Laufey sat next to the bed while Atreus slept. He had been bedridden for several days now, the mysterious illness had stolen every ounce of energy from her son. The boy didn't even have the energy or dexterity to lift a spoon and feed himself. Laufey set the spoon back onto the table to grab a napkin and wipe the corners of his mouth where the soup spilled from. Feeding him was difficult, on a good day she could only manage five or so spoonfuls of broth down before he started choking on it. She always took her time when feeding him. How could her child begin to fight off whatever this was on an empty stomach? She recalls the rest of her list of things still left to attend to. She needed to wash the clothing Atreus soiled himself in this morning and give him a sponge bath for the night. She had decided to simply shave his beautiful brick red hair off, a gift he inherited from his uncle. Laufey's beloved brother. She had to do it, it was already difficult enough to tend to his hygiene as he remained bedridden. It always gave her more time to tend to his wounds. Laufey was already exhausted, but she couldn't let it overcome her. Right now, she sat next to her son and sang lovingly in his ear.
This was the fourth time the sickness engulfed the 7-year-old boy. The last time it lasted almost a month.
Kratos walked into the house and set a bag down next to the door. He carried himself differently once the sickness began to engulf their lives. A heaviness that even he himself couldn't lift threatening to overcome him. Laufey didn't look up from her needlework to acknowledge her husband. She had her Kratos' old red and gold kilt in her hands, sewing the holes in the now ancient garment.
"What are you doing?" Kratos asks approaching her and the sleeping boy.
"I had hoped if he wears this, perhaps he will find some of his father's strength," Laufey says in a cracked weak voice.
She hadn't taken much care of herself the past 3 weeks while tending to Atreus. The skin underneath her eyes felt heavy from a lack of sleep. Her lips were thin and dry from her inconsistent eating habits, and her once firm muscular body saged helplessly as it struggled to fit inside her dress with each passing month.
Atreus arched his back violently upwards into the air and unleashes a ghastly scream. His eyes kept painfully shut as his skin began to transform from pink to white, the veins underneath his skin were protruding outwards as if they were trying to escape his flesh. Laufey and Kratos lunged towards the boy but they were too late. Atreus brought his hand to his face and began to claw at his left cheek. He stripes a long line of flesh away from his face. Laufey tried tearing his hand away but his other swiped at her ferociously. It knocked her back and she tripped onto the floor. Kratos quickly overpowers the child and restrains him from his own rage. Atreus kept his eyes closed the entire time but his mouth was open wide and spitting rabidly as he screamed. His body contorting furiously from his father's restraint. Laufey stood back up and walked over to them, it was painful to watch, no matter how common this very thing had become. Kratos kept a calm grip on the boy but his eyes were a window into his unspoken anxiety and terror. In different circumstances, Laufey would try and comfort her husband, show him love and support to help soothe his mind. But there was no time for such things anymore.
After several more outburst, Atreus stills and returns back to sleeping peacefully. Kratos didn't let go of his son, his massive powerful hands trembling like a terrified child as he gripped onto Atreus. It wasn't until Laufey placed her hands overtop his knuckles did the demigod released his grasp onto their child. They don't look at each other, only their son. Laufey begins tending to the oozing wound the boy inflicted onto his lower left cheek.
"Faye..." Kratos says, but doesn't continue.
"You told me your daughter was borne with a sickness, are you certain this is different from that?" Laufey says while wiping the blood from Atreus' neck and ears. She knew how much Kratos hated discussing this topic but she was so desperate for answers.
Years ago when Atreus first became sick, Kratos left to search the lands for a special fruit thinking it would cure the boy. He was gone for months, but before left he told Laufey about his daughter. A small, frail, sweet mortal infant who became cursed with a skin disease by an ancient god from another world. He was able to save her life with something called ambrosia.
He returned empty-handed. But miraculously, just as Kratos returned, Atreus slipped out of his sickness and back to his normal self.
Laufey tried convincing herself this same disease was what had befallen their boy years ago.
Or at least She hoped it was the disease.
"If you desire, I will set off again and search for the fruit," Kratos says turning to his wife. "But you first need to gather yourself Faye. Go outside in the fresh air. I will sit with the boy." He says looking at their son.
