Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
A/N: Sorry for the long delay, guys. I do hope you won't be disappointed with this. Honestly, I'm still experiencing hang-over from drought of fresh ideas to make the story more interesting. Well, without further ado, read on.
Aftermath 4 - Forgiveness and Sincerity
Kirisawa Fuuko's dreams are becoming more rampant these passed few days.
Even when she's wide awake, they are invading her consciousness and leaving her lost in reality and facing serious trouble for drifting to lala land most especially during class.
In addition to that, and much to her annoyance, her dreams leave her with jumble of feelings she couldn't quite understand, which makes her even more restless and inattentive.
For the first few months since her release from the hospital, the teachers have excused her for spacing out but she wasn't really known for paying attention in class and there's only so much that they can take. It wouldn't be surprising if they're already suspicious that she's doing it in purpose.
It can be depressing sometimes, to get into trouble without meaning to.
Fuuko has always been known for taking responsibility when she knows she's really at fault but to get into trouble because of her involuntary woolgathering is really quite bothersome.
She told her friends about it.
She also related to them her dreams and as it turns out they are not just ordinary dreams.
They are actually her memories and she recovers them through dreams.
That would have made her happy since it implies that she's finally reclaiming her memories.
But it can be unsettling sometimes, especially when she couldn't trace her dreams, and/or memories, together.
They're like pieces of puzzles that she needs to collect first and put piece by piece before she could see the whole picture and have her life back to normal.
It can be frustrating.
But then again, when she sees the joined effort of her family and friends, it makes it all worth it.
She sighed as she stood in silent contemplation at the rooftop of their school.
"Fuuko."
Fuuko turned to the sound of her name and saw Mikagami Tokiya standing just a few steps away from her.
She suddenly felt butterflies in her stomach at the sight of the handsome young man.
How odd, she thought, her eyebrows crossed, since she never get a reaction like that whenever she's with her other guy friends, Recca and Domon.
She shook off the weird feeling and looked teasingly at Tokiya.
"Hey, you're not a student of this school anymore. You're not supposed to be here."
Tokiya shrugged nonchalantly, "Nobody saw me."
Fuuko narrowed her eyes but smiled nonetheless, and then she turned her back on him.
"What are you doing here?" Tokiya asked, falling a step beside her and resting his eyes on the horizon.
Fuuko sighed before answering.
"I had a bad dream last night. I can't exactly remember what about. But I just knew it was bad because I was crying when I woke up and it felt like my heart was breaking." She said sadly.
Tokiya looked at her with a hint of concern.
Fuuko met his gaze and then shook her head. "It's nothing, just a silly little dream. In all honesty, I'm starting to get annoyed with myself because as far as I know, I'm not really the emotional type. But these dreams, or rather my memory flashes are becoming more frequent these passed few days and I have absolutely no control over them. It's very unsettling."
Tokiya nodded in understanding, not really knowing what to say or how to give comfort.
Although he didn't like to see Fuuko distressed, he couldn't also deny the fact that he wanted her to remember him as soon as possible and perhaps these memory flashes could work for his advantage.
"Anyway, for some weird reason, being here calms my heart and gives me some comfort." Fuuko added with a smile.
"In school?" Tokiya asked in disbelief and also with a hint of teasing. "That's a surprise."
Fuuko lightly slapped his arm with the back of her hand and glared at him.
"I'm talking about this rooftop, you idiot."
Any hint of teasing suddenly disappeared on Tokiya's face as bits and pieces of his own memory of the events that happened in that rooftop started filling his mind. But then one memory lingered longer than he would have like. In fact, he would have rather it be buried forever in the depths of his mind.
And in hers as well.
"I can't think of a logical reason really but maybe it's the closest I can get to the wind." Fuuko said thoughtfully. "Or perhaps most of my good memories of high school happened here."
"Some may be bad as well, you know." Tokiya commented quietly.
Fuuko turned to look at him in surprise but Tokiya didn't meet her gaze.
He couldn't.
He's afraid she might see his guilt. His regret.
Silence enveloped them.
After a few more moments, Fuuko finally spoke.
