Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and I do not own Harry Potter. I am not making money from this story, it is purely for entertainment.

Chapter 5:

The sound of the cup hitting the table seemed deafening to Harry. He didn't think he could stomach anything, even liquid but refrained from saying so. He wasn't even sure he still had a voice. Instead he reached out and wrapped his hands around the steaming cup, trying to ease the numbing cold that seemed to radiate to his bones and avoided Lupin's studious glances as he sat across from him at the table. With a sigh Lupin drank, and for a while the only sounds were those of the crackling fire in the kitchen hearth and the soft thud of his cup as it hit the table. Harry, however, could not escape his thunderous thoughts as the nights events replayed over and over in his mind, tainted and twisted by possession and confusion. It still seemed like a distant memory, a shattered dream he once had and he had difficultly convincing himself it wasn't just another vision, another trick spawned by Voldemort's evil. However, the sight of Sirius plummeting beyond the broken wall, away from Azkaban - from Harry, seemed to flash behind his eyelids with sickening clarity. His fingers clenched around the cup and distantly he became aware of a sharp pain across his knuckles. Without thought he lifted his hands and stared at the ugly wounds, coated in blood and dirt, with little care. He barely acknowledged the pain and lowered his hands to ignore them once more. Lupin however, did not ignore it.

"I'm sorry, Harry." He began calmly, softly. "I didn't realise. May I?"

He asked reaching out his hand to inspect the wounds. Harry looked at him strangely. Compared to the other wounds he had sustained over his time in Azkaban, the cuts on his hands were inconsequential. However, the slight pleading he saw in Lupin's eyes had him reaching out without further thought. To Harry, it seemed that healing his wounds gave him some sense of purpose and so he did not refuse. However at first contact, Harry gasped softly and retreated with an awkward jerk of his arm, moving to his side of the table once more. He stared staring at his fingertips with distant shock. Everything seemed more vivid and yet more surreal than he could remember. Now, with a clear head, even the smallest of touches seemed strange to him. Even his skin tingled where contact had been made however, that could have been born from his own stinted imagination. How Harry had longed for human contact as he wasted away in Azkaban and now it was as foreign to him as the wood beneath his fingertips.

Harry coughed slightly, and peered awkwardly at the elder man through his knotted bangs. Lupin however hadn't flinched at Harry's sudden retreat, but kept his hand stretched forward, a look of calm understanding in his eyes.

"It's alright." He whispered and Harry clenched his fingers once, twice before he slowly placed his right hand into the man's much larger palm. Lupin breathed out softly and lifted his wand with his free hand, murmuring a soft healing spell that Harry had never heard of. Slowly, his skin knitted together under the tip of his wand, leaving a slight tingling in its wake. Harry placed his left hand forward and Lupin repeated the actions. Once the spell was finished, Lupin lowered his wand but he kept Harry's hand within his gentle grasp, his thumb stroking the now healed skin in contemplative silence. "I'm sure Madam Pomfrey could do much better than I, but it should do for now."

A memory flashed through Harry's mind at the softly spoken comment, similar words being said while they stood within the Shrieking Shack. The night Harry had met his godfather. Shutting his eyes tight, Harry tried to force the memory away. He took a shaky breath to compose himself but between the sudden thought of losing Sirius and the soft affectionate touch of his godfather's oldest friend, he could feel the burning surge of tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"Sirius…" Harry croaked, unable to continue through the lump in his throat. He felt the tightening of Lupin's fingers around his hand before they relaxed and began their soft journey once more. The only indication of his silent worry.

"It'll be alright, Harry." Lupin said. He had repeated the phrase throughout the night as if he was convincing himself more than Harry. "You'll see. Albus will find him."

Whether he found him alive or not was heard as loud as if Lupin had shouted it in the silence that had enveloped them. He pulled his hand from the other's grasp. Harry couldn't remember much of what happened after Sirius had fell. Voldemort's sudden and painful exit from Harry's body had exhausted him beyond words, even more so due to his weakened state. He heard muffled conversation, the feel of Lupin's hand around his upper arm and the sickening introduction to the method of apparition. By the time Harry had stopped feeling nauseous, he was being led gently through Grimmauld Place and into the kitchen.

And so the hours passed, slowly with each tick of the clock. The tears that had threatened to fall earlier retreated into the back of Harry's mind. He felt too detached from everything to cry. He wrapped his hands around the now cold teacup, and stared into the black depths. At some point Lupin half-heartedly offered to freshen the liquid but Harry's silence was answer enough. A sudden burst of fire mid-air caused Harry to jump to his feet, knocking the liquid onto the table. No one took any notice. The light dimmed, retreating into the shadowed darkness of the room and there, standing in the middle of the room was Dumbledore supporting an injured, exhausted yet very much alive Sirius Black.

Despite his obvious injuries, Sirius moved swiftly around the table and pulled Harry into a hug so tight he struggled to breath. Harry tried to lift his arms to return the hug but he was frozen. He could feel the strong thump of his godfather's heartbeat against his cheek and some of the tension that had locked his battered frame seemed to vanish. He closed his eyes and buried his face in Sirius' robes in an uncharacteristic show of vulnerability. He didn't know how he knew, but he knew this was real. Sirius was alive.

