Draco was pacing again.
He'd been doing that a lot the past two days.
It was still the weekend, but almost approaching Monday, when he would have to face her.
And he just couldn't do that.
He didn't understand it at all. Surely, he had done much worse things…. Well, maybe not worse, but he'd been pretty terrible through his years of service to his father, and to his House. He had been raised to be horrible, and now, for some reason, he just couldn't justify what he did. He was beginning to hate himself.
More than usual.
At six thirty that evening, while everyone else was at dinner, it finally came.
The knock.
But it wasn't at all what he had expected.
When he saw her standing in front of the portal, alone, he couldn't speak. He just stood back so she could come in.
She entered, slowly, keeping a fair distance from him, but still she entered, cautiously. Even though he would expect much more fear from her, she remained calm and collected as she stood opposite as he closed the door. They stood in a deadly silence, until-
'Hermione…' Draco started, quietly, no hint of maliciousness in his voice. 'I… I don't…'
'Stop right there, Malfoy. I know what you're going to say,' she told him, wand in hand, haunted eyes burning into his, 'you're going to start in about how I'm nothing, right? I'm just some mudblood piece of trash, right? Well, I've got news for you, Malfoy; I'm a person, okay? God, you and your fucking vendetta against muggleborns, it's gotten really old, you know? I'm more human then you'll ever be! I just wanted to tell you that right now, alright? You're a heartless fucking bastard and I told you if you touched me I would kill you, didn't I?' she whispered at a deadly tone, and slowly stepped towards him. 'Didn't I? Just before you raped me? Fuck, Malfoy, I thought even you, even you, couldn't sink that low. You're lower than a worm, Malfoy, and I ought to just finish you off right here.'
Draco quivered, the thought of self-defence foreign now from his mind. 'Hermione, please…' he dropped to his knees, wishing he could make things right, tell her what she had done to him, what she had made him realize.
A cruel smirk crossed her lips. 'Draco,' she cooed, caressing his pale cheek, 'you really think I would let you off that easy? I'm going to make you see your error. You broke me, Malfoy. And I'm going to get retribution.'
Trembling, Draco was barely able to mutter his plea. 'What do you want? Please, I'll do anything…'
'I'm going to own you, Malfoy, I'm going to make you mine. I'm going to see your past, Draco, and you're going to come with me. I see it in your eyes, Draco. You feel sorry for what you did. So sorry that you'll do anything. Well, this is what I want.' Stopping, but keeping her want pointed at his heart, she pulled out a small vial of clear liquid. 'Veritaserum. You will swallow this. You will tell me the truth about everything. I'm sure you've not learned Occlumency, so I'm not worried. And if you don't swallow, I'll know. Now, drink.' She held out the vial to him, and he swallowed in one gulp, opening his mouth so she could see he had fully swallowed it. 'Know, Draco, that three drops diluted in pumpkin juice would have had you spilling out your secrets to me. You just swallowed an entire vial. You will answer every question I ask, no matter how mortifyingly embarrassing, painful, or incriminating. Do I make myself perfectly clear?'
Without a moment's hesitation, Draco, still on his knees in front of her, answered, 'Yes.'
'Good.' She licked her lips, suddenly dry from the shock of seeing him so vulnerable. She had made up her mind to be as cruel as he had been to her over the years, but it just wasn't in her nature. If he had yelled, or argued, it would have been easier… but this docile Draco did nothing to enflame her temper. Caught off guard, she stumbled slightly on her first question. 'Well…' she began, 'you told my why you did it, but… I still don't understand. What did you mean? And I want the full version, not the lame ass riddles you're so fond of.'
Before he could even begin to stop himself, Draco began to tell her practically his entire life story. 'When I was still only a couple years old, I had a nanny, but she was less than useless… I used to wander a lot around the manor, exploring all the rooms, and spying on people… one day, I walked into my parents' bedroom... what I saw…' here, his voice cracked, and silent tears began to roll down his face, 'I saw my father hit my mother. Slapped her. Sometimes, in my nightmares, I can still hear her whimpering… it was only a couple years later, when I first started with my tutors, that he would hurt me. I was never good enough for him, I suppose… I know he was never pleased. No matter how well I did, he still wasn't satisfied…' No! said the voice desperately in his head, dangerous territory TURN BACK NOW, but he couldn't stop the serum from working, 'and then I came here. To Hogwarts.' DANGER, DANGER, DANGER! Turn Back NOW! 'I was sure, because I was pureblood, that I would be the best. My family, you know… but then, you came along… you, with your damned muggle heritage, beating me at everything. You and Potter, the overachievers. I didn't make the Quidditch team in my first year, and you always scoring better on tests and in class… During the holidays, he was… impossible. I could even live with the physical pain, you know? But the mental strain… I could never please him, no matter what I did…'
Hermione's eyes were beginning to gloss over. She was sure he had had a terrible childhood (with a father like Lucious Malfoy, who wouldn't?), but she never imagined this. 'But you said… something about innocence? And if you never pleased him, how did you always get what you wanted?'
Draco bypassed the first question, knowing he would have to answer eventually. 'It was all appearance. If his son didn't seem well treated, and doted on, how the hell could he seem wealthy, and powerful? It was all an act, the father the world saw. Eventually, I just started to block out all the negative memories, the negative feelings… and… well, I don't really know how to explain what I took from you… you know better yourself… but, I was innocent, before… There's a certain look in the eyes, you can see innocence… but then, once it's gone, it can never come back… I think I thought if I took yours, I could redeem mine… but all it gave me was a reminder of me… now all I see is a mirror… I recognized it that night… lost… I stole it… it was lost before its time, and God, Granger – Hermione – I'm sorry. If I could take give it back, I swear on my life, I would. I just… you brought out something in me that I was scared of… I felt I was loosing myself, but I wasn't… I was finding it…' tears poured out of his eyes, as he told her, and himself, the full and honest truth. 'I found myself… God, how I wish that I could do it all again, but… Please, Hermione, please, I know I deserve everything I get, but please, please, understand, I never, never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted the hurt to stop. I'm… I'm… scared.' The tears were pouring more steadily now, his silver eyes shining with remorse.
His last word came out as a whisper, but Hermione heard it crystal clear. Draco Malfoy, scared. She had always thought that he could never be brave as he put on. Underneath everything, he was still only her age, confused. But this – this! – was unbelievable. She never thought, in all her life, she would hear the truth from Draco. And now, she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear any more.
A/N So… What did you think? Too much? Too little? Too perfect? Feedback (both positive and negative) would be greatly appreciated. Ciao! JacintaM