me like I'm an alien."

"He loves you too."

"But you're his favorite parent."

"Right now."

Mike made his way into the baby's room and changed him. Tommy was fine with the clothes but looked at Mike oddly when he put his socks on him. He was beginning to wonder how they would handle it when Mallory worked her twenty four hour shifts; he hated the idea of him going to a babysitter. Hannah hadn't given him her answer about him leaving the Navy but he was thinking about retiring anyway. Hannah would have special needs and he was getting a little sick of his son looking at him like he was an alien. He would have more time for all four kids and could be a better husband. He needed to talk to Mallory about it but his mind was all but made up. Mallory came up beside him and picked Tommy up. The baby immediately cuddled up to her.

"You looked like you were in deep concentration."

"Yeah, how's Hannah?"

"Fixing Emma's hair for her. What's going on?"

"You know I told Hannah that if she wanted me to retire, I would?"

"Yeah. And she hasn't given you an answer."

"What do you think about me retiring?"

"Financially speaking, will we be okay?"

"Yeah. Pension is healthy, benefits will be included and house is paid for. We'll be okay."

"Mike, I'll be honest. I think it's a good idea. I think Hannah needs to go to school and have a normal life but I also want one of us available if she has a rough day. With my schedule, it can't always be me. Plus, it would give you more time with the other three. And I like the idea where your heart is concerned. Medically speaking, there is no explanation for what happened but I don't like the added stress you're under at work."

"So you're good with it?"

"I will support you regardless but I think this is the best decision for our family. And I promise not to make impulsive buys like I did this morning without talking to you first."

"It helps Hannah and your earning money too. You don't have to discuss every purchase."

"Remember me calling you right after we got married wanting to know if I could buy toothpaste?"

"Yeah. No need for that! Besides I am the impulsive one."

"You are where the kids are concerned. You love spoiling them."

"They've been through a lot. Now I will be able to spend more time with them."

"So, it's a yes on the retirement?"

"Yeah. I am going to tell Hannah I'm retiring regardless and I'll talk to President Oliver the day after tomorrow. I have some time banked up so that'll get us through the next month."

"Okay. I am definitely looking forward to having you home." She laid Tommy down on his changing table and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a long kiss. Hannah walked in and made a gagging noise which only prolonged the kiss.

"Geez, get a room!"

"Mal, our room is right down the hall. Hannah, can you watch the kids for a bit?"

"Gross, Dad. Besides our company will be here soon."

"It won't take too long."

"Yuck, Dad, yuck!" She left the room and headed downstairs. Mike and Mallory both started laughing hysterically. It was good to see her looking and acting like a normal sixteen year old given how traumatic things had been for her.

"We'd better get downstairs."

"Yeah. No side trips to our bedroom."

"Catheter a couple days would slow you down a lot anyway."

"Mood killer."

They headed downstairs. Emma and Sailor were setting the table and Hannah was putting the roasted chicken on a platter. Mike could tell she was struggling so he immediately jumped in to help her. Mallory was putting the potatoes in a serving bowl. Emma and Sailor were occupied and Mallory nodded at him. It was as good of a time as any to talk to Hannah.

"So, you hadn't given me an answer as far as retiring."

"Yeah, I don't know, Daddy. You love your job and besides this new disease will cost money."

"I love you more. Mallory and I have been talking. I'm taking this out of your hands. I am putting my papers in the day after tomorrow. I want to be home with you kids. As far as the costs, you'll still be covered with my benefits. We'll be fine."

"You want to do this?"

"I do. A lot of things have contributed to this decision. Mallory will be working more, Tommy looking at me like I'm an alien, your diagnosis, Mallory says my heart is fine but doesn't want me stressed, being around for all four of you kids more. The list is endless but I feel great about this step."

"Dad, we all look at you like you're an alien at times."

"Gee, thanks."

Hannah smiled at him and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a huge hug. Mallory smiled over at him but kept the younger girls occupied. He would explain it to them later but for now, Hannah needed the attention. Emma and Sailor would be thrilled with the news anyway. Hannah finally pulled away and went back to plating the chicken. The doorbell rang and Mike headed for it. He saw Dana through the sidelight and immediately opened it. Dana gave him a huge smile and practically threw a bottle of wine at him as she barged in.

"Mike, you got a bathroom? Ten hours on the dispatch floor isn't good for my bladder."

"No, I have an outhouse. That doorway over there. Let me take your coat. Nice car, by the way. Is that a '67 Mustang?"

"Pee first, car later."

Mike hung Dana's coat up and looked into the kitchen. Mallory and Hannah were both laughing at the interaction. Dana was an experience. Mike was checking the car out through the window when Dana came back out of the bathroom.

"You drooling over my car?"

"It's nice. Your brother will be here about six thirty. I know you work on Dana time so I allowed for that."

"Well, I also want to meet this special woman who took you off the market and is that Emma? And you had another daughter?"

"Anna, or Sailor as your brother nicknamed her is adopted. She's been with us almost a year. This is Mallory, who also happens to be an incredible cook. And yes, that's Emma."

"Mike, you have a bunch of heartbreakers on your hands. They're beautiful."

"Yeah, already chasing the boys away."