Sirius pulled back suddenly, his hands coming up to cup Harry's face as he peered down at him with concern. "Are you hurt?"

He asked, scanning his body quickly yet thoroughly for any signs of injury. He paused suddenly and dropped his hands to Harry's, lifting them up to eye level, taking in the signs of blood and healed skin.

"I healed his hands." Lupin said softly, answering Sirius' unasked question. "I'm not sure how they became like that."

"I know." Sirius responded softly, staring into Harry's eyes with such intensity that Harry looked away. "Trying to break out."

"Yes." Harry agreed softly, pulling his hands from Sirius' grasp, his eyes lowered to the floor.

"Tried to do it myself after the first week." Sirius' voice sounded somewhere from above him. The words seemed to reverberate in the air after he said them, slightly tense. Sirius moved swiftly towards the opposite side of the kitchen and Harry raised his head in time to see Sirius embrace Lupin tightly, both ignoring their obvious injuries from the battle.

"How on earth did you survive that fall, my friend?" Lupin asked calmly, but Harry could see the disbelief in his eyes as clearly as if he had screamed it.

Sirius gave a bark of laughter. "I have my ways, old Moony. Still, not as quick as I used to be. If it hadn't been for Albus I probably would have been lost to the sea."

Although Sirius said it calmly, evenly Harry felt a chill course through him at the flippant words. How different this night could have been seemed to linger in his mind, enveloping him in coldness as if a dementor was near. As soon as the thought came, it receded and a warm, comforting presence took its place. Harry blinked and turned his head to come in contact with Dumbledore's warm gaze. The other wizard winked softly before turning back to the blazing fire and stared into its depths as if it held the secrets of the war, looking older than Harry could ever remember.

The clink of glass against wood drew Harry's attention away from the elder wizard to his godfather, who was taking a small gulp of firewhiskey before handing it to his friend. "It helps with the shock, trust me."

Lupin stared at the bottle warily before grabbing it and lifting it to his lips. He took a sip and grimaced, putting the bottle out of reach. Sirius smirked and clapped him on the shoulder. "Lightweight."

"Where's Alastor?" Lupin asked suddenly, his eyes scanning the room quickly as if expecting him to appear from the shadows.

"Alerting the Order." Dumbledore said, without looking away from the fire. "There is much to discuss. It appears Cornelius is more misled than we feared."

"What do you mean?" Lupin asked. "He saw Voldemort with his own eyes."

Sirius' face darkened, his eyes glinting in the firelight like steel. "He's still denying his return. The attack was orchestrated by Albus and me, with the aid of a madman and a werewolf or so he claims. He'll see this world brought to ruin with his ignorance and greed."

Sirius finished coldly, examining his arm with interest before tapping it gently with his wand and watching as the ugly burn that had covered most of the skin disappeared. Sirius raised his head suddenly and caught Harry's gaze.

"Congratulations Harry." Sirius began, gloomily. "You been promoted to an escaped convict."

Harry wavered on the spot perilously before Sirius walked around the pulled his abandoned chair under him.

"Sit down before you fall down." He said softly and Harry obeyed gladly, too exhausted to argue. Sirius crouched down beside him, one hand balancing his weight against the back of the chair. He was careful not to touch Harry, talking to him as if a frightened animal. "Listen to me," He said softly, waiting until Harry met his eyes. "Whatever comes next, whatever happens….the main thing is that you're out of there and you're safe. We can deal with anything else after that. You hear me?"

Harry nodded. It was true, nothing was as bad, as horrifying as Azkaban. And as he stared into the haunted eyes of his godfather, tainted by the same horrors he had witnessed, he felt a surge of affection for the man; a connection he never felt before. If Sirius could still fight after twelve years of imprisonment then surely he could as well. Harry looked at the other two men in the room who remained suspiciously quiet and realised they were listening intently with every word, allowing Sirius to talk to him.

"It's ok to feel here Harry." He coaxed. "No one is going to take it away."

The gentle tone of his godfather's voice, the warm presence of the men around him and the lingering traces of Dumbledore's spell flowing through his veins somehow made him feel relaxed despite the situation. There was no pity in their eyes, just calm understanding and Harry felt as if he could finally speak. He could relieve himself of the horrors he had witnessed. Another part of him wanted to run, to hide and not have to deal with the moment when the shock would fade and the memories would return.

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it." Dumbledore said softly as if reading his mind. Harry felt a tremor go through him at the words, the memory of another time when he had to relieve past horrors and the relief he felt when he finally voiced it. Harry took a deep breath and looked down at his clasped hands.

"Voldemort…he made me see things, people that weren't real, weren't alive…. I-I saw my mu-"

The thundering sound of the door slamming startled Harry so much, he almost toppled of his chair. Sirius came to a stand, cursing under his breath when his mother's portrait began screaming her usual venom. Lupin rushed from the room to silence her. No sooner had the door closed behind him than it swung open again as Mrs. Weasley rushed into the room, letting out a muffled scream when she saw Harry.

"Oh Harry," she said sobbing, coming towards him with her arms out-stretched. "I came as soon as I heard."

