Chapter 3 – Meeting

It was two weeks later and the results of the three DNA-tests were in. Not surprisingly the results were that Lacey was indeed the biological child of Diane Schonke and Jeffrey Pachner.
Now it was up to Harm and Mac to come up with a way to tell Lacey.
They decided to invite her for coffee that Saturday evening and then Harm would slowly break the news. So a few days later there was knock on the door and Lacey walked in. She looked better than the last time they saw her. Apparently she had more or less dealt with the fact Mac wasn't her mother.
After some catching up Mac tentatively asked.
"Your search for you birthmother, are there any developments?"
Lacey shook her head. "No," she said. "I decided to table it for now. I needed time to come to terms that you're not my mother." She looked at Mac. "I would have liked you as my mum,' she whispered.
"I'm sure you would have made a wonderful daughter," Mac smiled warmly.
"And I ran out of clues. I tried to google for the law firm, but not knowing which state to look in, it's not much use. Next to that, it's 19 years ago. There is always the possibility the firm is out of business by now. I asked my dad whether he has more paperwork, I still don't have my original birth certificate, but he says he hasn't any. I don't know whether to believe him ..." She sighed. "But for now I have to accept that."
Harm stood and went for a second round of coffee, once more pondering his next move.
"I like to share a story with you,' he said, sitting down again.
"Some years ago, when I was at the Naval Academy in Annapolis, I had a very good friend: Diane. We didn't date; romantic relations between students are forbidden, but we were very close. After we graduated we kept in contact, mainly by letter. Five years ago her ship was due to come home and we had a date scheduled. In fact, it was meant to decide whether to bring our relation to the next level or to just stay friends. I was there, but she didn't turn up. The next day her body was found; my friend had been killed."
"I'm sorry," Lacey said, confused. " But what does that have to do …?"
Harm swallowed. "Diane and Mac looked exactly the same."
He saw understanding and realisation dawn in Lacey's eyes. She jumped to her feet.
"You mean, your friend Diane could be my mother. And she was killed!?"
Harm nodded "Yes."
Lacey paced the room, to upset to sit. When she finally took her seat again, she demanded more information.
"Are you sure she is my mum? Do you know whether she had a child? How old was she? Do I have more family? Grandparents? Uncles and aunts? Do you know who my father is? Who killed her?"
Harm did his best to answer her questions.
"She never told me about a baby, but I contacted her parents, who are still alive. They confirmed Diane had a baby girl. She was an only child so there are no uncles or aunts. She would have been 35 by now."
"That means she was 16 when she had me … if she is my mother." Lacey was stunned. "Is that why she gave me up for adoption? Because she was so young? But her parents … Didn't they help? Did they kick her out? And my father?"
Mac tried to calm the exited girl down.
"Take a breath. Harm will tell you in a minute."
There was something in her look which had the girl suddenly on high alert. She looked at Harm for confirmation and found the same almost piteous look in his eyes. She gasped.
"She was raped, right?! She was raped! She didn't want me for she was raped!" Sadly Harm nodded.
Lacey choked back a sob and hid her face in her hands .

They sat in silence for a while until Lacey looked up again.
"Tell me," she demanded. "Tell me everything!"
"When you left a few weeks back, after the results of your and Mac's DNA-tests were in, Mac and I had a long conversation. I already suspected you might be Diane's daughter, but didn't want to run ahead. Over the years I kept in touch with Mr and Mrs Schonke and now I called them to schedule a meeting. I asked them whether Diane had a child and they had to admit she had a baby-girl when she was sixteen."
Slowly, frequently waiting to give Lacey the opportunity to let his words sink in, he told her Diane's story.
Then he awaited her next questions.
"What did my … my … my grandparents say?"
"They look forward to meet you very much. As I said, it was Diane's wish to have you adopted; they were prepared to raise you themselves."
"Do I have siblings?"
"Yes, Diane never had another child, but Jeffrey married and has a son age nine and a daughter age seven."
"Do they know about me?"
"No. Telling your kids you once raped a girl and made her pregnant is not a thing a man likes to do. However, his wife knows. He told her a long time ago, before they were married."
He stood to retrieve an envelope from his desk.
"After I got the results back, I notified Mr and Mrs Pachner and Jeffrey Pachner as well. He sent me this letter. It contained a short letter to me and a letter to you, including some pictures of your father and his family." He pulled out a sealed envelope and handed it over to Lacey, but she didn't take it.
"I don't know … Can you keep it for a while?" she said, biting her lower lip. Mac stood up and sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her. Lacey's lips started to tremble and then she was crying uncontrollably.

