Apologies for the delay in getting this next instalment uploaded. A family medical emergency meant I've been out of commission for a couple of weeks, but I'm hoping to get back on track now. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review this story so far. Knowing so many of you are sticking with it and enjoying reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it means a lot. So thank you again.
Nadine watched as a small scruffy bird hopped along the edge of the low wall that surrounded the Medici Fountain. She was sharing the wall with a number of her companion's small feathered friends and followed them as they flew in and out of the railings protecting the fountain, enjoying the respite the green leafed boughs overhead provided from the sun.
Nadine studied the tableau of statues at the far end of the rectangular pond; Polyphemus, jealous and angry; crushing Acis with a boulder as his distraught lover Galatea looked on in horror. Despite the violence, Nadine knew that love triumphed. After her first visit to the fountain so many years ago, she'd immediately gone to Shakespeare & Co. and bought a copy of Ovid's Metamorphoses, discovering that after the events depicted by the statuary, Galatea turned Acis into a river spirit making him as immortal as herself.
Nadine had enjoyed passing time here when she was younger. During the day she'd wander the city's parks before her evening performances; the peace of the green spaces and sculptures calming her — whether she was nervous before a performance, or angry with Amelia. She'd also spent a lot of time here during, what turned out to be, her last few weeks in Paris. Over time, it had become clear to Nadine and Amelia, that they'd wanted different things from life, and that realisation had been the beginning of the end of their relationship. As much as they'd loved each other, they'd come to the painful realisation that staying together wasn't really an option given the divergent paths each was set on following — Nadine to law school and Amelia to prestige as a world renowned choreographer. The peace of the water and the beauty of the sculptures scattered throughout the park had always managed to sooth her, and had given her time and space to think. And here she was, over thirty years later, availing herself of those calming influences once again.
The trip, so far, had been a whirlwind of emotion, and as was becoming the norm, Elizabeth was the cause of her turmoil. Nadine was overwhelmed by her efforts to make yesterday so special. While she'd avoided addressing Elizabeth's motives, the previous evening's events had brought Amelia's words back to haunt her. Elizabeth had barely spoken directly to her all evening. She was clearly troubled, but at least Nadine now had a fair idea as to why.
While Elizabeth had been distant, she'd continued to remain physically close to Nadine. They'd sat together, just as they had at the Royal Opera House a few hours earlier. Their bodies — one north, one south — naturally inclined towards each other, unable to resist the magnet pull that existed in the small space between them.
Throughout the show Nadine had felt Elizabeth's turmoil grow; her instinct telling her it wasn't caused by the, as yet, unacknowledged situation they were finding themselves in but that it was more complex. It had been during the final number of the show that Nadine had become aware of their proximity and had, without thinking, reached for Elizabeth and found Elizabeth reaching for her at the same time. Nadine had felt a ferocious need for comfort and reassurance in Elizabeth's grip.
And still, over dinner, they'd barely spoken, but had once again found themselves sitting side by side; Nadine acutely aware of how often they casually touched, but doubtful that Elizabeth noticed. The evening had come to an end soon after dinner and Nadine had decided it would be more prudent to stay with the staff for a nightcap, allowing Elizabeth to retire to her room with her agents. She didn't feel that either of them were ready for whatever remained unsaid to be said, or for the inevitable awkwardness that would result from them being alone in the corridor outside their rooms. And it turned out she'd been right.
When they'd congregated this morning, a tired looking Elizabeth had announced that she needed some time alone and didn't want to be disturbed on the flight unless absolutely necessary. This was a very different scenario to the flight which had taken them to London, in fact it was very different to any of the flights they'd made together. The door to her on board office would usually remain metaphorically open, the staff wandering in and out; Nadine would usually be found in the office itself, sitting on the sofa, responding to emails as the Secretary worked; their routine in her mobile office mirroring that of Elizabeth's seventh floor office.
However, on this morning's flight to Paris, Nadine had sat worrying in the section of the cabin dedicated to senior staff. It wasn't like the Secretary to banish them, in particular, Nadine. She was experiencing something she'd seen only once before — her boss rattled — and more importantly, Elizabeth was letting her personal emotions affect her professionalism. The time before was when she'd returned from Iran. This time, instead of a bomb, Nadine felt that she was responsible. She knew it wasn't rational. The blame she was feeling was due to the guilt that increasingly reared its head as her feelings for Elizabeth grew, and knowing that her feelings weren't the cause of Elizabeth's confusion and uncertainty didn't help.
Her own feelings couldn't make Elizabeth feel something in return, and yet, she still felt responsible. She didn't want to jeopardise their friendship and she certainly didn't want to do anything that would affect Elizabeth's legacy as Secretary of State. She was an immensely capable and intelligent woman and had the ability to become one of the most respected and influential Secretary's of State in recent history; and could go further if she chose to. Nadine was adamant that she wouldn't let anything prevent Elizabeth from achieving either.
Half way through the flight, Nadine's ruminations had been interrupted and she'd been surprised when the door to the office had suddenly opened and a rejuvenated Secretary stood there announcing that she was 'open for business'.