"Well, maybe the good overshadowed the bad."
"Still, the memory is there and it will be remembered one way or another. It's like a bitter reminder of the time that was wasted. Of the pain that was never intended to be inflicted upon someone cherished." Tokiya insisted, unconscious of his words.
"Do you have a specific incident in mind?" Fuuko asked, her eyebrows crossing in confusion.
Tokiya froze at her question.
Yes.
He mentally answered but Fuuko will not hear it from him.
They grew silent again.
Tokiya lost in his guilt and the bitter memories, which led to her accident, while Fuuko contemplated on his words and even more so on his odd behavior.
After a few moments, Fuuko broke the silence again.
"Sometimes we unintentionally hurt the people we love. It's an inevitable and unexplainable phenomenon." Fuuko said, turning to Tokiya and smiling. "But that's why we learn how to forgive."
Tokiya slowly turned to her and stared intensely at her emerald eyes.
His heart clenched at the depth of sincerity in her eyes.
Her green eyes that could speak volumes and now speak of her readiness to forgive.
How can she be ready to forgive him when he cannot even forgive himself?
But Tokiya decided he could still try and take what she is offering.
"Fuuko," Tokiya murmured with a silent sigh to calm his raging heart. "I'm sorry."
"Mmm…what? What for?" Fuuko asked in confusion, her eyebrows crossing.
For hurting you in the past, Tokiya wanted to say but he found that couldn't even if he tried.
His guilt choked him.
Maybe it is better that she doesn't remember me at all, he reasoned, his face involuntarily crumpling at the thought. He suddenly felt unworthy of her.
Worry filled Fuuko's face when his face looked troubled so she reached out her hand and gently touched his arm.
Tokiya snapped back to his senses when he felt a hand on his arm and when he looked up, his icy blue eyes met Fuuko's worried green eyes.
"I'm sorry." He involuntarily said again.
"Would you stop apologizing?" Fuuko asked, raising an eyebrow.
I don't think I'll ever stop, Tokiya answered mentally.
"I don't even know what you are sorry for." Fuuko said with a pout.
Perhaps it's better that you don't know.
Tokiya mustered up a weak smile and looked down.
Fuuko sighed deeply.
"Okay, how about this, if I remember something bad I'll tell you, then you say 'sorry'. If I find it sincere enough, I'll forgive you." Fuuko suggested with a smile. "But if you're not sincere, I'll kick your ass. Got it?"
She made a motion with her fist to emphasize her point.
Tokiya smiled genuinely this time.
Trust Fuuko to drive her point through violence, he thought in amusement.
"Okay." He agreed, albeit hesitantly.
"Pinky swear?" Fuuko asked childishly, holding up her right pinky finger.
"Pinky swear." Tokiya confirmed, hooking his right pinky finger with hers.
Fuuko beamed.
Tokiya rolled his eyes at her childish antics then he looked at his watch.
"Come on, I'll walk you home." Tokiya offered when he realized they have been there for almost an hour already.
Fuuko nodded, following him towards the door.
Then she stopped on her tracks.
"Tokiya," She called out.
Tokiya stopped and turned to look at her expectantly.
"Can I ask you a favor?"
Tokiya raised an eyebrow in silent askance.
"I know that this is highly unlikely, but if I cry again because of a bad memory and you're around, just give me a hug, okay?" Fuuko said with a smile. "A sincere hug so that I'll remember to forgive."
Tokiya raised his eyebrows and then slowly smiled at the implication of her words.
"Otherwise, you know the other condition." Fuuko said with a wink.
Tokiya smiled and pretended to reconsider, which made Fuuko narrow her eyes.
Then he slowly nodded.
Satisfied, Fuuko walked passed him.
Tokiya gazed wistfully at her retreating back for a while, and then finally followed her.
Author's Rants:
Don't kill me, okay? I barely escaped with my life with Michan. Good thing he walked Fuuko home, which buys me time to find a good hiding place. It's getting really hard to write down the part where Fuuko remembers everything. So if you guys have any suggestions, they will be greatly appreciated. But even just a few beautiful words would do so please leave me a review, okay?