For some unexplainable reason Harry felt panic rise through his chest at the sudden interruption and jumped back so forcefully, he knocked his chair to the ground. He saw the hurt that flashed across the woman's face at the rejection and instantly felt guilty for his reaction. However, some part of him closed off at the intrusion. He no longer felt….safe. He shuffled on the spot awkwardly, avoiding her glance.

"You poor boy," She continued on, wringing her hands. "It must have been just terrible-"

"Of course it was terrible you idiot women" Harry heard Sirius mutter under his breath but it appeared Mrs. Weasley had not.

"What you need is a good hot meal, you're nothing but skin and bones." Mrs. Weasley said, almost as if she was speaking to herself.

"Molly," Sirius said with forced calm. "He has barely eaten in weeks, he cannot stomach a full meal. You'll make him sick. Instead of treating him like a child, why don't you ask Harry what he needs?"

"What he needs-" Mrs. Weasley replied angrily, her face turning as red as her hair.

"Enough." Dumbledore said softly, firmly and Harry was surprised to see real anger in his eyes as he glanced between the two adults. Sirius took a calming breath and looked away while Mrs. Weasley shuffled on the spot irritably, clearly readying for a fight. Dumbledore said no more and turned to look at Harry who was avoiding his eyes. Instead he stared at the heavy folds of his midnight blue robes, wanting nothing more than to hide away from everything. He wondered if there was enough room for him in the many folds of Dumbledore's outer robes that he could simply disappear. If he could have, he would have laughed at the thought. Distantly Harry realised that the hallway was silent once more and Lupin had returned to the room, without drawing attention to his presence. He wondered how much he had heard.

"'M tired." Harry said softly, not speaking to anyone in particular.

"Yes, yes." Mrs. Weasley said cheerfully. "A good night's sleep will do wonders. Up to bed with you."

Harry heard Sirius sigh heavily. "Your trunk is in the room you stayed in during summer. Minerva brought it here after-"

Harry only nodded and turned swiftly towards the door.

"One moment," Dumbledore said gently, stopping Harry in his tracks. He expected an argument and turned to face the elder man with a sense of foreboding. However, when he faced him he was holding a small bottle of purple potion, which Harry recognised as dreamless sleep. "You should be free of nightmares for tonight at least."

Harry took the potion without looking at the others and began the long assent to his room.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHP

"What will you do about Umbridge?" Sirius asked quietly, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. Albus sighed and rested his aging bones against the other side watching the teen sleep, a look of peace on his face. He wasn't sure how long he and Sirius had stood here, watching over Harry as he slept, but he felt some relief knowing that the young man was finally getting some well-needed rest.

"Minerva will see to the running of the school in my absence." Albus responded in equal volume, not wishing to disturb the youngest of the three. "Until my reinstatement, I must put my faith in her."

"You seem certain you will be reinstated."

"It is only a matter of time before Cornelius must confront the truth." Albus said, trying to ignore the small niggling of doubt that had formed in the back of his mind. "Dolores Umbridge was placed in Hogwarts as a means of spying on Harry and I. Our absence ensures her poison will be less effective. I hope." He added under his breath, his blood boiling at the thought of that woman near his students without his protection. However, it was another's protection he cared about now.

"Do you truly believe he will recover from this, Sirius?" Albus asked in an uncharacteristic show of doubt, glancing to the younger man at his side. He had never truly felt his age in so very long.

Sirius sighed and flexed his shoulders, his eyes never leaving his godson. "Yes, he just needs understanding and time…to heal." Sirius said turning to face Albus, a steely look of determination in his eyes. "And he cannot do it here."

Albus sighed and closed his eyes. "If I thought that it would help him, I would Sirius but this is the best place for him."

"Rubbish!' Sirius responded in a furious whisper. "How can this be the best place for him? He needs space. Not this pit of misery. You can't keep him here, Albus. Take him away somewhere, anywhere and remind him what it's like to be free. You can protect him better than anyone! The Order doesn't need you-"

"However, Harry needs you." Albus said softly. Sirius stopped abruptly and stared at Albus in shock. "You are the one that understands what he needs. You are what's best for him. You proved that tonight."

Albus turned back towards Harry and watched his body twitch slightly however he knew it was not caused by nightmares. It was his weakened body, so broken down that it struggled even in slumber.

"No." Sirius said softly and Albus turned to him once more. "No, he doesn't need me. He needs someone who loves him, it doesn't really matter who that is. If I doubted for a second that you weren't suitable, I wouldn't let you near him. You proved that tonight."

Albus smiled softly, remembering the sacrifice the younger man had almost made to protect him during Bellatrix's attack. "I never did say thank you, did I?"

Sirius shrugged and turned back towards his godson. "Voldemort tried to throw Harry in Bellatrix's way. You made sure that didn't happen at risk to yourself. You would have given your life for him. I was simply returning the favor. Besides, I'm younger than you. I can heal quicker."

Albus chuckled softly. "That is certainly true."

"Take him away from here, Albus. Heal him, help him….and then train him to survive this war." Sirius said, his voice suddenly serious. "Before Molly starts force-feeding him."