Laufey didn't move, she knew she was letting herself deteriorate almost as badly as Atreus was.
"How can you help our son if you yourself are ill?!" He snaps.
Laufey was angry but not at Kratos, at herself. She threw the bloody cloth back into the bucket of water. Then she quickly stormed out the door without saying a word. Too consumed in her thoughts to care what message it sent to her husband. The weight of taking care of their sick son often threatened to sink their relationship. They always worked through it, but there was no time to think about that right now. All that matters was keeping their son alive through this. They can work on rekindling their passion once he is healthy. Passion had to be set aside while they deal with this. As for right now, Laufey had to gather herself...
She knew he wouldn't follow her, so she went to the boulder.
She left her paints next to the old stone canvas. She had started painting the scenes she remembered Tyr showing her in Jotunheim.
Kratos was there, fighting Baldur with the stonemason. But she couldn't remember if Loki had been prophesied in this part, or who was animating the stone mason? Loki had to have been, but, why was she drawing a blank in her mind? Why can't she remember? The visions had long left her, but now it felt like the memories of them was slowly being plucked from her head one by one. As if something or someone was absorbing her visions, inheriting her power.
She cursed herself for not paying enough attention to Tyr in the cave. She was instead too concerned at the realization of her own death and sacrifice.
"Selfish." She said out loud bitterly to herself. Cursing her past self for not caring as much for her son as she does now.
Her life was nothing when weighed next to the boy sleeping in that bed.
She pressed her back against a tree trunk and slid down slowly. A dark thought crept into her mind.
The same one that always did when Atreus got sick.
Sick with burning skin, a burning fever.
She had changed fate, and now Atreus was to be the sacrifice needed to bring the jotunns back.
She frantically grips her face and slides her fingers into her hair and pulls at the roots.
It was her fault, her own stupid selfish fault.
She pulled at her hair, she could hear her heartbeat in her own ears.
Laufey sat there hating herself. She did this to her own son. She was a coward and now he would die in her place.
'The parent of Loki would come down with a burning sickness and die. Then, their scattered ashes would bring back the giants.'
Kratos and Laufey were not the parents of Loki.
The burning fever that befell Atreus, what else could it be?
He was to take his mother's place.
Laufey curls into a ball and weeps.
When she walked back to the cabin Kratos stood at the front door. She was upset, he should be close to the boy just In case he had another fit. She rushes up the hill but then sees Atreus standing behind his father. He was holding a cloth up to his bleeding cheek and had his father's kilt wrapped around his waist.
She runs over and hugs her boy.
Over the next few years, when the boy wasn't sick, Laufey dedicated her life to giving Atreus a full and joyful childhood. She sometimes didn't know which one was more physically exhausting, caring for the sick child or keeping up with a wild young boy? She would take him hunting, carved him toys to play with, spend hours preparing him delicious meals to eat every day, never knowing when it would be his last one. More importantly, she taught him everything she knew about the world.
The boy's attitude greatly improved. He transformed from a shy timid child into a cheerful and playful young boy. He was so smart she realized. He would pick up on everything she taught him. His speed for catching onto new languages was astounding. But more importantly, throughout it all, he remained kindhearted and pure.
Her husband had been another story.
Kratos grew distant from the boy year by year. Perhaps blaming himself just as much for his sickness as she did to herself? But instead of giving him the best life possible while time still remains, he kept his distance and didn't get too attached to the boy. Snapping at him occasionally whenever he came home from his hunts.
At least, that's what she assumed.
Whenever she would try and bring it up to Kratos he would quickly deflect the conversation, or worse, disappear for a few days.
She still loved her husband and knew he loved her too. But he always stalled whenever it came to vocalizing his emotions. He worked hard to provide for them but procrastinated taking responsibility for his actions or feelings.
She would continue to be patient towards the man she loved, even when it conflated with the life she wanted to give her dying son.
Keeping both men inside her heart made her feel so full. Even during the darkness of days, love and joy surrounded her whenever Kratos was around. Though he hardly ever came out of his shell to show her affection when their son was around. Only when they were alone in the woods underneath the stars, or naked in each other's arms did his rough outer layer begin to peel away. Revealing the man she fell in love with all those years ago in this very cabin.