It had taken Lacey quite a while to calm down again. By then she was exhausted, both from the emotions and from crying. Knowing her roommate was out of town, Mac had decided not to let her go home alone, instead made the bed in the spare room and had her sleep over. Now it was close to midnight and she and Harm were sitting in front of the fire, enjoying a last drink.
Mac sighed. "I don't know if you can say 'that went well'," she voiced her thoughts.
"I would say it went as well as we could expect," Harm answered. "After all, it's not nothing to hear who your birthparents are, that you're conceived during a rape and that your mother has been murdered. I hope she goes into counselling, I don't know …"
"She already is in counselling," Mac told him. "When I helped her into bed, she told me she is been seeing a psychologist for some weeks, in fact since we had to tell her she is not my child. She asked me to join her next week and tell the whole story. She doesn't feel able to do that herself now. I also told her her grandparents wrote her a letter as well, but she says she needs more time before reading it, so she asked us to keep that one as well for now. She wants us to contact them, though, and tell them she will be in touch soon."
"I will call them tomorrow," Harm resolved.

The next day
The next morning Lacey woke up a little embarrassed. When Mac came in with a tray with breakfast, she blushed and hid her face under the blanket.
"Don't," Mac told her calmly. "We don't hold anything against you; it was a very emotional and stressful evening for you, hearing who your birthmother is and at the same time learning you're conceived by rape and that she was murdered."
Lacey nodded, taking the mug of tea from her. Mac sat down with her coffee.
"What do you want to do today? You know your grandparents sent you a letter as well."
"I think I like to read that one. I know I said I wanted to wait, but … Do you think they will be mad when I don't want to meet them right away?" She sounded really concerned.
"No," Mac soothed her. "Harm is going to call them today and explain you need a bit of time."

Two weeks later
The next two weeks had been straining on Lacey. Although Mac had made her promise to stay in touch, she wasn't quite sure the girl would do, so she took it upon herself to call her a few times.
As promised she had accompanied her to the psychologist and told her the whole story as well and a few extra appointments were scheduled.
Since the girl still found it very hard to talk about it, Mac had informed Lacey's roommate Marylyn as well and Marylyn had promised to keep an eye on the confused girl and make sure she took care of herself.
In the meantime Harm had contacted both the Schonkes and Mr Pachner, telling them Lacey now knew the whole story. Mr and Mrs Schonke were eager to meet her, but realised their granddaughter needed more time. They were very grateful Harm and Mac were taking care of her. Mr Pachner also indicated he and his son would wait for Lacey to contact them rather than taking any actions themselves. They had discussed telling Jack's children about their older sister, but had decided against it. They would only learn when Lacey decided to contact Jeffrey and wanted to meet his family.

On Friday evening there was a phone call. Mac took it.
"Lacey," she said surprised. "How are you doing?"
"Not too bad," the girl admitted shyly. "I think I'm ready for the next step. I want to meet my grandparents."
"That's great," Mac reassured her warmly. "I'm sure they will be thrilled to meet you."
By now Harm had laid his book and listened to the one-sided conversation.
"But …" the girl hesitated.
"Yes?"
"I'm still a bit nervous about … well, you know, everything. Do you think … maybe Harm would come with me?" she asked hopefully.
"I'm sure he will, but ask him yourself." Mac handed Harm the telephone. She left the room in order for them to talk freely. When she came back, Harm just put down the receiver.
"I'll give Lacey a ride to her grandparents Sunday afternoon," he told her. "I'm going to call the Schonkes now to make sure they will be home."