"Can I see you when you have a moment Nadine," she'd asked with a smile that looked to be half acknowledgement, half apology. Nadine had entered the office with a degree of trepidation, but was greeted by a more serene looking Elizabeth pointing to the seat by the window indicating for Nadine to sit.
"So?" She'd said, removing her glasses, clasping them in her hand. "Have you any plans for your afternoon?" Nadine had been surprised — she did have plans; she'd even considered asking Elizabeth to join her, but had reconsidered after this morning's awkwardness. Amelia would love where this is going, Nadine had thought, having a feeling that Elizabeth wanted to join her.
"I was planning on donning some comfortable shoes and revisiting some of my old haunts." Nadine watched as the cogs turned; Elizabeth was clearly trying to figure out how to get herself invited along without blatantly inviting herself. Nadine enjoyed a small internal chuckle — as if I would ever turn her down.
Deciding it would be kinder, Nadine had put Elizabeth out of her misery. "I'd planned to ask you to join me if you don't have any other plans?" she'd said. "There'll be a lot of walking, but I thought that might be quite nice considering we'll be spending most of tomorrow on a plane."
Elizabeth had groaned. "I know, why we thought it would be a good idea to go to Berlin for all of two hours, only to turn around and fly directly back to D.C. in the same day is beyond me." Elizabeth had looked down at the glasses she held in her hand and clasped and unclasped them. What internal debate transpired, Nadine didn't know, but with a big smile Elizabeth had turned her attention back to Nadine and said, "just as well I brought my running shoes with me then. I'm looking forward to seeing your Paris."
"Well, a lot has changed since I lived there, but hopefully a little of what I loved still exists. At least the memories remain." Nadine had surprised herself at the note of melancholy she'd heard in her own voice.
"Nothing ever stays the same Nadine, but change isn't always a bad thing." Elizabeth had said, clearly picking up on Nadine's tone.
They'd agreed to head out on their adventure after their meetings. As the morning progressed, Nadine had became more and more excited about sharing this part of her life with Elizabeth. So, when she'd seen the White House's phone number appear on the screen of her phone as they were en route back to the hotel to change, her heart had sunk.
And her instinct had been right on the money. Russell Jackson wanted Elizabeth on a secure call in an hour. Calls like that didn't tend to be short and Nadine had resigned herself to an afternoon alone, accompanied by her memories and their new friend, disappointment. There'd been a silver lining though — Elizabeth's face had fallen and she'd looked as disappointed and frustrated as Nadine had felt. They'd looked at each other, each with a resigned but disappointed expression, but then Elizabeth's face had brightened.
"An hour — two tops. If you let me know where you are in your tour down memory lane, I can come and meet you?" The fact that Elizabeth had framed her suggestion as a question rather than a statement was so cute, Nadine couldn't help but smile.
"I'll be waiting." She'd responded — with a little too much longing if the look in Elizabeth's eyes was anything to go by, but she'd squeezed Nadine's hand. "I'm sorry Nadine, but I promise to be as quick as I can. Try not to have too much fun without me."
Nadine's first stop had been the Cimetière de Montmartre. After a stroll past the famous names etched permanently on the gravestones she'd detoured back to the Jardin du Luxembourg. She wanted her last stop of the day to be Sacre-Coeur. It was close to the cemetery, but she knew by the time she, and Elizabeth if she was able to join her, got there, it would be getting dark. Seeing the cemetery in daylight had meant a detour, so here she was, three hours later, perched on the wall of the Midici Fountain ruminating on the past and present. Her thoughts had been flicking between Elizabeth and Amelia all afternoon as she'd walked, old memories intermingling with new memories, and she'd been surprised by the unexpected similarities she'd recognised in the two women. The familiar ring of her phone rescued her from having to consider the similarities too closely.
Her heart jumped at the immediate feeling of hope that it would be Elizabeth on the other end of the call. She chastised herself for getting ahead of herself, but couldn't help smiling when she heard Elizabeth chuckle into the phone, clearly sharing a joke with someone — probably one of her D.S. Agents.
"Hey Nadine — you still up for playing tour guide?"
"Yes ma'am." Nadine said playfully.
"Alright then — Ted's letting me out to play, with only four D.S. agents and a couple of gendarmes. They've promised plain clothes and a decent perimeter, so I'm all yours. Where should I meet you?"
She could hear Elizabeth moving around in the background, and a whispering of French voices, one of which she could have sworn was Elizabeth's — but for her own sanity, she tried not to focus on the sound of Elizabeth speaking in French, considering she was already trying to control her reaction to hearing Elizabeth tell her she was all hers.
"I'm just leaving the Jardin du Luxembourg now, so how about we meet outside the Abbesses Metro stop and we can walk from there?"
"Montmartre?" Elizabeth said.
"Montmartre." Nadine confirmed, surprised by Elizabeth's easy knowledge of the city. "Ted will love it." Nadine continued, knowing that despite the crowds, there may be some benefit to the narrow streets when it came to protecting Elizabeth.
"Perfect." Elizabeth said. "See you soon."