She couldn't get too mad at him for this. She spent so much energy tending to Atreus she sometimes forgot to acknowledge Kratos throughout the day. Nevertheless, she knew they both cherished each other and that, deep down, Kratos loved Atreus.
It was a funny thing to wish for, but she wished he loved him as much, if not more than he loved her.
"Jormungandr?" Atreus says.
"Yes, he may sound scary. But he is actually a sweet and amicable soul." She says.
"Is he really that big? Crazy! Thor kills him?"
"Yes, but dies from the poison the serpent inflicted on him," Laufey says.
"So the serpent sacrifices himself in a way? To bring down Thor once and for all?"
"That's right. Thor killed all the giants of Midgard, and in the end, a giant kills him." She says with a hint of sass.
"You don't like Thor very much, do you?"
Laufey didn't respond to the boy. Figuring the silence would answer his question.
"It's why you hate whenever there's lightning during a rainstorm." He says.
He was so clever to pick up on her fears she thought. She assumed she did an outstanding job acting calm during a violent thunderstorm.
"Are you afraid of the lightning as well?" She asks.
"No, not really. Just because someone else uses it improperly, doesn't mean it can't ever be used for good."
Laufey's heart swells with pride. She touches his arm but before she could say anything he hops up and runs towards the door.
"You said we could go hunting today after we finished. Were we all finished? Let's go!"
He was right, she did indeed promise him this.
She went to stand up quickly, but then everything went black.
When she awoke, Kratos was there sitting in the bed next to her. Atreus stood a small distance away. Something had terrified the boy.
"Faye." She hears her husband rasp.
Slowly he came into full focus. She opened her mouth to talk but couldn't find the strength to combine the sounds.
"Boy, get her something to drink. NOW!" Kratos screams at their son.
Atreus takes a bucket into his hands and runs out the door, tripping on his way out.
She closed her eyes weakly. She didn't enjoy seeing him yelling at Atreus.
Kratos smooths a hand into her hair and down her cheek. "Stay shining my light." He whispers to her.
Atreus rushes back inside and hands Kratos the water. He lets her drink small sips until she lifts her hand in protest.
"Thank you." She whispers.
"What happened," Kratos says, quickly giving Atreus an angry glare as if he had asked him the same thing and didn't believe the boy.
"I don't know," Laufey whispers. "Everything was fine, I just." She reaches her hand to feel her forehead.
She felt hot.
Could this be? Her eyes widened.
"Help me stand up. Please." She tried pushing herself up but instead fell back down.
"Mother!" Atreus yells as she fell back down.
"You are not leaving this bed," Kratos demands.
"Atreus, I'm sorry we couldn't go hunting my son."
"Mother I don't care about that right now. What's wrong?"
She knew or hoped she knew. But the weakness was slowly fading away.
She looked at the two men in her life. Her face softened. 'Please, let this be it.' Laufey says to herself. 'Me, not them.'
Resolve washed over her, as she saw the two of them standing so close together. Their arms were touching, how long had it been since she saw Kratos hug their son? She was happy to see the two of them standing so close together.
Atreus was outside the door playing with his toys while Laufey sat in bed carving a branch with her knife. Occasionally she would look up at Atreus before returning back to her work. She held the wooden bow out towards the boy's body far ahead of her. Measuring it in her mind.
She smiled once she was finished and rises weakly out of bed. Steadying herself against anything she could. Being bedridden for so many days made standing up a challenge, but once she was up she would be fine to move around.
"Atreus, come here sweetheart." She calls.
The nine-year-old hops up and runs over to her.
"I have a birthday gift for you." She says with a smile.
His eyes widened. "But, it's not for a couple of weeks."
"Maybe, on your actual birthday." She holds out his bow. "You can hunt us something to eat all by yourself."
Atreus gasps as he took the bow from her hands.
"Wow, really?!" He holds it up and pulls the string back. "It's so much bigger from the one you use."
Laufey lifts herself away from leaning on the chair and smiles. Her chin wrinkled slightly as she hid her emotions from him.
"I know, but you will grow into it."