Sunday afternoon
"Don't you come with us?" Lacey asked Mac, a bit surprised.
"No. Remember, I look very much like your mother. Your grandparents haven't seen me, yet. It's emotional enough to meet you; they don't need a confrontation with their deceased daughter's lookalike."
Lacey nodded, realizing she was right. Mac gave the girl a hug and stepped back, seeing the car drive off.
During the trip Harm tried to make a bit of conversation, but Lacey was too nervous. Despite Harm and Mac's reassurance her grandparents would welcome her with open arms she was afraid for what was to come.
"Will you stay?" she suddenly asked.
"If that's what you want?" Harm didn't want to intrude.
"Yes, please?"

Sunday afternoon
Schonkes' residence
It was not long before Harm turned into the quiet neighbourhood and parked the car in front of the medium sized two-story house. By the sudden movement of the curtains he could see someone had been standing on the lookout, but it wasn't before they climbed the three steps up to the porch that the door went open.
Both Mr and Mrs Schonke stood in the door frame, visibly nervous. For long moments both parties just stood and looked at each other till Mr Schonke croaked "Come in."
Like he had done weeks before he showed them into the living, while his wife went to get the tea. But as soon as she entered the spacious sunny room, Lacey gasped and fell dead in her steps. The room was dominated by the large portrait of Diane, hanging over the fire place.
"My mother," she whispered. Slowly, with stiff legs, she walked over and ran her fingertips over the surface.
In the hallway Harm saw Mrs Schonke emerge from the kitchen, carrying a tray.
"Let me take that," he said and took it out of her hands.
With a tilt of his head he indicated her to go first. When she saw her granddaughter standing in front of her mother's portrait, looking so much alike, she covered her mouth with her hands and Harm heard her sharp intake of breath.
Lacey heard it, too, and turned around. And then the two women, grandmother and granddaughter, were in each other's arms, both crying. For a moment Mr Schonke stood still, then he joined the women, wrapping his arms around both. The twitching around his mouth betrayed how hard he tried not to burst out in tears himself.
Harm placed the tray on the table and took the liberty to sit down. Sometime later the Schonkes and Lacey did the same.
Mr Schonke shook his head almost in disbelief. "You look so much like your mother,' he sighed.
Lacey bit her lips.
"Tell me about her."
"She was the light of our life. I had trouble conceiving, so Diane was our only child. She was not much a girlie-girl; she liked to play outside, race her bike, shoot hoops. She played baseball, until ..."
"Until she became pregnant?" Lacey asked.
"Yes. She helped coaching a little league team. She loved baseball."
Harm nodded; Diane had been an avid player during their time on the Academy.
"We have lots of photo's we can show you." He made mime to rise and get them.
Lacey hesitated and Harm stepped in.
"I think we should do that at a later time. I'm sure Lacey would love to see them, but this time is very emotional for her, for the three of you and I think we should take it one step at the time."
"Of course, love," Mrs Schonke was quick to agree. "We can do it exactly the way you like it. We are so happy to have you here and we hope it's not the last time we see you."
"It won't!" Lacey reacted fiercely. "I'm also very, very happy to have found my birth family and I plan to be around a lot. But Harm is right. I feel better when we take things a bit more slowly."
Her grandmother gave her a hug. Then she continued telling.
"Diane never loved the soft and pastel colours. When she was little, the main colours in her room were bright yellow and green. Later it became ochre and brick red. It's still there; we couldn't make ourselves to change it. Besides, we didn't need the space."
"Despite her love for the outdoors, she loved reading. Nancy Drew was her favourite when she was young. Later she turned to the more 'old fashioned' detectives, like Agatha Christy. She never liked the blood and so, she preferred the psychological hunt for the killer. Miss Marple was her favourite and another English writer, Patricia Wenthworth with Miss Silver as main character. She put quite a lot of time in completing her collection. Next to that she loved to read biographies."
Lacey nodded. "I love to read as well. And I love crafting."
Mrs Schonke beamed.
"I do, too. Diane didn't. I always dreamed of a daughter to craft together, but, when it wasn't to be, I hoped for a granddaughter. Maybe we can make somethings together."
