The exhaustion soon gave way to frantic worry. He had been searching for over an hour now, but he still could not find Helen. All he wanted was to rest, just for a little while, to sit down, breath and get rid of the heavy, heavy tiredness that stifled his senses and clouded his thinking.
But all he did was to grit his teeth and shove all that hurt, worry and tiredness into a deep dark hole at the back of his mind.
His ears suddenly picked up a sound so soft, it didn't even seem to be there. He tense instantly, adrenaline flooding his body. He spun towards the sound, body unconsciously tending into a battle stance, a broken and weary warrior ready to fight for his life.
But nothing appeared, and the sound emitted again from a nearby dustbin. Alex flinched at the noise, Muscles tensing so much they seemed to jump of his bones.
Cautiously, he crept up to the bin, and flipped the lid, cringing at loud bang the lid made as it flipped over. He looked in.
Two large eyes appeared, eyes not quite blue or gray, eyes that held fear, desperation and a tiny spark of hope.
"Alex?" A soft whisper told Alex it was Helen. Knee-weakening relief coursed through both his body and hers as he lifted her out of the bin. Helen flung her arms around his neck, not to choke and maim, but to embrace and celebrate. The hug was filled with so much relief, happiness and joy that even Alex felt it, felt those warm foreign emotions enter him and maybe, just maybe heal a tiny fraction of his soul.
Together they sat by bin, surrounded by trash, Helen on his lap, as they caught their breath and cleaned up a little.
But too soon, the happiness wore of and Alex was worried once more. Where Would they stay? Who would they get help from?
But as Helen snuggled up closer to him, seeking his warmth, he decided I'll leave all that for morning.
Then he settled down, curling up with Helen and fell asleep.
—
Alex woke up in cold sweat, shaking and shivering. Not from cold, but from his bad dreams. He could still see, as clearly as day, the explosion that ripped through Jack, killing her, painting everything red and black. He could see the blacken car, the dark, dark stains on the ground, and feel the tang of grief and fear that was in the air that fateful fay. He remembered the way Julius grief's body crumpled to the ground, the way Razim struggled, slowly sinking into the salt.
Shaking his head, he cleared his mind of horrid thoughts and focused on the current situation.
Where would they stay? Alex pondered hard.
Dawn soon came, bringing with it warmth and new hope. Helen stirred and woke.
Together they set out into a brand-new day, ready to face the world and survive.
—
Helen and him had been wandering around for about two hours, sticking mainly to the alleyways and backstreets. But after finding some clothes that weren't stained, torn and covered in blood and dirt, they dared to venture into the better parts of the town in hopes of scavenging some more food. And their luck was great so far. 2 half eased subway sandwiches, some soggy fries and a drinking fountain later, they were in a good mood (or as good a mood one can be when recently made homeless and abandoned by one's government) His injuries only throbbed with pain, and he could deal with it. it could have been worse. Alex shuddered, suddenly thankful that he didn't have any bullet wounds. The duo walked down the streets aimlessly.
Alex stopped in his tracks.
Isn't that Ben's house? He furrowed his brows as he stared as a perfectly ordinary house, perched at the end of the street. Feeling anxious, he debated on whether he should enter. A shower and some proper treatment for my injuries sure will be nice he thought to himself, suddenly feeling very dirty and aware of the crusted blood still on his back. Helen needs a roof over her head too. That decided it. With a deep breath, he threw all caution to the wind and knocked. Thud. The sound of his fist against the wooden door seemed hollow and foreboding. But he did it again. And again. Thud. Thud. Thud. Each knock made bile rise up in his throat and his heart beat faster. What if Ben calls the MI6? What if MI6 decides to kill me? MI6, deciding that he was no longer capable due to his mental state, (it was their fault he had PTSD anyway!) had taken away his identity. Without a home, money or identification, all Alex could do was live on the streets until he was picked up by one of his enemies. He was just glad it was some London gang and not SCORPIA
Only the fragile, delicate hope in Helen's eyes kept him there.
Creakkk...the door opened a tiny gap. Alex's heart stuttered. Ben poked his head out, glancing at them suspiciously. his eyes widened as he beheld the ragtag duo on his door step. Alex? He breathed. Furtively, Alex nodded.
Ben's eyes glinted with unshed tears. He quickly ushered Helen and Alex into his house.
Alex and Helen collapsed into an armchair, thoroughly exhausted. Ben kneeled in front of the armchair, eyes wild and breath coming in short pants. "Mi6 told me you were dead!" He clasped both his hands on Alex's cheeks. "How are you not dead? I…I even saw your body." His voice cracked. I was going insane; how could you leave us? How could you?" Alex sighed, pushed past his exhaustion, and went to comfort Ben. Laying the half-asleep Helen in the armchair, he led Ben to the couch, and tightly grasped his two hands. "it's MI6's fault. They tortured me for information I didn't have on SCORPIA, and erased me. I had no identity, no money, no shelter. I was picked up by one of my lower level enemies. Found Helen there and we both escaped." Alex said lowly. The lack of emotion and description in Alex's words seemed to calm ben down to a less hysterical state. Ben nodded, gulping in air.
—
An hour later, Ben was back in control, Helen was asleep upstairs and Alex was sitting on the couch with a hot chocolate, staring at a blank television.
Ben settled down beside him. "So how are you really? And don't give me that 'I'm fine' crap. I want the truth." Ben asked softly but firmly, wrapping a comforting arm around Alex. Alex's body seemed to soften and melt into the safe embrace of Ben's arm. He shuddered, from the weight and horror of past memories, but spilled everything to Ben. he told of how his government abandoned him, his time as prisoner with London's most notorious gang and is harrowing escape with Helen. He spun a tale so gruesome, so terrifying, so cruel that all Ben could do at the end of it was wrap Alex in his arms and run a soothing hand down his scarred back. "you'resafe now, Alex. " Ben whispered.
And for the first time since Jack's death, Alex let down his walls, tore down his masks, bared his broken soul for the world to see, and cried.