Mike introduced Dana to Mallory, Emma and Sailor. Dana was a hugger and Mike could tell the younger girls were slightly taken aback by her rather gregarious behavior. Mallory and Dana had hit it off immediately and were talking recipes. Mike was kind of at a loss as to what to do until Tommy woke up. After changing him, Dana immediately took him out of his arms.

"Hey, now. You'll have a new niece and nephew here in a couple minutes to spoil. Leave me to spoil my boy!"

"I'm so glad he looks and acts like his mom."

"I'll agree."

The doorbell rang and Hannah took the baby from Dana to free up her arms. Mike went to the door and took a deep breath. Tom and his family were on the other side and looked cold.

"Since when do you all ring the doorbell?"

"Hands were full with the kids. Whose car? Or is it a midlife crisis? You already have the younger wife."

"You too. Get in, before your kids disown you. We have another guest."

"Who?"

"Hey, big brother." Tom looked at Mike with a shocked look and immediately handed Sarah Elizabeth to him so he could hug Dana. Mike wasn't sure he had ever seen Tom cry until that moment. Sam and Ashley had piled in for a hug and Sasha looked at Mike suspiciously.

"How did you find her? Tom and I had looked everywhere."

"Found her married name and then checked a database that had been created for law enforcement. My name is on it since I was a cop and she's on it since she's a dispatcher. It wasn't too hard. She just happens to work in St. Louis."

"She's been this close?"

"Yeah. Just a coincidence. Oh no, Sarah Elizabeth, not you too. I am not an alien! Let's get this door closed and you guys out of the entryway. They can stay and hug if they want to."

Between Mike and Sasha they got the kids moved into the living room, leaving Tom and Dana to themselves. Mike laid Sarah Elizabeth down next to Tommy in his playpen and rubbed her belly until she fell asleep. Mallory had dinner on the table and Mike stuck his head out into the entryway and told that it was time to eat.

They finally came in and settled down to eat. They had both cried but Dana was the life of the party. She let Mike know she didn't approve of him putting her niece to sleep before she got to hold her and had Jed on her lap. Mallory had purposely sit Dana next to Hannah and they were quietly talking. Mike was on Dana's other side and was adding to the conversation when it was the right times to do so.

"Mike, do you have gym equipment? Free weights and such?"

"Yeah. Some. Also have a treadmill and an elliptical. Why?"

"Hannah, you might start working out. Nothing crazy but it helps the joints more than you realize. A couple minutes on the elliptical, a mile or two on the treadmill and if you can get a stationary bike, do. That helps me more than anything else. Add in the weights as you feel you can, Hannah. Processed foods, specifically prepackaged foods are packed with salt and salt causes inflammation. Inflammation hurts. Did the doctor suggest pain meds and such?"

"Yeah, Mallory had the conversation with him. She didn't get the prescriptions. Wanted to try the heat therapy first because of the side effects."

"Heat therapy did more for me. I had the so called therapies and was sick. I was in a wheelchair the entire three months. And I was weak. What brought on this flare up?" Hannah looked down at her hands and Mike could see the look of shame on her face. She was still having trouble with what had happened to him.

"I had a minor health issue and she broke up with her boyfriend."

"You allowed her to have a boyfriend?"

"Not exactly."

"In any case, Hannah, don't stress about stuff like that. I know it seems hard but don't. The people that love you won't add stress to your life. And stress is what you make of it. Nothing more or less. You will have doctors, with the exception of your stepmom, tell you that you'll be crippled, won't be able to work, will die young, and not have a quality life. I was told all those things but you get to choose. You can feel sorry for yourself and all that stuff will happen. My biggest piece of advice is, choose the people in your life wisely. They will have an impact on your illness. This bunch here, even your overly protective dad, is exactly who you need in your life."

Hannah nodded at her and went back to eating. She was still coming to grips with her illness. Mike mouthed a "thank you" to Dana and squeezed Hannah's hand. He would be buying a stationary bike for his small home gym in the garage. He had a basement that he had been meaning to remodel and it would be better for Hannah to be in the heat. With his retirement, he would have the time to do it. Dana went back to visiting with the other people at the table. Mallory had been on the other side of the table between Ashley and Jed and had heard the conversation and nodded at Mike, telling him she agreed with what Dana had said. Mike knew that Dana would be around more and would be guiding Hannah.

The conversation around the table was light and happy. Mike did announce that he would be retiring after Emma and Sailor left the table. Tom and Sasha didn't seem very surprised by it at all. Tom understood the need to take care of his sick child and to spend more time with his other children. The letter of resignation would be difficult to write but he felt good about the retirement. He had noticed the smell of roses again. Hannah was eating the pineapple cake that Mallory had made and everyone else was occupied.

"Hannah, do you have a new perfume?"

"No, why?"

"I keep smelling roses and it's always around you." Hannah started grinning ear to ear and laughing. Mike was really suspicious. She looked over at the playpen where Tommy was lying awake but was babbling at no one in particular.

"It's Mom. She's here."

"Honey, are you feeling okay?"

"Yep. It's hard to explain. But just know that it's Mom. Accept that."

"I'm confused but okay. I'm okay with her being here. I wish Lucas was too."

"He is. And he will let you know it at some point."

Okay, one more chapter after this and it will be a jump forward! Thanks for you all's patience with me getting these done so late!