"I'd love to. I'm sure you can teach me a lot."
Mrs Schonke rose to pour a fresh round of tea and served a piece of cherry pie.
"Home made," she told. "I love to cook as well. Often Diane helped me, although she was more into baking. This was her favourite."
"I like to cook, but I'm not good at it. My roommate Marylyn and I take turns is preparing dinner."
"Tell us some about yourself," her grandfather requested.
"Well, you know I'm 19 and born February 19th. William and Betty McKinneck adopted me straight away. We lived in a small town in New England. I went to school there and later to secondary school. When I was twelve, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was treated but the cancer came back and when I was sixteen she passed away. I only learned I was adopted shortly before my mother died." Suddenly she looked a bit glum. "I mean, I know Diane was my mother, but …"
"It's okay," both the elderly people told her simultaneously. "We are fine with you calling your adoption parents mum and dad and your birth parents Diane and Jeff."
For a second Lacey pulled a face at the hearing of Jeff's name, but she didn't comment.
"After mum's death my dad and I … well, I think you can say we lost each other in the process of mourning. He started dating again only three months later and I thought it way to early. I couldn't understand how he could forget so soon? Now I can see some people are not meant to be alone. It also turned out adoption had been more my mother's wish than his. It was a relief to both of us that I graduated and left for college."
"And now?" her grandfather wanted to know." How is your relation now?"
"It's going better. I like his current lady friend. But he is not keen on me trying to contact my birth families and that causes strain again. Maybe now I have found you, he will accept."
"What are you doing now?"
"I live and study in Washington. I have a roommate, Marylyn. We get along very well. I have some other friends, but not someone special. I study sociology, but since this whole process took so much energy, I might put that on halt for a while. As I said I love to read and craft and my therapist encourages me to make something, a work of art, put something in writing, whatever, to process this whole ... well, everything that has happened. I kept a diary for a while, but it wasn't really my thing. I guess I have to find something else for I think she is right. Making something helps to get things out of your head, so you're not keep mulling."
Harm had to bit back a smile; he was all too familiar with that.
Mrs Schonke plucked a photo from the mantle and showed it to her newfound granddaughter. "This is Diana in third grade. Back then she loved working with clay. Maybe that's something you would enjoy." For a moment Lacey looked at them with intense attention, but then she returned it with a vague smile.
"There are lots more," her grandmother told her. "As soon as you feel ready, I'll show them. I will have copies made if you want some. And her room is still more or less the same as when she left for the Academy."
Lacey leaned back into the cushions. Suddenly she looked exhausted.
"I think it's better to save that for the next time," Harm voiced his opinion once again. "Now you have found each other I'm sure Lacey will visit lots of times."
Lacey nodded her agreement, both with the suggestion to leave the room and the rest of the photo's to another time as to his comment about visiting.
"That's fine with us, darling," her grandfather reassured her. "Whatever is best for you."
Mrs Schonke asked tentatively "You look tired. We don't want to kick you out, but maybe … when you prefer to go home now, we won't be angry."
"Yes, please. It's just a bit ... overwhelming."
Her grandmother patted her hand. "Sweetheart, we understand."
They rose. Lacey looked at Harm.
"Can I have a moment alone with my grandparents, please?"
"Of course," he said and left the room, to wait in the hallway.
A few minutes later he was joined by Lacey and Mrs and Mr Schonke and they said their goodbyes.
"We hope this wasn't the last time we saw you either, Harmon. You're always welcome."
"We stay in touch," Harm promised. To be honest, he too was ready to go. Watching Diane's portrait and hearing her parents tell about her had been straining on him as well. He held the car door for Lacey and with a final wave they were on their way back home. The elderly couple followed the car with their eyes till it turned the corner and disappeared out of sight.